29 | Thursday, February 2, 2 0 1 7 | Health fo r men and the partners they care for. A success "Connected to your Community " Riding Shotgun aims to make husbands better caregivers by Melanie Cummings Special to Oakville Beaver It' s been 165 billion seconds since the Kerr fam ily' s world turned upside down at the news that a rare form of breast cancer had invaded Katie' s body The wife and mother of two young boys was just 36 years old at the time. "It was like getting hit by a baseball bat up side the head," said dad and husband, Don, of that day on Nov. 3, 2011 when the family doctor called him with the news. "At the outset I realized I hadn' t a clue what to do. I was shocked, angry and depressed," said Don. When the numbing fog lifted a few weeks lat er, he searched high and low for information and advice about ways he could help Katie, Samuel, 2, and Gabriel, 4, through the morass. There was nothing then. But there is now. Don turned to blogging, a familiar medium for the Burlington storyteller. The family' s year long ordeal of traversing through surgeries, chemo and radiation, is now captured in a "raw and honest" book called Riding Shotgun --A book ful crowdfunding campaign in September 2016 generated more than $7,000 to pay for the book' s initial printing costs. Its official launch on Saturday (Feb. 4), at McLachlan College in Oakville, coincides with World Cancer Day. Writing about the family' s experience was at hrst cathartic for Don, who then used the blog to keep friends and family informed every step of the way. "Men are hardwired to want to try to hx things," he said. "And not show vulnerability." The blog was Don' s way of exposing fears and frustrations so that he might help others fear lessly share theirs. Considering that 10 per cent of all men in Canada -- about 1.5 million -- are family care givers, according to the Canadian Caregiver Co alition, it' s an important stigma that needs to be erased. While trying to figure out how to be useful through the ordeal, the most important lesson Don learned was to "shut up and listen." He took on the roles of a primary caregiver: as appointment keeper, gatekeeper, medicine man, Burlington husband and father of two-turned author Don Kerr has taken his experience of not being at all prepared to help his wife cope with a 2011 cancer diagnosis into a book called Riding Shotgun. Intended to assist other men who find themselves in similar situations. Kerr is launching the book in Oakville on Saturday (World Cancer Day). | Submitted photo grocery shopper and more. But in the process he had to learn to take care of himself too, to avoid caregiver fatigue. "You will blow it and won' t be successful at do ing it all but it' s OK," Don assures other caregiv ers. "Forgive yourself those mistakes and move on." Asking for and accepting help from family and friends keeps those feelings of being over whelmed at bay, he advises. While Katie recently was given the f ve-year all clear, meaning she is cancer-free, the Kerrs are adapting to their "new normal," said Don. For those caregivers, male and female alike, Don hopes his book will at least provide them with some worthwhile empathy, guidance and in sights. Saturday' s book launch at MacLachlan College in Oakville begins at 3 p.m. and includes speak ers and music. For more information, email don@donkerrwrites.com. The theme of Riding Shotgun is in keeping with that of World Cancer Day this year. The tagline ` We Can. I Can' urges all people to take action to reduce the impact cancer has on individuals, families and communities. 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