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"SCHOOLS OPEN NEXT WEEK SCHOOL SUPPLIES Scribblers, Exercise Books, Note Books, Slates, Water Colors, Chalk and Wax Crayons, Pencils and Pens. . Text Books, authorized and recommend- © ed for Public Schools and Collegiate Insti- * 3 { R. Uglow & Co. 1! = EEE, SEPTEMBER WEDDINGS You will have no trouble in selecting a Wedding Gift whether it be in Silverware, China or Glass As our stock is large and well assorted, and priced to suit every purse. Our invitation to look over our stock carries no ob- ligation to buy. Kinnear & d'Esterre JEWELLERS 168 PRINCESS ST. Dr. Waugh DENTIST A BRICK, STONE, PLASTERING AND TILE SETTING DOUGLAS & McILQUHAM CONTRACTORS JOBBING WORK A SPECIALTY. PHONES 3367¥-~933W. - 400 ALBERT STREET | iF RENCH CHINA | 3 Re a A cat-fish is a fish, I know; A cat-bird is a bird; A cat-tail is a fuzzy plant; Now 4sn"t it absurd? A dog-star is a planet bright; A dog-wood is a tree; But doggone all these cats and dogs, They don't seem right to me. -C, 8. C. A se I cannot sleep at night of thinking Of my girl, my love, my rose; Overhead the stars are winking-- With, or at me, Heaven knows! --S. H. ee os oo A politician, when he eats, Prefers a single course; A beaker of banana oil And lots of APPLE-SAUCE! --G. 8. C, » The highest hill can go so far-- It cannot reach a single star, And yet a hill does not complain Because it climbed itself in vain. ---8. H. * . Little drops of water, Little drips of rye, Used to make a high-ball, In the days gone by. --G. 8. C. Ask His Wife, "No man is perfect," the Professor. "Well, at least no married man is!" chuckled the Cymic. --Arthur Davidson remarked She Lost Out. It was drawing near the end of the season, and the annual contest for bathing beauties was under way. The mayor, looking for men who were qualified to act as judges, ask- ed a handsome, young bachelor if he would serve. "Not on your life!" the bachelor exclaimed. "I was one of the judges in last year's contest, and my best girl tried for a prize. She hasn't spoken to me since." The Boomerang. She: "I married you because I thought you had money!" He: "I married you just simply to show people that I could!" ~--M. J. Darnaby Balance, Jeck: "Yee, I had a little balance fn the bank, but I got engaged two months ago, and now--" Maud: "Ah. Love make the world go round?" Jack: "Yes. But I didn't think #t would go round so fast as to make me lose my balance." ~G. Marshman m------ The Guarantee. "I believe," sald the customer to the merchant, "that you said that anything I got from your store that wasa't satisfactory could be return- "Very well," continued the cust- S| omer, "the bill you sent me last "Sint 1@leived a phipment of F Ch Die direct from Ly where all good F vench China comes from. : Our open stock patterns are now com- plete; and we advise our many "open stock customers" to match up their dinnerware atonce, and avoid any disappointments. Ie will be to the advantage of those not month is coming back to you hy the afternoon mail." -E. M. Curtis Just Like a Woman. She had been convicted and con- demned to die by hanging. Many be- leved in her innocence, but when the fateful day came no pardon had arrived. There was no hope, and the hours flew by until the fatal time came. She was led to the galiows and the noose was adjusted about her graceful neck. She was calm and composed. "Is there anything you wish to say before the trap is sprung?" ask- ed the executioner. There were tears in his geyes--he too believed her | Kane. ghiltless of the crime. "Yes," she Jnurmuted. AL the end we pour she was still talking and she was only inter nr " rupted by the arrival of the par- ~Leo Peck three, with the desirability of retiring. "When mother was a little girl» she said, "grandmother didn't let her stay up till eight o'clock" until she was eight years old." "Now wasn't that a dirty shamel*™ sald Bobbie. --Dorothy Boller Darling, you are growing old; Silver threads among the gold. In your boy-cut I behold. Lay on MacDuff And-- "Mike, there's a new writer from the ould sod that's makin' a name fer himself, dye mind," said Denny, lighting his pipe. "How's that, Denny?" "Begob, me bye, Jawn, is takin' pairt in a play over at the school an' he's spoutin' the worrrds all over the place. I dunno the name of the two fisted devil that wrote it, but he might of been from Cone- marra, fer the bye kapes shoutin'; 'Lay on, Misther Duffy, an' dom the man that stops furrst."" -~E. BE. Harriman The stage manager's perpetual dessert: Peaches and Cream. Readers are requested to contri- bute. All humor: epigrams (or humorous t.ottoes), Jo. anec- dotes, poetry, burlesque eatirea, and brignt sayings of children, must be original and unpublished. Ac- cepted material will be paid for at oo $1.00 to $10.00 per contribution; from 2c. to $1.00 poy' line for poetry according to the act and value of the contribution, as determined by the Editor of "The Fun Shop. All manuscripts must be wiitten on one side of the paper only, should bear name of this newspaper, and should be addressed to fun _ Bhop gus uarters, 110 West 40th Street, New York City. Unaceepted contri- butions cannot be return GANANOQUE Aug. 30.--Mayor and Mrs. Wil- son have returned from a motor trip to Ottawa. While there Mr. and Mrs. Wilson were at the Chateau. Miss Victoria Sullivan of Ot- tawa is visiting her mother for a couple of weeks. Mrs. M. Ryan of Kingston is the guest of Mrs. Osie Ledger. Johan Smith is spending days in Ottawa. W. T. Sampson is in Oshawa. Miss Hyacinthe . Sophie leaves tomorrow for Syracuse and Roches- ter, N.Y., and will be gone about two weeks. Miss Alma Sinclair was with friends in Brockville on Thursday. Mr. and Mrs. Harold Valleau, who have been on an extemded trip through Quebec province are ex- pected home tomorrow, While away Mr. and Mrs. Valleau took the boat trip down the Saguenay. A large number from Kingston and other outside points are expect- ed in Ganamogue on Labor Day for the garden party which is being held at the Ganamogque Inn by St. John's church: W. Wallace Jones left last even- ing to spend the week-end with; friends in Orillia. The dance of the Canoe Thursday evening was the successful affair, and many noticed from outside points. Mrs. Jack McLellan and children, who have been spending the sum- mer with Mrs. J. B. Mooney, Charles street, are returning to their home in Montreal, to-day. Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Dupuis (formerly Miss Mayne Brennan), Montreal are arriving dn town to- day, and will be guests of Mr, and Mrs. M. Brennan for a short time. Messrs. Patterson, Shaver, O'- Reilly and Gardiner of Brockville were among those in town for the Canoe Club dance. Measrs. Ted Steacy, Leslie Smith, 'Waiter Campion, Leo DuMoulin and Paul Cunningham motored down from Kingston Thursday evening for the Canoe Club dance. Mrs. Walllam Corboy, Mrs. Wil- liam Wing and daughters are in Kingston, guests of Mrs. James a few Chub usual were Miss Nevada Best of Kingston, was in town on Thursday and at- i the Canoe Club dance. Mrs. W. 8B. Petch and son Fred- erick, who have been in Carleton Place for some time, arrived in town yesterday and will spend a short time with Mrs. Frank Petch "before going om to their home in Walkerville. Miss Mary Gratton of Kingston was 'visiting friends in town this week. Miss Lottie Henderson of To- ronto 'has gone to Toronto and will remain over the holiday. Motor parties from Brockville for the Club dance included Misses Nora Valleau, Mary Breanan, The first act of the year has been played at the Grand Opera House during the past few weeks behind closed and locked doors. It was a full dress affair and plenty of make- up Was consumed in the presentation. The actors were painters and decor- ators and the play was the prepara- tion of the big show house for the coming season when some splendid attractions will be presented for the first time In this city and country to the Grand's crowds of patrons. All the woodwork throughout the place has been freshly cleaned and painted. The lobby and the portico and even the big electric sign have all received their share of attentiom In the aisles of the main floor and the balcony cork carpets are being laid and the decorative water color- ing of the walls and boxes have been cleaned and retouched. Curtains, velours and upholstery of all sorts have been taken out and thoroughly cleaned and next Thursday will come the Grand opening with "The First Year." Back in the dressing rooms exten- sive improvements have also been made, Running water has been pro- vided in each little dressing room and other appointments made much more acceptable entertainers. Ag already announced a big com- petition is under way for the five pairs of seats offered by thc Whig for this play to the five Kingston couples, nearest to a year married, who first present themselves at the Whig office on Tuesday morning next. One coupled tried for the special box seats for not having quarrelled during the year but as they entered the notary"s office to procure an affidavit one of those little arguments arose and they had not the nerve to face that gentleman, Who will win the box seats? T0 OPEN PICTON FAIR Lieutenant-Governor Accepts Invitation--Teacher Returns From South American Trip. Picton, Aug. 30.--F. W. Newman, vice-president of the Prince Edward Agricultural Society, has recelved a communication from the Lieutenant- Governor of Ontario in which he ac- cepts the invitation of the society to formally open the annual fair for 1924. Albert Rodway has bought Doney Thompson's property on Burns ave- nue, Mr. and Mrs. Thompson will take up pesidence in part of the house owned by their gon on Mary street east. Mr. and Mrs. Morley G. Kicks and family left by motor for thair home in Milwaukee after a visit with old friends in Prince Edward county. W. R. Williams, science teacher of Picton Collegiate Institute, has returned from a trip to Soulh Ame- rica and the West Indies. Mr. Wil- lilams succeeded in securing while away many interesting curios which will be of interest to future classes which are fortunate enough to come under his instruction. J. L. Ashley has taken his seat in the town council which was declar- ed vacant owing to the absence from town of Major BE. G. Hudgin. Dr. A. W. Heaslip was also nominated, but withdrew in favor of Mr. Ashley. Mr. and Mrs. M. B. Parks and family have returned from visiting friends in Kingston. Mrs. N. Vanalstine of Napanee is MAKES CORNS GO! No pain, no cutting, no plasters to press the sore spot. Putnam's Corn Extractor makes the corn go without pain. Special directions on each package tell you how it is dome. Takes out all the sting; it separates the corn from the good flesh, lifts it out root and branch. Refuse a sub- stitute and insist on Putnam's Pain- less Corn Extractor; it's guaranteed. 25c. at all dealers. for the travelling | One Dollar FRIDAY and SATURDAY 150 pairs Ladies' Patent and Kid Pumps, French Heels. All sizes 24 to 7. Regular $7.00 and $8.00. The best grades that are made. , _ 50 pairs Ladies' Patent Oxfords, French Heels. Sizes 4to 7. Regular $7.50. J & T. Bell make. ALL CLEARING AT ONE DOLLAR REED FURNITURE FOR THE HOME AT REID'S --ATTRACTIVE AND DURABLE Why not get ready for the warm weather that will soon be by taking advantage of our specially priced Reed Three Plece Rockers and Settees----covered in Cretonnes or Tapestries. Also full line of Porch and Lawn Furniture, Hammo Couches and JAMES REID Springs. THE LEADING UNDERTAKER. 'PHONE 147 FOR SERVICE. MAKE YOUR Have the Hotpoint Electric Goods in your home. We have everything you may need to bring comfort--Irons,' Toasters, Heaters, etc. HALLIDAY ELECTRIC CO. 'PHONE 94. WORK EASY CORNER KING AND PRINCESS STS, spehding a few days in Picton with her sister, Mrs. A. Green, who is {ll Mr. Earle Welsh and daughter, Alice, of Wilkesbarre, Pa., are visit- ing his parents, Mr, and Mrs. Tho- mas Welsh, Washburn street, 4 Mr. and Mrs, William Furlong of Downer's Grove, Ill, are guests of Mr. and Mrs. W. A. Crawford. Mr. and Mrs. William Tait, Fer- guson street, are spending this week fn Toronto. - Mr, and Mrs. J. W. Hambly with a party of friends are enjoying a water trip through the Trent Valley on their beautiful yacht, "The Noko- mis." Gordon Nichol is bolidayiig with his parents in Montreal. Mr. and Mrs, R. BE. Wright and) family have got nicely sellied in their new home on Johnson street. Miss Katie Skinkle who has been an employee of "The Fair" store for three years is severing her connes-. tion with that firm. Her fellow em- ployees presented her with a lovely gift of sliver and an address, appre- clative of her many sterling pod ties. . '4 | : a ---------- Business in second-hand ears is said to be slack at present. One| dealer statéd that he sold an old Gray-Dort last week for any dol- lars, : ; I i a