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SATURDAY, APRIL 25, 1923 cam Edit TRY, TRY AGAIN Two Scots were fishing, but were to arrest you new at the game. ¢ out of there." "Got a bite yet, Jock?" : "Naw," said Jock, "I don't be- lieve my worm's half trying." -Pitt, Panther. 1 The famous detective arriv , Sn, the scene of the crime. > " "ke cried. DOG GONE}! He more serious than I thought" Ga. Tech. Yellow Jacket. window has been broken on "This is "Did you hear that Jones was asked to leave college for cribbing?" | ~ "No. Was he?" started to blow his laundry ticket fell out of his handkerchief." sides" --Ski-U-Mah (Minnegota). ny of his customers." nose 2 U. Dirge. --Rulgers Chanticleer. TIME TO LEAVE Lecturer--"Allow me, I close, to repeat the words of Webster," Hayseed (to sakes, Maria, let's get here. He's a-goin® to on the dictionary," | --Middlebury Blue Baboon. dead Who never to himself hath As he stubbed his toe against the bed-- 3332113 passa sess ~--Middleburg Blue First Swde: "Boy, ain't got enuf to buy dinners for a fire- fly." Second Stude: i on me, fella'. 1 Fare othing 'jack' to\buy oats for a night- mare." --Nebraska Awgwon. FAMOUS LAST WORDS Prof.: Mr. before immortal wife)~"Land out o start In El \\_§ TN! Sey Ribbon. I'm sure money NL NIT y 1 ITI Victim: They musta beén: "Gosh all hemlock!" ~W ashingtop Columns. He: "I've been listening to a pat- ent medicine man talk over therg on the corner, and he ou aa he hae . never had a word of complaint from ". "Yes. He was taking a , Chinese exam and when he. That only shows one thing-- 'Dead men tell no tales' *--Wash, . ed by Cop on Shore: "I'm going Tucs of 6 wedding yesternight, you come da A young man sat sedately; He answered me, "Not lately." . --Lehigh Burr. red af ~--Carnegie Tech. Puppet. The both in the finger bowl?" over my pocket." ---West Virginia Moonshine. Theme With Variations "Without what?!" "Without food." "Give her the door-jamb." --Jester. Professor: "What do vou mean i Are you in by such insolence? charge of the class or am 17" Stude (humbly) : not in charge, sir." Professor: "Very well, if you're I asked hsm if he kissed the bride, "Yon poor ham. What do you mean by washing the silverware "I'm not going to get egg all "Milord, the woman waits with. "I know I'm ~ Prof.: "Mr. Jones, wake the gentleman who sits next to you." Jones: "What for? You put him to sleep." --Lekigh ®urr. The new night watchman at the Observatory was watching someone using the big telescope. Just then a star fell. "Begorra," he said to himself, "that fella sure is a crack shot." . ~Virginia Reel. RARE ' She took owt the bottle And shook her head, "I hate to open The thing," she said. "It came all the way From far-off France. It's labeled and sealed Goud stuff--at a glance, Oh, what shall I do? It'll go so soon." So she put it away-- Thet rare perfume, y --Calif.,, Pelion. Meow! for hair like mine? ntercollegiate 1925 JOHN DILLE CO. Two old maids were plannin for the holi- days. said the one, "would ak stoeki hold all ou' rist- --Punch Bowl (U. of Pa.) Captains ~-- "See that mas oa the bridge ve miles away!" "Ay ay. ir." "Captain -- "Let shot off a pistol outside his hguse on Christ- mas Eve and then came in and told the Pelican (Calif.) him have a twelve. inch in bis eye." Genner --" "Which eye, alet™ ~--Dartmouts Jack-o-Lantern A LAD "N' 'S LAMP ~Buffalo Bison, wit' yer plus fours and me wit' my wide pants -- dem collitch fellers aint got nuttin' on us." She of the Auburn Tresses--What would you give Cattish--I dunno dear, what did you give for it? --~Columns (U. of Wash.) THE PAST MAS. TER Are you dog "y Sawedoff: "Say kid, you -N| orthwestern Purple Parrot. English Tommy-- Weil, I'll wager a nd on this is Darkey (holddag four: aces) ~--Ah dunno too much 'bout yo' Eag- lish money, bat I'll bump yo' a couple not in charge, then dow't iry to act like a concerted ass." --Will:ams Pur- Cow. ple Prof.--"If the president, i ident, and all the members of "the. sabinet died, w ho w ould offici- ate?" --Okla. Whirlwind, I'm going to twrm you doum, she $036; He had an awful fright. But she didn't mean what he thought she meant, For she meant ®the parlor light. ~Kans. Aggie Broum Bull. "Mister; you talk?" way sister said for word: ~--Reel (U. of Va.) thing "Why, too really, can't New Caller--*"Certainly, my boy; why do you ask?" = L. J. (disappointed) -- "3 were i to the rule. --Carnegie Tech. Puppet. of tons. Purple Cow (Williams. ) OUR FAR WESTERN JOKE Simple--="What makes your cook so bow-leg- ged?" Ton -- "He that way from riding the ranges." Stanford Chgpperal, First Shywriter == "Hello, Bill, ya still with the Lutky Strike people?" , gotta easier Im writia® or Lux. ~Virginia Reel. Two Jews were ship- wrecked and after drifting several days in a small boat, Goldberg said to Lewis: "Look, Look! I see a * eail" Lewis swered: the use? have no ples." --Chanticleer (Rutgers), an- "Vat's We sam- ladies! od. "Just 'give me 2 girl for utes," she'll with a past." --. Punch Bowl, Ding--What did your wife soy last night when you wch a Come home! with the Dong--The darling never said T. Alger going to have those two front a ow.~Penn. State Froth, a word. And I wes att teeth pulled out anys He--That ingo Bay. ye She--How did Jou find the water He--Easy, it. was oll around. - ° --U. S.N. A. Log. Bum -- Dvd never had no luck. I've ald ways been lefy out in the colds Priest --Coure e, = fri Yo op wi ange in the next world, --Tiged (Princeton) | min, afternoon we went in swimming in Flo "an dame five said be, be a of Penn ii HE t { ger i il 8 2 3 i ir 1, i X i . ! Stirring Tales of Canada's Early Days Brave, Unselfish Deeds Earned for. Maison neuve Place in Heroes' Roll. Of all the gallant gentlemen of nce who laid the foundations of our ntry and whose names are a glory our history, none possessed a finer, ore Christian character than Paul de Chomedey, Sieur de Maisonneuve. ounder ofthat little mission outpost in. the heart of heathendom and sav- pery; which has become the greatest in Canada, fearless protector of infancy, arbiter of its daily life and stiny for a quarter of a century, in life-time he was denied all recogni- n of bis masterly activity and, in the after suffering undeserved hum an at the hands of the Governor of 2 was ignominiously dismissed jut reward save his own sure con- ness of work well done anda life Ville-Marie, "alternatively bearing mame Montreal which © Jacques ier had fastened upon the spot, passed through its troublous garly s and was firmly established, Any itant of the place would have iid you that its marvellous sutvival amid the. dangers which had so often ed to overwhelm it was due to lo¥ing care of its patron, the Bles- Virgin Mary, {n whose honour this missionary settlement in the wilder- ness had been made, and to the serene courage of her devoted knight, the Sieur de Maisonneuve. The latter, as Governor from the beginning, had re- gulated each daily detail of defence and colonization, had watched with more than fatherly solicitude over the af. fairs of his struggling colonists, had generously spent his own means in their behalf and, with that practical wisdom which was united in him with boldness and force of personality, had succeeded in a hazardous enterprise ili in which most others would have fail- In 1663 the King, the Great Louis XIV, took the government of Canada from the hands of the fur company which had for thirty-six years ex- ploited the colony. The civil wars were over at home; the domination of the mighty Cardinal Mazarin had end. ed with his death; Louis was gather- ing into his own hands all the scat- tered reins of government, never again to allow them to escape. Montreal had from its foundation in 1642 enjoyed practical independence. The whole island of Montreal had been granted by the King as a feudal estate to the Company of Montreal, a mis- sionary society in France whose sole 'jobject was the planting of an of the faith in the very midst of hea- .{thendom, of rooting it with colonists in the soil so that it might endure, and Jof eventually SfwWas gathering around TR on of the whose souls it their intention to save. It di enter into their calculati A. Ayr of Montreal. Mainsonneuve endured insult and ealumny and unwarranted abrogation of his authority with meek 'submission. - It was his practice to set an example of instant obedience to a superior officer and his principles for- bade him to seek satisfaction for per- sonal slights. When, however, the prerogatives' of his lords, the Com- pany of Montreal, were assailed, he was prompt to move for redress, and he won his points. In 1665 there came with pomp to Canada the Marquis de Tracey, newly appointed Lieutenant-General of the King throughout the two Americas; backed by a regiment of veterans, the famous Carignan-Salieres, to settle the Iroquois, the scourge of the valley of the St. Lawrence, and to reorganize the government. Apostle of his royal master's increasingly-prevailing abso- lutism, the old general, who had fought that master's battles all over Europe as friend and assistant of the great Turenne, could ill brook the unsubor- dinated self-sufficiency of a rough backwoods fortress settlement of less than five hundred people, tyen though that independence derived from the King himself by charter. Everything must be centralized at Quebec. More- over, the Marquis came prejudiced against the Sieur de Maisonneuve. His mind had beed poisoned by the lat. ter's enemies, some of the former ad- ministrators of the country who had failed to extend their personal autho- rity oger Montreal. One of the first acts of the powerful Lieutenant-Gen- eral was summarily to dismiss the faith ful Governor of Montreal. He ordered him to return at once to France as be- ing incapable of maintaining the rank and appointment of Governgr which he held. Then, realizing that this act cant post in the following casuistical Wheezy Chest Colds' Subdued Over Night Trained Nurse Tells How Colds Are Quickly Broken Up NERVILINE A Home Necessity Speaking of valuable Home reme- dies that every mother should always keep on hand, Nurse Carrington says: "I haven't met any preparation more dependable than 'Nerviline.' It is the ideal liniment; every drop rubs in--it is absorbed quickly, eases and relieves congestion in a short time. For chest colds, pain in the side, sti neck, earache and toothache, I have found Nerviline invaluable. In treat- ing the m!nor ills that arise in every home, nothing is. more efficient than Nerviline." For nearly fifty years Nerviline has been a household article in thousands ot Canadian homes. Get a 36¢. bottle 0-day. words: "Having granted permission to M. de Maisopneuve, Governor of Montreal, to journey to France on pri- vate business, we are convinced that we could make no worthier choice than of the Sieur Dupuis to command in his absence, and for as long as we shall judge right and fitting," The citizens of Montreal, surprised and angry, dared utter no word in the face of vice-regal authority. They could scarcely believe that such gross injustice could be done in the name of their gracious Sovereign. Maisonneuve obediently departed forthwith. He knew himself the victim of a court in trigue, but it was far from his nature to answer intrigue with counter-intri- gue, even if he had been able. But he held his head high. He had wrought a great work. His hands were clean. He left the country far poorer than he had cepted. Almost immediately, however, he turned this over to a needy friend to whom it was Maisonneuve's_death in 1676. From 1665 he lived obscurely with his faithful servitor, Louis Frin, ina little second-floor appartment in the Faubourg Saint-Victor in Paris. Here he was visited occasionally by devoted friends from Canada; whom he enter- tained to the limit of his resources. He himself would answer their knock at the door, himself would run across to the corner wine-shop for a bottle of welcome, and it 'seemed to his friends that he waited on his feeble servitor. far more than he was waited on by him. In the back-yard of the apart- ment-house he had had built a com- fortable log cabin in the . Canadian manner, and furnished it with memen- tos of the country where his liie-work had been done and where his heart re- mained. It was here that his guests were lodged. On September 10th, 1676 Maison- neuve was buried from the church of the Fathers of the Christian Doctrine in the Faubourg Saint-Victor. There is no trace of his tomb but his monu. ment is Montreal in Canada. "Man clothed with a little brief au. thority Doth play such tricks before high heaven As make the angels weep." For all his magnificence the Mar- quis de Tracy is but a little incident in Canada's story and is hardly remem- bered at all in the land of hig birth. But the name of Maisonneuve, that brave unselfish soul, who, to the great Vice-Roy was merely a retired army officer in command of a petty up-coun- try station, takes rank er among the first in the roll of Canada's heroes. "SEVEN SENTENCE SERMONS a hing ia pontidl is cx ample; we put others straight by walk- ing straight ourselves--Anon. The real tragedy of life is not in be- ing limited to one talent, but in the erie loyally paid until NEITHER TOO OLD NOR TOO YOUNG Photo shows Lawrence Boersch, four, and Lorenzo Dow Grace, 112, who will be baptized along with 300 others, at St, Paul's Church, Atlanta, Ga. "end failure to use the one talent.--Edgar | are yet speaking I will hear.--Isa. 65:24, W. Work. Thou art as much His care as if beside Nor man nor angel lived in heaven or | earth; Thus sunbeams pour alike their golden Every task, however simple, sets the soul that does it free; Every deed of love ard mercy done to ; men is done to me. Van To light up worlds, or wake an insect's Dylie. mirth.--Keble. A prayer in its simplest definition is merely a wish turned Godward. --phil. There has never yet been a man in lips Brooks. our history who led a life of ease, whose name is worth i A stunning coat is made of India Roosevelt. . gingham in yellow, green and red plaid, and it has reverses and a Yin. It shall come io pis that before they call I will answer; and while