Ontario Community Newspapers

Oakville Beaver, 2 Feb 2017, p. 9

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9 | Thursday, February 2 , 2 0 1 7 | OAKVILLE BEAVER | w ww.insideHALTO N.com Wahidi had fourth encounter with suicidal thoughts last August continued from p.6 Wahidi said that' s how she felt. "I had a crisis of faith. `God, where are you? I' m begging you, I can' t take this anymore'," she said of her fragile state of mind. In August 2016, Wahidi had her fourth en counter with suicidal thoughts. She called Paul Millar, a longtime friend who is the director of community outreach with Oakville' s Forest View Church. "Mina instigated it; it was a cry for help," said Millar, who spoke to Metroland with the permis sion, and on the suggestion, of Wahidi. "She was very broken at that moment. She was as broken as I've ever seen her. I met her in an of fice in her building. I listened to Mina and prayed with her and gave her some direction and people to talk to," he said of their hour-long talk. "I recognized some deep healing that needed to happen in her life." Millar says he admires Wahidi. "She loves people and is a champion for the underdog more than anyone I know." Wahidi wants people not to judge those con templating what is normally a taboo subject. "When I wanted to end my life I wanted to do it so badly, but there was a fight in me. ` Who was I to kill myself?'I wanted to fight it. "(But) I want people to know that if someone they loved ended their life, please don' t blame them. They just could not take the pain anymore. Please forgive them. We never set out to hurt any one; it' s just the pain is too much." There were a number of factors that contrib uted to Wahidi' s depression. There is sad irony in the founder of the Com passion Society food and clothing charity has, at times, had to use food banks to supplement the food intake for her and her three children. "I was always in a struggle to provide for my children." Aside from Sarah, 17, Wahidi has another daughter, Mariam, 12, and son Bilal, 14. She shares custody of them with her ex-husband, a longtime Canadian resident and native of Af ghanistan whom she met while she worked in security at the Bramalea City Centre in the mid1990s. They married in 1998. Wahidi grew up Roman Catholic, but converted to Islam when she got married. Around 2011, the time of her marriage break down, concurrent pressures in her life began to take their toll. "Depression plus poverty is a bitch," she ob served. Wahidi even had to resort to selling some of her furniture. "I had sold just about everything I could sell. People who have never been poor just don' t get it," she said. Childhood difficult for Wahidi Born Wilhelmina Mary Devoy in Brighton in southwest England in 1967, `Mina'grew up in Brampton attending St. Mary' s elementary and Cardinal Leger high school. Her parents are father Desmond and moth er Dympna. She has three much younger sib lings, sister Dympna and brothers Kieran and Desmond. She says her depression has particularly ad versely affected her relationship with her sister. "I noticed myself withdrawing and not an swering calls. I didn' t have anything good to say so why would I want to talk." She sees and speaks regularly with her 70-year-old father. "My dad is an amazing man. He'd help me out paying some of my bills." Wahidi said looking back, she knew her mother had serious mental health issues. She wasn' t diagnosed as being manic bipolar until she was 63 years old. The signs were there, however, decades ear lier. "She would be in bed for three days. She would lock herself in the bathroom," and there was the daytime drinking as well. "She tried to kill herself a few times," said Wahidi. "I was 13 when my siblings started to be born, so I took the brunt of it (abuse) from my mom." The most terrifying incident Wahidi recalls is her mother on top of her as nine-year-old trying to suffocate her with a pillow in their house. Her father happened to come into the room and pulled the mother off her. "Because my mother' s illness was not ad dressed, it affected me and my sister and brothers." see Wahidi on p. 11 NOW ON VIEW AT OAKVILLE GALLERIES ETELADNAN: SEA AND FOG O akville G a lle rie s in G a irlo ch G a rd en s Free guided tour: S aturd ay 4 February, 2:00 pm LES LEVINE: TRANSMEDIA O a kville G a lle rie s at C e n te n n ia l S q u a re Free guided tou r: T h u rs d a y 23 February, 7:00 pm O pen T u e sd a y to S u n d a y | A d m is sio n is free Og2 Oakville galleries WWW.OAKVILLEGALLERIES.COM Etel Adnan, Untitled, 2014, oil on canvas. Courtesy of the artist and Galerle Lelong, Paris. The Genuine.T he Original. \P P L E B Y SYSTEM S FIREPLACE, HEATING &AIR CONDITIONING CONTRACTORS -- Courtyard C ollection The b e a u ty o f w o o d w ith th e d u ra b ility o f steel. OAKVILLE 905.825.1893 BURLINGTON905.335.3203 2086 SPEERS RD., OAKVILLE C o m e S e e O ur SH O W RO O M M on - Fri. 8a m - 5pm ; Saturday 11am - 4pm 5450 Harvester Road, Burlington Overhead Door (Hamilton-Burlington) Ltd. 905-333-1772 info@overheaddoorburlington.ca overheaddoorburlington.ca www.applebysystems.ca

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