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Tuesday, February 26th, 2008 Nipigon - Red Rock Gazette Page 5 Basic Black A Tale of Two Parrots Ever come across a book you wish you’d read? Happened to me last week. The book is called Breaking Bad Habits in Parrots. I wish I’d read that book 25 years ago. That would be just before I laid out 600 bucks for Sydney, a Blue-Fronted Amazon. Sydney, the pet store owner assured me, would prove an affectionate, intelligent and altogether heart-warming pet. The pet store owner lied. Sydney was a feathered fiend. A winged wolverine. An avian Antichrist. ‘Sydney’??? His name should have been Satan. Sydney had three prevailing habits. He shrieked and shredded and shat indiscriminately - frequently all three at once. He shrieked when he was in his cage; when he was let out of his cage he destroyed everything he could put his beak to, and that which he couldn’t besmirch he be-guanoed with gusto. When I began to entertain fantasies of grabbing Sydney by the neck with one hand, my 12-gauge Remington with the other and taking both out on the front lawn for a spot of impromptu skeet-shooting, I knew it was time to divest myself of Sydney in favour of a more benign animal companion, such as - oh, I don’t know - a rabid wharf rat, perhaps? A black mamba? Sydney went back to the pet store, the owner of which refused to give me my money back. I didn’t mind. Knowing he would probably spend the rest of his life with Sydney was recompense enough. It was just the luck of the draw, I guess. If I’d been hanging around a pet shop in Stamford, Connecticut back in 1977 I could have shelled out a few bucks and bought Alex, a one-year old African Grey and possibly the smartest parrot the world has ever known. Scratch that. Alex became the smartest parrot, etc., thanks to Dr. Irene Pepperberg, a Harvard scientist. She bought Alex, and over the next 30 years she taught the bird to describe objects, how to make his desires known - even how to ask questions. In doing so, Dr. Pepperberg turned the science of animal linguistics on its pointy little head. Until her experiment with Alex came along, most researchers had concentrated on trying to teach chimpanzees and monkeys how to speak because, well, they’re more like us, right? Closer on the evolutionary scale and all that. Only problem is, as much as simians resemble us, their vocal chords simply aren’t up to the job of reproducing human speech. Whereas parrots can at least...well, ‘parrot’ what they hear, be it a telephone ringing, a barking dog, or human speech. But Dr. Pepperberg took linguistic ability in animals to a whole new level. She proved that not only could Alex talk like a human - he could think. By his mid-twenties (still young for a parrot) Alex could identify and name 50 different objects. He could also name their colours, their shapes and even the materials they were made from. He understood concepts such as ‘bigger’ and ‘smaller’, could count up to six - even appreciated the concept of ‘zero’ And he had personality to bum - including a finely-honed sense of mischief. Once, at a press conference, Dr. Pepperberg struggled to get Alex to vocalize the shape and colour of an object she held in front of him. Alex snootily ignored her, and the crowd of reporters grew restive. Desperate to give the press something to write about, Dr. Pepperberg left the stage to bring on another African Grey, hoping the presence of another bird would stimulate Alex to ‘open up’. As soon as she had left the stage, Alex looked at the audience, leaned into the microphone and murmured quietly, “Triangle. Purple.” Just how smart did this birdbrain get? Smart enough to have a vocabulary of 150 words; smart enough to ask for specific objects - and to reject items that were not what he asked for. On the evening of September 6th of last year, as Dr. Pepperberg prepared to leave the lab, she bid Alex good night. “You be good,” said Alex. “I love you.” “I love you too,” said the professor. “You’ll be in tomorrow?” asked Alex. “Yes,” said the doctor, “I’ll be in tomorrow.” Doctor Pepperberg would, but Alex would not. He died in his cage that night, of natural causes. He and Dr. Pepperberg had had their last conversation. I’d tell you about the last conversation I had with my parrot, Sydney, but this is a family newspaper. Mushrooms with Mediterranean Tuna Dip (NC) An Italian inspired quick and easy dip Prep time: 10 min 1cup packed Italian parsley leaves 1 cup light mayonnaise 1 can (170 g) flaked or chunk light tuna, (packed in water), drained 3 tbsp lemon juice 3 tbsp drained capers 5 anchovies, chopped (or 2 tsp anchovy paste) 1 clove garlic 1 lb fresh mushrooms (thickly sliced, small whole or halved large) Garnish: fresh parsley, minced In a food processor combine parsley, mayonnaise, tuna, lemon juice, capers, anchovies and garlic; process until smooth. Transfer to serving dish, garnish with parsley, put in fridge until serving. Place on tray or in a basket and surround with mushrooms for dipping. Makes 1 3/4 cups BEWARE OF DANGEROUS ICE CONDITIONS Over the next few weeks Lac Seul outflow at the Ear Falls Generating Station will be reduced to accommodate construction work. During this time the water level below the Ear Falls Generating Station, the upper English River, Pakwash Lake and Camping Lake will change. As a result, ice conditions may change rapidly along sections of the waterway with the drop and rise in water levels, creating hazardous ice conditions and ice flows. While extreme care must be taken on any frozen lake or river, the areas near hydroelectric stations and dams are especially dangerous. Moving water can lead to thin, unstable ice conditions near the intakes and outflows. And please remember, throughout the year, the areas around hydroelectric dams and stations are not places for recreation. To obtain a free Stay Clear, Stay Safe CD-ROM, video or brochure visit www.opg.com. ONTARIO POWER GENERATION www.opg.com Classifieds!!!! They really work and for a good price too. Call 887-3583 to place one or come to the office. 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