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atch Your Weight! DIET and HEALTH with KEY TO THE CALORIES By Lulu Hunt Peters, A.B, M.D., with twenty-one suggestive menus. a Monument, or having Letter- | ing done in cemetery SEE J. E.Mullen 857 Frontenac St., 'Phone 1417. DENTIST . 106 Wellington st. Phone 256. 1 SEPTEMBER . | WEDDINGS You will have no trouble in selecting a Wedding Gift whether it be in Silverware, China or Glass As our stock is large and well. assorted, and priced to suit every purse. Our invitation to look over our stock carries no ob- ligation to buy. Kinnear & d'Esterre JEWELLERS 168 PRINCESS ST. mme-------- BRICK, STONE, PLASTERING AND TILE SETTING DOUGLAS & McILQUHAM CONTRACTORS JOBBING WORK A SPECIALTY. ul PHONES 22677--s2sW. i ~ nan 400 ALBERT STREET FRENCH CHINA | Just received a shipment of French China Dinnerware, direct from Limoges, where all good French China comes from. . Our open stock patterns are now com- B' plete, and we advise our many "open stock customers" to match up their dinnerware 8 atonce, and avoid any disappointments. It will be to the advantage of those not yet started on these beautiful patterns to come and see them before deciding on their dinnerware, : + High grade goods at the lowest possible ¥ prices. ® THURSDAY, AUGUST 28th Watch our windows for bargains. M. REID \ The Matter, "Hey, there!" yelled Gap John- son, of Rumpus Ridge. "Dry up that racket and go to sleep! What in roaring, sizzling.torment is the matter with you little cusses, any- how?" "Runt brung a live frog to bed with him," howled another one of the children, "and the blame' thing won't keep still." An Expert. They had advertised for a man to do general clerical work, and the first applicant to answer the ad was a strapping six footer. The boss, who was doing the inter- viewing, asked him: "Are you good at figures?" "Well," the applicant answered, modestly, "I just gave up a position as Life Guard at a popular beach re- sort." --James M. Mathes. Baffled At Last, "Red" Mike was a safe cracker. In fact, he was considered, by his col- lgagues in the underworld and the police of a dozen cites, to be not one of, but the best and most artis- tic safe cracker roaming at large! There was nothing made (outside of a chilled steel vault) that "Red" couldn't open, quickly, and neatly. It was his proud boast that if he ever found a "tin can" which failed to yield to his manipulations, he'd retire from the profession! - De - This morning, "Red" was led away to a padded ceil, They found him in his own kitchen struggling to open a small tin of sardines with the "key" that came with it! Mrs. E. H, D. Too Risky. Bib: "Do you ever take your wife {to a prize fight?" Ray: "Not on your lite! She knows enough about scrapping now, without teaching her more." --Jack Faber. The Warm Canine. | The Hot Dog is a funny brute; | He wags no tall in gay salute, He smells like neither I'eke Hound And yet you know he is around. nor The Hairless Dogs of Mexico Are famed, 'tis true; but this you know, Whene'er your clutch He has a Skin You Love To Touch. hands a Hot Dog The Hot Dog breeds to beat the band; You'H find a litter at each stand, And for ten cents may have your choice By harking for His Master's volce. The Hot Dog is a lovesome pup, So dear you want to eat him up; But it your stomach isn't right He'll bark at you the livelong night! --Wallace M. Bayliss. _ "I cannot laugh at your joke," sald the sage. "Excuse it, please--I respect old age." On the Job. The Girl: "I would Hke to see something my size in a bathing suit." The Clerk (absently): "So would i" ~--Wilfred Hanna. He Was Just Skidding. Patron (entering red-front cigar store): "Pardon me, is this a chain store?" Clerk: "Yes, sir, what can I do for you?" Patron: "Give me two for my car. The wheels are slipping and skid- ding to beat the band." ~--Rodney Waldheim. Moon Madness. We went to market in the moon, My love and I together, Laughing a light and lilting tune, For life had slipped its tether. Aye, to the market place we went; And there we found so many Such wondrous things that, faith! we spent Youth's one and single penny! We bought a bag o' dreams, and oh The wild delight of this is; My love them cried, "There's naught, I know, To do but steal some kisses!™ ~--Ernest R. Moorefield. . Easy. Clarence, aged ten, had been 'working on some arithmelic prob- lems and asked me to look them over before 1 went to work. I told 1 wauld, if I'found the time, Hay Fever Treated Best He replied: "It won't take long, daddy. They're short division . --A. J. Stincel Speed. A young man was standing on «ue street corner the other day waiting for a street car. After fifteen min. utes of waiting, an old, bony mule, driven by a sleepy negro man and drawing a ramshackle wagon, ambled by. : "Uncle," shouted the young man. "you didn't see anything of a street car up the street, did you?" "Yas suh, yas sub," he replied, "it'll be here after while. I jest passed it 'bout five blocks back." : -----Nathan Gaston. Who Wins? First Music Girl Student: "I can hold 'la' for fifteem seconds." Second: "I can hold "ti' {or twen- ty seconds." Third: 'That's nothing. John he® 'mi' for three hours last night." --Samuel Frirdman. Readers are requested to contri bute. All humor: epi Cor humorous I.ottoes), {fo hey anec- dotes, poetry, burlesques, satires, and brignt sayings of children, must be original and unpublished. Ac- cepted material will be pald for at from $1.00 to $10.00 per contribution; from 25c. to $1.00 per line for poetry according to the character and value of the contribution, as determined by the Ed:.zor of "The Fun Shop." All manuscripts must be walitten on one side of the Raper only, should bear name of this newspaper, and should be addressed to #un Shop Headquarters, 110 West 40th Street, New York City. Unascepted contri- butions cannot be returned. GANANOQUE Aug. 28.--Messrs. Louis Reich- ert, Robert I. Miller and Mr. and Mrs. Sandstrom who have been holidaying at the American Canoe Association camp on Sugar Island, motored to Ottawa and have been at the Chateau for the past few days. They intend leaving for New York in a day or so. James B. Turner has purchased from the Britton estate that pro- perty extending from the Provin- ctal hotel to the Dier building. Mrs. W. F. LaQue and Miss Ge- nevieve Doherty left vesterday for Toronto and will be at the King Ed- ward until Saturday, when they are leaving for a short holiday at the Royal Muskoka. Miss Amanda O'- Regan of Oshawa will accompany Mrs. Laque and Miss Doherty. Miss Mildred Delaney and Mrs. A. McCrimmon have retuv.med from a motor trip to Ottawa and other points. David Wing of Toronto came down Tuesday evening and return- ed yesterday morning taking with him Masters Oliver and David Wing for a few days at the exhibition. Miss Edith McCammon, who has been summering on Tremont Park, left yesterday for Rrockville on a short visit before leaving for Medi- cine Hat, Alberta, where she has taken a school. Mrs. Gliddon of Ottawa is In town, the guest of her father, J. B. Turner. R. H. Morgan has arrived In town .from the Old Country to take charge of the organ, at Christ church, . Golf Club Notes, Sunday the 31st will close the two most successful months in the club's short history. The green fee receipts for July and August have been about double of 1923, and al- most daily new resident and non- resident members are being enroll- led. The course is showing great improvement, and a few days ago a rrominent 'semi-professional golf player from Texas, complimenting Wy Mullin, the professional, on the improved condition of the course, stated that holes Nos. 2, 6 and ® would do credit to any links arywhere. A special effort is now being made to further improve the greens and an entirely new bottle necked green is being built on No. 4. No. 3 is to be enlarged, and the greens committee are planning to purchase a tractor for use next sea- son. The generous ralus this sum- mer have helped the fairways won- derfully, and next year "winter rules" are to he abandoned. The extension of the club house is also proving a great convenience for the ladies, and the Wednesday after- noon tea-bridges are bacoming most popular. Was Found Guilty. Found guilty of stealing a silver black (ox valued a: $600, John J. Chorel. aged anr-six, of Renfrew, was rantenced to pay a fice of $300 asd esa's or spend ome month in jail by Magistrate Joynt in county rolice court. Ottawa. The theft was {rom the fox farm of Orville Coe, on July 12th. er an absence of six years. will remain indefinitely. THE DAILY BRITISH WHIG PUBLIC GIVES FIRST PLACE T0 CANADA In Regard to the Exhibits at Wembley, Says John Ballantyne. With City Solicitor T. J. Rigney back and John Ballantyne also re- turned from hig travels in the oid land, the city hall can go ahead with its autumn business without delay. Mr. Ballantyne, who returned om Tuesday night, takes a very special interest in the affairs in Ireland, his native land. He visited England and Scotland also but naturally paid more attention to his own native soil than to the other countries. He thinks that the trouble is mot all over in the Emerald Isle as yet. The Free State and the northern provinces are at loggerheads over their boundary and there seems to he but little hope of an early settlement. Conferences and meetings of all kinds have done little to solve the difficulty, and with each it seems a case of sticking to the first demand. In rural Ireland Mr. Ballantyne did not notice much change. In the cities there are unmistakable marks of the disturbances which have rav- aged the little country during the past few years, and the unusual sight of a double guard of fully armed po- lice during the day-light hours was another sign of the unrest. But in the quaint and old-fashioned little country villages life goes on the same as before, and but little atten- tion is paid to the trials and tribula- tions which occupy the people in the larger centres, At Wembley, Mr. Ballantyne said he found that the general opinion awarded Canada first place in the list of exhibitors, both in the way of buildings and the exhibits, He said that Wembley is a wonderful sight. During all their travels, Mr. and Mrs. Ballantyne did not run across any Kingstonians until the day of sailing for home when they saw Mrs. Anderson and her son at Liverpool. Coming into the St. Lawrence and before docking the Ballantyne party's ship was half an hour ahead of that on which Mr. Rigney came across, but Mr. and Mrs. Ballantyne came home via Ottawa and stayed over an odd day. Both Mr. and Mrs. Ballantyne en- joyed the trip immensely and have come back much refreshed. One not- able difference they noticed is that it {3 much warmer here than over the water. NOTE OF APPRECIATION. Mrs. Coolidge Writes a Letter To Dear Friend. New York, Aug. 27.--A letter which Mrs. Calvin Coolidge wrote to Mrs. Oliver Ingersoll of Brooklyn in response to a message al thy time of the death of Calvin Coolidge, Jr, has been made public by Mrs. In- gersoll: In giving the letter to the Associ- ated Press, Mrs. Ingersoll said she believed she was fulfilling Mrs. Cool- idge's desire to send a personal mes- sage of appreciation to each of the thousands of persons who sent their condolences to the White House. A task made physically impossible by the number of letters. Mrs. Coolidge expressed regret that she could not answer every let- ter, adding: "The little cards seem so cold in response to such warm ex- pressions of sympathy." Her letter to Mrs. Ingersoll, written from the White House on August 11, follows: "Thank you for your kind letter of sympathy. It is one of the com- paratively few letters laid aside from the many thousands for me to read. Somehow, I wanted to thank you my- gelf. It is a great regret to me that I cannot answer every letler, the cards seem so cold in response to such warm expressions of sympathy. But that is a physical impossibility --1 cannot even read them all---so I safisfy--or try to---myse!l with writing a very sincere appieciation to a few, hoping in some miraculous way that it will spread and make it- self felt wherever a kindly thought has been sent out to me. "Do hymns ever sing themselves over and over to you? This is the one which has come to me most of- ten since Calvin went home. Rather, it is a part of the last verse of a hymn: "'] knaw not where His Islands lift - Their fronded palms in air, 1 only know I cannot drift Beyond His Love and care.'" Sincerely yours, GRACE COOLIDGE. Vi Friends and Relatives. Rockfield, Aug. 26.--Harvesting operatione are in full swing here and fine weather is hoped for until the grain is cared for. A large number from here attended Brockville fair last week. W. H. Warren is receiv- ing treatment in Brockville hospital this week, . Mrs. F. E. Card, Leslieville, Alta, is spending some time with her sis- ter, Mrs. Leslie Warren. Mrs. Fred. Austin has returned home after visit- ing friends at New Dublin. Mr. and Mre. Fred. Warren and som, Bryce, Oak Leaf, were Sunday guests at J. Miss Bernice Herbi- {high school staff, was here recently FRIDAY and made. Heels. Sizes 4 to 7. Regular $7.50. One Dollar SATURDAY 150 pairs Ladies' Patent and Kid Pumps, French Heels. All sizes 24 to 7. Regular $7.00 and $8.00. The best grades that are 50 pairs Ladies' Patent Oxfords, French J. & T. Bell make. ALL CLEARING AT ONE DOLLAR Springs. THE LEADING UNDERTAKER. ATHENS NEWS BUDGET Standard Church Annual Camp Moeting--W.M.8. Takes Charge of Church Service. Athens, Aug. 27.--Much sympa- thy is expressed for Mr. and Mrs. Watts, Wiltse street, whose sen, Stanley, met such an untimely end at Bishop's Mills recently, when the boiler of his cheese factory explod- ed, killing three victims, injuring several others, and demolishing the structure entirely. The Methodist Sunday school pic- nic was held this year at Hudson's Foint, St. Lawrence River, on the 20th inst. The Sports day at Delta on the 20th drew its quota from this viecl- amity, but inclement weather mili- tated somewhat against the proposed programme. On the 20th inst., Miss Adda Hunt, Victoria street, enter: tained in honor of her guests, her niece, Miss Willlams and friend, Miss Follick, Toronto. Athenians were loyal to the coun- ty fair and numbers were in atten- dance last week and enjoyed the many atrtactions, including the spec- tacular pageant presented .in the evening. * A unique event took place on the evening of the 17th inst., when the local Woman's Missionary society took charge of the Sabbath evening service in the Methodist church. The | president gave an address on "W. M.S. work a factor in Canadian citi- zenship," the mission circle present- ed religious pagent, and the mission band gave a Scripture exercise and constituted the choir, An impressive service was held in the local Baptist church on Sabbath evening last, when the new memorial windows were dedicated. The annual camp meeting of the Standard church is in progress at Lake Eloida, many attending from this section, particularly on Sunday. Rev, Dr. Zimmerman, Mrs. Zim- merman and Miss Cole; Syracise, N, Y., have been here enjoying a visit with their friends, Mrs. R. J. Campo, Main street, Dr. and Mrs. Zimmer- man are experienced travellers, par- ticularly in Europe and Palestine, where they secured many rare and valuable curios. 3 / Rodgers, a former member of ou renewing acquaintances, a guest at the home of Rev. C. J. Curtis. He has been engaged to teach at Smith- ville during the coming yesr. Miss Margaret Gibson has return- Been taking a summer course at Queen's. Fred Yarker, a former Athenian, but now a teacher in one of the Ottawa public schools, with ed from Kingston, where the has| REED FURNITURE FOR THE HOME AT REID'S --jTTRACTIVE AND DURABLE Why not get ready for the warm weather that will soon be here by taking advantage of our specially priced Reed Three Plece Suites, Chairs, * Rockers and Settees----covered in Cretonnes or Tapestries, Also full line of Porch and Lawn Furniture, Hammo Couches and JAMES REID r 'PHONE 147 FUR SERVICE. his bride, has been renewing ac~ quaintances here, a guest of his un- cle Mahlon Yates, Wiltse street, Rev, William Usher, Cushing, Que, a for- mer resident pastor, accompanied by his bride, is calling this week on old time friends. Miss Mande Addison and gister, Mrs. Leah Lilile,. have returned from Mpntreal and will resume their grocery business on Main street. +Mr, Shackles and family have moved from Wiltse street to the Wellington house formerly occupied by the Misses Merrick. Rev. Hilton Jones and family, Brantford, have been spending & few days here, assisting Mrs, Jones, Sr., to move her household effects to Charleston where she is storing them for the present. Aug. 27th is expected to be a "red letter day' here----it {s "Sports Day" with us, and will no doubt maintain its enviable record. HAS A FOX RANCH George Trousdale Has Started One at 23 Hartington, 5 Hartington, Aug, 26.--Many at- tended the circuit picnic held in Har~ rowsmith to-day. Elmer Freeman and family Frankfort, visiting et George Brown's, George Trousdale has started a fox ranch. Roy Luole ard has built a silo, Dora Y ie visiting in Toronto motoring with Elmer Benn, who was here - a visit to his aunt, Mrs. Edley sal. LET aMiss E. Fleming eherst Isiand, ' is expected here m a3 week fo teq public school. Lena Smith ig tending Model school in Mrs. B. W. Campsall and E Ottawa, visiting at Fred Denis and other relatives. Picton und Sand Banks is a popular resort. carloads went from here on Su 'Mrs. Day, Unionville, is at | Leonards. Among recent { were Mr. and Mrs. Robert Gardi Mrs. Woods, Misses Gardiner, Kempt. ville, at Danie] Freeman's; Gers Clement, Montreal, Hazel 1 Sydenham, at their aunt's, Mrs. Denison's; Fred Harkness, Kingston, is visiting this week at B. Campsall's. When cutting up cold chicken for AAdlad ute 3 pair of shents oF SHAH 'e, but never chip in a chopping bowl. i 3 Knitted scarfs have large mono- grams in wool or silk embroidered oné one end. : t idl oT CHAMBERLA COLIC and DIARRHOEA Pays to keep always