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2 THE COLBORNE EXPRESS. COLBORNE. ONT.. THURSDAY. SEPT. 20, 1928 fWJl} lyiir w-« ADTU ! blanket round my head, took a long Urr 1 tlE< 1 I* breath, and dashed gallantly upstairs W. THOMAS. Some years ago a friend of r named Bertram Cadwallader Wimple-dyke, which wasn't his fault, poor chap; becajjse before her second marriage--tfut this looks like being a very long and involved sentence. And I'm hot. So perhaps we'd better take a deep breath and start a new paragraph. Before her marriage to old man Mimpledyke, Bertram Cadwallader's mother-to-be was the widow or relict of a man with one eye, named Winter-bottom. I don't know the name of his other eye. And if you've heard that one before it isn't my fault, i hot. And again. And the man with the red ladder and the bucket, who was cleaning the windows, said, "What's the matter, guvnor? Can't you keep yjourself as many Joe Millerisms per annu: I do is bound to repeat himself and again. Like history or radishes. Very well then! On the demise of the late Mr. Win-terbottom, Mrs. W. looked round for substitute; and having a lot of spoons and table napkins and pillow slips marked with her initial, she decided to stick to W. for the sake of cmy. Hence Wimpledyke. n due course a child was born; and, taking advantage of his extreme youth, his parents christened him Bertram Cadwallader; Bertram after s uncle with houses in the bank and fatty heart, and Cadwallader after horse that Mr. Wimpledyke had su cessfully backed each way. So no you know the facts about Bertram Cadwallader, and we can start all over again. Some years ago Bertram went out to New Zealand to grow sheep, a: am beginning to be a little bit vous about him. I don't think he ver ysuccessful, and when I last had r note from him, back in 1926, he said he was "just managing to hang the skin of his teeth." Since then I have heard nothing, and I fear Bertram must have fallen off. A HARD LIFE. Because last week I received a book called "Does the Earth Rotate?" by Mr. William Edgell. And Mr. Edgell has properly put the wind up me. According to his theory, if the earth is really and truly round, all the peoph in New Zealand, the horset and cows and churches and chapels, and so on must be hanging head downwards. 1 hadn't thought of that myself, but it probably accounts for poor old Bertram's failure. All his money musjt have dropped out of his pockets. Rather a dreadful position to be in, when you come to think of it. During the day you are going about your work right way up, riding in trams and buses, or sitting quietly at hi reading the paper. Suddenly the earth in its rotation side down, and all the buses and trai and New Zealanders fall off into the Milky Way. AH except those who happen to be indoors; and they get a sudden rush of blood to the head, and the house turns over, and they have to go to bed on the ceiling. I dont wonder that Bertram has never made much of a success of his life down under. It must be very difficult to do ones best work when one is walking about head downwards. Especially if one hasn't a hat-guard. Now, although I am dreadfully rorry for Bertram, I am immensely grateful to Mr. Edgell. He has put down in cold print a lot of things I have been dying to say for years. For instance:-- According to astronomers, the sun is 330,000 times larger than the earth. But consider for a moment. If that is true, why doesn't it keep the rain off? Again, assuming that the earth rotates, as our scientists say it does, when I jump up in Chiswick I ought to come down in China, the earth having buzzed round underneath me. Whereas I don't. Nor anything like it. And here is another point worth considerine. If the earth went round at a speed of eighteen miles per second there would be such a colossal draught, says Mr. EdjgeU, that it) would lift us off our feet, uproot gi-par.tic trees, and kill ever? living creature. To account for the absence of these phenomena, Mr. Edgell puts forward the interesting theory that the earth is not snherical at all, but a flat dis:-. shaped like a muffin, or a frying-pan, with icebergs all round the out- I am not ouite sure that I agree with him there. ALARUMS AND EXCURSIONS. If the earth is shaped like a frying-pan, as Mr. Edgell suggests, than two or three wet summers would fill the jolly old thing up to the brim, and we should all be drowned dead. I had a whole lot more to say on this subject; illuminating, elevating, instructive, uninteresting, and dull, but as I was sorting them out in my mind and arranging the details I heard a commotion outside. And suddenly there appeared against my window the top end of a bright red ladder, and I heard an agitated voice telling somebody to "hurry up with that there bucket." With wonderful presence of mind I grabbed at my manuscript, my passbook, cigarette-case, and pyjamas, and dashed downstairs so rapidly that I only touched two of them. "Fire!" I shouted. "The escape has come. Where's the ki' en? And the chop you got for my lunch? And the receipt for the rent? And my other EXPLANATIONS. I told him exactly what I thought of him for frightening me like that, and then went downstairs to have a few harsh words with Mrs. Gollop. When she had dried her tears and given me notice three times, she explained that the smoke in the kitchen was due to the fact that her brother-in-law, who was a policeman by profession, had called to read the gas So I forgave her and she very kind-who trots out I jy -withdrew two of the notices she Empire Ties had given me. But when I got back to my desk all my astronomical lore had departed from me like snow upon the desert's dusty face; and I was so thankful for having been rescued from the fire that I didn't care whether the jolly old earth was flat or square, egg-shaped or round with knobs on. First Time In England I set foot in England for the first time In March, 1903. The first thing that I remarked was the apparent nearness of the grey sky. In quick succession I was surprised by the youthful look of the people, by the fresh, damp smell, by the dirtiness of the walls of the houses, by the vivid green of the fields, and last--but by no meai --by curious stripes that lay many of the meadows. It was not till years later that I discovered that these stripes were caused by rolling the grass In spring. . . . Two or three of us went down the Strand to Piccadilly that Saturday night, and I was accosted by a benevolent old gentleman who presumed that I belonged to the Wild West show at Olympia. I had never heard eithc of the entertainment or of Olympia; and I was highly indignant that Englishman could not recognize k fellow-Englishman when he saw hii But this incident called my attention to my sun-bleached peaked hat determined to get a bowler. I awoke the next morning to mendous silence reigning ovei City of London, a silence broken only by the twittering of numbers of sparrows down in Charterhouse Square. As soon as I had had breakfast I hurried outside to see London. The sparrows appealed to me tremendously; every breath of the damp air seemed fraught with new things. ... I peered through the iron railings at old Charterhouse School; I found an old friend, a very grimy fig-tree, growing against a wall In the Square I went forth into Aldersgate Street and discovered St Paul's, I knew it was really St. Paul's because a policeman told me. . . . Soon after my arrival I went down to Welwyn, in Hertfordshire, for the day. And there, for the first time, I saw a daisy. I went down hands and knees on the wet turf to it closer, and when I looked up I saw that all the field before me was carpeted with daisies. I rose and went forward among them as it were upon wings. This was the land of my fathers.--From "The Autobiography of Kingsley Fairbridge"--with a Preface by The Right Hon. L. S. Ameby an Epilogue by Sir Arthur Law- PRESENTED TO PRINCE Some of Britain's "Young Ambassadors", touring- Canada, met H.R.H Prince George at Vancouver. The young lady exchanging smiles with the Prince is Etta Buchanan of Stirling, Scotland. A White Woman Gold Prospector Powerful as Queen orchids in florists' shops instead of picking them wild. Mrs. Booth among other things has been cited in a League of Nations report for her heroic services in fighting a fever epidemic which swept both natives and white prospectors in the New Guinea gold fields. There hite ; was no doctor closer than 900 miles, utn] but Mrs. Booth had been a trained nurse before she and her young husband set out after the rainbow. She The cannibal boy of Ne who had come to the strai medicine woman for help, was grateful. He had been desperal ill. It was blood poisoning from infection of his big toe, but he did ^ & hospUal for nativeS, and _ not know that. It was necessary to ed t o wWte mm ,n hef Qwn hQme amputate the member and without an , anesthetic, for in the jungle there' , "The native tribes--cannibal tribes, was none to be had. But when he ™ese, for no missions have ever been was cured, instead of thanking his established in this country--soon benefactress, he insisted that since beard of me," she said, he had given her his toe she should j "We used native boys from the give him some present. He wanted a i coast country to work for us in the steelweapon. but he did not get it, for mines and to carry our provisions on the whites had to keep the natives the nine-day journey over the moun-unarmed for safety's sake. That was tains from the coast to the of the many experiences in the interior there ar< Sunday School Lesson ANALYSIS iber 23. Lesson XIII,--The itlan Basis of Total Abstlrt---1 Cor. 8: 1-13. Golden Text plies with only two oys, her exciting story continues: "But we had guns and a bulldog," she said. "So with the crude implements of the natives we felt fairly safe. I recruited enough labor for the packs to be carried, and followed my husband. We had to cross peaks 7,000 to 8,000. feet high, and swift mountain currents. The natives Sept. made bridges of logs and vines, or Christi else hand bridges, when the streams f!?Le't were shallow enough for this." j every r It took nine days to cross the moun-: 10; 24. tains ,and to rejoin her husband. T „ Then she learned how to operate a knowledge and love, 1-6. mine, and often remained alone in her II. the claims of the weak breth-native hut for six to eight weeks at ren, 7-12. a time, while her husband and the HI. the christian principle of sur-other half dozen white men were out render of rights, 13. prospecting. At such periods she had Introduction--In the pagan tern-full charge of the mine and the 200 p]es in Corinth the sacrifices of meat native boys. were first presented to the idol and "The interior tribes -1 Cor. ; the hard- then sold in the markets. Thus if est to deal with, but I succeeded in Christians were invited to social « tertainments among their former iting some of them, she went ^ £ nted with relate. They would do any- thjs perplexity that the meat had thing for a few tablespoonfuls of table connected with idol feasts and many They knew nothing whatever feit that this was a wrong thing to about money, and had never used it. do, as their conscience was very sen-Some of them lived in the tree-tops-- j sitive on the subject. But other mem-built their huts out of vines, grass, bers complained against this over-and saplings. But for the most part scrupulous tendency. They said that n. „ „*„„«,i an idol meant nothing now to them, they were a very stupid people, and ^ ^ enM h£,ned and knew eacherous. I m glad to De away that there waa bii^M true God. Ac-rom there, although it was intere>S ror,iinF]y these converts were^rea4X_ ing and worth -while, while it lasted." (even to attend meals in the pagan Mrs. Booth has written a book of temple, and found no offence in eating her experiences which is to be pub- the meat that had been offered to lished in London. She also was in- jdols- Thus there was a conflict be-. i *u ^<~* nf „«■ ,h ™„„ tween two types--the advocate of terested in the bird life of the <»«»-; abstinence and the advocate of free-try, and the native flowers. |dom xhi8 was the subject on which "You can't imagine the brilliant but-1 the Corinthians had consulted Paul, terflies, moths, birds, and orchids in t knowledge and love, 1-6. ^^ZTllln^ Sam3 DOthinE 6186 I V' !• Wh« Paul says "we all have lve ever seen, she saw. | knowledge," he is likely quoting from "That country is practically un- the letter that had been addressed to touched, although now the mines have him, in which the writers were setting really opened up, and there are a forth their views that Christ had en-great many prospectors, and an air- lightened them and taught them that plane service which carries the men'there was no such a tiling as an idol, in fortv-five minutes over the route Tbls, led to their criticism of the *T . . . , „ . . Tf weaker brethren who could not grasp that required nine days for us. It ^ new of freedom. 6palfi is wonderful in many other ways. It1 admits their contention, but goes on has the most wonderful timber I've to show that knowledge is not every- 'er seen-- cedar and pine, and could j thing, and that it may lead to serious s developed agriculturally, too." When he was a young man, Charles j * Booth v of fortune, as many yflung English-j^f "these" proud Greeks "who . Mrs. Booth was born in Aus- boasted of their wisdom, and became a trained nurse | V. 2. These Corinthians fancy that during the war. They decided to go they know everything and can pass adventuring together when the first judgments on all^ mortal questions, news came that there was gold in.but the rr~ New Guinea. about." hi ch befell Mrs. Doris Booth of /ribes, in a stage not so far from j away from that part of the i Brisbane, Queenland, Australia, while the Stone Age. All their instruments, I and you can't imagine what it r she prospected in the wilds with her both for farming and warfare, were'to me. My husband is taking i husband. In the New Work Siin.-^f- stone and flint. They had never see all the places I've always Dorothy Dayton tells more of her l^^feeti a steel instrument. * And, of there: j course, they had never seen a gun. Mrs. Booth is young, tiny, and Naturally, it was easy to terrify them, pretty. She is probably the only femi- but one had to be firm to keep them nine gold prospector in the world. For under control. It was necessary] three years she lorded It over 200 sometimes to chastise them physi-i native New Guinea men, running her cally> but I never did this except j own mine In a country which never when Justice demanded it. Their out-before had seen a white woman, while standing trait is curiosity. They her husband prospected. And over seemed to regard me as some peculiar creature, who, they said, had nothing in common with them, except teeth. That was the only point of similarity they could see. They soon heard that I was a medicine woman, and who know least are frequently the ones who are most conceited. It is the man who has studied "We went through three years of much and lorlg who is humble, since noun-1 danger and hardship," MrMs. Booth he realizes how great are the realms ;. But said. "But it was more than worth' of knowledge, ibal | it This is the first trip I've ever had | V. 3. Love is the final test, and he domain she was a queen. Sometimes it was beat the natives obstreperous, powerful i ven necessary when they once there ' Unemployment and Immigration Melbourne Australasian: The report of the Commonwealth Develop- ! weak breth- U.S. Feels Canadian Prosperity Regina, Sask.--A reflex'of the prosperity prevailing in Western Canada hich touches the United States is indicated by Canadian purchases of farm implements in that country. In July these purchases are stated to ken all records. During that month the Dominion import shipments of this kind totalled $5,958,603 in value, making a record of $29,277,201 for the first seven months of the year. The bulk of these purchases con-. „„. sisted of tractors and harvesting ap- choose some place to live where the ing bows and arrows at th™ when-' good prospect of finding paratus. During the month of July, climate is good, where nobody ever ever opportunity presented. j promptly, but they e than 1,800 tractors were shipped hears of cannibals and malaria, where Mrs. Booth let her husband Canada, of which 1,422 were wheel of from 15 to 32 horse-power. I Other large items among the Canadian ; purchases were 3,945 harvesters and binders, 914 combines and 552 thresh- These purchases from the United I States are, of course, in addition to I great quantities bought from Canadian manufacturing concerns, and represent only a portion of the activity in he farm implement field due to this rear's record crops. Britain's Colonial Empire i I i membered that the kitten room in the waste-paper though the kitchen was of smoke I wrapped a orld,' who loves comes into fellowship with eans God> aT!<1 thus possesses that real t0 knowledge which makes him fit to , pass wise judgments, eaa, v 4 PavJ retorm ^ the &UIDject, and again quotes from the letter with which he agrees. He admits that there is no reality behind the idol, since there is but one God whom all must worship. Vs. 5, 6. Yes, it is true that for enlightened Christians there is but one God who is the author of all Creation, eut and Migration Commission on >ut yet^ there are those who cannotso "Unemployment and Business Sftabil- -gf throw off the prend.e^ oftte Ity" is a State paper which merits £„owledse> Paui asks, if it must lead serious consideration. ... Not the you to look down with contempt on least valuable feature of the Commls-iy^jj. former friends? sion's report lies in passages calcu-;" lated to disabuse the mind of some ^7-12. prevalent misconceptions about the ' a strike. That time Mrs. Booth tney ofteni brought the sick to me » unemployment. One of these I V. 7. These weak brethren at Cor- had to travel heavily armed for nine £ °»™>- They of the lm Juration. Undoubtedly,!^ could not throw off the effects of days through cannibal country with me°- ^one of the cannibal tribes numDers 0f immigrants came10" habltf' «.When they say their „,,„ hov„ F,Vfl n-n.n c^tured B° ae&T the white men." , 5°, \ 7 1,1 i stronger brethren going to the idol native boys. *ive were captured, in a body to a country In which there1 fg,^^ and eating meat they were and Mrs. Booth believes they were Her arrlvai In the country was un- was widespread unemployment it1 g0metimes induced to go'but all the eaten by the canibals. j propitious. She went with her hus- would temporarily aggravate the | time there was a secret feeling that Mrs. Booth has been in America band three years ago, at a time when trouble. But the commission is de- they were not doing what was right, recently with her husband, Charles word of gold in the New Guinea moun- clsive in asserting and the graphs1 ana their conscience was TSeing de-Booth, carrying a huge twenty-eight tains had not been generally noised which accompany the report leave filed, gold nugget as a souvenir and about, not even in Australia. On the room for no doubt on the point--that' v- 8- PauI now pleads the cause of proof that the New Guinea rainbow's New Guinea coast the couple hired "immigration is not a fundamental *e weak brethren and tells the end really has its pot o gold, and that 200 natives to carry the provisions cause of unemployment. ... The flow j ™f "^Lr the eatmg of she found it And we read further: j over the hills. They had no sooner of immigration into a country will to!™^^1 ^JJ brin^° noTon! nearer After three years of prospecting Sot under way than the coast boys, a great extent automatically adjust to Qod.'nor is one better if he abstains, and mining the young «couple are lightened by the mountain torrents itself to the economic conditions in Meats are indifferent Therefore, if ready to retire. They have purchas- and the cannibals, who had captured that country." That is to say, if there; the strong man abstains he is not in large ranch in California and five boys, deserted. They were left1 is unemployment the tendency will be ; any way injuring himself, til for England where they will with five natives and a six months' ' for immigration to stop. Immigrants 1 V. 9. But while abstaining does not visit Mr Booth's relatives in York- ^"P1? of food and implements in the ! will flow into a country which is pros- j injure you, yet your eating may injure shire. After that-well, they will wilderness, with savage tribes point-1 perous and where they will have a ^^he^njer 0™^ for the ployment gake-of thg weakel% refrain from us^ - cale ;ing this liberty; but the weaker can-country where several people not> on account of his conscience, fol-already competing for one job. now the example of the stronger." J Vs. 10. 11. Here an actual case is -"--quoted. When a Christian attends an idol feast, in the spirit of bravado, to show that he does not regard the idol as anything, the result is that some other, unable to refuse the invitation now, goes, but all the time with a sense that he is doing wrong. The weak brother is thus being drawn back into the current of the old pagan idolatry, and vice. The weak brother is killed.--and then comes the wonderful touch--the brother for whom Jesus died, and yet these Corinthians won't i a piece of meat for his saka III. the christian principle of surrender of rights, 13. V. 13. The decision Paul makes is a conditional one. If he finds that there are those who are injured because of his eating that kind of flesh, he will readily abstain from meat all his life. Paul was not laying down a universal jlaw that people must abstain from all things which might give offence to a ■narrow-minded scrupulousness. Christ ; does not call us to bondage; Paul is, j however, showing that this one principle that must guide the Christian is love and thoughtfulness for others. 1 dress for dinner, and y •hile she remained to guard the sup- 1 Yorkshire Herald: Canada, Australia and South Africa appear to lack | that feeling of reciprocity which is I essential to the success of imperial 1 trading. Canada leans more and more ards the United States in commercial matters. Australia has a panech-1 ant for tariff walls, South Africa would " rather trade with Germany than with j England, and India prefers to boycott us. This, of course, is regrettable, but I it need not make us despondent. 1 Without these Dominions we still possess a mighty Empire with which we j can trade and which is desirous of 1 trading with us rather than with any j E. W. Beatty, chairman and president of the Canadian Pacific Railway photographed at the C.P.R. Station, North other nation. We must organize this Toronto, recently together with the party of business men and directors of the company who are accompanying him lnd on an extended inspection of the railway's lines and activities throughout the Dominion. From left to right:--A. D. MacTier, vice-president, eastern lines. Dr. W. W. Chipm:in, Hon. Senator Smeaton White, Ross H. McMaster, C.P.R. for British goods. This "is the director and President of the Steel Co. of Canada, Sir Charles Gordon, director of the C.P.R. and president, Bank of and fair way of conducting Montreal, W. A. Black, C.P.R. director, E. W. Beatty, Sir Herbert Holt, C.P.R. director and president of the Royal quid pro quo to those of c which show their prefer- buslness. Bank of Canada, F W. Molaon. C.P.R. director and Beaudrj ?ral r inger Banque Canadienn.3 Nationale. death.--KeppeL A Good Conscience A good conscience is better than two witnesses--it will consume thy grief, as the sun dissolves the ice; it is a spring when thou art thirsty; a staff when thou art weary; a screen hen the sun burns Vr.ee ;a pillow in