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THE DAILY _BhiTish AEM, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31, 1812. Clothes made spotlessly white without rubbing or hard work by OMO OMO wigh cleansing properties without harm to. most deli fabrics. or the hands. It has ing and purifying un and the good, has the ate the fresh country : OMO remo flee etc. from | and wh If you care 1 things, white ¢ etc. ask your §« Safe and sure b not be used for ticles, woollen Pugsley, Ding: fruit stains, ute clothes, tless white wes, shirt waists, ocer for OMO, 10c. an & Co. Limited ronto 02 must red ar E. BL AKE THOMPSON, Real Estate, Loans and Fire Insurance -- Agent for -- bo Assurance Soc'y & Liverpool-anitoba Assurance Co'y. NORTHERN OROWN BANK. MAHKET SQUARE, KINGSTON, ONT, 1 ap iv Box Calf and Tan Calf, leather lined, double sole; Goodyear welt. Just the Boot for wet Fall weather. $0.00 a pair i rol 77 THE ORIGINAL AND ORLY GEMLUINT, Most Valuable Medicine ever discovered The best known Remedy for LoucHSs, CoLbs, ASTHMA, BRONCHITIS. Acts like a charm in . DIARRHOEA, DYSENTERY & CHOLERA. k Eitctasty evn show a attache of STASMS. Checks asd areata fhase too often fatal Sisenses FEVER, CROUP and AGUE as 1 NEAL G1: GOUT, RHEUMATISN. a 2 in drops, an araduated cconding fo tie alu. | ak: crombes a Calm eefrexhong gioep rer Erie when ail oficr remedies vives hen wo other medicing can be tolerated. I CONVINCING -- TESTIMON: i ian omamenital dish of pink jell DEAN SPOONER OF OXFORD VICTIM OF MANY STORIES. % 4 The Celebrated Educationist Name Has Become Affixed to the Mental Disease Which Consists In | Muddiing Up Phrases Is the Butt of Scores of Fictitious Stories of |e Funny Transpesitions. Probably few mén have hud so apochryphal tales abou the lesrned College, Oxilord many wholly them timid It is inevitable that at as in wider fields of Mle, some Le and Spooner owing Nervousness, soon as Spooner, Déan of New a university ne will , perhaps made a butt to his came to fill this position. It was Yust a position which had formerly been occupied by Jowell, who was, however, more respected than his sUecesser owing to the real wit which be undoubtedly possessed. Yet it is said that when, on a certain occasion, a series of ehgice Spooner- isms were recited to Jowett, he was much amused thereby, and remarked, "Fifteen years ago they used to tel all these about me." Be that as it may, géneralions of undergraduates have exercised their ingenuity in fabricating examples Most people, other have unwittingly made a Spoou- erism, which, as nearly everybody knows, consists of a transposition of the imtial letters of two or more words in the same sentence: How did Dr. Spooner first obi his unenviabie celebrity? Some of th best-known examples attributed to the head of New College are supposed ! have 'been made at table or in the college chapel. The best known a dote of a!l is the one which refers the hymn, "Conquering kir their titles take," which the dean is =up posed ta have solemnly 1 out "Tingquering tongs their then, nervously noticing his error; to have altered the line to the famous expression, Kingquernig kongs their titles take." This was the first and original 8poonerism, and around it number 18s others, good and indifferent, have ng up, all, of course, ascribed he 'individual who is alleged t have perpetrated the first. One of the qguainiegst mixups put down fo him is a phra® he once used in a sermon. Speaking of the vague, hali-formed wish so often expérienced in the mind, he said, "We all know wo.at it is to hold a half-warmed fish in our bogems,' On another occasion he pave out the following text: "Sor row may endure for a joy, but night cometh in the morning'; then, again, he spoke of the wicked men whose words were 'as ears and sparrows,' and the first ling of the well-known hymn which starts, "From Green- land's ey mountains," he once quite seriously read out as "From Iceland's Greasy monntains." One Sanday when he was not offi. ciating in the service, he wis sur- prised to find someone occupying his ew in chapel, sternly with, "Are you aware, that you are occupewing my pie?" At the table he rarely "opened His mouth but he puts pis foot in it"- metaphorically speaking, of course Once when he wanted some figs he is said to have electrified a Incheon party by asking a lady to pass the igs' fleas. Those who know the doc. to | us gir, indeed, at some time or | Whose j than ten years afterwards, in { Cape Colony. bul jg "was afterwards tthusiastic i il his compatriots in Australia whe ni | i A TWISTER OF WORDS | T EX-SDRVICT STATESHEN. Arng fs Show Several Remark: able Instances. "Di knows, famous Trans 155, after s tried in Lo tent months' imprisonment. 1904 was chosen Premier of failure n and sentenced ess to say, he of course, was that which caused B Duffy, some to be branded as His was, a political Gavan | Premier of Victoria, felon. Irish rebellion of 1848, a lact which to gain him the gupport--and the voles--ol elected to go in for politics. Another Australian Premier "did time' was Bir Charles Dibbs. He served a sentence in Darlinghurst Jail, Sydney, for contempt of court. Afterwards, when a turn of fortune's wheel made him Prime MiRister of New Wales, he had to appoint a new governor of Darlinghurst. He selected the warden who had charge of him as A prisoner. ! Edward Gibhon Wakefield, another famous Australian statesman, was actually at one time a convict, his offence being the abduction of an heir- ess, a fairly common orime in Eng- land seventy or eighty years ago, but one which the laws always regarded seriously and punished severely. The | Australians of his day, however, were many of them ex-couvicts or the de. seendants, of such, and these--did not regard his offence as reflecting on his honor in any way, while the romantic circumstances surrounding it gained him many sympathizers among the ordinary colonists, On his release these rallied round him, and before long he became the most powerful political personage in the sub-contin- ent. Yet another old convict who rose through politics to high honor Australia, after having served there the sentence of imprisonment passed on him, was Dr. O'Doherty. He was convicted and transported for treason, and on his release he became a popular hero. He sat in both Houses in the Queensland Parliament, and afterwards filled several high official posts in that colony. Forging Roberts' Name. Lord Roberts has narrowly escaped being victimized by a daring forger, for whom the London police are now looking. A check to the value of nearly ten thousand dollars purporting to be signed by the veteran field marshal, was presented at Cox's Bank at Char. ing Cross, and had it not been lor the astuteness of the cashier would have been duly honored. He noticed a small detail in the signature, and when reference was made to Lord Roberts it was found { that the check was a forgery. ard addressed him | A check form on Messrs. Cox and Co. had been by some means obtained by the forger, and he had then em- ployed a member of the Velerans' Corps, in which Lord Roberts 1s in- terested, to go to the bank to cash it. The old soldier, of course, had no knowledge of the fraud contemplated, and had simply accepted instructions to return--to an hotel in Marylebone | road with the money. tor would anderstand at once that he ! " are now searching for the person who was merely asking r The figs, Pp i At the same luncheon he is said to have asked his neighbor to have "some of this stink puff,' pointing 1. y. Lats f sidled into for the he had been "hatching a posty snipe dinner one night he | Even an old friend would take a mo- fin a pot | gipsy tent pitched in a grot of | railw By thug" Jwriter. | start on a bicycle tour he ment br twe to translafe this "snatching 'a hasty pipe.' His poetical description of a gipsy encampment us 'a tipsy gent pitched of grease," was evén Of course, he meant "a face. tow and a complicated. His description of his bagg porter as "two rags was simpler. To a relation who about to remarked, boil your was "You will to icicle before not forget you start." Again, returning fired from a long walk, he observed, "I must have walk- ed ten milés as the fly ctows."' Just as there are numbers of peo- ple daily perpetrating Malapropisms of speech, so there are many uneon- sciously doing their utmost to perpel. uate the memory of quaint little Dr. Bpooner. For.ipstance, the actor who said, "Stand back, my lord, and let the parson cough' (instead of "coffin pass') may have made wn solitary slip, bue in some persons "lapsus linguae" ainounts 'to a veritable infirmity. An excellent clergyman was the de light of the more frivolous ameng his hearers. because he was never keiown Yo preach a sermon Without introduce. ing a reference to a "farren big tree," or dwelling on the fact that 'Many are called, but chew are fosen,'" end- ing the text with the impressing ex. hortation, en chew.' "Spoonerisms?" 5 said a friend of the "My wife nearly startled a local grocer out of his wits with one some. months ago, snd he has always eyed her suspiciously ever since. We had just settled down in the suburb when he called, asking for oor cus. tom, apd inquiring whether he should tell his vanman to call every day. Now, we have dealt st the stores for years, and my wife tried to tell him sa. But what she really said" was, 'No, thanks please don't. I steal at the doers'. 2 4 A govt Bpooperism went the ronnds quite recently. A fine, dignified old lady descended to her kitchen, where tasty fish ere rnd grilled. She soifed disap) , us the 'arena reached her, er » out, "Oh, dear, whit a hell of sternings.' "Be ye therefore of the fos' room with the explanation that | into | more | i | and rain; | i | Per 1 F For expeditious When the forgery was discovered Beotland Yard was informed, and they to the commis. a deseription of he left the hotel his messenger did the money. handed the check swonaire. They have this man, and find directly he found not return with A Titanic Hero's Memorial, Public memorials and statues are not managed very well in England most of them, if not positively eye- sores, are poor as works of art, and of little or no use to the community. Godalming is, therefore, to be econ. gratulated on the form which it has, been decided to embody its me- worial to John George ip wireless operator of While simple, it is to be both beauti. ful and distinctly. useful. A cloistér, with seats sheliered from the wind will enclose a small garden, end the wall will have an a view of land. in and at one arcading opening out scape with a | wd of hills. 1t 1s be | i th committees appoin ted to erect mem ials up and down the country will bear in mind this excellent example, The Fountain Pen. 'The fountain pen is tiony of recent vears lor's "Universal System Writing," published in 1786, we find proof of the fountain pen's great age. "I have nothing mere to add," wrote Bamuel Taylor, "for the use or instruc. tion of the practitioner opt a few words concerning the kind of pen pro- » be used for writing shorthand WINE some Use what are called fountain pens, inte rich your ink is pus, which gradual ly flows when writing, from thence in- Aon smaller pen cut short to fit the smaller Fd of ghis mstrument, but it is & hard matter to meet with a good one of this Kind." not an. inven. in Samuel Tay- { Shorthand Lunar Athletics. The "man in the moon" must surely regard with amused contempt our much vaanted athletic records: A good terrestrial aghlete eould cover about 120 feet an the moon in & Tun. hing broad Jump, while leaping over the barn would be a very common. place feat. He would find no difficulty in carrying iy times as much and running six times as fast as he could on earth, all because the moon - at. tracts bodies with but ong-aixth of the force of the he carth. Mecca's Lodging House. The record lodging a is one for pilgrims at Meéery, which accommo dates 6.000 prrsons, ces amy hore are Sho are troubled with trifle despondency. Fair weather friends always want to be tested. in fair weather. For we often sneak convictions. time : He was implicated (in the }! en- i who | in| oul | wooded | Wt future | TACK MONKEY LANGUAGE. Natives Cin Almost With the Apes African Speak i which §{ they [Ramet that | of- | ¢ UF Marches : further experience had marsh The 3 country was such edd from head most t we knees to, fo esome of our journeys. | marsh stretched on al carriers told us that it Bad | explored, and the ar destination was a3 quickly ag we | through it--but no! quickly. Added to the meonvemence | and sodden condition of the land was | errible smell of rotten and rotting | tation. We two of our packa at this stage, for the i off the heads of pur carriers, wh stumbled aguinst submerged trees Oue of men disappeared, too, { He was in the rear, and had only a 1 light load, but suddenly he was miss ed m the caravan, and we had to | search for him. The natives out in a semi-circle, apd did a com plete tour round wus, sweeping the marsh for a radius of shout 300 yards They never found him. "It was wheg we were going dowt the river that we made the acquait- ance of the mo $s. We could ! them in the fores hatietiny to ¢ other and eal ling piaintively, almost like human beings. At first I eounld hardly believe they were monks thonght they tribes some of their cries were | thos ldren who had b htened It was the weirdest thing to see them swinging along one of the houghs of the trees, hand in or grasping each other's tails would swing together in this fashion, forming a bridge right across the renin, and then our carriers would get quite ex- cited. They were very fond of mon. key flesh. As we approached the ani. mals the natives would ship their pad dles and sit quiet, while the marksmen would hold a gun so that he eould have a good aim. As a rule, he would bring down one of the mon keys with a sereech, and as soon as the result of the shot was seen some of the men would jump overhoard and swim to the body bringing it back the boat in gréat glee. I am convinced that most of thes men knew the monkey language, there is such a thing, for their « duct proved it Mare than have seen a carrier and a companion go off ito the bush carrying a gum, walking until they were within sight of same of the animals. Then one would sit down on his haunehes and put his fingers to his lips and nos and make cries which were certain gond imitations of the cries we had heard from the forest. In a little whi one or two monkeys would come hop- ping along towards the spot, alse l ing and when near enough the rier who had the gun would fire and another monkey would added (0 the larder. How to Grow J A man's organs aml bones which are not subjected © sure grow tinuously until forty years ; that to. say, heart should become stronger, the capacity of the lungs increase, and the brain shoukl develop steadily until t fourth decade of life. Also one she wear a larger hat at the age of than at thirty A man ceases g vever, at the beginning of third decade, because alter that time the downward pressure exerdd by the weight of the body while in the erect position ¢om- presses the vertebrae br-small bepes in the spine, the discs of cartilag between them, the pelvis, and the thigh bones, and the pressuie over comes the natural elasticity of t i discs and the growth of these bones | However, a British scientist contends that were man a quadruped, and therefore freed from . the downward pressure produced by his weight spon his spinal colamn, he would continue to grow in height for ten years | than he does at present, been found that bones not to compression increase fourth decade, . whole lost one or £3 the prea. Wer hand They ty hest to wlice be those of his pres €o he 1s 18 the to ore } w tall lie since i subjects up to the Brothers In the Lords. There ore at least two brothers sitting together in the Hous of Lords. The Marquis of Lans downe's voice and vole are counter acted by those of his brother, Lord Fitamaurice; while Viscount Hardinge has since 1910 had a brother in the person of Lord Hardinge of Penshursy, though the lafter up to the present has made few, if any, appearances in the chamber. The two veteran Can adians, Lord Strathcona and Lord Mount Stephen, are cousins, and it is scarcely an exaggeration to say that halt the House is related by marriage The peers who have sons in the elect. | ed Chamber would also mak: a long | fist. : cases of People Whe Do Not Read Books. There ig a «tory of an educated man and an author who believed and main. tained that "The Heart of Midlothian" | was written by Gladstone. The liter | ate man is astonished to find that people cati be happy and refined, witly | and wise, without books st all. * * *! He shduld remetober that Dickens | rarely read anything except his own | novels that Millais never cpened a book and that Prince Hismareh i gid | to have been chiefly ry with Vi. doo. Books sre nob measure of | all things --London Saturday Review hack up every prejudice Corner loafers ace never couspion oun in corner stone laying. Early training is often the direct ve of the wandering box: PACKED IN ONE buying low grade coffee. An extra half cent or cent a day will buy and you will know the exqt white flavor of the finest coffee obtainable, walk | We have large quantities of PG LEAD - and -/SHEET LEAD anata METAL fis TORONTO HAPPY HOME RANGE When yon require a 'HAPPY HOME the Range, examine the This Range 1s made of hest material, handsome in design, has a large ventilated Oven, and guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction, We carry allkinds of Heating Stoves, ELLIOTT BROS. | Phone 35. KING GEORGE NAVY PLUG CHEWING TOBACCO IS IN A CLASS BY ITSELF! 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