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1.1-1":-1.1`. rnmas wmcn nnxnl run wnou: wonnn KIN. ` THE N ORTH`ERN ADVANCE; IIIIIIIIBGLGIIULU LLIUOII I Oh, across the Atlantic, of'cour-s e. Don't bother me; you make me forget my count ` u . I V . ` Q`! Does trans always mean across . I suppose it does. If you. don t stop bothering me with questions you ll go to bed." ` A FIFTH. Sold by all deanleraaut 25 per box. . Try Dr. A. W. Chase's Ganadxan Calsarrh Cure- take no other-it willcure you. For sale by all dealers. Coon Hunting. The Scotch Line correspondent of the Simcee News shows how the coon wasn t there. but the wood was: The rm of McKay and McKay is doing a rushing business. They were out coon hunting a short time ago, and coming across a hollow tree, which indicated that it would make a good eoon resort, concluded that they would interview the owner. They did so, an agreement was made that the boys should have the tree for their trouble in digging out the coon. Axes were brought into requisition, the tree was soon level with mother earth. a good lookout was kept for the coon, but it was up some other tree. Result, nearly thirty cords of wood for _the boys, but no coon for the owner of the tree. .Mother, said a. little Rockland girl, lookxng up from her book, what does transalantic mean '1 ` A L1___L_'_ ..' .... _.. .. ll. One to ve boxes will cure chronic Ca.- tan-h. n,1_1 L-_ -n .1__1-.... -4. oz- .....; 1.... m... Be on Your Guard. Don t allow`: cold in the head to slowly and surely develope itself into Oataarh when you can be cured for 25 cents. A c..... -.-..J:..-s:....- mm ......- :nm`n:m-.4: YUII (5311 U0 Ullfll LUIS 0 uuuua. . .. . A few applications will cure mclplent | Catarrh. n..- L- .L___ I____; __:n __._.. ._.J:......... H. 1 \JNlI&['l'Il u I One to two boxs will cure ordinary Oa- tarrh. * n_-;.- c_- 1.-..-- ...:1I ......... ..l........:.. (1.. I uuuu Then does transparent mean a. cross parent T ` _ m__ ,,,s__._;._ `-L..._ -1... ....... u....L:..... n. :__.,._____ `What day you to a Piece of Roast Beef _ and Mustard? Well. there is much to be said. The question being asked of theibanqueter at the average boarding house, calls up remini- scences of close contiguity to the horns, and ibeefsteak three cuts south thereof. He, of course, will pass, unless it occurs to `him that he needs a hinge fol his trunk. Should there be any suffering. the eects of an in- dulgence in such sinuous fare, use McGregor s Speedy Cure, a. sure and dfectual remedy for dyspepsia, constipation and all affections cf the stomach and liver. Sold by George Moukman. Trial bottles free. ' N 0, gig." ~ H Never was drunk ? Never. Used . to teach a class in "Sunday school T . _ ` "Y , air. _ Wen, we had 9. young man just ex- actly like you. You had '1" "Yes, but he left us. . Where is he now 1' - That's what we are trying to` nd out. 11--.! ..........:_... H you can u x \ Ten minutes later she was resting in i her little couch. LIIQII D Wllll '1 Good morning. Would like to know. V An Austinmother was ver.-y _, much dis- couraged at the dirty condxtion of her boy s cap, when the children came. home from a. walk._ _-___- L- ....L _ A.._ `.4-`L an An Excellent Wdman. V I am told yuur wxfe cmmnitted sui-. cide by jumping in your cistern, Mr. Tightman. . . , Yes, that s so, replied Mr. Tightmsm. I truly pity you, "for vour wife was an excellent woman. .117 _-.. L....L A... `9:`I:v\ noun 1:. Walls.` . How did you come to get your hat so lthy 1 angrily asked the mother. ? un I..A...\..l1,.A :4 AA` nntr hand in Hun DIED) 9 u.ugr1_1_y u.a|u:u_ uuu LLIUUALCL. _ A boy pulled it off my head in th street and threw it in the mud. llI'I'\I .9 I L- LL_.\-o 11:1: non stream auu. uuuw 1!: Lu DIIU luuu- That s not so, ma ; he threw hls cap 1r_1' the mud himself, interrupted his little \JIl VV U` ed. ` It lked ot `report sister. `(I17 -------v-v'. Netvousness. The unhajapy fund iiistressing condition called nervu_im'iess arises fromdebilihy, - irri- tatirm,_p0ur C1l`Cl]ii).i`.i0lJ and blood of low_ vita-1ityT i_l:()I`ga.X]iZ`3: the system by Burd_0ck Bfoud Bittc:is; which` gives pernianent. strength by invigorating theb'l0od and - ton ing all the organs to perfect action, 0-30 x UIHLUIC. _ _ ' . ` vWe11, I m a. boy, ain t I `I If I am Va. girl I`d like to know_ it." . excellent WOHIH-ll. Yes; but if she was bent on klllm herself she had orto done it some other way. None of the family will drink the water in that ctstern no more, and every drop of it will have to be pumped out, and I suppose there s as much as ten feet of water in ft. T Scott's Emulsion of Pure Cod Liver Oil, with Hypophosphites. for Wasting Children. `Dr. S. W. Cohen, of Waco, Texas, says,: .``I have used your Emulsion in Infantile wasting, with good re- sults. It not only restores wasted tissue, but gives strength, and I heartily recommend" it for diseases attended by a trophy. 4 - I know now.` It means when sister J ane pulls down the parlor blinds. when . Gus Smith comes in to spend the evening, eh ? - 411' 1 _,___, 1-11 A.-- __L E-.. ..-... Ah lalllllg .lUl.' _yuul'acu. u Uuuujo I _ Johnny Figured It Down Fine. TMa.mrna.`, what; does it mean when it says `The shades of night are falling fast ? 111*? 1 ,1,1;-,_ -___1 c...-._'.. -.-L J.`I........ B`:Y:o\1 should try and figure out things for [yourself Johnny." HT] . n n m n n up` 11- nnnunu whnn U11 9 ' A Johnny, you `fall too fast for one of your age. Go to bed at once. Qnvlinllvvanv - If you eu`'er headache you` may be sure that your stomach, liver or blood is at fault and perhaps all three are combined in bad action. If so, the best remedy is Bur- dock Blood Bitters, which cures headache by regulating the organtic action generally. L: T0013 1 groan. Iy, and rsit by y from` nddim Too Cheap and Ephemeral. Husba.nd--I ve just heard of a. man who is going to give his wife a. very sweet Christmas present. Wife (eaigerly)-Indeed 2 What is it 2' Husba'nd-A kiss, my dear. * Wife (energetically)--The.t`may be suf- cient for some women. but I want you to .understa.ud:that I have been brought up to look upon cheap gifts with suspicion, an-. . Diseases of the skin. Most diseases of the skin arise from bad blood and lack of cleanliness. except when causedby grabs or insects. Frysipelss, salt rheum. tetter, pimples and all humors of the blood areourable by Burdock Blood Bitters, which puries the blood. V ' ' vol-coats bought at a ent. no! 101' Bar- C0,Io . _ -Just received discount of 25 8 gains at '1`. W. . ra. neadah. those Just received a large stock bf Wall Paper from the Ameri- can, English and home markets Desires to thank the citizens of Barrie and surrounding neighborhood "for their kind patronage during the past year, and begs to state that he is not behind the times with his large stock of , BAR IRON,` ? - His long x'pe_rience in the business has en abled him to buy'1hese goods at the Bottom Prices FULL snack or scHooL SUPPLIES. his footv MALL|STER. sroav & 00., `HORSESHOES, HORSE NAILS, % ` CARRIAGE AND SLEIGH WOODENWARE A. r IMCALLISTER. STORY & CO Y. THE BOOICSELLER LJ\/\IL\J, KJLLKIJJKJ, LJIJIL I. .I'Jl.IokI at pnces that defy competition , 'l`l.n v-5.1`-\I:n nvxvu-unn:nO-A nn III! PFIUUS D1181: uely UUHIPUDIULUII, The public appreciate our move in the matter of giving good goods at low prices, and daily swell the volume of our trade. V [We shall be happy to show you throughout stock. [aoows AND snoam I UR FALL AND WINTER STOCK IS NOW COMPLETE with a large and V elegant assortment of the NEWEST AND MUST APPROVED STYLES OF BOOTS, SHOES, SLIPPER_S', _RUBBERS, OVERSHOES AND MOCCASINS, AL n_&;..-u. LL.. Ant- .....~.....I-554.... SCHOOL BOOKS, STATIONERY an WALL PAPER. ix you: Lbsecret. sCI:moL B0 OKS, iNEI1 STORE, ..'._-`-~.-r1- 'r.1A on-I r1r\h\T1J!`D QB` WTVW DQTNTQ *m%s;:a: mu _I.a;N2'1`0._\I, CARPENTER AND Is_ Now` MAKING DIRECT PHOTO- GRAPHS FROM cum SIZE ' up TO I: x I4 CABINETS mm $3.00 PER nozeu. One Door West of Oueen s Hotel, Barrio, NOTE PAPER, ENVELOPES AND BLANK BOOKS AT TORONTO PRICES` NORWAY [mm 6L :_<'r1:E:., m;s'r PROOF COIL CHAIN, ANVILS AND VISES, Direct fro'rn_ theA Manufacturies in Europe A full Stockof Buyers will find the Prices Interesting. uwp5RTAKE& IMPORTANT TO ALL urdlxhn st elecr ighteou5' nn liberal Elm/-dware ! S 0 OT T, IJ.I_.-I_l. K .a.V.-....-vv ,__ SOUTH EAST CORNER 01; FIVE POINTS. SLATES, Pens, INKS,` ETG. Have received a Large Stock of ordinary w. H. MYEES & son. --WHo AREIN WANT _OF---- ' BOOKSTORE. Always on hand. BARRAUD me often it were BOTI-I'VV'ELL S BLOCIK,. THE PHHTHEBAPHHB, -ALL KINDS? OF--- .B.LI=l.?E'{IE3, :;-.:1 _`;=_f Congregational Church, Funerals furnished com- plete. Caskets and Cof- ns of various designs and prices always stock. All orders will re- inns. xv . [the two A ceive careful attention. COLLIER ST. BARRIE. OPPOSITE TEE Ie Afly. ll 1 [lo 111 Penfold home`. at `in any 5 ..- ullu I {er in` ertise, yiswthe nu 0- I not ? Oh, rave to h, your 111-011, many 11 you! to the oward, 1 care of he wife 0:`. She ml, and me girl 'hcl`.- el hap- ' me nds` to me; 1- to bej K/CV6 DISI- should 1r. Ho Ie must murht to two. I Whit in bed 1: `of th out 1: once as Dr. enfold n 0 when in F,` I10. \':.w1).-_ he _,_;H`o`11 to little wo-A lair, of I d opened who took d kissed od and] etore the ' with ms at down me, how ntjyo`uA V w`ou_1'd. . , 9 I ff; )1.` L00 e knows study f\lA.' I hate 1'11 be uu\;Jr, Old In which There is Mental I'ood`_ for the Bread Ra1seras.we11-.u the Bread Eater-1`:-ovm the Best Sources. If you have anything to sell, sell j it and draw it to market. If` what you f have to sell is cheap, what you have to * buy is cheap also It seldom pays to 1 hold on to farm produce. If any of the neighbors want a little teaming done, it will not hurt oneof the boys to do it--or the horses either. It will I bring in money enough to keep the , library table well supplied with agricnl-n `L tural, religious. and literary papers, t magazines, and books. Start a Farmers Club. Take subscriptions for the Amerzean Agricultuns , and secure one l of the premiums. Test your eld and l garden seed. Make boxes for starting E" plants in `the house. Make or repair E` frames for hot-beds, re-putty and paint thesash, and make mate for covers. If the law and t-he path-master will permit ES you to work out the road tax, by draw- l ing gravel, do it now. ` And when you are doing it, draw some for` the roads ' and walks about the house and` barns. Take an interest in the school, and visit , .I,'L_'_._I __ __,.I Farm Hints .f;rAJa7.nua.ry. Of course, before you make your vacu- tion, the farm ha:-_ness will be oiledand repaired, the wagons, and sleighs, and, buggies and carriages, carefully examin- ed, and the nuts tightened; T'nez`e will he at place for everything, and every- thingewill be in its place--forks; rakes, hoes. sh:w1s*, sparles, `chains, clevises, w}1i1.:tx'ves-1, plows, Cultivators, honse-. rake, mower, hinder, roller," barrows, farm drill, garden drill. garden line, corn nmrker--'1 am afraid my corn marker is sticking on the fence, but I have no expectation of taking a. vaga- tion. [unless we may concludejvthat that is the proper place for it. l\;`.' A...._..... -....- ...ill and 5-11!) lxnuv-nut 5 comm: FOR. nu lmnunn AND n1s,uuu.1r vnuovn v -u-- .uus.u nu Luucl can Lu uuu uvuvyn , in. Neglect no social, political, or reli- Egious duty. Study, not merely read; some` good books. If you are con- sticutioually tired, wake up. The more you do, the more you may do, and the em-.`ieI` it is to do its. ` ` ' m uuu V... ..,. ,,...W .... .-. Of couxise you will get the barrow teeth sharpened, and the woodwork sstiirated with crude petroleum. The manure will be all drawn out and piled in the eld. You will get everything ready for the lambs, and the pens will be made comfortatle for theearly spring pigs. You will have a plentyof troughs and racks. ~l_loops will be . ti'ghten'ed on barrels. _New leathers will be put on pumps. Pruningv will be done Dead tree will be cut down and worked up. Dead branches of shade trees will be removed, and wherever.` shade trees. or trees on the lawn are too thick, they will be thinned out. Fences, gates and bars, will be in perfect order. All the pig pens, cow stables, hen house, cellars and sheep sheds, will have two coats of Wllllu w-.xsl1,aud some ofthem tnree "l`h'r- potato: s invtlle cellar will be sorted , .1 1... 1 ..,.....,...,.,l .....I T L?fA8URY. O _1_ur j 1-"f .' "".I """v J 7 ' "'- be*e_eL.i1:LL`l1x`3' lmve :1 }_;':-)0d bunch` fut` thu was}: t.uhs. -JosE1Ju Hmuus in .An.wr1c:au Ag1`icu1tul'isL for January, ' xnovul of ripened Pruning, When" and How. U The j()l)l>iIlg_ gardeners and others, who go about trimming (they often call _it thrumrni_ng") gr'ape vines, and fruit and ornamental trees, look so wise, and surround the matter with so much inystery, that many ordinary peo ple fear to undertake it. As to the timeof pr'uniug--we refer to the re.- wood--it may be done at an_v-tirne between the fall "of the leaf, and when the swelling of the lmds in(liCates that new leaves are about to he produced; It is not advisable to prune in severe winter weather, as at that time, the wood may crack and make a bed wound. Besides that is `a time when it is uncomfortable to do the Work. The outt for one who would undertake to do his own prune ing is: a sharp pruning~knife, a. pair of pruning shears; a pruning saw, 2). e. a. saw witha narrow blade, the teeth of which have a wide set. For branches not over two inches in diameter at the base, rnanyprefer a broad,rstout chisel to a saw. 'I his has a socket into which- handles of various lengths can be in- sertedp The chisel is placed at the `under side of the branch to be removed, and the end of the handle is struck up wards with a heavy mallet. All large wounds should be covered with some material to protect them from the weather. Shellac varnish is best for this purpose, but u at the present price of alcohol, is too expensive.` Melted grafting wax is the best substitute, and in the absence of this, any` thick paint may be used. To prune understanding- ly, one must know something of the manner of growth of trees, etc. _The? most important point is this: the growth next spring will proceed from the buds, that were formed last season. --pAmerica.n' A griculturist for January. ' ` u 1 ll True Pouteness. During the great re on New Yeafs Dav, and when it seemed.certa.in that the frame buildings on Oroghan street must go,`, a man calmly ascended the front , steps of one house and rang the bell. . A '. ; woman came to the door and he removed - his hat and pend: ` I January '28, l886. ,,`....`... ...-_ .... `Cb ..--- "'6 _.---__-- _ lm (lvtmyml ones removed, and e iu`.vmTl-I for s=.e'd, for-vmark_e+., `or )11::1_a.~;u, put liy thelI1: I There iw In-..r hxvltnell 1::-mes: ()_f g1_'..lS_S ; I10 ma .=; '1.....4~:.-b in the f'x`;ux1i=. .3 the doors, z: }v..~(:n;<'i I.1|(:'.l')(`IllS,.V\i an I Wolk \ '.: z_v, ' Tim g_;:u'-wt; will. be (men'- `I.- Px~\"t'.:1})S _yn_l1 say this vgfr; xu-xl-:. A`t::'2.ny ram, you will_ hubjllu-_v :-x' T}_;'m)d br-'uch'.fu1` I say to you an sich philanthropists as hev striven fur laws to legalize de union of whites an blacks, dat a. mo griev- ous wrong was nebber committed on pos- terity. De result am to add to de num- ber of no-race folks. It am to make hon- est white folks disgusted, an honest black folks indignant. It am to give pride, ambition, an self respect to young men an young women, an den seek to delib- erately griad em to pulp in a social way. Let us now purceed to bizness. 95 must un. See U|4llUl-in . `_`I sav to you, my freus, dst de pusson neW,h0ldin' de moas painful an . emkar-' rassiniposishun. is dis kentry am (19 man who am neither black nor white~-who be- longs to no race-wh. am `too good fur one an not good nutf fur do other. I speak of de mulatto. He has got de pride of de white man, an yet he am not white. ~ He feels hisself superior to de black man, but am _driben to his label fur society an to do business. -He am looked down upon by one an cordially hated by another furno fault of his. _' 1 _--.___ _.-.l.-L IIIIULIIUI. LLIL IIU LCIIIIU UL lllo N of; one of you men. wid your pitch- black faces turned dis way, would trade. dat complexion of two-thirds white if a." bag ofpgold war. ung at you to bind de bargain. When you go home, an de little black faces" peep at you from de trundle bed, deir werry` blackness makes- your ole hearts glad. ' Let folks call em -niggera if dey will, but dey belongs to a race of 60,000,000 people In de United States. ` T I - I ,l.!1,,,;'|._,,.-2_L_l lly Ull."Jl.I|llBloDl-lI.iUBn . "We kin look up an down dis hall an see ebery shade of color, `from de ebony blackness of Samuel Shin to de gold com-. plexun of Waydown Bebee`, but dat am a ditfereut matter. No" man kin lay his hand on a member, either active or honor- at y, who has so entirely ignored de eter- nal tness of things as to marry into` an- other race an brought a life-long curse upon innercent chill en. While de laws in sartin States may sanction sich mar- riages,.Ickin but look upon em wid de greatest abhorence. De degradashun -of de one kin not elevate de posishun of de other. ~ ,,, L... 1.1. .1- ..... .._ Qovunnnnnwvnn juvlvly v----- There is now being manufactured here an } article` for instantly removing` pain of any acute external nature, and it is certainly the most perfect cure "for neuralgia, headache, toothache, and the like that has ever been tried. It is called Fluid Lightning from the : rapxdmanner in which _it acts. and is manu- factured Eby McGrezor 8; Parke.~ Sold in Barrie; by Geo. Monkman, Druggist. 7 AAA Isuuu laU uunu In uulvu, nuu anus . "Heah am a letter from a cuAll d gem -' lan of high renown in St. Louis axin e if Vde fack date an applicant has a white wife amconsidered cause to rejeck him, De Seckretary will be requested to reply to de affeck data it am . an I want to call publick attention to by-law No. 4,286,420 which reads : `No applicant who am libin in de marriage state wid a white female kin be received into dis club under any cir:-.umstances. ? 4 l`\.Vn Ir: lnnlr nn on nmn 11;: An What a. Gentleman Is. . ` The essential charactenstics of a gen - tleman, says Mr. Mathews, are not an iout;wa.1'd varnish or veneer, `but inward qualities, develnped in the heart. I`I... .I..`..u-yum -nun n .n...I~l'n.nnn n+ `ha-xv} .|IcI/IAUIU-3 b|\J"\4Jl"J\/LI ll: unnu JA\1lIl v- _1`he lrover was a. gentleman at_ heart, zuul in_'spuv,ch also, of whom this anecdote is. told. He was driving cattle to 7ma.rk`eb nne day when the snow was clevp, save on the highway. The (lrpve cnmpelled a. -may tuturn out. of-the road and tread m the deep suu_W.' T . T tY\,`I'...I...... ....3J LL,` .1....'........ '>n'l'.I.-nu ml!` Madame, I came to o`e[rT mi [sex-vVic'es: in rippingup carpets and - taking down, . bedsteads. - 1.17 ,- -_- _-.._ 1.2.: :_.:....a N J... -.., neuat.ea.aa." v __ "You are very kind, indeed, she re- plied, with a. how, ,but we are going to take our chances. `The first galoot. who jumps in here to grab` furniture will never know gvhat broke his neck! A !" V 7 , , -_______ 75 , Brother Gardner on uueegenation. I After Brother Gardner had opened the" meeting in due and ancient form he placed a. letter on the desk and. used his jack- knife to hold it down, and said : l(U..._L -..... .. `-15.... :unl\OIA 1| nnI"A l'IAlI\ _- 3 foot- -weary. own by poll the She sat ukulx nlA\Ivv l\Iad2nn, said the -drover. taking off his hat, "if the catt .e.k1)ow as well'as I. what they should do, you would not walk in the snow. U ' A ` :1 1' I . 11 . - 1-`! I Jul IAIU DI.I\JVVo - Charles Lamb tells a story of Joseph Price. a London merchant who reverenced womanhood in every form in which it came before him T ' xvrl It 9! '1 1| '0 I | \/Kill`) IJ\Jl\l.l\J I-III I have seen him, writes the genial essayist, stand bareheaed (smile, if `you please)`, to a servant girl while she has been inquiringnof him the way to some street, in such a. posture of unforced civility as neither to embarrass her_ in the acceptance nor himself in the offer of it. I 1......` ..n.-..;. Li... kn n,....L:...u.... H6-nu, `countess. uvvuyuwuvv ll\'l |Jl.|lua_\J|| Ill lulu \Jl.I\Jl. \Jl. av- I have seen him, he continues, ten- derly escort a market-woma.n_whAom he had encountered in ashowern exalting his umbrella over her poorbasket of fpuit that it mlght receive no damage, with as much carefulness as if she had been a. These anecdotes show what genuine politeness is. It is 9. kindly spirit which expresses itself kindly to all. Of one who possesses it the remark` is never -ma.de, He can be a. gentleman when he pleases. As Mr. Matthews says-and we wish boys to inemorize the saying-- He who can be a. gentleman when he pleases, never pleases to be anything else. Enforcing a. Rule. Say, you dirty yaller-skinned Chineel I left two annel shit-ts an a pair 0 over- alls here to be washed the other day, an when 1 sent my boy around to geb m an_ tell yer I d lost the check, yer said `no cheeky no washy to im. . ' `Inn nknn`pnn -nn- rung`-inn mu` nnn VIIDVIIJ I I\l VI IIUIIJ U\I II-II! No checkee, no washee. Dlat allee litee` ; me no diltee, me no yallee skin. Me Ohinee man. Me lun. washes house. No checkee, no.wa.shee. V ' H _ i......., T'l1 ....u...L -.....- ...........'Il nnnnnnn ... L`\I UIICUEWW, Il\I VV $II\}Ul . J. hen I'll mash your mug all over your face, and the irate patron of Tuna `Lung began to work his arms. A moment later, he was so mixed up with a Ohinauian that you could hardly tell which was which. He got an awful thrashing, and when " he came out of that laundry with one ear bitten off, one eye hanging `down onhia cheek and the other closed for repairs, he mournfully said to a man, who asked him` 1 what ailed him : ' 5 , 1, 1 . _ _ _ _- g2. .17. ` WIIGII CIIUEI llllll u _The_ rule 0 that wash house air `No cheeky; no washy, an I'm dad gummedit they don't enforce it. ' V swelled Neck. Mrs. Henrv Dobbs, of -Berridale, Parry Sound, testifies to a. prompt cure of enlarged glands of the neck and sore throat by the E mternal and external use of Hegyard s Yel- i-low Oil. Yellow Oil is 3 sure relxef for all painful condilions. ' ` - '~ . T ` ctor? I w fetch 1' dead. RI] 3 Good morning. - Hamilton Happenings, ._ __-__r L_..._. __,,.___l_ ._A.._.._. WINK vnas uubuumucu ' Vhell, Sergeant, dot makes me V hop- ping madt. Yf I lend Somebody money und doa.n get him back dot vhill be `all right, but if someboay makes a. fool of me `he must look 9. leed-leT oudt E Dis morn- ins: dot same man, `mib dot same paper in his hand, comes in mite. beautiful shmile on his nose. Shake vhas dere, uud he makes me a. sign to go in und broke dot fuller all oop like kindling-wood. . Ser- geant, you nught to see how limber dot chap Avhas after I let go of` him ! ? Hr I........,l S 14- IL; `mm: at thn Pdinn uuap 'V.l.l.3 U.l.hCl.' 1 LCD SH us. uuu . I heard of. 11:. He `was at the Police Court an hour ago "to get a.- warrant for you. ' N 0 ! . Yes, he was; That -affairs will cost you $25. '_ ` ` But he calls me names ! Oh-, no. He was attering you. Und doan he believe I -vhas some greenhorns T ' No. V V Und he doau make some fun of me 2 N o. - I ` I Say, Sergeant, keep your eye on m till I shpeak to you ! I buys Shake a. watch for Uhristmas. I goes home und shump on dot watch untilo nobody `can nds. wheel! We buy him 9. suit of clothes. I goes home und takes dot suit and makes splinters of him 1 (`Van - .' j walk vhas astonished K15 EUUB uuuu DUDDU auyo IIU luv . Fodder. it seems like you better go back to Shermany, Eaferbody takes you for some suckers, und you doan know when` eomepody` makes a. fool of you. `How vhas dot '1 `Vhen dot man calls you ya. philan- thropist he means you ca.n t see after 4 o clock.A He tvhas insulting you, und you vhas tickled! Vhy, fadder, if somepody in `Chicago calls a. man a philanthropist he I vhas knocked down so queek dot der side- u1TA...II Q ...... ..L AAL -nnlrnu rnn Finn- an-. Dnnder. Phuantni-opist. _ Sergeant, said Mr. Dundepr.` as he en- tered the Central Station yesterday, dot boy Shake has got me into some troubles again, and I like to ask some advice. What is it '1 I I . Vhell, Shake vhas a purty good boy. If he goes oudt nights und I fuller him wit a. glub you neifer see howshe ies for home. He goes mit Toledo eund -Chicago, und he vhas sharp ash steel. Yes, I know about Jake. A Yesterday aman mit a paper in his hands comes in my place und vhants me to subscribe a dollar to help some asylum. He says somebody tells him I vhas a phil- anthropist. Dot tickles me you see, but Shake winks and holds oop his nger, und I tells dot man to come in again. Vhen he goes oudt Shake says to me : u'm..A.1.... :+ nnnrnn lilm vnn better on at v unconv- V"V"hat the .hop1ifth' aaid--A}waya a go_od plan to have at-mething in store. ax-.-.?..-- '16!- "Und after; dot I call Shake down cel- .lar to look for rats, und he nds so manyj und he vhas so tired out dot he doan leave his .bed ffir two weeks! It vhas `some put-up shob to haf me arrested und .. avhay in der papers, und" I-! Say, Sergeant E Tl\l` '3 ' VV U11 3 .- - _ - Doan let some pn1icemans- shtop at my place if he hears shrieks imd groans und wails. It vhus only me und Shake IfoI do :m .bring don boy oop in der vh_uy he should go he brings my gray hairs in sorrow mit`. de ,_{al1ows." L vaovo - . A smart chap on the high C :--01df Neptune. . . I i Stranger than Fiction. Avnlzmclies pay stmn;_;e pmnlis some- times. Iu1806 an zwaluuche at Calm)- cittllal, in the Grisnns. c:u`rie('l 3 wood bodily from one side of the valley to the other,- and left it stzmding there ; a pine tree was planted on the roof of the par- sonage ;' and the villagers were Drovided with rewood for many a. year without the trouble of fetching it. In 1824, fty- two sledges, `while journeying tlirough the Scalletta pass, -to Davos, were buried under a Schneeschild, and the wind of it sent the drivers and passengers spinning `through the air, as if they had been shot from 9. mortar._ The snow being fortun- ately loose and powdery, and the alight- ing soft,-nobody was hurt. .In March," .1824, ha hnnse in Aloerthal, in which were twelve children, was overwhelmed by an avalanche, and turned over on" its side. When the parents, who were absent at -the time, returned, and dug down to the duor, they found the dozen quite com- plete, and all alive`, -The house, it -is hardly necessary topsey, was a. wooden. chalet.` IIl'\(ili 1 I` 1 ,0 IV! _ . _ _ .___1-_]__ ' jruuunns or Human um mans- VVIUIJ. BCJIQQD w--Invv graph: for the Se:-16u:-`l.'ho Bolt } ~ , . the soulorlcan The game. for the` furnaoe-teindei-- , Poker. ` ' - ,- -. a nun r\1u UIIHILU In In 1825 two goatherds of Churwalden, ', goinglshome after milking their goats, with their milk tins on their backs, were struck down by an avalanche.- The tin of one of them broke, and the warm. milk run- ning down over his head and down his neck, melted the snow from his mouth and nostrils, so that he could breathe. When disinterred a few hours later, he was alive, while his companion whose tln had not broken, was dead. In 1858, a" `peasant of Soglio (_G'ra.ubunden), hearing the roar of a coming avalanche, threw himself under the lee or "a wall. The wall saved him from being `suffocated -or crushed, and he succeeded in freeing him- self ; but in" the struggle his garments got lled with snow, and the snow out- side treezing` that inside, he was encased in a panopoly of ice, and had the great- .est diculty in getting home. Before undressing he had-to bethawed-- . A Model Mun. - A well dressed young man entered the private oice of a bank and asked for a. "situation. The banker, a. benevolent look- ing old gentleman, kindly` invited the young man"to be seated. . Ala ,, 311:!` `R1: clam`-`Airmail I!I`llII\ `In IIJTII Ill] I19 ElIh|l\J\l ""5 Ah, said the old gentleman, when he had read several letters which the appli- cant handed him, `fI see you are well re- commended. n.lI7'-- -,,. ,_ 1' I_--,_ I 1 I UUIIIIIIVLIILUUO Yes, air, for I have held many im- portant po_sitions.' - ` rIIt\Dl'\IIlv`|1II I1v|t`nuu`-no-at`. iv:-L110: t\1Ia:v-nnnn L PK,` Will I I\I_I-IlI\ILII Thopough1y understand your business, I suppose '1'. "Oh, yes. "These letters say your habits are good. - They are, air, . Don t use tobacco 3 Yes. .41`? I 91.]; run Wel 1.I\ 17 uun 99 I