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Chronicle entertainment writer Coral Andrews (left) came out of the reviewer‘s chair to join partnerâ€"inâ€"crime Christine Code as Kloset Komics last week at UW Humanities Theatre. ©" Aick Campbell photo Daphne Lavers Chronicle Special In the depths of a biting Canadian winter, 18 courageous comedians last week took their courage in hand to bring warmth and laughter for a few brief hours to the University of Waterâ€" loo Southern Ontario‘s Kloset Komics, a mix of both amateur and nearâ€"professionals, came out of the closet for an evening performance al UW‘s Humanities Theatre. s And not only were they performing for what turned out to be a warm and appreciative crowd, they also bared their souls and their humor for the glare of television lights and cameras. Kloset Komics was a coâ€"production between University of Waterloo Arts Centre and CKCOâ€" TV/CFCAâ€"FM, with a panel of judges comprised of Roger Abbott and Dave Broadfoot of CBC‘s Air Farce comedy troupe; CFCA radio host Fred Merritt; CKCO television personality Johnnie Walters; and Briane Nasimok, a director of the theatresports comedy troupe in Toronto. y Performers ranged from aspiring actors and actresses to fullâ€"time students, from graduates of Toronto‘s Yuk Yuk‘s Komedy Cabaret to computer programmers, and from waitresses to advertising types. Toronto comedian Tim Progosh took the opportunity to describe for the audience various kinds of humor they witnessed during the evening â€" with appropriate illustrations. He described everything from selfâ€"abuse comics to niceâ€"guy funny types, from attack comics to impressionists, finishing off with his own impressions of wellâ€"known personalities (would you believe Hill Street Blues® Captain Furillo? ) reciting Mary Had a Little Lamb. Kitchener resident Al Ishi performed impresâ€" sionist comedy with a difference; his routine was made up of sound effects ranging from helicopters and trains to horses and car clubs, mindâ€"boggling to listen to but impossible to deâ€" scribe. You only go ‘round once in life University of Waterloo student Vivian Hoff took the audience through an amusing account of childhood trauma â€" a children‘s performance of Peter Pan gone wrong. The flying sequences with the children turned into disaster when the support ropes broke, the crocodile began eating the audience, and the children in the audience Coral Andrews Chronicle Special Well,. Kloset Komics have come and gone, and they are now a thing of the video past. But those who unfortunately missed this Kloset Komics kommendable! hilarious Humanities Theatre show, will have a chance to see the finished result, on CKCO TV Channel 13, sometime in May ‘85. I must admit I spent the better part of that fateful day keeping didn‘t clap loudly enough to prove they believed in Peter Pan. Tinkerbell died. Kitchenerâ€"Wateriloo theatresports troupe Actâ€" ing on Impulse performed a fast ten minutes of perhaps the most difficult comedy â€" improvisaâ€" tion with a political twist. Skits included an upcoming political game called Promises Promises, featuring our own House of Comâ€" mons, naturally, along with the latest home accessory craze â€" a box of plutonium 238. The plutonium comes complete with a handâ€" book called One Hundred and One Things to Do With Nuclear Waste. Samples: use it for a night light; sterilize your food; create unusual pets in the comfort of your own home. And with a delightful sense of the absurd, Acting on Impulse finished with a skit on the Vatican Express Card which, if lost, resurrects itself in three days. ‘"Don‘tdeave Rome without it‘ The sleeper of the evening was a group called Men Without Taste, three Southwood high school students from Cambridge whose routine ran the gamut from ‘"Poetic Paramedics" â€" ‘"What ho, Rampart‘" â€" to a computer dating service ie. dating computers, for those really into high tech. Men without Taste finished up with The Rome Report, circa 47 B.C. featuring news â€" "the leading Cause of death last year was execution" â€" weather, â€" "locust storms" â€" and of course, sports â€" ‘"Lions, XIV, Christians zip, and racing superstar Ben Hur crashed into a retaining wall whereupon his horse burst into flames." Guelph native Irene Radek explored the war between the sexes with a few interesting twists â€" "laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone!" â€" while Stratford DJ Randy Quinn talked about childhood deprivation â€" ‘"we actually had to get out of the car to open the garage door, and we had to ride to school in a Plymouth. With no tape deck." The third place winners of a prized rubber chicken tied between Acting on Impulse and Vivian Hoff, while second place rubber chicken honours went to DJ Jim Waechter and Men Without Taste. The first place winner was Toronto comedian Rob McLean, who combined a comedy routine with a piano he actually played in a runâ€"on musical pianoâ€"bar skit covering Mr. Dressâ€"up, "The Killer Littlest Hobo" and a themeâ€"song the butterflies out of my throat, never mind my stomach. All of us had different ways to fight the fright. Some paced. Others pracâ€" tised deep breathing, and some even laughed it all aside, as we watched one another throughout the evening, on the video monitors in the wings. When our turn finally came (it seemed like eons, and by this time I‘d memorized my last will and testament), CKCO‘s Bill Inkol introduced us as two ‘"offâ€"theâ€" wall" girls. This is one time when I wished God had made me a fish Chris Code and I, coâ€"ordinated in the most horrendous slime green and pastel pink, with accesâ€" sories not necessarily matching, took our little cafe table and our souls in front of the bright lights and television cameras. I began spewing forth the openâ€" ing passage ‘Has anyone here ever been a waiter or a waitress‘ all the while thinking, ‘has anyone "Laugh, and the world laughs with you, but snore, and you sleep alone,‘" moaned Kloset Komic Irene Radek. Rick Campbell photo Kloset Komics also included within their ranks the Waterloo Chronicle‘s own, inimitable entertainment reporter Coral Andrews, who teamed up with UW student Christine Code to parody the pains of restaurant customers. But the intrepid Ms. Andrews can describe her experience in her own words ... . heroineâ€"onâ€"theâ€"railroad tracks number reminiâ€" scent of the English duo Flanders and Swann.. here ever been stupid enough to try standâ€"up comedy‘ heh, heh, heh,... Finally my psyche took over. I don‘t recall anything after that. I cannot describe the feeling that surges through you, when you are up there almost all alone (thank heavens for Chris) bearing your comedy soul for anyone to tear apart, or maybe even laugh at. Like many funnymen have utâ€" tered, "I‘ve always wanted to come up here and make a comâ€" plete fool out of myself, and thanks to you I‘ve been able to do that." And moi? I think IP‘ll stick to the reviewing aisles for a while. The next time I need a good dose of comedy, I‘ll go to bed, drink plenty of fluids, take two aspirins, listen to Robin Williams, Steve Martin, Lenny Bruce and Peter Sellers, and sweat every single punchline out of my system!!!!!