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WATERLOO CHRONICLE Publisher: Cal Bosveld 688-2830 Fax: 886-3383 li-mad wchromcle(arseruex nu 75 king St. South, Suite 20] Waterloo, Ontario N2) iP2 I'molyn Amity Amy Hachbom Cimululon Hunger Ora-lulu The Watertoo (humid: ty published every Wednesday try The Fairway Group il division of southern ()nlanu Cxrmmanuy Newspapers Inc.. a diviston of Southam Publicarroos. a Canwttst Comp any rhe views of our columists are their own and do no! necessarily represent those of the newspaper. 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Sale: Ming Manager Audlled circulation: 26,055 Norma Cyca Advertising 136379 um Karger Adteryul" t's kind of a coincidence that my friend Mike Iover there (my left. your right) chose to take a poke at 'reality TV' in hiscanoon this week, It's a coincidence because N given reality television a bit of thoughi this week and had already decided to use it as this week's topic of discussion beforehe Inkol submitted his current work of an Anyway, I have to agree with Mike -- reality tele- vision is, in a word, garbage. Problem is, garbage collectors appear to be on strike, and the pile is growing bigger and stinkier with each passing day. Honestly, what has the world come to? Millions of viewers plant themselves in front of the boob tube several nights a week to watch "contestants" in various "game shows" chew each other to pieces. It's a sad commentary on today's society, I tell you, A sad statement, indeed. - - - Know what's even sadder? I'm hooked. There. I've said it. I'm out. Hi, my name's Deborah and I watch realityO'. It started last year with Survivor. I tuned into the series a little late â€" about halfway through. But I soon found myself watch- ing every week, rooting for Rudy (he may have been a conservative chauvinistic homophobe, but he was an amiable conservative chauvinistic homophobe who was soon willing to tolerate Richard's lifestyle as long as Richard kept to his side of the island, if you catch my meaning]. From there I pro- grassed to Big Brother. lt was horrible. Positively agonizing. But I watched anyway. Couldn't help myself. To fight off withdrawal after both those series concluded, I watched reruns of Making of the Band. I'm not kidding. That's how serious the situation is, God help me. On Sunday morning I watch that one about a couple of couples who've gone back in time, so to speak, to spend a year as settlers on the Canadian prairies, Sunday night, 1 watch Pop Stars -- a seemingly ondless procession of young hopefuls imost bereft of talent). vying for a spot in "Canada's first all-girl supergroup". Tuesday night it's The Mule a group of contestants completing chal. lt-ngt-s to win dough while trying to figure which amongst them ts the salmteun And Thursday night ti's the were do rostslanct‘ i Survtvor the Auxtmltan Outlrack Now reality TN is back in ful] swing, and I'm in trouble deep. A - A Ilu. lust ofthe "cast" Ikn'l much [win-r Itr'szr got A Hunk who, well. cant A vegetarian who can living things as long as lhey'n‘ not mammalsaud who. by thc way, cmlldn'i SHUT UP to save her soul Wv've got a guy who thanked God for making him the leader of his tribe, an appointment that pretty much came as surprise to the rest ofthe tribe. And we've got a veritable cornucopia of backstabbing, lying. manipulative creeps. Except for one, Rodger. Yup. I'm rooting for the old guy, again, But he's like- ly to get tossed out soon enough because the young whipper-snappers think he's dragging 'em down. Du ya watch it? [)un'l ya just how lvrn? I'd like m slap tlu. rostceitcd cnw cockeyed Got our fellow hum kvl iurfed I)” the show In the wmnd round by Wreadirlg vicious gossip, NU she (ltd Le me mm Then I might just quit watching. oh, who am I kidding. I won't quit watching. Besides. I'm holding nu! hope that the river is teeming with hungry new And sooner or later, leni's going swimming schmality . Reality Hi, my name's Deborah and I watch reality TV VIEWPOINT Legislature sessions cure hiccups .'m fresh from endorsing the new IHighway 7 proposal. but yd like to with- draw it. Nursery operators - and six are involved - say the highway would slash, and probably doom, their businesses. The new route and side roads are like a plate of spaghetti, and even ifyou make your way through the maze, it doesn't offer rea- sonable access to the nurseries. What galls the nursery operators is that no one talked to them about the highway. Not a word. Maybe they should start over again now that the estimated cost is way over $100 million. Extra cost doesn't matter, Or so it seems, That's why each of us should attend a legis- lature session and see how our tax dollars are spent. It's enlightening, educational and the best curefor hiccups you'll ever find. Fast Shuffle: Liz Witmer has been cho- sen to cool off another hot potato. Mike Harris has shuffled his cabinet and Liz has got the sadly out-of- " . date Environment Ministry. " , F, Walkerton is the ghastly smear on ils recent record, but the whole ministry is in need of a huge overhaul. Enter Liz fresh from doing first aid on the hor pital mess. Some folks figure the new job as a demotion, but theTories are vulnerable on the environment. The ministry will be under con- Iinually close scrutiny at the judicial inquiry into the Walkerton tragedy. It's noteworthy that all min- I an isters, including Liz, who are perceived as would-he Ilarris sua‘cssnrx are still in significant positions However. Chris Hodgson. widelv perceived as Mikv's favorite, gm municipal affairs which Is noth- mp, sprunl “Hike Harris retire? He serum» lo be (hung u right no“, In! by bit. Saving Grace: [he first mos of "Nucc KCl" have arisen, and I'm sorry to my I can‘t win the chums As noted before. Kllclu'ner already has a spate of theatres, museums and such so that the my Is probably m. own largest land owner, ierhaps the KCI building or us sun? can be used by Grand River Hospital. but, please, don't plead that it has to be saved, that it's historic. To my mind, the only historic part of it is the bench outside the principals omce, Some of us who often awaited interviews with kind-hearted RN Merritt remember it well. Ah yes, as. the poet didn't quite say they also were unnerved who only sat and waited. Departure Time: It looks "ils if F, 223‘ ‘ j.'5'h'i 17/00th Mat.... mum/mm taMtttsttttegarti-. Cambridge Mayor Doug Craig, the terror at the ballot box, is going m beat Quebec in the race lo secession. While Quebec has halted its drive in order to change quarterbacks, Landslide Doug has got what looks like a lame committee to study the feasibility of secession. It's due to report in the spring, and it shouldn't be hard to write those recommen- dations. One member has already said that in a stand-alone city she'll have easy access to councillors. Gosh, I'd mention that as a negative. The idea of talking to any kind of councillor strikes me as a deterrent. The Charter of Rights should free Canadians from the need to associate with councillors. lin Kitchener. they're now so high-priced you have to go through three secretaries in the outside chance you'll get a brief booking before next election.) or sissy regional standards and ID back will come the hand, pumped wells and backyard primes. Think (If the savings right there Craig says he wants an amicable divnn u but Queen's Park won't quit on regional gem ernmentat this pmm That s own though ds the rumors sin. tlu. ture, will forgo am more forced mrrgvrs Still. thank no way Cambridge' mu law By posing as reluctant. " (Ullllnllt‘ 10mm gle the best dual gmltg But when tlus gambit winds up and his rommunny IR stuck with the region his hope Landslide Crmg hrmls that class" maxim: When the horse is dead. get off Soot Case: We Canadians have long pointed at the United States as the manufac- turers of soot, but now New York and Connecticut are claiming that Ontario's coal-fired electric plants are sullying the air It's amazing how far we've mine. Last summer, for example. up in bucolic Walkerton they couldn'l drink the water, and down in Kitchener-Waterloo we couldn't breathe the am Incidentally. the Cambridge committee has a previous report to work with. It forecast a $500,000 yearly saving if it sepa- rates. It's worthy of note that last July the Cambridge council com- missioned a report on the "posi- tive aspects" ofa stand-alone city. Burgomeister Craig got what he wanted. The report said it could avert "future costs ofhigh- er regional-based standards." Right there you have it. That's where Cambridge will save as a stand-alone Gone will be the