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" “\Afi - Aâ€"v-ow- Q.“ proud" . 'I‘ \ r * An Amelioraiing Idea. .â€"â€"â€" WHICH HAS UNFORTUNATELY AT LEAST ONE DRATVBACK. He was a qua'nt appearing man with a stubby chin whisker and blue spec- tacles. “ I am a member, sir,” he said, “ of the Society For the Amelioration of Man’s Cruel Conditions.” “Very commendable, indeed,” mur- mured the editor, “ though a trifle lengthy.” “ Yes,” continued the stranger, “ and 'I have called upon you for the purpose of asking your -”â€" “ You really must excuse me today,” said the editor, with considerable haste. “I have so, many calls upon "â€"- â€"“ ofasking you to advance the cause of our society by giving publicity to a little ameliorating scheme of my own humble invention.” “ Fire away,” said the editor in a re- . lieved tone. “ You have heard, of course, of these weruel dumdum bullets,” resumed the stranger. “ It was the dumdum bullet :that put the ameliorating idea in my head. The dumdnm, as you know, ex- :pands when it strikes, making a most -:dreadful wound. My idea is to sub- ~stitute something that will also expand :-‘but without inflicting such shocking tmuts'lations. I have hit upon dried ;.-e.ppies,."’ - “ Good,” said the editor. «"‘ Salted dried apples.” '-“ Very good,” said the editor. “When the salted dried apples, fired from a rifle in dissolving capsules, pene- rate a victim, ‘ he will presently feel thirsty. It’s the salt, of course. He drinks voraciously, and the dried apples expand, whereupon you have the very same result that follows the use of the dumdum bullet, but without its ex~ treme cruelty. Neble scheme, isn’t it ? ” “ Noble, indeed,” said the editor. It’s a lovely scheme. But why stop at -dried apples? Why not experiment «with olives and green plums and board- ing house prunes and compressed sponges ? ” The stranger faintly laughed. “ I thought you would be interested,” he said. “ It is a scheme that appeals nto all truly benevolent hearts." He paused and coughed convulsively. “ You must excuse me,” he said, when he caught his breath, “ But in experiment- ing to-day I swallowed several salted dried apples and have a terrible thirst. Could you aid me in assuaging it to the extent of a nickel ?" - The editor could and didâ€"Cleveland .I’luin Dealer. '. The Saleslady’s Romance. â€"â€" . ANOTHER LITTLE CASE OF TWO HEARTS THAT BEAT AS ONE. “Yes, I’m in the necktie department snow. I like it ever so much better :than selling ribbons. Men are so much "easier to suit than women. All you’ve got to do is smile at them and you can .sell them any old thing. The women will finger over the whole stock and not buy 10 cents’ worthâ€"just as if a lady 4had nothing to do but show goods. Be- .» sides, I didn’t like the floorwalker in :thc ribbon department. The one we’ve :got new is lovely. His name is Perkins, 'Horatio Perkins, and he’s just a swell. Looks like :1 lord or a duke in one of :those Fireside Companion stories. “And say, can you keep a secret? He'sâ€"you won’t tell a soulâ€"well, he’s Evin love with me! No, he hasn’t said -so yet, but I can tell by the way he looks at meâ€"never takes his eyes ofl“ me from morning to night. He’s jeal- ous, too. and that’s a sure Sign. You .ought to’ve seen him yesterday when George came in to invite me to the bill poster-’5 ball. Georgeâ€"he’s my old steady, you knowwwell, he and I were -.standing there talking when Horatioâ€" I mean Mr. Perkinsâ€"came along. “ He gave me an awful fierce look, but I never let on that I saw him, but just kept right on talking. Then he stepped right up to me and says, his voice quivering with suppressed emo- tion, just like the lovers in Laura Jean Libbey’s books, he says: ' Miss Robin- son,‘ he says. ‘ are you aware that there are halt a dozen customers waiting for you ?’ '- I know he only said that so as not to betray his real feelings. because when I turned around there weren’t. any six cnsruniers there at all. There were only four.” 0.. The Broker's Wifeâ€"What kept you down town so late to-day? The Brokerâ€"New typewriter. “ blow, is she?” " Well, I should say not! ” " Has my daughter, sir,” demanded tin: rltl‘ll lather, “ ever given you reason to tlulllk she would listen to a prOposal 0f marriage from )‘011 T n . . ‘- Well,” said the young man, twn'hng his hat in his hand in an embarrassed manner, " except that she calls me ‘ dat‘ling’ and always kisses me when I bid h'erigood night, I can’t say that she n ‘35 Estray Cattle. Game on to the premises of the subscrib- er, Lot No. 33, Front Range, Somervxlle, in June last, two yearlingHeifers and one yearling Steer. The owner can have them upon proving property and paying charges. BENJAMIN BURTCHAELL. Somerville, Oct. 8th, 1900. 35-4‘ BULBS. Nothing is more delightful in the winter than a choice collection of flow- ers. You con have them at a very small price if you obtain a. few of our choice bulbs. We have the following: Chinese Sacred Lillies, Double and Siulge Hyacinths, Roman and Miniature Hyacinths, Easter Lillies, Narcissus, Ornithogulum Arabicum, etc. Robson’s Drug Store, FENELON FALLS. A GRAND , ASSORTMENT OF Horse Blankets, Trunks and. 'V'alises AT NEVISON’S HARNESS SHOP. Collars War-ranted. Agent for Pianos and Organs. KAWAR'IEA LAKES. The TRENT VALLEY NAVIGATION 60., LIMITED. Commencing Monday, October ist. “ESTURION.” Leave Bobcaygeon 8.00 a.m. Arrive Lindsay 10 30 a. m. Leave Lindsay 3.00 p. m. Arrive Bobcaygeon 5.30 p. m. Calling at Sturgeon Point on signal only. Meals are served on the Esturion. 20 and 50 Trip Tickets for families may be had at reduced rates at the Office of the Company or of W. H.,’Hamilton, Bobcay geon. Lindsay Agent, Geo Wilder, G. T R. Town Ticket Agent, Express Office. To Dairy Farmers. The Alpha Disc De Laval Cream Separ- ator took the Grand Prize at the Paris Ex- position, and is used by all leading dairy- men throughout the Province. Can be seen at the implement shed of the under- signed, who has been appointed sole agent for this district. JOHN NORTHEY, Colborne St. Fenelon Falls, Sept. 27th, 1900. Good Furniture Is always cheap furniture in the long run. Looks better. Wears better. Gives better satisfaction. I have the best and largest stock of furniture of all kinds, from the best manufacturers in the province consisting of â€"â€"DlNING ROOM FURNITURE -â€"BEDROOM SETS -â€"-EASY CHAIRS, -â€"ROCKERS, -â€"LOUNGES, â€"SIDEBOARDS, -â€"SPRINGS AND MATTRASSES, â€"KITCHEN FURNITURE (all kinds,) and prices are away ClOWn. Repairing and all ordered work promptly attended to. W Undertaking in all its branches. L. DEYMAN. Dr. T. P. MCCULLOUGH, Specialist, EYE, EAR. NOSE and THROAT. Will visit Simpson House, Lindsay, every Wednesday Hours, 10 a. m. to 4 p. m Consal-- «a, ear, nose and throat. Per» . . i - . George and Murray , y”: .\ . Get Your Millinery NOW. Prices away down, as goods on hand must go to make room for a large and beautiful stock of millinery which will be to hand in the space of a week. Mrs. J. A. MacDougall. THE Newest S ND Lowest I tyles Prices N Lndies’ Goats, Bress Goods, ~ and Fine Millinery. The Best Fitting Jacket in Town, at This is an opportunity to all should avail themselves. SELLING OFF. As I Wish to close up my business in Fenelon Falls as soon as possible, all the goods in the store will be sold REGARDLESS of COST. obtain great" bargains of which Game to the Special Sale on Saturday. 8. NEVISON. LOK AT THlS. GrR0 SERIES DEPARTMENT. We desire to call your attention to the following line or goods, just received : Choice Cleaned Currants; Choice Seeded Raisins, one pound packages Valencia Raisins; Sultana Raisins. (East Brand); Fine Filiated urrants; Seected A full stock of Crosse & Backwell’s Peels; Soft-shell Almonds; Shelled Grenoble VVa-l- nuts; Shelled Almonds. CROCKERY DEPARTMENT. Toilet and Dinner Sets. For the next two weeks we will offer special value in these goods; also a large stock of Fancy Goods, Lamps etc. BOOT AND SHOE DEPARTMENT. A full line of the best goods and latest styles money can buy. READY-MADE CLOTHING DEPARTMENT. Call and see our Men’s, Yo line of Ulsters and Overcoats. uths’ and Boys’ Suits, also a nice These are only a few of the lines of new goods just placed in stock. You are invited to take a. close look through the stocks and compare prices whether you buy or not. Our 250. Tea is immense value. JCS. MQFARLAND 1313515139111 ‘ S OCT ETIES- 1 NIGHTS OF TENTED MACCA'BEES Diamond ’l‘cnt No. 208. Meets in the True Blue hall in McArthur’s Block on the first and third Tuesday in each month. CHAS. Wise, Com. 0 W. Buueorsn, R. K. ANADIAN ORDER OF ODDFELLOWS Trent-Valley Lodge No. 71. Meet in the Orange hall on Francis street west on the first and third Mondays in each month R. M. Mason, N G. J. '1‘. THOMPSON JR., Sec. 0.1.. No. 996. MEET IN THE ORANGE . hall on Francis-St. West. on the second Tuesday in every month. J. J. ansou, W. M. Tnos. JOllNS'PON,!Rec-Sec. â€" NDEPENDENT ORDER of FORESTERS. Court Phoenix No. 182. Meet on the last Monday of each month, in the True Blue hall in McArthur’s Block. R. Docmurv, Chief“ Ranger. SAMUEL ELLERY, R. S. CANADIAN ORDER OF FORESTERS, / Font-loll Falls Lodge No 626. Meets in‘bthc Orange Hall on Francis street west on the first Thursday of each month. Tnno. Jor, Chief Ranger, 1’. DEYMAN, Sec. ANADIAN HOME CIRCLES. FENE LON Falls Circle No. 127, meets in the True Blue hall in McArthur’s Block the first Wednesday in every month. P. C. Bananas, Leader. R. B. Sernsrsu, Secretary. F.AND A. M., G. R. C. THE SPRV r . Lodge No. 406. Meets on the first ll ednesday ol‘each month,on or before the full of the moon, in the lodge room in Cunningham’s Block. H. H. GRAHAM, W. M. REV. W. Fauucoma, Secretary CHURCHES. )APTIST CHURCHâ€"QUEEN ST RE V .W. T. Roberts, Minister. Preaching Eervrces every Sunday at 10 30 a. m. and i p. m. Bible Class and Sunday School at :Z‘BO p. m. Praise and prayer service on lhursday at 8 p. m. __m_m B ETHODIST CHURCH -â€" COLBORN ‘ Streetâ€"Rev. R. H. Leitch, Pastor. Sunday service at 10.30 a. nuand 7 p. m Sabbath School at 2.30 p. m. Epwortli League of Christian Endeavor, Tuesday 'e‘vening at 8 o’clock. Prayer meeting on lhursday eveningat 7.30. T. ANDREW’S CHURCHâ€"COLBORNE Streetâ€"Rev. R. C. H. Sinclair, Pas- tor. Services every Sunday at 10.30 a. m and 7 p. in. Sunday School everv Sunqu at 2.30 p. in. Christian Endeavor meeting every Tuesday at 8 p. m. Pra er meetin every Thursday at 7.30 p. m. y g lALVATION ARMY â€"- BARRACKS ON _ Bond St. Westâ€"Capts. Barkerd: Dar- racli. Service every Thursday and Sat- urday evenings at 8 p. m., and on Sundavs at 7 a. m.,11a. m., 3 p. m. and 8 p. m. ‘ ST. ALOYSIUS R. C. CHURCHâ€"LOUISA Streetâ€"Rev. Father O’Leary, Pastor. Set-Vices every alternate Sunday at 10.30 a.m. Sunday School every Sunday at2 p. m M T. JAMES’S CHURCHâ€"BOND STREET Eastâ€" Rev. Wm. Farneomb, Pastor, Service every Sunday at 10.30 a. m. and 7 p. in. Sunday School every Sunday at 2.30 p. in. Bible class every Thursday evening at 7.30 o’clock. _ Seats free in all churches. Everybody muztedto attend. Strangers cordially welcomed MISCELLANEOUS. -.â€"_.â€"â€"â€"~.. URL TC LIBRARYâ€"PATRICK KELLY Librarian. Open daily, Sunde except: ed, from 10 o’clock a. m. till 10 p..m. Books exchanged on Tuesdays and Saturdays from 12 a.m. till 3 p. m.and in the evening from 7 to 9. Reading room in connection. POST-OFFICEâ€"F. J. KERR, PCSTMAS- ter. Open 'daily, Sundays excepted, from 7 30 a. m. to 7 p. in. Mail going south closes at 7.35 a. in. Mail going north closes at 11.25 a. in. Letters for registration must be posted half an hour previous to the time for closing the mails. NEWSPAPER LAW. 1. A postmaster is required to give notice by letter (returning the paper does not answer the law), when a. subscriber does not take his paper out of the oflice and state the reasons for its not being taken Any neglect to do so makes the postmaster responsible to the publisher for payment. 2. If any person orders his paper discon- tinned he must pay all arrearagcs, or the publisher may continue to send it until payment is made, and collect the whole amount, whether it is taken from the otlicc or not. There can be no legal discontinu- ance until the payment is made. Any person who takes a paper from the post-otlice, whether directed to his name or another, or whether he has sub- scribed or not, is responsible for the pay. 4. If a subscriber orders his paper to ‘be stopped at a certain time, and the ‘pub- lishcr continurs to send, the subscriber ia' bound to pay tor it if he takes it out of the post-office. This proceeds upon the ground that a man must pay for what he uses. 5. The courts have decided that refusing to take newspapers and periodicals from the post-olfice, or removing and leaving them uncalled for, is prima facie evidence I . of intentional fraud.