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-Carrier Corner Ralph Harris Aer at; jfiak Abuse A, Mris, a'eee Was oo? Aer new ms 'm@ 56: #7 A63 MEN Warm see; mu T Add As WW I za , atltt/st,'ttiiklt,ii/fr',ltpts, 'i'Ai'ii'i' Peter Etril Snyder Peter Lol Snydcr Honorary Chairman Grand Valles Conservation Foundation This week's Chronide center is Il-year-old Ralph Harris. Ralph attends Winston Church- ill School and delivers the Chron- icle in the Austin, Holly. Columbia Place area of the city. Ralph enjoys doing all types of models; his favorite. however, is doing lifelike houses. In the future, he plans to join the armed forces or become a policeman. Same people must press for imperial measure liEiEiiiiiiEE-E The recent government decision to legalize the Imperial System again in Canada is a step in the right direction, though it appears the same multinational forces who have taken our jobs overseas still have the politicians and bureaucrats in their hands. Now bang on here just a minute. A number of people here in the Twin Cities are reportedly attempting to spread a vicious rumor that winter 1985 is about to come to an end. t You can hear it on the street corners, in the malls, on the elevator. maybe even across the dinner table. Goes like this: " is going to be up to the same people who have made prodigious efforts in the fight against metrication to go further by pressing the Ontario provincial legislature to follow Nova Scotia's example of revert- ing to mile signposts. This would bring a scientific duodecimal measure in line with Canada's acres. sections and townships again. The Imperial System should be reintroduced in the schools without delay, and television and radio announcers im- portuned to bring back Fahrenheit read- ings in weather reports. "Winter? One of the worst 1 can remember in years. Just about drove me bonkers, I don't know if I can handle another one like it. Thank heavens Spring starts next Wednesday." WHO are you trying to kid? Sure, I used to be gullible too. "Says right here on my Playboy calendar, 20th of March. first day of spring. Sunshine. warm temperatures here we come." Right. " is a shame that scientists, who should know the principles of metrology, still toe the metric line for fear of losing their Jobs and research dollars. But that doesn't change the one criterion for the value of a measurement system, which is its ability to divide Into the maximum number of sttttrnuitiNes possible. This is as true for the marketplace as " is for navigation. Can you imagine geometry being distorted to be congruent with kilometres and We all had just cause for believing March 20 to be the first day of Spring. After all, they teach us that in our schools don't they? Not our fault that we listen to those who should know better. But instead, a few years ago, I began to listen to one who not only should know better, but does know better. His name was (still is, as far as I know) Geoff Hoile, who many of you might re- member as this paper's intrepid news reporter leading us into the 19M's. Everything that gentleman's gent said was a) fascinating b) marvellously entertaining and/or c) juicy. juicy. juicy. because he is always one to live life to the fullest, following his every impulse. Doing that very thing right now, Geoff is, in a gorgeous abode in North Vancouver. aasfriGtumaeers with the metric It's true, I used to hang on to Geoff's every utterance. which invariably were delivered from first-hand experience--- with a healthy dash of personal opinion. And one of Geoff's strongest beliefs concerned the "real" date of the arrival of spring as opposed to the more arbitrary calendar date. As a self-styled hobby farmer from Hillsburgh, (he formerly owned the farm that was recently auctioned to aid starving Ethiopians) Geoff had more than his share of skeletons and horror stories about Canadian winters. Over the years, in fact, he became stark cynical about my protestations "don't worry Geoff, spring is Just around the comer." "That's rubbish, Rick, REAL spring does not occur until the 15th of April. Don’t be fooled by a dumb culendar._" _ -- The first year tie told me that, we had a horrendous snowstorm, the worst of the year by far--on April 11. Five days WATERLOO ems. WENSDAY. MAW 13. According to Rick 08mph." Chronic» Editor inter. spring had sprung. the - was rissing, and "one Md convened me. For .a snowball is a dance, not a projectile thrown by your child that -establishes base one just behind your left ear. l have adapted Geoff's rules, and have established a flexible April schedule for the arrival of what I now refer to as True North Spring. Here are some of the guidelines on how to recognize when TNS has arrived. and don't be fooled by any facsimile. it may even help you avoid those dreaded bouts of depression that arrive on your doorstep this time of year. You know TNS has arrived when: . you wash your car in your bathing suit on a Sunday. and 36 hours later don't have to phone the Ontario Motor League to help you find it. The car, that is. 0 your wife doesn't find it funny anymore that you put your Batman misaoneverytimeyouroarmttofthe cave at the and af your driveway. _ "d-YL/kisser ihat those kids walk- ing home from school actually have faces. n "ues, you go home from the office for lunch, and you don't have to leave at 10:18 a.m. to insure arrival at 12:30 . you can stop dropping into your local muffler centre after work to see if yours has shown up in the lost and found. “67km see your first robin-and she isn't wearing ear muffs with human faces on them - "ivyéii can lay off the traffic cop at the boot tray at your front door, citing a slowdown as the reason why. _ - 7 o the Region of Waterloo Swim Club stops phoning you to ask if they can use your rec room as an alternate training site. -7; the bird bath suddenly reappears in the backyard. _ _ - " libég'ers take up one less lane of traffic than they usually do. - A "in“: Blue Jdy home/opener has been played in -4 degree C temperatures, as usual. - a .7 we can wear our Easter bonnets--- without the chin straps. _ So there you have it. Coming to a city near you around mid-April, True North Spring, according to Campbell. Actual- ly, giving credit where credit is due, according to Hoile, who writes that spring is celebrated in North Vancouver about 3 p.m. Boxing Day. Just thought we'd like to know. mania insist on using useless metres to measure mountain heights and kilometres for land surface distances! The Earth has a 360 degree circumfer- ence, with 90 degree right angles, 60 degree equilateral angles, and 60 splits of minutes and seconds in degrees of arc. The 12 and 24 hour clock with its 60 minutes and seconds are perfectly compatible with these ideal duodecimal multiples used to provide the maximum number of whole number coordinates to fly and sail by. The third component in navigation is the International Mile with its feet for alti- tude, and this will be around forever because it can't be replaced. No one argues that Celsius isn't a good water scale, but it should stay in the lab to measure liquids. How often does the temperature reach even 30 degrees in Canada? Fahrenheit put all Earth's mod- erate temperatures in a range between 0 and 100 degrees. He could not have known today's extreme recordings l-tN and +136 degrees F'.) but he must have been prescient because they are virtually equi- distant from zero. Similarly, there is a Fahrenheit balance of range in the Moon's equatorial regions (-240 and +200). The question is, are we interested in a water temperature or an air scale tempera ture? mi hope Canadians will continue opting for a seieqttifle duodecimal system. In B. Patten Anchorage. Alma