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O4roýnoWeeýklyimes. Wednesday, October 18, 1995 -7 ý by Arthur Black The way to get things done is not to mind who gets the credit for dorng them. Benjamin Jowett Poor old Ben. As a clas- sicai theologian he was undoubtediy first-rate. He was easily one of the best loved Masters in the entire history of Balliol College in Oxford. But if he'd ever tried to peddle that who-cares-who- gets-credit phiosophy in the movies they'd have strung hlm up from a lamp post at the corner of Hollywood and Vine. Who gets credit for what is everything in Hollywood. If you don't believe me, go sheli out six or eîght bucks and sit through -Waterworld", the Kevin Costner epic, currently inun- dating movie, screens around the world. Don't bother sitting through the movies. Arrive late, Just in time for "the credits". SThe credits for "Waterworid" are a mini- documentary unto them-' selves. They roll for an incredible seven minutes -- and they don't just name stars and co-stars. The -Waterworld" credits sing the praises of "the chief dockmaster", the "vault manager", "trimaran co-co- ordinators" and somne poor creatures known as "digital roto supervisors".l There are more than eight hundredindividual credits immortalizing the folks who helped make "Waterworld" - - and that's for a flop. The mnd shudders to tffink how many extra legionsCostner would have needed to make a successful movie. Back when I was a kid al you had to do was blink and you'd miss the movies cred- its. In the early days the credits rolied before the fea- ture film and they kept them simple. They told you the name of the director, the producer, the ieading -man, the leading lady and then they told you you only had five more minutes to get your popcorn. I can remember years ago being mystified by such credit ,designations as "gaffer", "grip" and "best boy". A cousin who'd played an extra in a few Hollywood movies straightened me out. "Gaffer" she explained, was a lighting technician. "Grips" were the guys who luggsed theheaVvy movie gofer who fetched coffee and anything else the grips and gaffers needed. But then the movie cred- it business got complicated. In the credits to the movie "Batman Forever" you will see acknowiedgements for the,"Batsuit wrangler" and even a "Robinsuit wrangler". What the heil is that? I can see they might want to have somebody specifi- caily in charge of seeing that Batman's cape doesn't get wrinkled and Robin's fly stays zipped up -- but wran- gler? My dictionary defines wrangler as 'a cowboy .... esp. in charge of saddle horses'. Neyer mind it gets weirder. *Batman Forever" also gave credit Une to a greensman', a patcher' and --my favoirite: a 'hair puncher'. The only person 1 know who could use' a h air punch- er is convicted-felon-tumned- boxing-impresario Don King -- but he doesn't act. At least not in movies. Movie credits have gôtten more complicated because films are a lot more techni- cal than they used to be. Haîf the m~ovies on the screen'thesè- days wouid be laughed out of the theatre if it wasn't for the special effects. Nattirally, the peo- pie respon§.ible for those special effeçts' think they deserve a pgLt on the back too. plus it'â a form of Hollywood currency. Anyone whP can point to their narne ifl the credits for, say, Rocky One through Twenty-three -- probably isn't going to have trouble landing a job on Rocky Twenty-fourf Stijl, the çredit busin 1ess is getting pretty silly. There's a movie called "Carrington" coming soon to a theatre nea.r you. After it's over, when the credits rol you will see a credit for "honeywagofl driver". A honeywagon driver is the guy who brings in and The exciting meeting of Tuiesday, October 10, pro- vided the impetus for sever- ai Bowmanville Toastmasters to attend the Area 26 contest in Peterborough on October 11.- Toastmaster Leetooze and Barnes represented Bowmanville in competition congratulations. 1Our regular Tuesday nighTt featured a stirring Table Topies session led by our newest ýToastmaster T.M. Ken O'Brien. Although she did not par- ticipate our guest stated that the affirmative atmosphere would encourage her to par- rem oves those Johnny-On- The-Spot portable toilets they use on location. For some of the movies I've seen lately, the honey- wagon driver should get top billing. Bowmanvîlle Toastmasters ticipate on a subsequent visit. Chairman T.M. Mike Sullivan encouraged mem- bers of the head table to tell about their learning experi- ence through Toastmasters. Our speakers demon- strated the iearning they had done as they spoke on such diverse topîcs as the Quebec Referendum and Apartments in houses. T.M. Konzeimann from Orono was selected as the best speaker. It was a pleasure to wel- come back T.M. Bob Shearman from his vacation in Spain. The planning committee for the upcoming Faul Conference urged Toastmnasters to extend their horizons by takîng part in the upcoming district 60 Conference. November 3, 4, 5 at Hocklley Valley. Guests are always welcome come and see Toastmasters in action on Tuesday evening 7:30 at the Information Centre, DarlingtonHydro. 1For more information please cali 623-2243 or 623-3527. S UBSCRIPTIION.OFE During the next few weeks these specially commissioned sales representatives will cali on area residents offering subscriptions to: THE OROhVNO 0ýWEEKILY .TIM ESM at SPECvýJAL RATES This offer is being made availabie to new redders and existing subseribers. Tihese individuals have been authorized to represent The Orono Weekly limes during this speciai subscription drive. Please consider the offer they present carefuily as it Cannot Be Repeated And Is NOT Available Through The Office. Take advantage cf this bpeciai offer when these individuais caîl and enjoy Yc'ur (_ommu-nity Newspaper ail year round., mm