The Oakville Beaver, W e d n e sd a y F e b ru a ry 5, 2003 - B1 I How romantic are you? Keep the fires burning all year round When was the last time you ate chocolates by candlelight or took your lover for a walk under the moon? If you are like most people, it's been a while. According to one recent survey by a U.S. subsidiary of a major European chocolate maker, almost a third of respondents spend an hour or less on romance during the average week and. unromantically speaking, more than 40 per cent spend less than S10 on romance in the average week. When asked if they consider them selves to be romantic, 85 per cent said, " yes." And more than 90 per cent of respondents also indicated that they would rather be 'in love' than `in lust,' and more than half believe in love at first sight. So, why are people unfulfilled? According to the survey's authors, peo ple long for more feelings of love, kind ness and passion because they do not know how to make romance a part of their everyday lives. Many of us consider romance a short-term affair, th*y say. We limit it to the breathtaking early stages of a love affair or to special holidays. But romance needs to be a state of mind and heart, where we need to nurture our love rather than grow complacent. So the question people really should be asking themselves, they contend, is not 'How , romantic am I.' but `How am I romantic?' Romance revisited If you want to recapture the feelings of falling in love, all you need to do is make up your mind to live your life in love. As soon as you begin act ing romantic, you'll begin feeling romantic and so will your sweetheart. Even if you do not consider yourself the romantic type, you can learn to incorporate romance in your life. Consider the following recom mendations for making romance a part of your life: decide your love life is a priority: try to win your sweet heart's love every day (never take each other for granted): plan romance; remember during your courtship how well it worked? communicate your wants, needs and dreams; and start out in small ways, like saying " I love you" or hold ing hands. Romantic response Once your mind and your heart are set for romance, considthese romantic do's and don'ts culled from the most popular responses of the survey: The most romantic date? More than one-third of respondents would love a total sur prise, and more than one third would prefer to stay at home by the fire with champagne and chocolate. The most romantic gifts? While cards are the most frequently purchased romantic gift (58 per cent) respondents would prefer to receive flowers, tickets to a show or a sporting event, per fume/cologne, lingerie and gourmet chocolates. What to put on the stereo? To get into the romantic mood, one-third listen to soft rock. Just about one-quarter would rather listen to classical or jazz. If you're older, nix the soft rock and put on classical. What to serve at a romantic din ner? Gourmet chocolates topped the list (23 per cent), followed by oysters (11 per cent) and caviar (9 per cent). Where to meet the romantic type? More than half of respondents believe the best way to meet someone special is by chance, while almost one-third look to friends for introductions. About Valentine's Day One thing is nearly certain: Valentine's Day has nothing to do wiih either of the two third-century martyrs who share the name Valentine and sh^e February 14 as their day of feast. This date is heavy with the scent of coupling. A medieval folk belief held that wild birds choose February 14 to begin their spring mating. Enacted ever, year at February 15's Lupercalia, tfie ancient Roman custom of " lovers' lotj." -- drawing partners' names at random from a box -- enjoyed enduring popular ity through the ages. In mid-16th-centu ry France, St. Francis de Sales struggled to abolish the custom. As a contempo rary described it, Francis tried to interest his flock, instead, in the practice of giv ing boys billets with the names of certain (female) saints for them to honor. One can imagine how well that went over. Another old tradition held that the first person seen on the morning of the 14th (except blood relatives) would be that day's " valentine". -- From "The World Holiday Boo£ (HarperColliiisj A w a r d - W i n n i n g H otel and C o n f e r e n c e C e n tre ^ o fc u la v j S w j \. 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