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VOL. XX, NO. 36.] Yhoith Ontario Observer. A WEEKLY POLITICAL, AGRICUL TURAL § FAMILY NEWSPAPER, 18 PUBLISHED AT PORT PERRY, ONT., 'EVERY "THURSDAY MORNING, = BY BAIRD & PARSONS. RMS.--$1 per annum, if paid in ad- vances If mot $1.80 will bo charged. No subscription taken for less than six months; and no paper discontinued until all arrears are ry L\TES OF ADVERTISING. For each line, first insertion .. .$0 08 Subsequent insertions, per line . 002 Cards, under 6 lines, per annum... . 5 00 "when ad- #&F™ Letters containing mone; " dressed to this Office, pre-paid and regester- ed, will be at our risk "Advertisements measured by Nonpareil, | Rr aud charged according to the space they oc-- upy. vertisoments received for publication. without specific instructions, will be inserted antil forbid and charged accordingly. No advertisement will be taken out untilpaid for. "A liberal discount allowed to Merchants and others who advertise by the year or half-year. BEF" These terms will in all cases be strictly . e-vd to Job Department. Pamphlets, Hand Bills, Posters, Pro- grammes, Bill Heads, Blank Forms, Receipt Books, Checks, Books, Circulars, Business Cards, Ball Cards, &c.,of every style and color, executed promptly and at lower rates than any other establishment in the County. 1 Parties from a distance getting hand bills, &c. printed can have them done to take home with them. H. PARSONS. J. BAIRD, Professional Cars. sre mone = RS. JONES & KENNEDY, Physicians, D Surgeons, &c., &0., Port Perry. Surgery :--Second door west of the Presby- terian Church. J D, P.8. R. JoxEs, M. D,, ALEX. KENNEDY, M. Coroner. M.C. crm g------ ------. 'W. CUDLIPP, Aromrsct, J. Having had considerable practical ex perience in France, the United States and Car and holding Certificates from Hep Majesty's P ivy Council in Building Construction, I am prepared to furnish DESIGNS, PLANS, DETAILS, ESTI- MATES, §C., For Buildings, at a low figure, All orders addressed to me, Port Perry Post Office, will receive immediate attention, N.B. Iam prepared to erect Buildings of any size or kind. Port Perry, Feb 8, I877. em ee imma -- Ww SPENCE, CoNTRACTOR, BUILDER, &C. The Subscriber in returning his sincere thanks for the very liberal patronage be- stowed on him, in ihe past would inform ihe ublic general at havin a p and 'moved into the Village of Prince 1 he will in future give his whole attention to his business as Contractor, and is NOW re: to gandertake Stone Work, Brick- Laying, Plastering, and everything connecte therewlth, which he will execute on the short- est notice and.in the Jon and Josh duranie vle, and at the very lowes re af C] = oo job ean be done, We Peat material first-class workmans! Sul At fa SPENCE. Prince Albert, April5, 1876. _ usic. DROF, HARRINGTON, Teacher of Music, Port Perry. Also dealer in Musical In- struments. Residence,on Union Avenue. 18S 8. 8. HARRINGTON, Teacher of Music. Applications by Post or in person soijcited. Residence, on Union Avenue, Port Perry. Business ards. JAMES W,. BEALL. OWNSHIP CLERK, TOWNSHIP OF EAST WHITBY. Conveyancing and General Insuiance Agent. Office in the Town Hall, from 9 a. m. till 5p. m. The Clerk will be home for township business on Mondays and Saturdays. Business hours Columbus, March 28, 1877. R. WARE, Coronor for the County of Ontario, Physician, Surgeon and Ac- ucheur, COmee, opposite the town hall. Port Perry. ene H. SANGSTER, M. D., Physician, Sur- J. geon and Accoucheur, Coroner for the County of Ontario PORT PERRY. Office over Nott's Furniture Store, corner of «uaen and Perry Streets. Office hours from 9a. m. to 12 m. Residence, the dwelling recently occupled ¥ Mrs. Geo, Paxton. ; « L & RAE, Physclans, Surgeons, A NO RA "Residences, King st. Oshawa, WM. M'GILL, M.D. FRANCIS RAE, M.D. rn M. F. McBRIEN, M.D, M. R. (%. S., Guy's TRA London, England. The liye R. , H. Ly, Oshawa, a bas 3. FAREWELL, LL. B, County Crown EE for 'Ontario, Barrister, Attorney, Solicitor, and Notary Public. Oflice lately oc- cupled by S. H. Cochrane, Esq., Brock street, $ Whitby. An ie Ee Le YMAN L. ENGLISH LL. B., Solicitor in Chancery, Attorney, Conveyancer, &c. Oshawn. OMce--Simooe strect, opposite the Post Office ieee yO G SMITH, Ll. B., Barrister, At- . UN AM Solicitor in Chancery, and Insolvency, Notary Public, &e. Office--McMillan's Block, Brock street, Whitby. ERON & MACDONNELL, Barristers ANE Attorneys at Law, Solicitors County Couneil, Ontario. Offices : Court House, Whitby. M. 0, CAMERON, H J. MACDONNELL. A. HURD, Attorney at Law. . dn Chancery. Office inthe Port Perry. and Solicitor Royal Arcade, W. Maurice Cochrane, TTORNEY-AT-LAW, Solicitor in Chan- A cery Notary Public, &c., &c. Office hours punctually from 9 a.m. to 5 pm. Money io Loan at 8 per cent, on all kinds of good security. Office, Bigelow's Royal Arcade, PORT PERRY. J. ATE Pat Fenton, Dentist, 0 Corrigan & bell's St» Perry. A done in t latest and b satisfaction, Port Perry, FER DENTISTRY. FR The undersigned would inform the public that he now practices his profession of Dental Burgeon at his residence, Prince Albert, where he is prepared to attend to all who require his services, or parties will be attended at cheir residences if they prefer it. My long and thorough knowledge of every department of the profession enable mo to watrdnt satisfaction in every 2 R, FOSTER, L.D 8. i "Prince Albert, Aug. 16, 1876. . A. MURRAY, FLA e and warran, to give M. rch 28, 1877. 0. N. VARS, L. D. 8. EETH iaserted on all the latest princi- ples of the art, and as cheap as the cheap- est, and as as the best. Teeth filled with Gold and Silver. Teeth extracted withoyt pain by producing local anmsth- esis. Dentical Rooms--in Cowan's new block, over Atkinson's Drug Store, King Street, Oshawa. OHAS. THORN, V 8, faces of C II. ofa ated Sept. 16, 1867. "DF. Thora begs to announce that he has taken up his residence at Port Perry, and is to treat #11 cases entrusted to the most skillful and scientific All orders left at the Medical Hall will receive prompt attention. now his care in manner, of Mr Allison, y Veterinary Stables may be found Be on EAlly strest, opposite Cossitt's Factory. Port Perry, Oct. 28, 1873 the Veterinary Institute, Gold Medalist for fhe best examination on Horse Practice. Author First Prise Essay on Shocing. Gradu- JOHN S. M. WILLCOZX, F the Town of Whitby, has been ap- pointed AND GENERAL ADVERTISER PORT PERRY, PROVINCE OF ONT ARIO, THURSDAY, AUG. 16, 1877. E. MAJOR, ICENSED AUCTIONEER: All parties wishing his services can call at the "Observer" Office, Port Perry, and arrange for days of Sales. Glen Major, Oct. 10, 1876, WM. GORDON, Licensed Auctioneer, Valuator, &e. OR the Township of Brock, Uxbridge, Scott, Thorah, Rama, Mara, Mariposa and Eldon, p&y™ Parties entrusting their Sales to me way rely on the utmost attention being given to their interests. WM. GORDON, Sunderland, Brock. T. HL WALSHE, ICENSED Auctioneer for the Township North Ontario ; Mariposa, ete., in the County of Victoria. Residence--Cannington, Brock. Orders left at this office, or at his residence will be punctnally attended to. Debts col- lected in Cannington, or otherwise, and prompt remittances made. Remember-- WALSHE, the North Ontario Auction- eer, Fotels. THE WALKER HOUS PORT PERRY 5 HE Subscriber having leased the above hotel, it will be his endeavor to conduct it in every particular so as to merit the approbation and patronage of the public, THE WALKER HOUSE whether for extent or quality of accommo- dations is equalled by few Hotels in the Province and surpassed by none out of the best cities Commercial Travelers, the Traveling Public, Farmers and others doing business in the Village and the general public will v find in THE WALKER HOUSE all that can be required in the matter of accommodation and moderation in charges. The Charges are No Higher at the Walker House than at any OFFICIAL ASSIGNEE ! or the county of Ontario. Any business antrusted to his charge will be carefully' at- | tended to. | "\W. BURN HAM, Clerk of the Third Divi- J. sion Court. Office in Bigelow's Block, Port Perry. Office hours from 10a m, top. m. T. C. FORMAN, | INSPECTOR of WEIGHTS § MEASURES For the County of Ontario. | Port Perry, Nov 1, 1875. 45:tf a | New Marriage Act. Port Perry, 1st, 1874. ENRY CHARLES having been re- appointed Marriage License Agent-- (after sixteen years duty) continues to fur- nish Licenses as herctofore--at Port Perry. July R. RIOFARDSON, Re-appointed Issuer of Marriage licenses. Under the New Act. Office; lot 10, in the 1st con. Brock. Brock, Aug. 56,1874. 33 T C. FORMAN, ISSUER OF Marriage Licenses. One door west of the Walker House Port Perry. J OHN CHRISTIE, TOWNSHSP CLERK, ssder of Marriage Licenses--Conveyancer, Commissioner &c. Office--Manchester. THE ONTARIO Farmers' Mutual Insuranc Co'y Head Office, Whitby, Ont. This Company is now fully organized and is prepared to accept risks on Farm Buildings and their c ts, country School Houses and Churches, Those wishing to insure and thereby support a Home Insurance Company have now an opportunity of doing so, either by applying to the Head .Office, or to any of the local Agents of the Company. Our rates will be found as low as those of any respon- sible Mutual Insurance Company in Canada, Head Office--Opposite the Royal Hotel Brock 8t., Whitby C. NOURSE, Secretary. W. H. BROWNE, General Agent. * WHITBY STEAM MARBLE WORKS. J. & R. WOLFENDEN, \ A THOLESALE and Retail dealers in Foreign and American Marble Man- tles, Monuments, &c., Dundas St , Whitby. Also, Agent for the Scottish Granite. Also Building Stone cut to orde:. JOHN NOTT, Agent, Port Perry. 3 Whitby, July 29, 1874. 2 Auctionerrs. : (x7 M.WILLCOX, LicENSED AUCTIONEER, FOR THE CO. OF ONTARIO, 8 AND TOWNSHIPS OF MARL. POSA & CARTWRIGHT, Begs to thank his many friends and the public generally, for the liberal patron- age bestowed upon him for the past five years. Having now given up the business of I other Hotel in Town. House is fitted up throughout in lass i L | Fis ass STYLE, The Tables and Bar supphed with the choice ot the market and the utmost atten-- tion paid to the convenience and comfort of ALL GUESTS. The An abundance of comfortab: Shed accommodation, and attentive hostlers. W. B. McGAW, Port Perry, April 20, 1876. JORT PERRY HOUSL, PORT PERRY. JAS. V. THOMPSON, - PROPRIETOR, The above House is now most comfort- ably furnished, and Guests are cared for in the Home Style. Good Liquors and Cigars, also, first class Stabling and good Ostlers.-- Additions have been made which maker this the largest and best House in this section of country. Fare $1.00 per Day. Pros HOUSE, PORT PERRY, The Subscriber having leased this <omfort. able and convenient Hotel, will spare neither labor nor expense in providing for the com. fort and convenience of guests, The Tables will always be supplied with the best to be had in the market. Only choice Liquors and Cigars at the Bar, Any quantity of firstels Stable and Shed accommodation properly attended to by careful Ostlers, CHAS. HOLT. Port Perry, March 8, 1876, prreas HOUSE, MANCHESTER. By GEO. HOUCK. | Having leased the above excellent Hotel it will be my endeavor to conduct 'it in eyery particular so as to merit the appro- bation and patronage of the public. Manchester, Oct. 6, 1875. fmproved Farms, Vill other Securities in this and at the lowest current rates of interest. As we have funds on hand at all times Borrowers candep nd on getting their money with the least possible delay. largest Monetary Institution in Canada. of Brock, Thorah, Mara & Rama in |! Stable and | 188 | Whitby, April 10, 18 M.NEY TO LOAN. MORTCACES WANTED. HE Subscribers have large sums of mon- ey placed in their hands for investment on e Properties, al oining Counties WANTED TO PURCHASE, Any number of Mort gnges for which the high- est figures will be allow! 'Wearealso appraisers for the Canada Per- manent Building Society, the chea: st and Pal up Capital $1,500,000. Instalments re-payable n from 2 to 20 years. pay Lands Bought and Sold. Several good farms for sale. J Agents for several first class Fire In surance Companies. Collections made and a general agency busi- ness transacted. 7% DEBENTURES BOUGHT."&x JOHN & DAVID J. ADAMS, General Agents, Office In Mr. Ross' Ontario Buildings, Port Perry. Port Perry, Oct. 11, 1872, JAMESLUND, MONEY, LAND & INSURANCE BROKER, YONVEYANCER, Commissioner for taking J AMdavits in Court of Queen's Bench, &e. MONEY TO LOAN nan ner to suit borrowers, Mortgnges ou Accounts, Notes, &e., Collected und rom pt remittances made, The party borrowing money can get it thout commission, at Eight per cent, and lo wn ti for payment (not Ce 1 Just orall of the ice to the Company, the, the 1 eh stim, whether | s t redu \ d for botl ossibly be no publi- the money will be after making applica JAMES Br cy Parrish's Block, Cor, Brock aud Bascon streets, Uxbridge. MONEY TO LOAN. The undersigned hasany amount of Money to lend upon Farin and Town Property, at Unusually Low Rates of Interest! Loans can be repaid in any manner to suit the borrower. Also several Improved Farms, and Wild Lands for sale, cheap. Investments made in Municipal' Deben- tures, Bank and other marketable Stocks. Apply to * JAMES HOLDEN, Official Assignee, Broker, &e, Orrice--Over the Dominion Bank, McMil- lan's Block, Brock st., Whitby, MONHKY [Private Funds,) I'o Loan on good Farms, at 8 per cent in- terest. LYMAN ENGLISH, BARRISTER, &C., Oshawa : 4 November 21, 1866. {DAILY LINE TO ROCHESTER. o : he TARI1O AOTEL, WHITBY, T. MASON, - = PROPRIETOR. The public well cared for, and all Guests will please feel at home. | Whitby, Nov. 9th, 1876. Q Corner of Cameron and Laidlaw Sts. CANNINGTON, Ox. D. CAMPBELL, . . PROPRIETOR | This Hotel is now furnished in the best style, and offers every accommodation to travelers | pe¥™ First class Sample Rooms. Livery attached. Cannington, Oct. 20, 1875. UEENS HOTEL 43 ° A NOLO-ANERICAR HOTEL, PRINCE ALBERT. W. H. PARK, PROPRIETOR. Having purchased the above pleasantly situated Hotel, 1 have thoroughly repaired and renovated the: entire premises even to the Sheds, The Hotel has been furnished in First-Class Style and Stocked with the best Liquors and Cigars! Strict attention paid to the comfort of guests, The table and bar well supplied. W. H. PARK. Prince Albert, June 12, 1875. A sroNg HOUSE, (LATE ALBION,) WHITBY, ONTARIO. E. ARMSTRONG, PROPRIETOR. The Only First Class House in Town. ENSON HOUSE, late Jewett House, Kent Street, Lindsay. Board, $1.50 per day. pre E. BENSON, Proprietor. of JJ OYAL XORANGE HOTEL, WILLTAMSBURG, CARTWRIGHT. @chitects, KC. [JENRY GRIST, PATen SoLicitor AND Draveuraay, Ottawa, Canada Fransucts business with the Fatent Office dnd other departments of the Government Jopyr d the Registration of Trade opprights a Drawings, Marks and D signs procured, Sheciiontions, and other Documents neces fry to' secure oeeipt of the model of the Invention. Patents of Invention, prepared It will be my endeavor, by prompt and careful attention to business, to give full satisfaction to all who may favor me with their Sales or Collecting. Bi draughted and Blank Notes furnished free ot harge. Algo Bill Stamps always on hand. Arrangements can be made for sales &c., at the Onserver Office, and at the Standard Office, Port Perry. : W. M. WILLCOX, ort Perry, Oct. 25, 1873. E. BRYANS, Proprietor. Bailiff, I intend, in future, to devote my - 1 The Subseriber having succeeded Mr. Mason whole time to the of A yin this and Hotel has Collecting, &c. spared neither labor nor expense in re-fitting and renovating the entire premises. The Bar supplied with a superior class of uors and the best brands of Cigars, The choice of the marie proyided for the Tables. Excellent stabling and attentive Ostlers, : E, BRYANS Williamsburg, Dec. 6, 1875. TE QUEEN'S HOTEL, WHITRY, ONT. McCANN & TAYLOR, PRroPRIBTORS. Every accommodation for the traveling public, on or abotu Tuesday the 17th of April, THE STEAMER " NORSEMAN," (W. SHERWOOD, MASTER.) Will make her regular Trips on that route. leaving Cobourg every morning at 7.30, and Port Hope at 9., on arrival of G. T. R, Trains from East and West, connecting at Rochester with the New York Central, North- ern Central and Erie Railways, and the Lake Ontario Shore Division of the Rome, Watertown and Ogdensburg Railway for all points East, West and South. Returning, will leave Charlotte (port of Rochester) daily at 9 p.m,, except Saturdays yuon she will leave at 3 p.m. for Port Hope rect. Dealers in Stock, &c., will find this the cheapest and most expeditious route to Bos- ton, Albany, New York, &c. For further information apply to W. SHERWOOD, Port Hope. . Or to C. I. Gilders © nr: on, PORT PERRY LIVERY STABLES, C. M'KENZIE, PROPRIETOR. HE Subscriber having now fully ecuipped his new and extensive Livery Stabls with a supply of superior Horses and Carriiges, is prepared to furnish first class LIVERY RIGS On Moderate Terms. C. MOKENZLIE. Port Perry, Aug. 6, 1873 KETnond I 1ST OF DIVISION COURTS 4 AN IDYLE OF ICE-CREAM. HOW THE GIRL ABSORBED COUNTLESS BAUCERS AND BANKRUPT HER BEAU, It was wild midnight. The tame midnight was off watch and had gone to bed three hours before. A storm brooded over the eastern heavens, It was a thorough bred brood storm. Hop-brewed for it was coming from the yeast. Hawk eye Creck was rolling tumultously in it sandy bed. Bugs, propably. Or it might have been nervousness. A lithe forth cowered at the garden gate. Many a manly form has been cowered at Just such gates,ever since summer nights and gnats, beauty, love and June bugs were invented. 'He does not. come,' she murmur- ed softly, as sho peered into the darkness. 'lcannot see him. I will call him.' She was wrong. Ifshe couldn't see him, she certainly couldn't call him with the same hand. A manly step came scraping down the sidewalk? Tt was Desmond. She threw open the gate, and the next instant he clasped in his great strong arms twenty-seven yards of foulard, three yards of ruching, seven dozen Breton buttons and a propandour bustle as big as a dog- house. It was all his own. "All is lost," he exclaimed, 'Con- stance de Belvidere, the Russi- ans have crossed the Balkins, We must fly. Constance was a noble girl, She only said, 'Whether shall we fly 2' He wanted to fly to some desert isle, but she submitted an amedment providing that they should fly to the ice-cream saloon. They flew. In the crowed saloon, where the soft light fell upon fair women and braye men, and the insects of the summer night fell in the ice cream freezer. They spoke no word. be- of shim- When two sentiment human ings are engulphing spoonfuls corn-starch and milk, language is a mockery. and eggs At length Desmond broke the ten- der silence. Ile said : ¢ More, dearest ?' She smiled and bowed her lovely head but did not speak. She too full for utterance, was Desmond gloomily ordered more. And more when it was done. And a supplement to that And an adden- da to that. And an exhibit to that. Gloom sat enthroned upon his t brow. Constance saw it. She said : 'What is it, dearest?' IIe spake not, but sighed. heart like a knife. ¢ Desmond,' she said, ¢ you ure not tired of me, darling ?' ¢By heaven, no,' he said, and then he looked (and thought) unutterable things. celestial intelligence. 'I see,' she said, tapping the empty plate with her soon 'Too cold. Signed, C. Morbus.' He denied it bitterly, and bade her remain where she was while he set- tled with the man. She, guided by the unerring in- jo of her sex, peeped through the curtains of the saloon. She saw her Desmond holding earnest conver- sation with the man. Sbe saw the man shake his head resolutely In answer to Desmond's pleading looks and appealing gestures. She saw him lock the door, take out the key, put it in his pocket, and lean up against the door. Sho saw her own Desmond draw from his own pocket and pile upon the counter a pearl. handled pocket-knife, six nickles, four groen postage stamps, a watch key, two lead pencils, # memoran- dum book, a theatre ticket (of the variety denomination), a pocket comb, an ivory toothpick, a shirt stud, ono sleeve button, a photo- graph of herself, package of trix, two street car checks, a card with a fun- ny (wicked) story on it, a silk hand kerchief and a pair of gloves. And then she knew that Dosmond was a bankrupt, and when the man swept the assets of the concern into FOR THE drawer and opened the door she County of Ontario sobbed convulsively: 'And wa For the year ? | mine extravagance which hath did his thing.' 18 : : 3 3 7 v They did not talk much on their BEE 3! n|2lslz lo | way home. Once she asked him if Si 8 2 ER 25 |S (8 | ho was rich, and he only said : 1 RE HEE 'Enormously.' of Cont 8 RBI Such is i | ACTE | T -- GH Am "| The woman who neglects hér ha- * Ymior Fudge. band's shirt front is not the wife © Whitby, Dec 27,1876, bis bosom, 1 Her brow lighted up with a ray of |! Open Back Shirts. There were a sleepy lot on the four o'clock car going down Michi- gan Avenue yesterday. The day was hot, the dust thick, and only one mau; and he beyond the prime of life, opened his eyes as a woman crowded in, with a long paper-box under her arm. His eyes opened a little more as she sat down near him and presently they widened to their extent as he read the label on the box :--'One dozen open-back shirts.' He glanced from the box to the fe- male and back, and groaned out 'Land o'love | but what will come next ?' She looked around at him as if she feared that a case of colic would come next, and he brightened up; a little and said : 'Well, I've worn, em for a year, and I know they are handy and re- linble. If my daughters want to get half a-dozen a piece I shan't cry over it.' 'Were you speaking to me ?' she asked, after seeing that no one else seemed interested. 'I sorter was and sorter wasn't,' he replied as he worked a faint smile to his 'face. 'I was saying that 1ts wonderful how much the in- ventive genius of this country has done for us on the shirt qlestion. She hitched away a little. 'Twenty years ago,' he. mused, as he hitched after her, 'if any man had told me that the dormant genius of this country would soon rouse up land invent a button-behind shirt I'd looked upon him as crazy. But dormant genius was all O. K. She roused, she invented, and I've got one o' them very shirts on.' The look he gave him ought to have torn him all to pieces, but it didn't. 'One year ago,' he calmly resum- ed, if anybody had told me that the gentler sex would svon demand open- back shirts I'd have gone a fishing and never returned. But the epoch has hove in *sight--she's right here." I can recommend them as boss.' 'Who are you talking to, sir? | she demanded in an awful voice. | "To you, madam. I was saying that if I wear 'om there is no reason why you shouldn't. | 'Lappeal to these passengers!' she excitedly exclaimed. 'So do I,' he answered. 'Every- body in this car with a button-be- hind shirt on will please stand up until I can count noses.' was in a | The old man stood up. He all alone. He looked around (sorrowful way, and said : "The noses have it and the resol A dreadful guspicion stabbed her ution is laid on the table. However | I'll stick to mine, and [ don't be- lieve this woman here will go back on her dozen till she has given 'em a {air show. Which side of the neck do they button on, madam ?' | The yells that followed brought in he driver. The old man was point led out as a drunkard and a woman | ealich and the driver was feeling | | | | for his neck - when the astonished man cried outg" 'Who's drank | Who insulted any- body ?° 'He kept talking about shirts!' screamed the woman with the box. 'And you've vot a full box I" shout. ed the man. 'I haint ve! She turned saw the label for She grew red, then white, and there wax un awful silence. Ripping off the cover she exhibited a bo't of mos- quito netling nestled away in the box. Nay, she held it up, and even shnok it at the cld man. Hesmiled softly.nodded his head a dozen times and blandly said : 'Correct, Madam--T tumble to it. --That doesn't look like a dozen bucton.behind shirts, and I'm griev- ed if | offended. Put it back, mad- am; forget that you ever saw me, and wear any kind you are a mind to! - and time. rst the ---------- A Brute. of a Massachustes man the other night, awaking from his slumbers. 'Wadder yon want ?' he growled. 'Oh, lister. George! hear something.' 'Lemme alone, Maria. krow Ido. 'What does she sound like?' icking.' 'It's the bed ticking,' 'egan to snore. ther. _ 'George | George I' said the wife I'm sure | 'But I do hear something ; I 'George, it sounds like a wateh reaponded he brute, and then turned over and Maria has goné home to her mo- TARIOC OBSERV { WHOLE NO. 1028 ' Will you do something to oblige me ?' shyly asked a beautiful young woman of a timid gentleman, whose acquaintance she had just made at a mall social gathering on West Adams street the other evening. ' Anything that [can do in honor, miss,' he replied blushingly. ' Well," said sho 'coineinto the back parlor, where it is dark and sit on the sofa with me, and let me rest my head upcn your shoulder, and you pretend to whisper in my ear, only don't blow because it tickles, and I can't laugh, tor this new dr ss is very tight; and when anybody looks you can draw your arm away --I forgot to say I wished you to put it round my waist--I'll pretend to blush.' 'But, my gracious, honored miss,' stammered the young man, after hastily dividing 4 into 1878, and finding that it wasn't leap year; 'my goodness, before all these people-- and Iam already engaged - and your father must weigh y 'Hush, I know what [ am up to,' replied the artless girl. 'Tam en. gaged, too, to that young man talk- ing to the waxen faced thing" with romedody else's hair over there. I want to stir him up--to bring him down to business--make him come up to his milk, that's all.' The young man said that a load had been lifted from his bosom, and aided ber to the best of his ability; so well, indeed, that in three: quarters of an hour the true betroth. ed got his girl into the library, demanded an explanation of her shameful conduct, was softend by tears called himself a brute, asked if she could ever forgive him, and pro- mised to behave better in future.-- And how did the young girl reward the young man who had helped her to her happiness? Why she never | said a word to him all the evening; lin fact never mentioned bim, except Ito say to her reconciled lover, 'Alon- zo, could you have been so stupid to think 1 could see anything to ad- mire in such » mutten=headed clam as that?" O, woman, in hours of onse. ---- A Queer Man. Amos Fish,oneof the queerest men in Albany, N. Y., died on Monday, leaving an estate of $50,000 to char- itable institutions, and cutting off his wife with a dollar a day. In de. scribing manner of life to a triend he once said : 'I buy a shank of meat from the butcher, which cost me ten cents. My wife makes enough soup from this to do us for one moal then the meat cut from it afterward makes two more meals, orone days food for ten cents. 1 {split the boneand get the marrow for cooking purposes, and my wife finds sufficient fuel in the bone itself todo considerable cooking. Then in an iron box [save the ashe, which I use for manuring a few plants that Yet when his realize tor me six cents euch,' extra taxes were put upon his propeity, he rarely if ever demanded more rent from the tenants than what they had been paying -- He married a widow who had two children and a little money He offered to borrow the money and allow her seven per cent, -- His wife accepted the proposition and he was in charge of the property a long time. Oue day he forced a settlement with her, bringing in a bill for her own and the children's board and leaving her in debt to him, a A Test Case. A day or two ago a citizen living on the river road called at the post office to mail « package. He had four cents worth of stamps on it, but when weighed it was found to lack two cents, «I'll not pay it. Four is plenty,' he blustered. 'I know what itis worth to carry packages as well as the government oes." + The postal law regulutcs these matters, observed the clerk «Then I'll regulate the postal law, I will I! The clerk was wondering how it could be done, when the man continued : * You see this package ?' "Yes, Sir.' « With four cents on it' Well, I'm going to mail it. Ifit reaches Chicago, all right : if it dosn't I'll come around and haul you through the window and break fifty of your tibs, and twist you twice around that door.' V/hy His Dog Bit Bim. About a week ago we heard one of our leading citizens bragging about his watch d He went onto say that Nero was & splendid watch dog ; that he never would even growl at a<hild and at nighthe would tear anyone to pieces he found about the premises. bite you some night when you come home late.' « Not 4 bit of it ; he is too intelligent. He knows my step as soon as I put my foot'on the gallery. Why I wouldn't take $300 dollars for that dog. He is the most reli- able dog in San Antonio.' ' ARETITETER How a Chicago Girl Fixed Him. versation took place, one « Ain't you afraid we asked, that he will | motning early wo met a policeman leading this identical dog out into the suburbs, 4 . ¢ What are you doing with Major Jories' dog ?" we want to know. ' "He gave him to me to take him out and shoot him I' 3 ¢ What for?" we asked in amazement. Because he tackled the Major last night on his coming home, and bit him in thirz teen different places und he will not be down town for a week.' But I heard the Major say thejdog was in« telligent; and that he knew his step and wouldn't bite him no way be could fix it that he wouldn't take §500 for the animal,' 'The dog ain't to blame for it,' said the policeman gazing sadly at poor Nero, its the Major's own fault.' * How's that?' we inquired. Well,' responded the policeman, slowly, The dog did know bis step and never even growled at him before, but last night, for the first time wince he has had the dog, the Major came home three hours earlier thar usual, and perfectly sober, and somehow his step wasdiffierent from what the dog was used to ; he didn't tangle up his legs as much as common, and the dog was fooled by it, took him for a perfect stranger and bounced him. The dog ain't to blame ; he missed the smell of whiskey, he didn't hear the Major whoop and cué aad fall down in the cellar as he always does when he comes home, so Nero kept on bitin' the Major in fresh places until the family interfered.' 'Come on, Nero! andthe sad funeral cortege resumed the line of march for the bush, No Occasion for "Alarm. On Friday night one of the many families which bad perticipated in the Tabernacle excursion to Lake Minnetonk was startled by repeated shricks proceeding from the room occupied by the servant giri. Ag it bappened, she had inviteda particular friend to stop with her on that particular niglf and while one was quiet enough to get up a commotion ina quite neighborhood, the united efforts of the two were enough to loosen the rafters, and send ice into every blood vessel about the house. The head of the family, however,determined to defend his premises and help even at the risk of his life and seizing such firearms as were witha in reach he rushed for the servant's room in the expectation of meeting or overhauling some stalwart thief or dangerous burglar.-- Arriving at the door which shutin the agony, the gentleman cried out ; 'Open the door, quick! I am here and will help you,' The shricks died away all at once, and after the lapse of a few minutes, his howling hand maiden exclaimed : ¢ Goaway | go away! it's nothing but a June-bug crawling down my back.' Then the intrepid citizen shouldered hig gun and went back to bed, leaving the in- cident to deffuse itsclf gradually over the region adjacent to the corner of Fourth Avenue South and Eight Street. ------ 'The woman soldiers of Dahomey wear boots, cliew tobacco ans swear: If these women were to add whisky drinking find sitting on store boxes and discussing polities to their other accomplishment, man would soon become a superfluous animal in Dahomey. ee 1t is estimated that coffee, both beans and' leaves, are drunk by sixty millions of the human amily. Tea ofall kinds is used by five hundred mi'lions, and opium by four hundred millions ; alcoho!y in its various forms, by five hundred millions of the hu« man 1ace. Tobacco is probably used by seven or eight hundred millions, These startling facts indicate a large proportion of the race ces that are either stimu- The work of the physi ologist, in the future, will be to determine the true place iu nature of these substances and indicate where their use ends, aud abuse begins, using some substai lants or narcotics. A very careful experiment intended to test he speed of carrior-pigeons was tried lately. The bird one cf the homing pigeons, knewn as "Belgian voyagers," was tossed through the window of a railway carriage as the ex-- press train with the Continental rwils left the Admirality pier at Dover, The train had been timed to travel at 60 miles an hour but the bied roached its home in Canuou 86, twenty minutes before the train. As it could only have shortenea the distance by six miles, it had travelled at a speed of 75 miles an hour. The bird, when released from the railwav carriage, took nearly half a minute to discover its bearings, ris ing an altitude of nalt a mile before it set off un its course--Dbehaving in fact, exactly as it would if it knew that by rising in the air it could see its home in London, The wind was westerly, and the bird carried an urgent cont' munication from the French police, eee San Fraocisco is to have the first woman's hotel. A fine new five story brick building has been built and furnished by the munifi- cence of a private gentleman, who put it into' the hunds of business managers; on the sole condition that it shall "be so conducted as to' carry out the purpose of its estalishment and pay running expenses." Its circular in forms us that the purpose is to bave® "first class house of moderate expense for respects able women of this city," and for those "living in the country and on the Paciffé coast whose duties, pleasures, or husiness' may lead them to visit the citys It is to bo managed Dy a lady of experience. 3 About three days after the foregoing con- |