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{Continued from page 4) One young woman suggested the students need to be integrated with those in the reguâ€" lar four or fiveâ€"year programs to give them an incentive to achieve Complaints that they are not allowed to use the same equipment available to general level students are sur facing. Don‘t bus Group helps parents control teens The couple decided that their permissive parenting wasn‘t the answer to solving some problems that occurred during the adoles cent years. They allowed friends and neighbors to set new ground rules for the York children to follow, and these firm no non sense rules changed the children into better people Toughlove provides an outlet for parents to interchange probâ€" lems and develop solutions for disruptive teenage behavior Rules are_ drafted toâ€" satisfy individual families and parents Toughlove, a communityâ€" centred program, was developed by David and Phyllis York, two Pennsylvania family therapists who had difficulties with their own teenagers. (One of their children was charged with the armed holdup of a drug dealer). Desperate, she moved out of the house. She didn‘t know how to deal with her son, or the probâ€" lems his bad behavior caused the entire family. Consequently, "I went home to mother." But she stayed only a week. Realizing that running away from her problems with Dean wouldn‘t solve anything, Fielding tried facing her problems through Toughlove. The Fieldings had trouble getâ€" ting Dean out of bed on school and weekend mornings; their son‘s grades were poor and he was a class disrupter. And there were more probâ€" lems: Dean was experimenting with drugs and alcohol. He also was sneaking out of his bedroom window â€" when his parents beâ€" lieved he was in bed for the night â€" and attending allâ€"night parties. Added to this, Dean was inâ€" volved with thefts. ‘"That was the worst thing," said Fielding. That spurred the formation of a Kitchenerâ€"Waterioo group. Fieldâ€" ing said meetings began at her house, but have since continued at St. George‘s Anglican Church on Fischer Dr. in Kitchener. They are held Thursdays, beginâ€" ning at 7: 30 p.m. His language was abusive and ‘"if you smacked him for bad mouthing, he‘d threaten you with child abuse," she said. She and her husband, Earl, were having problems with their teenage son, Dean. At her "wits end," she, along with two friends who were having difficulties with their children, attended a Toughâ€" love meeting in Toronto last fall. The Fieldings noticed a marked change in their son‘s behavior last spring when he was 13 years old. It‘s been a blessing to Waterloo resident Corinne Fielding. "I don‘t know where 1‘d be now if it weren‘t for Toughlove," said the young homemaker. Toughlove, a parenting moveâ€" ment that originated in the Unitâ€" ed States and is now gaining popularity in Canada, offers muchâ€"needed support and welâ€" come solutions for parents trouâ€" bled by their teenager‘s behavâ€" iOr. Before you fling yourself in front of a speeding car because your teenager‘s deplorable beâ€" havior is driving you mad consider Toughlove. It may bring you back from your wits end. Story and photo by Joy Lavigne The proposal will be presented to the board The proposal was met with strong opposi tion on the part of students. Seven boys from WCI chose to dis regard threats of a detention and formed a delegation which con fronted Parliament at his office. more Fielding hopes that parents who are having difficulties with their teenagers will join Tough love, like she did. There are 22 members in the Kitchener Wa terloo group to date and Fielding wants this number to grow. She also would like to see her group be one of many to take hold in the Waterioo region. Toughlove parents back each other in a crisis situation. They‘re "like a family," said Fielding. "They can be called upon day or night and they‘ll be there to help you through the crisis." Now, however, he said he likes what Toughlove has done. His home has become a much more pleasant place in which to live than it was before. His mother noted that although Dean occasionally slips back into his old ways, his behavior has improved considerably. Bad beâ€" havior doesn‘t change overnight, she said, for it sometimes takes a long time for significant im provement. Dean said he hated the Toughâ€" love approach when his parents began to use it. In particular, he was used to his mother being a ""pushover," then suddeniy she became firm. The Fieldings have a set of rules, listed in black and white, that they expect both Dean and his sister, Racheal, to follow. Violators must pay the conâ€" sequences. For example, if a teenager is fined for breaking the law, he or she should be responsible for paying that fine regardless of his or her money situation. Parents shouldn‘t bail out their children. Or, if a teenager violates curâ€" few, he must suffer the conâ€" sequence. This (depending on the individual) may mean that he or she will be locked out of the house. Fielding said that in this situation the teen would be inâ€" structed, perhaps by a note on the door, to go to the address of another Toughlove parent for the night. This relieves the anxiety in the teen‘s home. For example, a parent knows he should punish a teenager for skipping school, but instead, to ‘"protect him," decides to write a note to the teacher saying that the teenager wasn‘t in school because he was ill. Toughlove supporters would dissuade the parent from writing the note and encourage him to enforce punishâ€" ment. Fielding had difficulty when punishing Dean. She tried "grounding"‘ him to the house for an alloted period, but before the time lapsed, she‘d allow him to go out of the house. Now, with Toughlove backing, she takes a firm stand and is consistent. Fielding said that Toughlove encourages parents to *"make kids responsible for their acâ€" tions." Dean also said the rules that his parents set down are fair. Fielding noted that often parents know exactly how to deal with a problem but they find it difficult to use this knowledge. help each other enforce them. ‘"They know what they should do but can‘t carry it through .‘ on Thursday evening for its consideration At least one trustee will voice the parents‘ concerns anp vote against the proposal Waterloo trustee, Eli zabeth Witmer. said she cannot condone the proposal because of the social implications of taking the students away from their friends and communi ty. tion. Corinne Fielding helps 13â€"yearâ€"old son Dean with his homework. Since becoming involved with Toughlove, the Waterloo mother has learned to better cope with and control Dean‘s problem behavior. She hopes more area parents will discover the support system provided through Toughlove, a community, nonâ€"profit organizaâ€" Kitchener . Ontario 7424951 or 742â€"6581 33 Main 5t (Gai) 3 Charles St West at Queen Open daily IO_J; At Wesseling‘s, you‘ll find a great selection of topâ€"quality stereo for your home, car or travels. It‘s all set up in our lisâ€" tening rooms for you to play and compare. And if you need advice,. our salespeople will be happy to take the time to explain things You can get a stereo almost anywhere â€" appliance stores, department stores, or even drug stores. But if you want the best stereo your money can buy. come to Wesseling Advanced Audio. Better price. Better advice. 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