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The Arizona Kicker. HE ALLOWS A SUBORDINATE TO DRESS THE PUBLIC. AD- This article is not written by the ed- itor, publisher and proprietor of the Kicker, who is also Mayor, Territorial Editor, and a candidate for the Post- mastcrship, but by his agricultural edi- tor, whose salary is $7 per week and whose duties mainly consist of writing up biographies of the cactus and hunt- ing for a new breed of mule grass. The proprietor left for Tombstone the other day to meet an editor who had challeng- ed him to a game of draw pokerâ€"best three out of fiveâ€"$50 ante and no limit to the game. Our chief will return home with his hat on his ear and his mule on a dead runâ€"a conquering hero. We know it because he can do more blufiing on a pair of deuces than any man in Arizona on three aces. He will not only return with all the cash the Tombstone editor can rake and scrape, but with a valid mortgage for at least 81,000 Oh the newspaper outfit. Having been left in charge of the Kicker ofiice for a week, we shall pro- ceed to make this issue an ideal one. In the first place we desire to pay our Krespects to Colonel Saunderson, whom the people of this town were idiotic enough to make city clerk. He was never elected “Colonel” of anything excepts dcmijohn. We don’t know what state prison he hails from, but We feel mortally certain that he had from three to five years to serve when he es- caped. On various occasions he has visited the editorial rooms of this office and given us the cold out, and now we take pleasure in denouncing him as a snob, a cad, and a conceited idiot. Should he want anything of us before the editor returns, he will find us in the main sanctum, our heels on the desk and a double-barreled shotgun leaning against the wall within reach of our right hand. Next on the list comes the fat and fussy Judge Gilderslceve, whose object in coming to this locality was doubtless to lose his identity. We don’t know whether he stole a horse or a cow or ran away from his family, but he looks like a man who’d commit all three offences and rob a blind man to boot. If we can get the members of our vigilance committee together next week we shall advise that the Judge receive ofiicial notice to skip. office one day last week and observed in our hearing and for our benefit that an agricultural editor who could not command a salary of over $7 a week ' was poor guano for mule grass, be for- get that the wheel of time turns slowly round, but turns just the same. "When we entered this town last sum- mer, dead broke and a blister on every toe, that blatant idiot known as Joe Williams, who now represents the First 'Ward as Alderman, was funny drunk, as usual. He not only made sport of us as a tendcrfoot, but offered us half a dollar a day to go into a cage and be exhibited as “ the wild-eyed lunatic from New England.” Even after we had struck a job at the munificent salary spoken of he held us up to ridicule on the street and called usa red headed cactus. Alderman Williams, as we have his record before us, is a thief, embezzler and deadbeat from Iowa, and we’ll wager dollars to cents that he is arrested and taken east within two weeks Should the alderman come rushing over here, eyes bulging out and hair standing up, to square himself, he will find an agricultural editor dead to the call of mercy. He will open the door to find that shotgun pointing into his left eye. About two months since Mrs. General Caruthers of Apache Heights gave a swell birthday party. She had been in- troduced to us. While we are no hand at scraping and paying fine compliments, as is true of most agricultural editors devoted to their profession, Mrs. Car- uthers knew us to be respectable and worthy of an invitation. She not only gave us the cold cut, but we overheard her observethat it wouldâ€"embarrass her very much to have a person at her ban- quet board pull a pillow case from his pocket to wipe his mouth on. We bow- ed our head and received the cruel blow in silence. Itjarrcd us from top to bottom, and we have not felt well since, but the big wheel has also turned for Mrs. Caruthers. We now beg to an nouuce the fact that for several years previous to her entry into high society in this town she sang sad songs and passed around. a poor brand of lager beer in a concert hall in a town on the banks of the historical Mississippi river. Her husband, who has also taken occa- sion to snub us three or four times a week for the last two months, is a gambler. confidence man and all around swindlcr, and we don’t know grass seed irom grizzly bears if he doesn’t find it a good thing to make a change of climate in less than a fortnight. w M. QUAD. “- ~â€"â€"â€"- 1 -. . »â€"â€"___.__ .Carr. Swssunr, U. S A., San Diego,Cal.. says : ‘- Shiloh’s Catarrh Remedy is the first medicine I have ever found that would do meuuygood.” Price 50 cents. Sold by Bi. ‘1‘. Junkin. When he satin his ' A Wild Storm at Sea. ROUGH VOYAGE FROM CHINAâ€"A CARGO OF ZEBU BULLS, ELEPHANTS, CASSO- \VARIES AND PONIES. NEW YORK, FEB. 5.-â€"â€"'1‘he freight steamer Hankow dropped anchor below Liberty Island yesterday, after finish- ing the longest and stormiest voyage in the memoryof her skipper, Capt. West. She left Yokohama eighty days ago, touching at Hieogo, Shanghai, Foochow, Hong Kong and Singapore. Capt. west had as passengers ten zebu bulls, four- teen East Indian ponies, three East In- dian elephants and four rcastin casso- warics, consigned to the Barnum & Bailey show. The zebus Were confined in pens on the main deck forward with the ponies. Two of the elephants, a big male and a female, were chained below deck, and a 500-pouud infant had the liberty of a curtained cabin on the main deck. The Hankow passed Gibraltar on Jan. 17th. The sacred bulls and the elephants enjoyed the voyage until the low-sided freighter struck the east- ern edge of the gulf stream on Jan. 27th. Then the barometer tumbled down to 29.50, and the wind came wailing out of the south-east. It shifted to south and then to west and north- west, bringing down with it a touch of Labrador temperature, which made the zebus shiver. The wind howled, to the accompaniment of the trumpeting of the elephants and the dismal bellowing of the sacred bulls all day on Jan. 29th. There was a lofty cross sea, which Capt. West thinks might have overwhelmed the ship if she had been deeply laden. She rolled and pitched and strained as only i'reighters can, plunging her nose deep in the tumult and shipping tons of water. Capt. West slowed her down and brought her head to the wind. Fierce squalls hit her every now and then and drove her into the trough. At noon on Tuesday last the steam gearing gave way, and again the freighter drift- ed into the trough at the mercy of the waves. The crests were smoothed down somewhat by oil dropped from bags over the bow and stem. The rudder was lashed hard down with tackle made fast to the weather-bits, and the engines were set going just fast enough to keep the ship's head to the wind. When a giant wave impendcd the engines were stopped altogether, and the ship was al- lowed to ride the comber. ’l‘he gale was at its worst between 4 and 5 o’clock Wednesday morning, by which time the sacred bulls had become so benumbed and exhausted that they were unable to bellow; but the infant pachydcrm trumpeted shrilly, and his parents responded with thunderous bass. The wind blew the curtains apart, and the sacred bulls and the ponies were sent tumbling about the forward deck. Several seas came aboard over the star- board bow enclosure, and the bulls were dashed against bulwarks and deck fix- tures and killed. Several ponies were washed into the sea, and the carcasses of the bulls were pitched overboard when the storm moderated. Six of the fourteen ponies were either killed or swept into the sea. One of the casso- waries died of pneumonia and was thrown overboard. - The Hers ’8 Shoes. Probably there is no one line of busi~ ness in which so much bungling work is done as shoeing horses, especially for winter travelling, when frozen roads and ice abound. An hour spent in a black- smith shop, where a dozen or more horses are operated upon, reveals a great deal of ignorance and quackery. Invariably the toe and heel callts are made high, and generally too broad. They are made thus so they will wear longer, when the fact is, the opposite is the case. It should be borne in mind that, as a rule, the shorter, sharper and smaller the calks are, so long as they answer their purpose, the more effectual they will be, the longer they will last and the easier they will be for the horse. On ice, with high calks, no other part of the shoe touches; and it gives the animal a partial awkwardness as if walk- ing upon stilts, while small, sharp calks enter their length into the ice and the horse stands squarely upon his shoes. Most of the first wear of shoes with large calks comes upon the one at-tho toe ; but with small calks a share of this wear 'comes upon the rim of the shoe; hence sharp, small calks will last longer than large ones. High calks, while they con for no firmer footholdâ€"-and on very hard roads not so firmâ€"are a potent means of inflicting injury on botl. the foot it- sell'aud the limb also, says Dr. Wilson in Practical Farmer. It. is only from that portiOn of the hold which enters the ground surface that the horse de- rives any benefit in foothold ; and it must be apparent to the most ordinary observer, that long calks which do not penetrate the hard ground are so many levers put in his possession to compel him to wring his feet, rack his limbs and inflict untold tortures upon himself. â€"â€"-â€"â€"-'-â€"--0 - .â€" Thc sale of little green lizards for ornamants has been stopped by the S. P. C. A. of New York. ._AT__ Banners raters For Cash. llll SllKS. BillllN WillllS, AND ALL KINDS OF FANCY GOODS. Mas. HEELEY. ' J. Neelands, Dentist. Beautiful sets of Artificial Teeth inserted for $10, $12 and $14, according to quality of teeth and kind of plate. Imitation gold filling inserted in artificial teeth free of charge. Gas (vitalized air) and local unres- thetics used with great succsss for painless extraction. Visits the McArthur House, Fenelon Falls, the third Tuesday of every month. Call in the forenoon, if possible. Office in Lindsay nearly opposite the Simp- son House. MONEY TO LOAN. I have recently had a considerable, though limited, sum of money placed with me for loaning on farms at Five and a-half per cent. Parties wishing to borrow on these terms sh Juld not delay to make application. Large amounts of funds, at slightly higher rates, according to security. In most cases solicitor work is done at my office, insuring speed and moderate expenses. Allan S. Macdonell. . Barrister &c., Lindsay. EGAN. HENRY PEARCE respectfully informs his numerous old cus- toners and the public generally that. he has returned to Fenelon Falls and resumed The Boot and Shoe Business in the store lately occupied by Mr. S. Nevi son on the east side. of Colborne street, and hopes by turning out GOOD WORK AT LOW PRICES to obtain a fair share of patronage. 3%” Drop in, leave your measure and be convinced that he can do as well for you as any boot or shoemaker in the county. All kinds of REPAIRS EXECUCI‘ED with neatness and dcspatch. onions warn? H. D. MoCAF‘FREY is prepared to make. contracts for the purchase of good sound cedar poles during the present season, 30 feet and upward in length, anti for which TIIE IIIGIIEST GAS]! PRICES will be paid. For full particulars and specifications apply to J om: BRANDON or Hnuur Baooxs, Fenelon Falls. Wu. Susanna, Agent, Coboconlc. Cohocouk, Dec. 1st, 1893. A Great Offer. V The Gnome of Toronto is offering great inducements in connection with their week- 1y for 1891. To all subscribers who for- ward them one dollar by the end of Decem- ber inst., they will send The Weekly Globe for 1894, and, in addition, present them wi-h a copy of “Hints for the Million,” pu'llished by Messrs Rand, McNally & Co., the celebrated publishers of Chicago and New York. This work is an invaluable book of refer- ence and handy for the household, being a compendium of thousands of new and valu- able recipes and suggestions on hygiene, me liciuc, business affairs, travelling, the workshop, laboratory, house, kitchen, gar- de l, stable, etc. The regular selling price is 35c; it is worth one dollar. ,rnsss NOTICES. Useful to an inquisitive and economical housekeeper.â€"New York Sun. A book which will be found useful by everybody.â€"Boston Traveller. A very useful thing for a. handy person. â€"-New Orleans Picayune. The “Hints” are comprehensive enough, and the wonder is they aren’t called a ” Houwlmld Encyclopedia.” â€" Cincinnati Commercial Gazette. More useful information could not well be crowded in the same spaceâ€"Sun Fran- cisco Bulletin No well regulated household should be without a copy of “ Hints for the Million.” â€"Spirit of the Times. In a wonderfully compact form a vast amount of infortmttion "Manchester Union. The bank will be forwarded free of post- age. The oll‘ur is a in st liberal one, and should secure a. large increase in thc circu- lation of that old established and excellent newspaper. we turret ‘ ruf " armsâ€"â€" AT â€"~â€"«+â€"% A. CLARK & s, ’ AT ANS? PRICE X’OU LIIKE. «oomuoooooo oooo“o»coooou owooomo. a a... ALSO MEN’S AND BOYS’ OVERCOATS. BEAT LINDSAY PRICES ALL HOLLOW. EST MLU E. Fast Colored Gingu hams for 10c. Fast Colored Mus- lins for 100. Fast Colored. Prints for 10 cents. @ The freshest Goods in the village at Wm. Campbell’s. SEAS SET ALL KINDS OF Ali HARM ESS ....SADDLES.... -~-V.A.LISES.... ...-KENTâ€"ST-,.... unLINSDSAYwH EVERYTI’IING BELONGING TO THE SADDLERY AND HARNESS TRADE CONSTANTLY KEPTJN STOCK. REPAIRING DONE. ON SHORTEST NOTICE. LINDSAY ' Marble Works. I N S ERANCE. Mr. Wm. E. Ellis having transferred his Insurance Business to me, I am prepared to take risks on all classes of property At V'ery Lovvcst liates None but first-class British and Canadian Companies represented. â€"â€" W FARM PR.OPERTY at very low rates. James Arnold. SECOND DIVISION â€"â€"or runâ€"- County of VictOria. OOUHT The next sittings of the above Court will be held in Dickson’s hall, Fenelon Falls, ON MONDAY, FEB’Y 19ih, 1894, commencin at 10 o’clock in the forenoon 3 Thursday, Februaryflth will be the last day of service on defendants residing in this county. Defendants living in other coun- ties must be served on or before Feb. 3rd. S. Navxson, E. D. HAND, Bailiff. Clerk, Fenelon Falls, December 22nd, 1893. N'OCI‘ICE. To the residents of Fenelon Falls. Take notice that any person or persons removing from any village or district in- fected with diphtheria to Fenelon Falls will be quarantined fora period of 14 days or longer, a the discretion of the Board of Health. The citizens of Fenelon Falls who do not wish to be so inconvenienced will govern themselves accordingly. By order of the Board of Health. A. WILSON, M. I), Medical Health Oflicer Fenelon Falls, Feb’y 22nd, 1893. l-t. f. CAVEATSp TRADE MARKS. DESIGN PATENTS. COPYRIGHTS, etc For information and free Handbook write to MUNN A: 00.. 361 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. Oldest bureau for securing patents in America. Every patent taken out by us is brought before the public by auction given tree of charge in the somatic guerirau L est circulation of an scientific in the $3.1. Splendidly illns rated. Nopfigtezlligent man should be without it. Weekly .00 g ; $143051: months. Address 11 IN do 00. I’edunusnm. 361 Examiner. Ne" Von Citr- ‘ at: R. cnfiinnns as is prepared to furnish the people of Lllldf»_/' say and surrounding country with MONUMENTS AND HEADSTONES, both Marble and Granite. ~â€" Estiinates promptly given on all kinds ’of cemetery work. Marble Table Tops, Wash Tops, Mantel Pieces, etc., a specialty. WORKSâ€"1n rear 0 the market on Cam- bridge street, opposite Matthews’ pazking house. ' Being a practical workman all should see his designs and compare prices before purchasing elsewhere. HOBT. CHAMBERS. North of the Town Hall. HEADQUARTERS. IN VICTORIA COUNTY FOR Room Paper and Picture Frames â€"18 ML. w. A. GOODWIN’S, , Baker’s Block, Kent-sin, Lindsay. Artists’ Goods a Specialty. Machine Needles, Alabastine and Dve Works Agency. '- W Please call and see my 5c. Paper. David Chambers-,4 General Blacksmith, Francis-st, Fenelon Falls Blacksmithingln all its differenthrnnches done on short notice and at the lowest living prices. Particular-attention paid to horse-shoeing. Give me a. call and I will‘ guarantee satisfaction. 45-ly. The “ Fenelon Falls Gazette” is printed every Friday at the office, on the corner of May and Francis streets. SUBSCRIPTION $1 A YEAR IN ADVANCE, or one cent per week will he added as long as itremains unpaid. A dvertising 1%utes. I Professional or business cards, 50 cents per line per annum. Casual advertisements 8 cents per line for the first insertion, and, 2 cents per line for every subsequent inser- tion. Contracts by the year, half year less, upon reasonable terms. JOB PRIN TIN ' of all ordinary kinds executed I rectly and at moderate prices. ,- t. W‘" t,