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THE OAKVILLE BEAVER £lllllllllllllllllllllNI1llllflllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllli: June 12,1974 37 between periods Corbetts dum p Sabres by david carey = Everybody wants to set a record these days. = | There once was a time when record-setting was = = left to the Gordie Howes and the Mickey Mantles = E but in 1974. the common man has decided that ! e it's his turn to grab a slice of fame. § The contemporary record-setter has to break E = new ground to get his name in the books. After s = all, everyone can't hold the lofty honor of = E scoring the most goals or hitting the most = = homeruns. E | Instead we are constantly bombarded with = E news of records like " longest time bouncing on a e | trampoline wearing hip waders" . The ingenuity § E of the earstwhile record-buff has to be 1 = applauded. But I must say, I get a little bored = § hearing about someone's latest insane feat. | I t's time somebody put his foot down. If you I E listen closely you will hear the sound of my = E adidas crunching the cover of The Guiness Book § E of World Records. E 1 . So many weird records are being set every day I ! that accomplishing some unlikely task has lost = E all meaning. e e We can't have people thinking up arbitrary e = stunts and expecting to be recognized for them. = 1 Some authority somewhere should assume = = responsibility in determining what a viable = E record is. Many people have asserted that I a m s E very weird. On top of that, I am in a position of = s authority (you are reading my column instead of = = vice versa. Voila -- I am in authority).! E Therefore. I am assuming that responsibility. ' = e Now all you would-be record-setters -- t r y l = these on for size. = 1 There are two major areas of record-setting; e e namely the quantitative feat (how many) a n d ! ! the durability feat (how long). = jjj Here are a few top stunts in the quantitative e =department. | Try for the world's record in eating the most = Easparagus. The mark currently stands at th ree s | stalks and was set by a 400-pound weightlifter 1 E who fasted for two weeks before his triumphant e 1 effort. E = He commented after his recovery, "I'm su re ! Eglad I don't like asparagus. Otherwise I 'd be | E eating it all the time and I can't '•■•and it." E For those who go for the more esoteric stunts, = S give this one a whirl. = 1 The feat centres around free association.! = That's simDlv letting your mind wander andi = saying the first thing that pops into your head. = i Free associate starting with tne words E ! Richard Nixon. See how manv words vou can = = come up with before termination of your efforts. = E You may free associate until you come up with e e the word tricky. E | The record for this one was set (co- = = incidentally) by Julie Nixon Eisenhower w h o ! E has freely associated with her father for over 20 e ! years and has not come out with even one tricky. ! ! Second place in this record-setting category = E belongs to Inhotep Krishnapotato o f ! E Brownsville, Tibet. S E Inhotep had been cloistered in a monastery for ^ ! 40 years, ruminating on life and trying to s = discover whether or not it is better to be a man = | or a pear. His first contact with the outside = E world came when he was given the free i = association problem via a representative of Del e e Monte. S | Inhotep's second-place mark stands at 12 i I seconds and he got in six words before I E elimination. They were: "Hee, ho-whaduyu ! | know0 Nixon's pretty tricky." E I In the durability category, here are a couple of | E notable marks to try for. " E I i,, Turn your TV set to Buffalo's Eye Witness I = News. Watch it from the beginning and see how i = lar y°u get- Keep track by counting the = E commercial breaks. s *1 you rnake it to the second break you will not = ! only be the world's record holder; you will also I s be th e f o r e m o s t a u t h o r i t y o n | | homicides, corruption and the Buffalo school = feE board. ! e Here's one final task. And it's a toughy. Go to I ! the nearest grocery store and stand beside the = = bacon. See the price? It says $10.00 a pound. Now = s hurry and fill up your cart with other items. If = § the price hasn't jumped by more than a dime ! = before you get back, you're a winner. ! | This record has yet to appear on any record = = book. * E 1 Those are my challenges to the record-buffs. I | Yeah, they're difficult all right. But we've got to I ^ keep some significance in the status of record-1 = holder. E tTiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiliiiiiiiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiii The Oakville Corbetts senior baseball team stretched their record to six wins and two losses on Monday night by virtue of a 9-3 victory over the Mississauga Sabres in Oakville Park. The locals did most of their damage in the second inning when they put across four runs. L a r r y L a w r e n c e started things off with a single and advanced to second on another single by Gord Currie. Morley Dixon walked to load the bases and Tim Black knocked in two runners with a single. Bob Conrad finished things off with a double which scored both Dixon and Black who made it home from first. The Corbet ts had scored a run in the first and they added two in the fourth, and one in the fifth and eighth innings. A throwing error with two out in the second allowed the Sabres to get two unearned runs. They added one more in the eighth. The Corbetts tagged losing pi tcher Dan Zeraldo for 12 hits while Gord Currie scattered eight hits while getting the victory. In th e h i t t i n g department for Oakville, Conrad led the way with a single and two doubles. Currie had three singles and Black and Larry Lawrence had a pair of singles.each. Said team publicity man Jerry Bunney, " I think one of the keys to the win was the fact that we were hitting Zeraldo pretty good and. they wouldn't take him out. Our team is functioning s m o o t h l y now, particularly on defence. Conrad had a fine game at short stop and Don Scarrow and Tim Black were impressive in the out field , e spe cia l ly considering that a strong wind was b lowing throughout the game." The Corbetts currently hold down third place in the league standings. They trail Campbellville at eight wins and no losses and Leaside with six wins and no losses. 8 4 4 -1 6 4 6 NOW OPEN C O L O R P R IN T S I N 6 HRS. IN by 11 a.m. OUT by 5 p.m. o p e n i n g s p e c i a l mrmtm 2 5 % OFF ALL CAMERAS FREE FILM OFFER W s a - 46 LAKESHORE RD. W. 1 Block East of Kerr K SERVICE SPECIALS Complete BRAKE RELINING Here's what we do: Turn 4 drums Re-arc shoes Replape brake shoes and linings on all four wheels Repack front wheel bearings Check and top-up master cylinder Adjust and set brakes Quality control test Safety check parking brake SPECIAL 3 9 « REGULAR 48.00 (Disc Brakes Extra) WHEEL ALIGNMENT Here's what we do: • Set caster, camber, toe-in to factory specifications • Check steering box • Inspect and report on steering linkage condition • Inspect and report on front suspension parts ' Torsion bars SPECIAL T .9 5 B MOST CARS REGULAR 11.95 extra TU N E -U P S P K IA L TUNE-UFfcNOW AND SAVE Here% what Ire do: * resistor plugs extra PLUS, GULF GUARANTEED PARTS & LABOUR 4,000 mile 90 day guarantee. ABOVE OFFERS AVAILABLE ONLY AT: Gulf Service Centre 1334 Dundas St. E. (Dixie & Dundas E.) Mississauga Phone; 279-4853- Gulf Service Centre 3680 Hurontario Street (Hwy. 10 & Burnhamthorpe) Mississauga Phone; 279-4212 Holiday Inn Gulf 350 Iroquois Shore Road Oakville Phone: 845-9911 ABOVE OFFERS EXPIRE JUNE 30 , 1974