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‘"When people see the term transactional analysis, they think it‘s pretty heavy stuff,"" says Deiter Kays. Mr. Kays, assistant pastor at Grace Lutheran Church in Kitchener and program supervisor at Lutherwood school in Waterloo, feels that this is probably one of the reasons the transactional analysis course he offered at the Waterâ€" loo Family °Y‘ in April, did not get off the ground. 'l'opnttnnucthulmaly::hsimplerurms.hed& scribes it as a means of helping people analyze their way of acting and reacting to various situations. "It‘s a tool that helps people figure out what makes them tick," he said. It is a way of analyzing the kinds of interâ€" action people have with one another. * Mr. Kays first became involved in transactional analysis in the Spring of 1970 when the supervisor of a course he was taking at the time, became deeply involved in it. _ ‘‘Transactional analysis helped me. grow. It was one of the turning points in my life,"‘ he said. _ _ â€" . Mr. Kays has taken two years of transactional analysis training in St. Louis Missouri and has attended a variety of workshops. Since then he has been in charge of a number of training sessions and workshops in Missouri and has Both sessions were well attended. ‘"‘Many people take a course in transactional analysis because they are not happy with the way they get along with others but it is not problematic to the point where they need professional help,"‘ he said. ‘"‘Many people do not realize that the problems they have are problems that other people have as well.‘" -â€"M'râ€" K-éy;;gave the example of a timid person who had a neighbour who talked for hours on end and was difficult to get rid of. _ ; ~ _ _________ _ “'l‘ransactionil analysis helps you look at yourself and at the relationship between you and your neighbour and helps you find a way of getting out of such a situation so that your neighbour feels good and you feel good,"‘ he said. Mr. Kays said no matter what individuals have experiâ€" enced in the past, they are responsible for what happens in the future. An understanding in transactional analysis will definitely help with their future. In explaining the theory behind transactional analysis, Mr. Kays pointed out that there are three active elements in each person‘s makeup. These are referred to as ego states and include the parent state, child state and adult state. These ego states are similar to computer tapes and they store information that has been collected in the first five to tapes are played back. ‘"‘The parent state is very helpful to people and they need it to have a conscience," said Mr. Kays. "Our do‘s and don‘ts come out of this state." _ c It is in this state that we learn to grow up in a way that our parents believe is proper. By watching our parents we learn how to be mothers and fathers, men and women and husbands and wives. Quite often parents act the same way as their parents acted, he said. Mr. Kays pointed out that the parent state is subâ€"dividâ€" ed into the nurturing parent, which includes the love and attention people receive, and the critical parent, where achievement is demanded and prejudices and do‘s and don‘ts are made clear. ‘"‘The child state is the fun state where the child enjoys life or does not enjoy life," said Mr. Kays ‘"The kind of parent and child states we have are important to the kind of life we lead."‘ lLayman House â€" for rag market denims cords ladies skirts blouses etc. flannel shirts record exchange jewellery \and much much more Kl.lve;;l';l'pâ€"l; Mr. Kays used was a situation where parents Open Wed. & Thurs. 11â€"6 Friday 11â€"9 Sat. 11â€"6 located at 12 King N. Waterloo, upstairs across from the Old Book Barn. Transactional analysis creates wellâ€"bein ;-iie;;in;vsfi life. At appropriate times these By Terry James at the Kitchenerâ€"Waterloo Family *Y: % : Jagte Aerx 3 .?‘?w\* "“, ’&.“ ty 4E t ‘% cA dhsg " 4 a 1 Y w m rieg! / Aufy toge t aok r is hA oi ts as, â€" > ies on re e ofi Ne uo t g 1O Nes t Te on Aing 34 [ P o M Py ons Come in and do your own work ! Membership only a dollar. Rent a bay & tools â€" $2.50 per hour Paint your own car â€" $20.00 (We‘ll do it for you) â€" $29.95 Body man available. You‘ll enjoy it! OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK a#*" M & Eoâ€" FIXâ€"ITâ€"YOURSELF uwmmuwummwu% "One of two things could happen," he said. The may be convinced that he can‘t do anything and consequentâ€" ly he won‘t try or he may rebel and try to prove to lis parents that they are wrong by becoming an overachievéer." In the adult state, Mr. Kays explained that a person takes . aumehtmflâ€"_hehsmm&rmtfl. child states, compiles it and makes decisions. It is in this state that a person starts to look for reality to see if it corâ€" Wmmtmmbnnedwtouphthhh e. Depending on their ego states, people choose a life posiâ€" tion which affects everything they do. There are basically four positions to choose from. un? first position is the "I‘m not ok â€" You‘re ok" attiâ€" "A person usually develops this position if they have been very dependent on their parents for survival," said Mr. Kays. ‘"This position carries with them throughout life and they fee! they have to constantly doâ€"things to please peoâ€" ple because they depend on how others feel about them.‘*~ Another position is the ‘"I‘m not ok â€" You‘re not ok" position. Mr. Kays explained that the people in this cateâ€" gory are likely those who, as a child, lived in an environâ€" ment where their parents did not pay attention to them. Therefore they feel that others, as well as themselves, are very inadequate. ‘"‘The person in the "I‘m ok â€" You‘re not ok*" position, has probably not had any of their needs met through their parents. They may even have been abused," said Mr. Kays. "The only relief this person may know is when they are by themselves and because of this they formulate the view that "I‘m ok" when they meet their own needs and don‘t need the help of others." ~ Mr. Kays said that these people may be introverts or veryaggressivepeople,“wboareouttotakewhattheycan get no matter who they hurt while doing it."‘ ‘"The ideal state everyone should reach, is the "I‘m ok â€" You‘re ok * position,"" said Mr. Kays. He explained that this position is not based on early childhood experiences but it is a conscious decision where a person realizes that they have worth and so does everyone ‘"*Some people get uptight at this, particularly Christians who believe that we are all sinners," said Mr. Kays. "I believe that I get my worth from Jesus Christ and other people get their worth because they are also creatures of Mr. Kays said that the way we begin to feel differently about ourselves is by doing things differently. "If I do things to show I‘m important, then I will feel imâ€" portant," he said. Mr. Kays said that people who are used to being put down, live their life that way and set themselves up so that they are put down, t Transactional analysis has a very warm, understandâ€" able language. For example, a kind deed or compliment is called a warm fuzzy or a positive stroke. A negative acâ€" tion towards someone is called a cold pricklie or a negaâ€" tive stroke. Strokes refer to attention given to someone. tive stroke. Strokes refer to attention given to someone. Mr. Kays finds that children between the ages of seven In his classes, Mr. Kays has people volunteer to discuss . ,,, 10, relate very well to transactional analysis. During their problems. In this manner he feels he is teaching workshops specially designed for children, he distributed theory in an experiential way. . . warm fuzzy bags which were paper bags full of candies. Before he became involved in transactional analysis, Mr. _ mm;c was to show the children how warm fuzzies make peoâ€" Kays had problems of his own that he wanted tosolvq. ple feel good. After this the children practiced giving "I used to be someone who would get myself into all _ \,_m myzies to one another. kinds of binds. I would cram my life full of all different One warm fuzzy Mr. Kays would like to réceive from the kinds of things. I was unable to say no to people. people in Waterloo, is for them to take an int t in t Through transactional analysis, Mr. Kays was able to actional analysis and become involved. Parts and Oil Available We Mix and Sell Bridgeport â€" Near The Grand Hotel 135 Woolwich St. N. Waterioo 742â€" 1381 t 5 wC mxmdwmmw.bookon tansactional analysis. Mr. Kays believes transâ€" actional analysis has great potential as an aid to better relations between people. * understand where this drive came from. Now he is more selective about what he does. ’ ~ ""I enjoy life more and I do more things for myself and enjoy it. I still feel busy but I am much more on top of the things I do,"" he said. Mr. Kays also had problems with living in the present. ""I would always be thinking ahead, like when I graduate from school or I would tell myself that maybe tomorrow I would be able to enjoy life. Jt became a game with me and I found I was always living in the future and not enjoyâ€" ingthepresen\'l‘hrough&mactionalmlysislgota handle on this and saw ways I could enjoy the present and still plan for the future." _ _____ _ _ RENT the BEST 100 KING ST. S. â€" WATERLOO 886â€"1670 PIANO RENTALS All Ages Teaching Program Now Available Limited Stock Announce