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8 - Orono Times, Wednesday, Februaiy 5,2003 ,1 VK \ "ir Basic Black 1| by Arthur Black lilliii They're everywhere! They're everywhere! "If we are on the outside, we assume a conspiracy is the perfect working of a scheme. Silent, nameless men with unadorned hearts. A conspiracy conspiracy is everything that ordinary life is not. " Don DeLillo If you knew just where to look, high in the virtually uninhabited, wind-scoured peaks of the Chilean Andes, you would find a curious installation. It's an austere building that glows ghostly white in the moonlight, definitely definitely man-made, but unlike anything else man has ever made anywhere. Inside the building you would find four massive, articulated mirrors, each of them nearly 30 feet in diameter. They are linked together by optical fibres and they are attended twenty-four hours a day by a team of fussy and vigilant astronomers and technicians, all of them imported from Europe. This is the world's one and only VLT. Nothing very mysterious about the letters - they stand for Very Large Telescope and indeed it is. It's the .most powerful telescope ever invented, capable of isolating a single human hair ten miles away. Very shortly, the astronomers will crank the VLT around until it's point-* ing towards the moon. They will fine-tune the resolution knobs and see if they can spot any of the six lunar modules that NASA put up there more than 30 years ago. Isn't that a lot of trouble to go to, just to scope out some long-discarded space junk? Well, yes, but the folks at NASA are hoping that new photographic evidence of old NASA equipment collecting moon dust up yonder will finally shut up a small but vociferous group of people who insist that all those old moon landings were faked. That's right - there are still human beings with actual voting privileges who believe that no human ever touched the lunar surface. That it was all a phony Hollywood back- lot charade shot in the wilds of Arizona by NASA to convince convince the world the Yanks had beaten Russia in the race to the moon. Those live voice transmissions transmissions from the astronauts? Recorded in a sound studio in Phoenix: The photos of. Earth? An artist's impression - probably a Disney flack. The conversations with the President and Walter Cronkite? Well, Walter was in on the hoax, of course - and you know what Tricky Dick was like. I hope the scientists don't waste a lot of time looking for evidence of the space buggies because the Loony Fringe will pooh-pooh whatever whatever they ; find as doctored photos anyway. Debating with conspiracy theorists is like playing WhackAMole: shoot down one of their 'facts' and they pop up with three new ones. That's the one great thing about being paranoid: it provides an answer for all those things you could never figure out. What is it that compels the conspiracy-prone to chuck all logic and embrace the most nonsensical notions? How can sane people seriously entertain the belief that Princess Di was a victim of an assassination engineered by the British Royal Family? In ÏÜ E Northcutt Elliott Funeral Home THOUGHTFULNESS, SERVICE & CONCERN A Family Owned Business, Offering: Traditional Funeral Services Pre-arranged & Prepaid Services - Cremation Arrangements Alternatives to Traditional Funerals - Out of Town Shipping CORY KUIPERS - PRESIDENT 53 Division Street 905-623-5668 Bowmanville. Ontario LIC 2/8 0FF STRFFT PARKING Sutton Group Dynamic Direct Line: 905-697-1700 E-mail: rinskeeasa@rogers.com REDUCED $100,000 -- now $194,900 °° 3 BDR - 3 washroom beauty, MBR-ensuite and w/i closet, family room with w/o to balcony. balcony. 23 Bridges Drive, Newcastle Rinske Easa, Sales Representative Sutton Group Dynamic 905-983-5100 Thinking of Selling or Buying Real Estate? "Call me today; I am only a block away. " That AIDS was created in a secret CIA laboratory as a means of keeping the blacks down? That Elvis is actually alive and delivering takeout at a pizza joint in Kansas? What the hell's the matter with their brains? I don't know, but it's spreading. As you read this, French consumers are hunched over their copies of a book called L'Enfroyable Imposture - "The Horrible Fraud". In it, the author asserts that there was no plane that crashed into The Pentagon on September 11th. Nope, that was actually a deliberate internal bombing masterminded by the Oval Office to abort an attempted takeover by rebel forces within the U.S. Military. JJ 0RT | |Q,,£ Aj tEA Initiative The book is on the French best-seller list. Not surprisingly, the conspiracy conspiracy virus has found a fecund Petri dish in the la-la land of Hollywood. Last year, actor Richard Belzer published a largely incoherent incoherent book of his conspiracy theories. Barbara Streisand recently hinted darkly that the plane crash that killed Senator Paul Wellstone was 'no accident'. And Brad Pitt's friends say he's become obsessed with intruders. Apparently Pitt frequently sits Up all night watching videos from the home-security home-security system that protects his 11-acre California compound. compound. "He's become obsessed with the idea that someone is sneaking on to the property," says a friend. "He gets up about every three hours to check the monitors and replay the video." Chill, Brad. It's probably just Elvis with your vegetarian vegetarian all-dressed pizza. St. George's Anglican Church Valentine Tea Pie Sale & Nearly New Clothes Saturday, February 15 11:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. Parish Hall Mill & Edward Sts. Newcastle Come out and buy your favorite pie, new-to-you clothes and then stay and enjoy a delicious bowl of soup, sandwiches and squares for only $6.00 EVERYONE WELCOME MS lives here. Society of Canada 1-800'268'7582 www.mssociety.ca Moving Ahead Protecting flora and fauna ay the word "environment" and what likely pops into your mind is plant and animal life -- flora and fauna. Protecting the multi-faceted local I environment-is the goal of the Port Hope Area'Initiative. All components of the local environment will be assessed before the Low-Level Radioactive Waste Management Office (LLRWMO) begins clean-up and consolidation activities related to the projects. Biologists from AMEC Earth and Environmental, und c r the direction of the LLRWMO, are busy compiling information on vegetation and wildlife in the Port Hope and Port Granby areas. This information will be used to establish baseline data that will give the LLRWMO a clear picture of the abundance and distribution of various species of plants and animals prior to the start of the clean-up work. The baseline data will also be used to determine how best to protect the terrestrial environment during waste management activities. Four components to study "There arc four components to the terrestrial study," Dr. Bernard Lcbcau, senior biologist and AMEC project manager explains, "Wc look at vegetation communities and species: at wildlife habitat; at wildlife communities and species; and at natural heritage systems." In other words, they study individual species, the habitats in which those species thrive, and the relationship of those habitats to the entire local environment. They do this by reviewing relevant historic data on the Port Granby and Port Hope areas, gathering current local knowledge and by taking field samples from existing plants and animals. Special note is taken of ANSIs (Areas of Natural and Scientific Interest) identified by the Province of Ontario and Identifying species and their interaction is important to the environmental biologists studying the local area. Information ESAs (Environmentally 1 Significant/ Sensitive Areas), designated by the local Conservation Authority. Examples of local ANSIs are Chrysler Point Bluffs and Wesleyville Marsh. ESAs in the area include Gages' Creek Mouth and the Port Hope Woods (Alexander Street Ravine). Tissue samples are collected from plant and animal species and analyzed for metals and radionuclides, according to Dr. Lebeau. Data from the tissue analyses are recorded to be used as a reference for future studies. Information collected by AMEC will also be used to propose a preliminary list of • Valued Ecosystem Components (VECs). These VECs will be developed further at public workshops later this spring, the studies of from existing species, particularly VECs, will assist the LLRWMO in assessing the significance of likely effects of the Port Hope and Port Granby Projects. ^ The big picture The terrestrial study is just one of r five current environmental baseline studies under way as part of the Port Hope Area Initiative for the consolidation and long-term management of historic low- level radioactive waste. The aquatic, atmospheric and geophysical studies have been described in previous Moving Ahead columns. The socio-economic study will be profiled in an upcoming column. JJ I'uiti lliii'i Am Initiuixt Moving Ahead This regular column is published by the Low-Level Radioactive Waste Management Office to inform local residents of progress on the clean-up and safe longterm longterm storage of low-level radioactive waste in the area, For copies of this column or additional information call 905 885-0291, or visit the Project Information Exchange at 110 Walton.Street in Port Hope. Visit the Project Information lixeliange, 110 Walton Street, Port Hope, 1:00-5:00 Monday to Friday Call (905) 885 0291 Visit our website: www.llrwmo.org -- Soon (0 have a new look