The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

www.insideHALTON.com | OAKVILLE BEAVER | Thursday, August 13, 2015 | 10 The sometimes sad and sel sh world of cellphones That's T Life heatrical maven and maverick Patti LuPone recently brought a little vigilante justice to an off-Broadway performance when she made an impromptu entrance into the audience and con scated the cellphone of a ceaseless texter. "We work hard on stage to create a world that is totally being destroyed by a few rude, self-absorbed and inconsiderate audience members who are controlled by their phones," the feisty and fabulous Tony Awardwinner stated in a post-performance statement. "They cannot put them down. When a Andy Juniper Guest Contributor phone goes off or a LED screen can be seen in the dark, it ruins the experience for everyone else." Amen, Patti. Recently I had the pleasure of attending a Dawes concert in Toronto. Fine lingerie ... I deserve it. www.lineaintima.com For the uninitiated, Dawes is a folk-rock band out of southern California with a Laurel Canyon vibe and a sound that Rolling Stone magazine duly dubbed "authentically vintage." The concert was superb, save for... well, there was a woman beside me who seemed a bit too high on life and who, for those who appreciate an apt Seinfeld reference, danced the `full-body dry-heave' all night. Then there was the foursome up front who texted and talked and talked and texted through every song. That is, when they weren't taking sel es -- their fake smiles forever frozen in time. Eventually I moved far, far away from the fake and the frozen, but for the next few days, that foursome left me wondering: why bother even going to a concert if you're not going to, I dunno, listen to the band? I guess it's all about being able to say you were there, even though you really weren't. For veteran entertainers like LuPone, none of this is new. She was vocal in her complaints of a popcorn-eating duo back in 2007 ("they were wrestling for the last few kernels... everyone was distracted"). In 2008 she stopped a performance and verbally whacked someone who was taking photos -- ironically, a video of that beatdown later surfaced. Also, she stopped another performance when inappropriate electronic-device usage made her see stars. Sadly, she still thinks the problem is getting worse rather than better. "I am so defeated by this issue that I seriously question whether I want to work on stage anymore. Now I'm putting battle gear on over my costume to marshal the audience as well as perform." Listen: I'm not against cellphones (hell, I'm a huge user), and I doubt LuPone is, either. I just believe in the old adage that there's a time and place for everything. Years ago, long before these phones became ubiquitous and altogether out-of-hand, my wife and I were dining in restaurant that afforded a postcard-perfect harbour view. Throughout the meal we could not help but notice a man and woman sitting across from us who were busy not appreciatively taking in the view, or even carrying on a conversation, but, rather, sitting silently, starring down at their phones, scrolling, ceaselessly scrolling. My wife commented that this was about the saddest sight imaginable. Alas, nowadays that sad sight has become commonplace. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com and found on Twitter @ thesportjesters. Exclusive Non-Stop Flights from HAMILTON* Celebrity Cruises Caribbean Vacations Caribbean Cruise Vacations Made Easy Actual plane may differ. It's All Included Veranda Staterooms from $2,199* It's All Included: · 7 Night Eastern or Western Caribbean cruise aboard Celebrity Reflection® or Celebrity Silhouette® · Roundtrip NON-STOP flight from Hamilton, ON to Miami or West Palm Beach, FL.* · Classic Beverage Package with unlimited beer, wine, spirits and more, approx. value of $900* · Gratuities and taxes* · All ground transfers in Florida Departures every Saturday and Sunday from Jan. 30 to Apr. 3, 2016* From our previous guests: "Wonderful holiday....we felt pampered from beginning to end." "So convenient to fly non-stop from our local airport!" To book, call your travel agent or call 1-888-776-1155. *Refer to www.celebritycruises.com/canada for full terms and conditions. Offer valid for departures between Jan. 30 to Apr. 3, 2016. Price is in CAD, p.p. based on double occupancy for new individual bookings, subject to availability and may change at any time and is inclusive of all taxes, fees and port charges. Price is based on the lowest minimum available as follows and will vary by sailing: Veranda category 2D from $2199 for Mar. 27 sailing on Celebrity Silhouette®. Other categories/occupancy types and sailing dates are available at varying prices. Classic beverage package applies to two guests (21 years and older) per stateroom and includes beers up to $6 per serving, spirits and cocktails up to $8 per serving and wine up to $9 per serving, soda selections, fresh squeezed and bottled juices, premium coffees and teas and non-premium bottled water. Upgrades to other beverage packages are available for an additional charge plus beverage gratuities. Gratuities applies to two guests per stateroom and provides for prepaid stateroom attendant, waiter, assistant waiter and head waiter gratuities (amounts based on gratuity guidelines). 3rd and 4th guests receive gratuities and non-alcoholic beverage package which can be upgraded to an alcohol package for a fee. Max. total baggage allowance of 20 kilos (44 lbs.) per person. Celebrity Reflection® Eastern Caribbean Feb. 6, 20, Mar. 5, 19 & Apr. 2 and Western Caribbean Jan. 30 Feb. 13, 27, Mar. 12 & 26. Celebrity Silhouette® Eastern Caribbean Sun. Jan. 31, Feb. 14, 28 Mar. 13 & 27 and Western Caribbean Sun. Feb. 7, 21, Mar. 6, 20 & Apr. 3. Coach air travel; Saturday flights are between Hamilton and Miami, FL and Sunday flights are between Hamilton and West Palm Beach, FL. Ports of call vary by itinerary. This program is not combinable with any other offers. Space is subject to availability and change at time of booking. Please ask for details regarding terms and conditions concerning deposit, final payment and cancellation penalties. Restrictions apply. Celebrity Cruises reserves the right to correct any errors, inaccuracies or omissions and to change or update fares, fees and surcharges at any time without prior notice. © 2014 Celebrity Cruises, Inc. Ship's Registry: Malta and Ecuador. All Rights Reserved. 05/15 · 5913 That's modern luxury.SM