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6 Oakville Beaver Weekend Sunday June 13, 1999 The Oakville Beaver Ian Oliver Publisher Neil Oliver, Associate Publisher Norman Alexander Editor Kelly Montague, Advertising D irector Martin Doherty Circulation D irector Ten Casas Office Manager Mark Dills Production Manager Riziero Vertolli Photography D irector Metrobnd Printing, Pubfching & Distributing Ltd., includes: Ajax/Ffckering Navs Advertiser, A lston Herald/Courier. Barrie Advance, Barry!s Bay This Week. Bolton Enterprise, Brampton Guardian. Burlington Post, Burington Shopping News, City Parent, CoIngwoocWVbsaga Connection, East Ybrk Mirror, Erin Advocata/Couritry Routes, Etobicoke Guardian. Flamborough Post Georgetown Independent/Acton Free Press, Huroma Business Tmes, Kingston This Week, Lindsay This Week, Markham Ecnomist & Sun. 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Scarborough Mirror, StouffviaUxbndge Tribune, Forever Nbung, Q ty ot M^rk Guardian 467 Speers Rd., Oakville Ont L6K 3S4 (905) 845-3824 Fax: 337-5567 RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY: Ontario Community Newspapers Association S K \ Newspapers ot America THE OAKVILLE BEAVER IS PROUD OFFICIAL MEDIA SPONSOR FOR: E d i t o r i a l s Home sweet home There's a certain degree of irony that a conference on homelessness was held Friday in Oakville. r „ Aside from the fact that there's virtually no m 52 pages expounding - homeless people in town, despite riding redistribu- on various issues, I tion, O akville still has tw o Progressive f r , ■ „ I Conservative MPPs to look after our needs at th e w w d h m ts n f f I Queen's Park. Gary Carr represents the Oakville is n 't even I riding while Halton is the domain of Ted Chudleigh, m entioned . I both were re-elected on June 3rd. Luckily for both men, homelessness isn't an issue here, since the Tories not only don't see it as a problem, they haven't even acknowledged it exists. That's the only conclusion to be drawn after poring over party's platform outlined in 'Blueprint-Mike Harris' Plan To Keep Ontario On The Right Track'. In 52 pages expounding on various issues, the word housing isn't even mentioned. Sure, there's lots about welfare, education, social services and even hunting and fishing, but nothing about where low income or disadvantaged Ontarians can live. Given the fis­ cal thrust of the document, we can only assume the Harris government solution is for everyone to get a job and find their own housing. Perhaps someone should remind the premier about the Golden Task Force on Homelessness, chaired by Anne Golden and its suggestions on what might be done to address the issue. The Liberals proposed action in their '20/20 Plan' that included more housing for psychiatric patients and those with special needs. And since it's obvious developers won't construct low cost housing due to the cost per unit, we like the Liberal plan that would see provincial tax rebates on building materials used in such projects and asking the feds to rebate the GST on such development The New Democratic Party also acknowledged that housing reform is needed. The very basic requirement of Ontarians is shelter. Surely it's time for the Tories to recognize that fact and act accordingly. In 52 pages expounding on various issues, th e w ord housing isn 't even m entioned . R e p o r t f r o m t h e b u n k e r . . . h e l p ! ! ! ! ! ! ! D ispatch m ust be brief. Life (or, at very least, mental health) in peril. U nder siege. Feeling full w rath o f heavy, b ru tal assault. S ounds like bom bs exp lo d in g overhead. Seems like enemy intent on bombing me back into Stone Age. S till, don 't blam e enemy. Gracious no. Blame wife. Because she decided (in her infinite w isdom ) and then con­ vinced me (in a moment of infinite insanity) that we could no longer dwell in our humble home with our current kitchen, which was, or so my wife and various fem ale friends apprised , ou tdated and really kind of yechy (curiously, not one m ale who en te red the kitchen in recent m onths could find a single reason for renovat­ ing!). Anyway, like fishes need w ater, like hum an beings need food, water, oxygen and portable cellphones, like Austin (Danger) Powers needs his mojo, we need­ ed, w ell, w here to begin? New cabinets, new flooring, new shut­ ters, new lighting, new this, and new that. Don't get me wrong. I 'm not n ecessa rily w h o lehearted ly opposed to newness, at least, not on a philosophical level. Indeed, the idea of a brand-spanking new kitchen sort o f appealed to me. Probably, because I spend a lot of tim e in the k itchen . Probably , p 11 i ANDY lil§.v \, ' |p t - ,M"fEp9L JUNIPER N 'h because I like to eat. In fact, I'll go so far as to admit that on more than one occasion I 'd enjoyed a wild fantasy about sneaking into that fancy new kitchen and stealth­ ily helping myself to a midnight snack. But what nobody told me, what everyone conveniently neglected to m ention, was what has now become obvious -- that in order to a tta in even a m ino r leve l o f kitchen newness, m ajor renova­ tions are needed. And renovations, I've sadly discovered, are way too much like aerobics: No pain, no gain! The pain portion o f the pro­ gram actually began before the renovation as we spent days just prepping the kitchen. O f course, we had to completely clear out the entire area. Do you have any idea how m uch s tu ff is s to red in a kitchen? We also had to get orga­ nized. Because the kitchen was going to be upside down for days and days, naturally leaving us with no functioning cooking and eating area, we had to determine how on earth we would prepare the three square m eals and innum erable snacks our offspring demand on a daily basis. Obviously, we were ■ going to be out to lunch. Not to mention breakfast and dinner. But all that was okay. A big headache, but okay. Then, yester­ day, the K ing o f Pain , as I 've com e to ca ll o u r co n trac to r, arrived and promptly proceeded to turn Home Sweet Home into some sort of Hearth of Darkness. Oh, yes, it's a war zone. As I write this from the slim sanctuary of my basement office, floors are being ripped up, old cupboards and the ceiling are coming down, and our poor hound, who only wants to lie down in her ever-so- comfy bed in what she considers to be her comer of the kitchen, is going in circles. The incredible chaos. The ungodly upheaval. The noise. Especially the noise. Did I mention that our hound is threat­ ening to sue all involved for emo­ tional pain and suffering? Did I mention that it sounds like bombs are going off directly overhead? And so where is my wife while all this kitchen carnage is going on? At her quiet office, downtown. Every so often, she calls in for an update. I update. Still under siege. Enemy assault. War is hell, baby. But, renovating's worse.