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PAGE 6 â€" WATERLOO CHRONICLE, WEDNESDAY, MAY 25. Second Class Mail Registration Number 5540 Waterfoo Chronicle Sercand Cla«e Mail Resictration Number 5540 established 1854 / Where is Henny Youngman when you need him? Henny, take the weatherman â€" please! No, not those poor helpless targets who are saddled with the responsibility of bringing us those inaccurate reports nearly every night, but the ones in never, never land who hide behind all those newâ€"fangled gizmos and computerâ€"age shingles. And who are usually 99 per cent accurate 10 per cent of the time. ~ The tolerance level for our soâ€"called meteorological experts must be reaching an allâ€"time low as the world and more specifically our country undergoes what appear to be bizarre and inconsistent weather pattern shifts. _ Point is though, especially in the summer months, we look upon weather reports as blessed sacraments, altering our plans according to forecasts, scheduling massive events with fingers crossed, planting our gardens with an eye on the calendar and the report in between news and sports. And to be truthful, in the past couple of years, those reports have been sadly lacking in accuracy. Especially for the big "W". Weekends, when time is our own and plans are many. We only have to go back a week to confirm our case. As late as last Thursday, most stations‘ weather services were predicting three days of glorious sunshine and warm temperatures for the long weekend. Sure. Maybe in Honolulu. Certainly not around here, though. The situation has deteriorated so badly, these new weather whizzes have turned into a laughing stock, with more progressive radio stations now featuring Accuâ€"window, and Out Your Window Weather. â€" What‘s worse, many services justify accuracy statistics by changing their forecasts three or four times daily (see Out Your Window Weather) or by insulting our intelligence by predicting "sunny, with cloudy intervals, and a chance of showers or even thundershowers." Can‘t go too far wrong with that assessment, can you? To be fair, we appreciate the fact we are prone to everâ€"changing weather patterns and influences, and thereâ€" fore computers or no computers, predicting the weather is no easy chore. o But we do wish those in the game would throw away their crystal balls and cease professing to be magicians of the art. They are just as vulnerable to error as the rest of us, and what‘s worse, have been making a habit recently of proving it. Again and again. mmmmmmpmpuce If you‘ve anything better to do, don‘t bother reading this column, as it‘s likely to be feverish and incoherent. Conditions for writing are not ideal. I‘m sick. Not ill Sick. Ladies and gentlemen are ill. People like you and me are sick. Stuffed with antibiotics and cold remeâ€" dies, sucking cough drops to prevent me hoicking up the odd lung. I got bored in bed. went downstairge was driven back up by the horrible sight and sound of my wife With nothing in my head except limitless supplies of mucus (where does it all come from, gallons of it‘ ), I‘m going to let some of my readers have their say this week. For the sake of space I‘ll edit a bit. doing the Jane Fonda exercises to a thudding disco beat, and bellied up to the lypewriter to get my mind off my miserable, whining self. Ralph Hodgson of Waterioo, after agree ing with my comments about the weirdos who handle our tax money, has something else to get off his chest: "Education is becoming too dammed expensive for what we are getting. (I agree) ... Weather ‘tis BILL SMILEY published every Wednesday by Fairway Press, a division of Kitchenerâ€"Waterioo Record Ltd., owner 225 Fairway Rd.S., Kitchener, Ont. Waterioo Chronicle office is located in the Harper, Haney and White Law Office Building (rear entrance, upper floor) Parking at the rear> of the building Open Monday to Friday, 9:00 a m. to 5:00 p.m address correspondence to Waterioo office: 45 Erb St. E.. Waterioo, Ont. N2J 11.7, telephone 886â€"2830 "You are an intelligent educator, Bill, but how effective are you and your associates? (Thanks, Raiph. Not very) ... "The history of education for over 5000 years has had many spectacular results but has also managed to bring the human race to the brink of extinction." (Don‘t agree. People have brought us there, not education) ... Mr. Hodgson says the bestâ€"educated persons in his life were his father and his aunt. neither of whom went beyond elementary school. My own parents wen!t as far, or less, and both wrote better than most Ph.D.s and journalists. He goes on: "Perhaps I should refuse to pay my school taxes. How would you like that. Bill? For teaching 195 out of 365 days this year at say $40,000, maybe you are not worth $205.13 a day. (You‘re right. I‘m worth far more, but they won‘t give it to "Seriously, I‘m truly concerned at the large number of reasonably wellâ€"educated young Canadians who are graduating with such a bleak employment future.‘"" (1 am not concerned. I am appalled.) _ From Frank Somers, a sprightly 76, of North Battleford, Sask., comes a solid Publisher: Paul Winkler Manager: Bill Karges Editor: Rick Campbell "Economic conditions have placed demands on some agencies more than others and consequently more emphasis should be placed on these agencies."" Readers ranting suggestion: "Last week I was impressed by your idea of a tax strike ... I have an idea along the same lines which would be a boycott of the liquor stores ... "I feel that anyone who drinks or smokes pays an undue share of taxes. I have quit the smoking habit but my wife still smokes up a storm ... It has burned me up every time the Finance Minister says ‘Let‘s hit the poor old slobs that like a drink once again‘ ... (Me too.) ‘"So all the members vote in favor of either raising the tax or putting more water in it. Then 1 suspect that after being so righteous they retire to their chambers, and having voted Down with Liquor they will proceed to exactly that ... (A nice pun, Frank) **So how about a drinkers‘ union able to lobby and even sacrifice to the extent of going on a nonâ€"buying spree. This might make them think about us and would even be good for our liver and pocketâ€"book. The ad could read BOOZERS and ASSOâ€" CIATES: join ANA â€" Alcoholics Non Anonymous. Let us stop acting like a downâ€"trodden minority and make ourâ€" selves heard. Who knows but we might even be a silent majority?" (Amen. I‘ll It is written Federated Appeal allocations chairman David Carter . explaining the reasons behind 1984 allotments. NOW , I CAWT vnowsa\ ANYTHING PUT TLL PASS YOUR NAME ALONr T0 THHg PROPER ALTHORITNES AND THEY CAN GET IN TOuQH . , drink to that, Frank.) Ed Stevens of Colborne, Ont., would like 10 get together with me about the "incredi ble financial mess we have allowed our Canadian governments to get themselives into, and your conviction that concerted cortrective action by only 9,999 intelligen! citizens can correct the situation fasc! nates me." Mr. Stevens had already begun such a movement, including a constitution (too long for this space), with the general purpose of ordinary citizens getting some kind of handle on such things as the cost of government, the current financial status of the nation, the effects of federal provincial and municipal debt on the citizen, and the law, in terms of how to effect essential changes. His ideas are sound. The movemen! would consist of 20â€"member groups (no larger), with each group dedicated to forming other similar groups, something like a chain letter. With an enlightened and determined citizenry, there‘d be a lot more tippyâ€"to« ing and a lot less riding roughshod and airily dismissing deficits soaring by bil lions, among our politicians. â€"SEE PAGE 1