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V - i. I,“ --_- .."" w. w ye: wul. Empty. Besides. l'rn not greedy, I don't need the whole Jackpot. I'll be happy to share it with all of my Pilgrim buddies, any day of the week. "___ .p... ...... ouyyllw us mm me great equalizers. it will no doubt lead to a run on lottery tickets. Have to admit, though, I'm still a little shaken by Professor Lemaire's findings, especially this one that I deliberately held on to until the end. Do you realize that, if all the Pilgrims on the Mayflower - and every one of their descendants - purchased a ticket a week for the past 370 years, there is an 80 per cent likelihood that no one would have yet won? Sure, but Lemaire forgets thoee of us who see that glass (or lottery win) an 20 per cent full, not 80 per cent empty. Racial.- P.., _ mu ”A,“ __ ... . _ _ 12. Your kids get a tummyache In the middle of the day, instead of the middle of the night. 13. CUPW and Canada Post management will combine their two Christmas pames Into one, 14. Youll drive home without tncounter1ng construction. 15. Your VISA bill will arrive late, and your pension cheque on tune. Second Clans Mail Registration Number Published every Wedneoday by The Fairway Group Incorporated 215 Funny Rd. 8.. Kitchener. Ont. September 25, 1991 Well, talk about the proverbial spoilsport. Never fear though, lottery players, not content to give up my weekly vice based on Lemaire's findings, I consulted Dr. Silva Spoon, Professor of Purple Haze at the University of Missagairi. Spoon, refuting Lemaire's aids against theory, says the odds of any of us Winning the big one are better than the odds of any of the followmg events coming to pass. 1 Federal cml servants will get a life 2 Mummpal politicians mll actually be able to explain how they plan tax cuts. 3. Gas prices will stay low on long weekends. l The Toronto Transit Cornxmssion will be named a top 100 company. 5. A major Toronto team - any sport - will win a championship. 6. KW developers stop building strip malls. 7 Prime Minister Brian Mulroney will look in the mirror - and not like what he sees. 8. Pierre Trudeau tires of fatherhood. 9 Motorists and cyclists in " cooperate. 10. Breast-baring Gwen Jacob prances around Guelph semi nude in winter. 11. Erie Lindros goes back to junior hockey - and someone l"terfoo Chronicle Now that Professor Spoon has These statistics don't improve our chances of winning PAGE 4 . WATERLOO CHRONOCLE. WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25. ttNrt out, uxe millions or other lottery players, my philosophy is I can't Witt if I'm not playing; and I'll admit, the little thrill I get peeling open to page two of the paper Thursday and Sunday to see the numbers ls worth the loonie. Naysayers pomt to the Incredible odds against ever Winning the big one, Yeh, yeh, but someone wins eventually and that's good enough for me - or at least I thought it was until University of Pennsylvania Professor of Actuarial Sciences Jean Lemaire trotted out the following sobering facts. Naturally, in all the years we've had the otnce numbers. only once have we won more than $10, and when you divvie it up by eight, It waan't worth talking about anyway. But, like millions of other lottery players, my philosophy is I can't Witt If I'm not playing; and I'll admit, the little thrill I get peeling open to page two of the paper Thursday and Sunday to see the numbers IS worth the loonie. I'm a gambling man. I admit up front. No wonder then I get such perverse pleasure from plunking down a couple of bucks each week on the ome, 6/49 pool. And, Just to Increase my chances, of winning, I usually buy one or two more myself 2, THAT'S LIFE ask/se/n supplied us wit.h.the yea! 1. only . 478 Albert St 8 Alum St., Waterloo g . 50 Westmount Rd. It, Waterloo I "irGeeet"%Tarii tiiii'iiit?tiS it"'iiiiii!ENorred s'eedxess product oi USA. no. l grade ..-- :3. og194 'ti! Bf3] lb. l I _'rr=u-r-rirr"'r- 'iii'ig' 't5i'liit5fi9jiitl otred iiiiiili,ti,ilili'ii