Ontario Community Newspapers

Oakville Beaver, 23 Feb 1994, p. 3

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[b. 23, 1994 oo many girls waiting or their own Big Sister The Oakville Big Sisters is runâ€" ng up a ‘tab‘ of Little Sisters. ore than 30 are awaiting a friend d confidante in a Big Sister. "We‘re not looking for someone th formal academic training but meone who is warm and caring d mature," said executive direcâ€" r, Jacqui Penson. "Mature and hble, that‘s very important." The Big Sisters requireâ€" ents differ somewhat om those of the Little others of Halton. In the hse of Little Brothers what is peded is a positive male role odel, something lacking in the bungsters‘ life. In the case of a ttle Sister, more than half come om motherâ€"led households, but ere are extenuating problems ch as a history of abuse or chavioural problems. Fiftyâ€"eight People question Debbie (not her al name) and accuse her of being n unfit mother. How could she be a good mom nd yet turn her daughter over to a Big Sister for supplementary supâ€" ort and nurturing? "I think it‘s because I am a good that I realize she needs omeone other than me," said ebbie, who left her abusive husâ€" fand four years ago taking her two hildren with her. But it wasn‘t a simple matter of eaving behind a horrific family ituation and life turning rosy; Debbie was on an emotional roller oaster and frequently in court. knew her daughter needed ore than what she could offer her motionally. "Court took everything out of e. I was exhausted," said Debbie. "She‘s (her daughter Katie) got wo different families with two otally different attitudes," she "She had to have someone ho was a little bit older, who fould understand what she‘s going hrough and believe what she ys." Debbie immediately turned to ig Sisters when she arrived in Dakville and was introduced to niversity student Teresa (not her eal name). "She (Katie) really needed omebody outside the family," said ig Sister Teresa. "My family situâ€" tion was very, very different from e one she had." In the twoâ€"andâ€"aâ€"half years Tatie has had a Big Sister, her shyâ€" iess has turned to self confidence hnd her selfâ€"esteem has vastly mproved. ‘"When she and I were together, he opened right up," said Teresa. ‘She‘s grown up a lot and she‘s ome out of her shell. She has a :reat social life, she‘s always roing to birthday parties." When she‘s out with Katie, said [eresa, they are completely isolatâ€" >d from family problems. "She doesn‘t have to think ibout them," said Teresa who says he and her Little Sister go to the ark, play Barbies or do homework ogether. LOOK WHO‘S Trudi Scott Happy B1rthday Mom, Denms Kelly ’Watch For These | Sales Circulars TODAY‘S DELIVERY * Woolco e Pharma Plus *Sears *Sears e Sears * Partial Delivery THE OAKVILLE BEAVER 467 SPEERS RD., OAKVILLE 845â€"9742 or 845â€"3824 Stories by Kathy Yanchus Oakville Beaver Staff per cent of Little Sisters come from broken homes. A lot of people are unaware of the special needs of Little Sisters, said Penson adding that potential Big Sisters go through an extensive screening process before being matched ,as well as attend two training sessions where child abuse prevention is dealt with. "One in four has a hisâ€" tory of sexual abuse," said Penson. Probably another 60% have endured another type of abuse be it emotional or physical or neglect." "Some of it has been in the past," she added. The figures are high for the organization which usually averâ€" ages 10 to 12 on a waiting list, said Penson. Penson attributes the drop in Teresa has provided Katie with the role model she needed and instead of talking about wanting to die, she is planning for the future, talking about university and driving lessons, said Debbie. "She needs a constant in her life," said Debbie. "I don‘t know how she does it (copes) someâ€" times. I know I need all the help I can get." Debbie said when she spoke to tor y see 0““‘)90%% \ts, 3 6\ 3P\ ‘s 2\_3(“% \“s\a\\fl“““ THE OAKVILLE BEAVER Big Sister Tracy Wilkins and her Little Sister Denise: relationship is a winâ€"win situation. Big Sisters to busy times. Women take on a larger share of the burden when it comes to home and work, said Penson adding there are also a lot of single mothers with schedules that don‘t permit the time or energy to take on the committment of a Little Sister. Although Big Sisters would preâ€" fer to increase their numbers of Big Sisters, they do offer an alternative Big Sister relationship a special bond Big Sisters she emphasized the critical need to get the right perâ€" son the first time and she is happy the way it‘s worked out. "I only hope people read this and understand the impact they can have on a little girl," said Debbie. "It‘s a very rewarding experiâ€" ence," added Teresa. "I don‘t feel bound into something. It‘s glvo:n1 me a lot; 1t feels good." Lakeshore.Rd program for women who don‘t have the time to commit to a weekâ€" ly get together. Called the Special Events program, women take Little Sistersâ€"inâ€"waiting to planned monthly events. Penson stresses that a Big Sister should be prepared to hang in there a long time because trust doesn‘t happen overnight. "They have to care deeply for children. Hang in there and provide the support in the context of fun and friendship â€" they don‘t have to be social workers," she stressed. Little Sisters range in age from 4 to 16, the minimum age being lowered recently because of inforâ€" mation that emphasized the imporâ€" tance of early intervention and proâ€" vision of support. For more information on how to become a Big Sister, contact the Church Street office at 338â€"0238. ETIREMENT We are an independent Oakville firm Aptamnnmg +7 . _ _ RETIREMENT PLANNING RRSP‘S © INVESTMENT PLANNING Free Consultation 842â€"7602 Peter Warson Peter C. Watson MBA, CFP, RFP 2nd PAIR GLASSES!!* with purchase of complete pair * Single vision, clear from Selected Frames â€" may be upgraded to Sunglasses or Bifocals at minimal cost 845â€" 9908 125 CROSS AVE. sy 6 Fa gnt it mcaflba‘\‘ sm\mds Fe\‘ za\\\rg“ urday °* 7. 5“0“‘3“" 009 6 N* .ls of Summ‘ “Jud a Bwé\‘es‘ kcoflee co. a\\d‘ ervace All City d S from food con te Youth Centre 50% of Proce, be donalad: o Bron cession to Ten 525” Gift Certifi cates! d|aV F regisTEr * | _ TOWIN! Phone DRAW WILL BE HELD 5:00 P.M. SAT., FEB. 26/94 Winners wm be notified by mail or telephone dun the week beginning Feb. 28. Prizes must be accept offered, Not redeemable for cash and not mcluswe oi taxes. Bronte Village Mall management, merchants, ge and their employees are ineligible to enter. [

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