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Anyway, if | can get over these hurdles in the next 10 days, I just may work up enough nerve to enter. But even if I don‘t, don‘t let that stop you from entering. With competition like me out of the way, you may find clear sailing. In any case, congratulations to Westmount Place for injecting some fun into these recessionary times. And as far as I‘m concerned, anyone who sees this promotion as anything more than that, doesn‘t have a leg to stand on. i ooo e o oo onl e eoee n e en en Oe ie eR d ad on my legs. Well, here‘s where I could really move up on the other contestants. Instead of the gorgeous but boring bronze legs you usually see, I would bring a unique multiâ€"colored leg tone to the competition. I have little brown moles dotting my shins, ashen grey cinders (see above) in my knobby kneecaps, a deep purple bruise above my knee where my hammer slipped whilst I was framing my rec room, little blue vein squiggles on my right calf, and a Victorianesque pale cream skin backdrop. Surely my range should count for something. 5. Skin tone: by this, I assume they mean the color of the skin on my legs. Well. hare‘s whore T sanld southl 2c e M o e nn e ov Toe the shafts of nine irons and six irons that they look like. A football friend from my days at WLU once had a golf shirt with arms that [ could comfortably fit my legs through â€" without touching the material. 4. Shape of leg: again, this is listed as an important judging criterium. Well, I do have ironâ€"like thighs. Unfortunately, it‘s the shafts of nine irons and six iyons that thav it L. L i C 1 hn o e oc m en ues e MOneive CnaL t have these wonderfullyâ€"long legs. I don‘t. I have this unwonder fullyâ€"longtorso, and stubby legs. That‘s why I can sit in the driver seat of import cars, my head goes through the sun roof, and my feet can‘t reach the pedals. 3. Leg length: everyone assumes because I‘m 6â€"foot4, that I heve‘Thaessmise 4. ce m ie q nre es 4 1. Cinder scars: yes, | have these two ugly cinder scars on my right kneecap. I got them in grade four, first from falling down during a track meet, then from sliding mt&!thlrd during a softball game. Suckers healed well, but with ¢inders on the inside. And after all these years, who has time for plastic surgery? Can you airâ€"brush, in person? 2. Flat feet: it says in part that contestants will be judged on their walk. Sadly, I was born with flat feet, and have a noticeable hop in my step judges may find peculiar. I know my grade five teacher did when she cast me in the part of Peter Rabbit for our Easter play. ‘"The way you walk, Rick, you‘ll be a natural," she chortled. After years of intense therapy, I got over the comment. But I still hop when I walk. Perhaps the judges will give me advance indication if that is good. If not, Easter is right around the bend. Second Class Mail Registration Number 5540 Published every Wednesday by The Fairway Group Incorporated 215 Fairway Rd. S., Kitchener, Ont. March 6, 1991 _1 may not be in ‘gam‘ condition to enter this contest Waterloo Chronicle have to get over thefoilo:vlnlgl;&'rjd];s & Mn e e Personally, I think it‘s a delightful change of pace, a needed break from encyclopedia and water purification displays, a promo that will unquestionably be a whole lot of harmless fun. Alas, it‘s a contest, so of course, I should be faxing my entry toutede suite to the mall. But, uh, I have serious reservations. You see, even if the panel of judges was stacked with, say all my relatives and both my friends, the best these poor old aching gams of mine could do would be about a poor thirdâ€"place finish. But fear not, I have not given up the thought of entering. I just hdua 4 aieng eeamt o poag oo C on o wl And now, what‘s this over at Westmount Place shopping centre? A Best Legs contest March 15â€"16. For both men and women‘! Great stuff. Offâ€"beat, and just a little daring, especially in this age of overlyâ€"sensitive types. L0 0 TS C m JSE RO WVE Iy DeB Let there be no confusion. I am a sucker for contests. Any contests. Mail order contests. Publishers‘ clearing house contests. Golf tournament putting contests. All kinds. A4 â€" WATERLOO CHRONICLE, WEDNESDAY vov w on e n n nle nc uit i# > 4.9.9.4.9.9.9..0.040.9,9.0,9,9.2,5,2,0,909.7,0.9,9,9,9â€"0,9,8,9, THAT‘S LIFE Pok Gmpl We Use Recycled Newsprint 1991 000072727272 etere?s ADJUSTABLE BEDS DOUBLE o: 2« MATTRESS & SETS MATTRESS & SETS 109.99 129.99 149.99 179.99 129.99 149.99 169.99 199.99 219.99 FREE 109° SINGLE Disposal of Old Sets ‘s= 578â€"1770 x 7a"e7sts" Set 159.99 Set 199.99 Set 209.99 Set 239.99 Set 289.99 Set 229.99 Set 249.99 Set 279.99 Set 319.99 Set 379.99 Set 119.99 Set 189.99 ‘ela‘a"sal2"a"a"nt odasesaa s vsaae s en seresa‘r‘ss Svedaedveanee c en danrenennae MANAGER‘sS SPECIAL COMPLETE SINGLE BED From FREE LAYAWAY 6 MONTHS ma% MATTRESS & sETS 319°° 419.99 serseose 439.99 serr29.s9 349.99 sers29.99 369.99 sersro.s9 399.99 sers39.39 SOFA BEDS iggss KING Set 489.99 ‘COUPON with every set purchased See ts se» ons coe oue cme oue cam ___C TCO CS men mes ces cam FREE SETâ€"UP ONE FREE GIFT when preâ€"arranged MATTRESS & SETS 1799 289.99 set 509.99 189.99 set 319.99 219.99 set 359.99 239.99 set 419.99 259.99 set 459.99 QUEEN Set 289.99