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5.. -â€".â€". _....‘ -W‘mwv '. an thin she wint to the even an took it out an placed it on a platter on the table, an thinâ€"holy nturther, I’ll never McManns's New Year’s Call. Mr. Michael McManns related his trials and tribulations of last New Year's to a New York Herald reporter. He said : Oh. but I had an awful time of it on New Year's day. I shtarted out in the mornin’ to find out a fri'ud of mine from Dingleâ€"one Dinny Learyâ€"who left the Green Isle several years ago. I had his directions, and after a short search found him. Dicey has become a married man since he arrived here. He was pleased to meet me, an be introduced me to his better half, who was a very interesting lady. I must say. She insisted that I should have me dinner with herself an husband. Dinny, it appears, had won a 20 pound turkey at a raffle the night before, an they were gain to have it for dinner. She done uothin else hardly but talk about that turkey, an what an “ ilegant fowl it was," an, faith, I thought she’d shtart in an ate the bird up before it was cooked. Well. she was interrupted at last by a knock at the door. It seems a woman named Mrs. Heaphy, who lived over the way, sint her daugh- ter across to ask Mrs. Leary to come over an see the fine specimen of fowl she had got for a present. “ Shure,” says Mrs. Heaphy’s daugh- ter, “ our turkey looks like an ostrich, it’s so big. Why, that’s only a shparâ€" row,"she went on, as she pointed at Mrs. Leary‘s bird, which lay on the table ready to be put into the even. “ Put that turkey in to roast,” yelled Mrs. Leary to her husband as she shtarted out to see the size of the other fowl. Well. after she wint away Dinny be- gan to deliver a lecture on “ Marriage a Mistake," an he shtrengly advised me to beware of Hymin an told me he was a fraud. Sez be: “ My wife is an unhorned divil. She has my cranium like a reg. ular geographyâ€"all full of hills an mountainsâ€"an every now an thin she makes it look more natural by Iettin a soup plate fall down between a couple of hills an shtartin a shtreamt” Au, faith, his head was all full of lumps an shears, an I felt sorry for him. After he got the turkey in the oven he wint to the closet an removad a bottle of something I can never forget. He thin procured a couple of glasses, an he sat down, placin the bottle an glasses on the table beehune us. After we had a'few dhrinks he began to tell me more about his wife, Moll Ryan, which was her name before she got him into throublc. “ Before we were married,” he began, “ I thought Moll was an angel devoid of supernatural accoutermints, but after wedlock I discovered her to be a sort of a natural divil. Ye'see, my wife is a ‘ fardown ’ girrul, an every other eveuin she invites her Chrisherlough fri’nds to the house, an they sing an dance an dhriuk the whole night, an, to make things more pleasant, they bring off a prize fight now an thin which they ap- pear to have previously arranged. " Why, the divil a wink could I 'shleep when we were firsht married, the house used to be so noisy, an new, shure. I am so aceushtomed to the noise that I wint to the eouuthry lately to see a fri’nd, an I staid at his place over- night. an, ye mightn’t believe it, but it’s thrue, I had to get my fri’nd to kape shootin off cannons before I began to shlumber." we kept takin a dhriuk every once in awhile, an Dinuy get a pack of cards an we began to play forty-fives. After awhile the cards in my hand began to look like one big card, an the five of clubs kept changin into the three of diamonds, thin shpadcs, an finally the cards began to look like a lot of black shpots on a large piece of white paper, an I had to give up the game, for I couldn’t tell one card from another. Dinny filled me out another dhriuk, an thin he looked around and saw the door of the shtove open. an he got up an closed it an set or fell down again. The room was fiyin around me like chain lightnin, an i thought every min- ute one of the chairs would sthrike me in the face. Dinny wint to fill outanether dhriuk, but the bottle was impty. Thin he eomminced to sing' about a couple of little girruls in blue, but the divil a word hardly could I undershtand, for he was either thryin' to fire all the words of the song out of him at once. or else he had the two shmall girruls in- soide in his throat, an they were fightin wid aich other an shtruggling to get out of him. I remember Mrs. Leary came in and began to tell about Mrs. Hcaphy‘s tur- key beiu a miserable lookin bird, not much bigger than a chicken, an she was as and ass March barn at Mrs. Heaphy. who had the audacity to call her turkey a shparrow. Mrs. Leary had brought a few fri'nds in with her. an she began to set the table for dinner for the crowd. She thin eornmineed to blackguard Dinny about gettiu dhruuk, an she asked him he! was the turkey. He said all right, into the ten of forget that racket as long as I live ! Dicey was bawlin, his wife was screamin, her two fri‘nds cleared out, the air was full of cups an saucers, an she was hollerin at Din‘ny, " How did that get in there?" , I war half ashleep durin all this, an I suddenly collected shtringth enough to lift me head no look at the turkey, an thin I saw the cause 'of all the threuble. There was a big ugly tom-cat, which must have jumped into the oven to ate the bird when the door was open an the fire not. shtarted rightly, an Dinuy closed the door on it, and served the thafe right, but I wouldn't mind if the dhrunken blackguard hadn't pointed at me and said I “ threwrhe cat in there." The plates began to fly at me, an the two little gurrils in blue must have changed into two little boys in blue. for one of thim shoved me out of the door and down the shtairs, and he walleped me wid a bit of a shtick, an, faith, I was too sick to retaliate. Courtship in a. Flat. It was a meeting of the -Yonng Woman's Progressive Political Associa- tion. They greeted each other with an explosive kiss. “I haven't seen you for ages, you dear thing!” said the girl with the poppies in her hat. “ I’m so glad you came to-dayâ€"this is to be a perfectly ideal meeting-Are you married yet ?" “No; and I'm not likely to be so long as I live in a flat,” responded the girl with the ostrich boa. “ I’d like to 'have, ‘Let all who enter here leave hope behind,’ carved over the entrance to our building." “ If you wanta responsive shoulder to weep on here is mine. I, too, live in a flat, and when our landlord wanted a new name for the building I suggested the Auti-Matrimonialâ€"he declined it, though ; said it might affect the popu- larity of ’em. I just hate a flat. 0, yes, we have steam heat, gas, rangeâ€"â€"-” “ Hardwood mantles, porcelain bath “ Tiled hearths, electric bells, and all modern contrivances,” groaued the girl with the poppies. "‘ Oh, don’t you make me ill l" . “ Our flat has no doors at all, only portieres,” moaned the girl with the feather boa, “and only the man who don’t mean anything by it is bold enough to make love to a girl when a member of her family may be in ambush behind each curtain.” “ I know. And the awful things that happen to one when one is tempor- arily isolated from one’s best clothes. I was once caught in the bedroom which opens off the parlor with all my decent gowns in a wardrobe at. the back of the flat, and a swell New Yorker, who only had one day in town, waiting in the parlour to see me. I don’t know what would have happened if Minnie hadn’t gone up to the flat above and lowered. my tea gown out of .the window in a basket." “ That's nothing. 1 had been wash- ing my hair in the bathroom one day, and had left part of it there to dry. I fled to my own room, which also opens off the parlor, at. a sound, of the door bell. It was Jim, and matures had to bring me my hair in a hand satehell before I could go in." “ And I once dropped a hot curling iron down my back while Burt Was waiting for me in the next room, and dared ~not scream lest he find out what I was doing." , “That comes of a man having no sister to familiarizeâ€"" ‘ “ Nothing of the sort. of a flat l" “Well, maybe so. Alma has made her father move to the suburbs and take a whole house." “ Yes; and I hear she is going to be married." “ Quite likely. she lost Victor ?" “ No; do tell me." “ lie was calling on her the very evening before she left on that trip to Kansas. and she had strong hopes that he would commit himself. Just about as it was time for him to go, a great hubbub of voices arose in the next room, and under cover of it, he said: “ Ah, Miss Alma, could â€"- could â€"- could youâ€"" “ Yes, yes; go on i" . “Just then her father’s voice rose ' loud and clear: ‘ I tell you now,’ he 3 It is the fault Did you hear how was saying, ‘ this thing has got to stop! ‘ p Altnn's extravagance is enough to ruin any man! No wonder she is 24 and can't-' Her mother stopped him there. but it was too late. Alina asked Victor what he was going to say, and he stam- mered out: “ Couldâ€"could you tell me what time it is f" > “ Poor Alma! And I know that by the time she got back from Kansas he was engaged to that little school teacher who makes over her dresses twice and puts her money in the bank." “ Yes. 0, my goodness! They are all going, and so we haven't heard a word they said. They were going to replied the girl with poppies in her hat, and there were tears in her eyes as she said it. discuss the most vital quesrion of the day and " “ For my part, the question we have been discussing is vital enough for me," CHOOSING A PRESENT Need no! tahe long. In 1894 years of Chrzklnmses, holiday goods have never heen hotter, never cheaper, never more plentiful. Something for you, something to suit eoeryone's sloshing, and strain nohody’s purse. Christmas Cards and Bookletsâ€" Novelties in China and Glassâ€" Toysâ€"â€" Fancy Wool Goodsâ€" Art Silksâ€" Novelties in Millineryâ€" The Prettiest Dolls in all Dolldemâ€" and innumerable other lines. Bargains in everything. You cannot do hatter than hnyf “your holiday goods from MRS. HEELEY. MONEY TO LOAN. ' I have recently had a. considerable, though limited, sum of money placed with me for leaning on forms at Five and a-half per cent. Parties wishing to borrow on these terms should not delay to make application. Large amounts of funds, at slightly higher rates, according to security. In most cases solicitor work is done at my office,insuring speed and moderate expenses. Allen S. Maedonell. Barrister &e., Lindsay, LINDSAY Marble Works. at: R. CHKIIIBERS as is prepared to furnish the people of Lind- say and surrounding country with MONUMENTS AND HEADSTONES, both Marble and Granite. Estimates promptly given on all kinds of cemetery work. , Marble Table Tops, Wash Tops, Mantel ‘ Pieces, etc., a specialty. . WORKSâ€"In rear 0 the market on Cam- bridge street,oppesite Matthews? patkiug‘ house. . Being a practical workman all shoal see his designs and compare prices before purchasing elsewhere. ROBT. CHAMBERS. North of the Town Hall ..- ‘flu, .: .1 " l."“:-'.‘: _ . . W . .v; , .13: 1 .r ‘ , DE COPYRIGHTS. ' CAN I OBTAIN A PATENT ? For a fill-omlpt answer and an honest opinion. write to U N a: 00., who have had nearl titty year-3' experience in the patent business. mmunlca- ttons strictly confidential. A Handbook of diffs?“ “l?”‘“‘ln"“'%l‘l§mgnem “Sign: in sen ree. 50 a 0 1n teal and scientific hooks sent. free. Patents taken through Munn & 00. receive special notice in the Scientific American, and t us are brought widely before the public with- out cost to the inventor. This splendid pauper. tamed weekly. elegantly illustrated. has n arthe largest clrcnlatlon or an sclentltlc war in the world. 33 a year. Sump e co lee sent free. Building Edition men hly, boa year. Single co les,‘ . cents. Every number contains bean- ti ul plates. in colors. and photographs of new houses. wlth plans. enabllng ullders to show the latest deal a and secure contracts. Address HUNN 00.. Raw Yomr. 361 BROADWAY. David Chambers, General Blacksmith, Francis-st, Fenelon Falls Blacksmithingm nllitsdifl'crentbranches done on short notice and at the lowest living prices. Particular attention paid to horse-:hoeing. Give me a callandlwill guarantee satisfaction. 45-ly. Iiifiinnnss v-HVALISES-m _.A-p__ lilllll EBHY’S ....KENI-â€"ST,,.... --»I.:INDSAY.-m ’ as. . . T. twigs. RAISINS, 1; CHRISTMAS GROCERIES‘ CURRA.NTS. CANDIED FEELS, Etc. .... BRIGHT, CLEAN AND NEW, AT JOSEPH McFARLAND’S. We are also offering bargains in Are you going to buy a SLEGH BUTTER i" ' If so, it Will be to your advantage to consult S. S. GAENER. _Repairing and Ric-painting promptly attended to. ‘ 1 Next door to Knox’s blacksmith shop on Francis Street, ..rrnrien Fills.. lilST lN “mi A FULL SUPPLY OF THE BEST CANADIAN AND AMERICAN WATER - wan cacao. CHI" ' Time to be Thinking About Christmas Gifts. EASY CHAIRS LOUNGES CENTRE TABLES MIRRORS PICTURES and other articlesâ€"useful and orna- mental, and the prices are not high. Perhaps you have Pictures stowed away-wt little use for want ofa frame. Bring them here and have their decorative qualities made the most of. LJENMEE (lamina-St, Panelon Falls. MISS TlllSTLE’l‘HWAITE, who has studied for years with the best teachers on this continent, and has passad the required examinations at the Toronto College of Music, will give Lessons on Organ or Piano, ALSO VOCAL LESSONS IF DESIRED. For Terms apply at Mr. A. Sutherland’s residence, Francis Street West. SEGOND' DIVISEOH COURT â€"Ol‘ THEâ€"- County of Victoria. The next sittings of the above Court wlll beheld in Dickson’s hall, Fenelon Falls, ON MONDAY, FEB. 18ih, 1895, commencingnt 10 o’clock in the forenoon Thursday, Feh'y 7th, will he the last day of service on defendants residing in this county. Defendants living in other coun~ tics must be served on or before Feb. 2nd. S.Nsv1sox; E. D.HA:D. Bailiff. Clerk Fenelon Falls, Oct.10th, 1894. W--._mm. , IN S URANCE. Mr. Wm. B. Ellis having transferred his Insurance Business to me, I am prepared to take risks on all classes of property I. o..â€".. At Very Lowest Rutcfi: ~ None but first-class British and Canadian Companies represented. ter FARM PROPERTY at very low rates. James Arnold, â€"..._â€"-...._.__. Subscribe for the. ‘Gaze’t’tet‘