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PAGE TOUR TRE CAtIADIAN STAIESMAN. BOWMANVI1LE, ONTARIO THURSDAY, DEC. 1SU~, NUS EDITORIALS Christmas 1958 Now is the season when wve sing «"Peace on earth." An inseparable part of the ageless Christmas message is the angels' exhortation ta the shepherds out- side Bethlehem: " . . . on carth peace, good will foward mhen." It is a goal whlch men of good wiil wili have sought through ail the centuries of Christcndom, writcs Editor Ken Mayhew in The Yorktan (Sask.) Enterprise. The quest has been beset by almost constant frustration. Wars have grown In scope as the worid's population bas grown, and their destructive ferocity bas increased with the increase of man's scientific knowledge. Neariy 2,000 years aftcr the first Christmnas, whcn the Son of God came to bring peace ta the worid, there is fia peace. Even though there is fia ominous nuclear flash on the horizon, no sound of gunfire in the streets, we know peace is still not with us. There were wars and rumors of war, social unrest and injustices of ail kinds- when aur Lord was born, and this con- dition bas maintaincd. There are times when it seems we must sureiy conciude "time of troubles" is here ta stay. No sooner were we momentarily "disengag- ed" f rom a Middle Eastern crisis in Jord-an and Lebanon, a few wecks ago, than West and East fotind- thcmselves on the edge of mortai danger over Quemoy. Canada Saw its worst uncmpioymnent problem in ycars, iast winter, yet we have had more strikes in -the year naw closine,, than in any year since the 'end af the War. Inflation is rampant. The cost of liv- Ing index bas risen by weli over 50 points since the end of Worid War II and the actual wage index h as increased by 87 points. We have aliowed costs and prices ta spiral upward as if there were fia limit ta the amnounts that could be expected Just For Just for today 1 will try ta live through thîs day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once.. I can do somcthing for twelve bours that would appali me if I feit that I had ta kccp it up for a lifetime. Just for today I wili be happy. This assumes ta be truc what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as thcy make up their minds ta be." Just for today I will adjust myscif ta what is, and not try tp adjust everything ta my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it cornes, and fit myseif taoit. * Just for today I wiil try to strengthen my mind. I wiii study. I wili learn same- thing useful, I wiil not be a mental loafer, 1 will read somcthing that requires effort, thought and concentration. Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways; I wiil do, somebody a, gQod kirn, and nat get found out; if anybody kn&ws of il, il will not count. 1 will do at' £rom the consumers. The "pnding* spree that began with the end of hostilities keeps on and on, and mare money was spent on iuxury buying these past few weeks than in any previaus time in history. Officialiy and unofficiaily we have encouraged organized groups ta demand and ta coIlect Mnore than an equitabie share of the wealth we produce. It may be asked what ail this has to do with Christmas 1958. Christmas is the season of the year when our thoughts, by the very nature of the event we celebrate, shouid cause us ta think of peace and how best we can fulfili the mission that the Christ came ta earth ta perform. 1 It has long been known that one of the chief aims of Godless communism is ta reduce' the powers of freedom bv an economnic war. As Prime Minister Dief- enbaker bas pointed out, the threat of Communism is nat the ICBM, but in the field of peaceful production. The massive character of the Christ- mas celebration in our country, the Christ- mas trees alight, with ail their trimmings, in s uch an overhelming number of Canad- ian homes, the "Adeste Fideles" heartily sung by meni and women who are anv- thing but fideles - ail this by itseif constitutes a phenomenon of imposing proportions. Too sombre a theme for the Christ- mas season? We think not. Before we became immersed in Yuletide pleasantries should we nat give sincere thouaht ta the true mcanin-z of Christmas? The least we can do, if we profess ta be men of goodwill, is ta honor the Christmas mes- sage and its Author. When we do this, we will then have every right ta rejoice and be glad and jain the heaveniv throngr in singing: "Glory ta God in the* highest, and on earth peace, good wili taward men." Today lcast two things 1 don't want ta do-just for exercise. I wili not show ayone that my feelings arc hurt; they may bc hurt, but today I wiii not show il. Just for today I will be agreeabic. I wil look as wcii as I can, dress bccoming- ly, taik low, act courteously, criticîze not anc bit, not find fauit with anything, and not try ta improve or regulate anybody except myscîf. Just for today I wiil have a programme. I may flot foiiow il exactly, but I wil have it. I will save myscîf from two pests; hurry and indecision. Just for today I will have a quiet bahf- baur ail by myself, and relax. During this balf hour, some time, I will try ta get a better perspective of rny ife. Just for taday I wîll bc unaf raid. Especially I will not be afraid ta cnjoy what is beautiful, and ta believe that as I give to the worid, sa the worid wýil give ta me.-Reprinted from Canadaink. There is growing tcndency on the part af speakers and some parts of the press ta lay most of 'the biame for the dwindlîng dollar on the demands of Labor for mare maney. Government spokesmen are cautianing Labor ta desist from asking for higher wagcs, and management ta refrain from raising prices, says the Mca- faord Express. This argument falis on deaf cars. Management claims higbcr prîces arc necessary ta pay the increasing demands of Labor. Labor denies this. Itb daimns that highcr wages arc necessarv ta kecp up with the increasing casts of the things necdcd ta, live today. From the sidelines it appears that riither Labor nor Management bas been making vcry strenuous efforts ta salve this perpiexing and important question. It bas been casier ta get higher wages wîithaut giving an equivalent production increase. Management bas found il casier ta grant the increase and boost its own price and profit than ta argue about A steady rise in econamic buayancy can be expected -next year thraughout most of Canada. That is the heartening prediction which can be drawn from the ecanomnic indîcatars in this country and the United States, says The Surrey Leader. 0f course we cannat predict wbat will happen shouid the world become invaived in a major war, or even a "minor" one, if there be such a thing any mare. But there is no use planning on disaster. 'ÏU1e ar td0 m Estabishd 1854 with whjch la iflcorprated rhe lowmanyiIIm Nes,, The Newcastle Independent and The Orona News 1041h Year af Contînuous Service ta the Town of Bowman ville and Durham County 4N INDEPENDENT NEWSpAPER %< W SUESCRIPTiON RATES M;0O0 a Year, trictly in advance $5.00 a Year in the United States Authorised et» Second Citie Mail Post Office Deparim.nt, Ottawa Publishod hy THE JAMES PUBLISHING COMPANY Bowmantile, Ontario JOHN M. JAMES, EDITOR When the situation is analysed bath must accept some of the biame for the growing inflation which shrinks aur dollar with cvcry risc in prices. But much af the biame for the morass mbt which we are slipping must, in the long run, rest on the shoulders of govern- ment whelhcr il be Ottawa, Washington, Londan or Paris. If tbc men directing our destinies cannot do anything cisc thcy might at least do somcthing ta which thcy could refer the factions they are biaming for aur ecenomic ilis. Instcad af setting an example in economie frugality gavernmenîs today are throwing maney around like drunken sailors. Instead af seeking ways ta save mancy their experts arc busier thinking up new ways to raise marc maney ta send afler the cash they have alrcady squand- ered. Instead af looking inwar& ta their own poor management they are castigat- ing others for foilowing the example they tbcmsclves have set. Canada has corme thraugh fil teen years of unpreccdentcd growth. Through a massive immigration movement and on& af tbe highcsî birlh rates in'the world, 1the Canadian population bas been given a tremendous increase.g This in turn bas resulted in shilling of gears in ecanamic life. Demands have lripied for ncw raads and highways, schools and hospilals, dams and hydro power. Canadians bave been building new homes in the hundreds of thousands, wilh ail the assaciaîed major outlays an furniture and furnishings. The country bas gone through a "breather" spellfor the past ycar. * Invest- ment in capital outlay bas been high, but flot at the record rates we have become accu stomed la. Naw, wc led, Canada is rcadying ibseif for a new spurt of expansion in major prajects, as wcli as a steadily increasing home market for everylhing from bacon ta printing presses. Observations and Opinions Arthur Thompson af Kendal in send- ing bis rcnewal subscription says: "I appreciate your fine paper witb its wvide caverage ai local news and its fine edi- torials on lhings of vital importance." I'Iany lhanks for the comment, Mn. Thompson. Mîght wc aiso suggesl that now would be an excellent lime for others te rencw their Statesman. subscriptions. Many.people appreciate receiving gift sub- scriptions toa. The Statesman would make a worlhwhile Christmas present for a relative or friend hene or away from home. In the Dim and -.Distant Past From The Statemman Filer 25 YEARS AGO <1933) 49 YEARS AGO (1909) Rotary Club had its officiai A humarous piece reprinted visit from the District Goverti- fromn the Toronto Star urged or, who was Dr. Grant L. Bird buying such Christmas presents of Oshawa. President Tomniv as a rawhide for the teacher and Ross presid.ed. The Rotary Oc- his soul will cease to moan: tette composed of G. E. Chabe, for the loved and loving prea- L' S. Holgate, M. S. Dale, F. 0. cher, a nice new megaphoiie; cIveen, Dr. C. W. Slemon, H. buy a lid for sister Annie aad J. Knight, W. R. Strike and D. a gun for brother Frank and a R. Morrison, gave two fine pair of skates for Granny, and numbers. a kite for Uncle Frank. The Good Will Club contest Men's fur collars at McMur- for Statesman subscriptians ty's, a very nice gift for a man. ciosed with Mrs. J. E. Ander- fromn $4.00 ta $14.00; rnen's fin~e sonBowanvllethewinershirts from $1.00 to $1.50. and Mrs. Leon Dumas standing prieor, 0 .T.Alnpo second. Miss Claire Porteouspitr was advertising for the Nesletn, as hir, ad Mssholiday trade, "The Foreigner" F. Mlon, aks tockd, andrtssby Raiph Connor-$i.15, the Their primes were, scteîy"Boys Own", "Girls Own" and an eiectric refrigerator, chester-"hm" r lxHm,"h field suite, bedroom suite, and peopie's butcher"' advertised. a radio. fine stock of Christmas meats. F. A. Haddy had choice Christ- The local Goodyear plant r-2- mas fruits for baking. ceived an order from Johannes- Christmas Horse Show and .burg, South Africa for a hug-e Poultry Fair held in Bowman- conveyor belt, which was ex- ville was very successful. Driv- pected to be the largest manu- ing and heavy horses were factured in Canada. It was ta shown on Temperance Str?:et, be 1100 feet long, 42 inches and the dressed poultry was wide, 10 ply. displayed in the Council Cham- The Hon. Vincent Massey was ber in the Town Hall. J. L. Med- chief speaker at the annual caîf and F. A. Werry were wir.-t meeting cf Durham Liberal As- ners in the Agricultural Team, sociation, when W. J. Bragg, one of several classes. Mrs. Jas. M.P.*P., was again chosen ta be McKenzie had the best dressed the Liberal standard bearer. pair of chickens. Culninaing yer ofspeial Ice wvas in fine condition at efuortinthiaea of ec al .the skating rink. Admission 15c. Town Council completed its Bowrnanville High Sehool business year with a surplus of held a conversazione and invit- $2,000. It was pointed out th's ed the ex-students af the. pa-st was only a book surplus, as three years and other guesis. $34000of 933taxs rmaiedIt was held in the Assemblv $3,00 t 93 axs emindHall., ith refreshments servedi unpaid.in the Science raom. Principal Over a hundred baskets were John Elliott was chairman for f ta bz sent out ta unemployed the program. Those serving re-a, and needy families and citizens freshments were Misses Dora were urged ta donate to a fund Percy, Greta Wickett, Greta for the purpose. Mrs. E. R. Scott and Florence Allin. Bounsali was chairman of the Report of engineers on a wa- committee. terworks plan for Bowmanvillïp Notd in the Dim- and Distant wvas printcd in full. These men S column, date* 1883, the Domin- feit the whole town could be ion Organ and Piano factorv supplied with spring water at was entirely lit by gas, the about 1,000 gallons a minute carvinx shop having been fitted for a two miii raise in the taxa Up the week previous. rate. t O uldoors With Pete McGiIIe n Rcprinted from The Telegram, Toronto I waiked mbt a general store in a village Ibis wcek and my memomy did a few backward flips as I gazed rip at the many items of inerchandise suspended from the ceiling. Something seemed ta be missing, and in a few seconds of retrospect it came ta nie. the smeiis. That is one of my mast vivid bayhood memaries, the aroma of the genemal store. Of late I've heard that same of the advertising types who have been responsible for some frightening gimmicks in the realm of supermarket sales promation, have suggested that clients blow delightful 'appetizing food smelis into their huge stores. The smeli cf coffee, perhaps, or chocolate or oranges, or something else that would exercise the glands having to do with the appetite. Tliey're wvasting their time. The enchantment of the oId- time general store with Its aromas, smelis, and scents couldn't be replaced synthetically. Ait these dlsappeared wlth the advent of canning and packaging, with cellophane, wax-wrap, foil-wrap and a dozen other coveringsalamed at sealing ln the freshness and aromas. 0f course, It could be that the harassed advertislng mian who came up with that suggestion had lived more than hait a century and spurred by nostalgia, reached out for recognition cf the allure cf the crossroads emporium cf long ago. I remember standing with my nase even with the caunter, my fingers gripping my mothcr's hand, the first lime I entered anc of those palaces of wondcrs. The magie of the general store took hold of me the moment I cntered and I sniffed deeply of a fragrance like nothing cisc, a smell so wondrously clusive Ihat no French perfumer could hope ta reproduce it, yet s0 distinctive that today il dissolves the years cf Ibis aging country boy, and attires me in knce pants, long cotton stockings and my first pair of heavy boots. The general store's bouquet came from innumerable sourcs: from ils huge coffce mili as' brightiy mcd as a fire engine; froni ils great canisters cf bulk tea and from an array of lesser canisters containing cînnamon bark, allspice, claves, nutmeg and black pepper, from which emanated the combined incense of al India, Bomnea, and other sPice counîries. Yet this was only the base, net tbe sum total cf the general store smell. Modifylng It were the militer and quite Indescribable smclls of unbleached muslin, cf turkcy red, linen crash and other darker dyed calices. Addlng te It aise, ln scason, was a contribu- tion of rubber boets, feit boots, buekle rubbers and smoky shoe- Add, toc, the pungency of pound upan pound of piug tobacea: Macdonald's wilh the Iiny silver heart embedded in it; Curncy in a buge slab from wbicb a five-cent plug was hacked by a counler suicer, and a brand callcd Napolcan. 0f course, at any scason there was wafted fnom the rear of bbe store a mild dose of kerosene, lcmpered by the sharp scent of vinegar dropping from the wooden spigot of a barrel. And the mcllaw smeil of a huge cheddar cheese. Sait berring, finnan haddie and cod, neslling ini sait, added a dclightful lang of the biny .Alanlie. These wenc the major balms and musk and mymrh and attar Ihat blcnded la produce the heavenly redolence of the general store. As somnething te see, the interlor et a gencral store prescnted a panorama far tee elaborabe and imposing te cover completely. There were no small packages, no numbers, ne slgns, nothing te designate dcpartments or indicate prices. You hadt b look; and In looklng there was spread before your cyts almost everything that man, weman an child thaught thcy wanted. Ib seemed bo me that the storckccper's merchandising plan was that contrast shouid govcrn display. Hence buggy whips hung over the show cases of ribbons and nations and such. Canthooks stood In a corner next la the yard goads. Fly-spccked straw bats and new woo]en mittens were suspendcd on a wire above patent medicines whose labels lcstified ta as pawerful a belief in miracles as if, instead of ment pecborals or invigarators, the bottles had cantained wondcr drugs. Tht sugar, eandy and biscuits werc in barreis, and a basket- woven bag contained figs. The owner needcd fia filing system, he ceuid put bis finger an any item aI a moment's notice. But the gencral store was marc than a store. It contained the village pont office; and the village parliament conslstlng et a long bex stove, four cr five chairs and a sawdust box. Here in this one barri-like roomn was concecnraled the life ef the community 'as il tofachcd on matters Federai, Provincial, Municipal, Medical, Mercantile and Remantie. Here was the throbbing heart cf the countryside where local and rural news @d Joungman -s Columrz It ls doubtful If a dozen out cf our fifteen thousand regular readers are cognizant of the existence of the Forest Pathol- ogy Laboratorv at Maple, On. tario: Its PU-Pose is ta discover the causes of tree diseases,-and, by rescarch,. evolve an ecanom- ically scîentific method of con- trai. We are privileged ta have, in Ontario, one of the most unique co-operative laboratory organi- zatians in North America, if nat in the Warld. The reason v'je kçnow sa littie about this is be- cause- of the reluctance of the People involved ta toot their collective harns. Sa we'll do it for themn, briefly, ta the best of our l'imited ability, becaus2 thpy are a group of selfless indivi- duals dedicated ta the task of pratecting aur valuable forests through their paînstaking, scl- entific skilis. Last weeuk. reforestation per- sonnel from Lindsay and Twe,2i districts journeyed ta thé "Lab"' ta meet the officers in charge of the various projects, listeýn ta each gîve a brief description of his endeavours, and ta make notes of bis answers ta the searching questions asked b.y the visitors, each of whom is a practicai forester, dedicated tb the econornical development of au- ren'ewable forest resources. It w.as time well spent be- cause it gave the "Lab" folks a chance ta size up the men Who put into practice the re- recammended proceedures; an~d the vi-sitors were pleased to meet and converse xvith the clever, modest scientists Who ýare trving so bard ta establish r means cf controlling aur forest e diseases. They answered aur -questions frankly and concise- . ly. r The <'Lab" building was com- 1Pieted in 1953, was built, will -be maintained, and kept In r2- .pair by the Ontaria Govern- ment. But the staff (at present, 143), and equipment is provided by the Fedýeral Government, and, just ta make it more democra- ttic, there is an adviso-v commit- etee ta the Federal Minister of Agriculture of four top pathol- agists, and an advisory commit- rtee ta the Ontaria Minister of tLands and Farests of four top 1reforestation men. These eight experts form a cammittee, who rneet. periodically, ta discuss 1the merits of accomp1ishment,, and ta plan future projects. A key figure in this entire ven- ture is the "off icer- in -charge" of the "Lab", Dr. L. T. White, a persan of unusual intelli- gence, industry and charm. By this time, you will understand why tinis unusually unique, co- operatiý-e arganization has, in the space of ten years, attaineýd such recognized stature that, many , representatives fromn other States have beaten a path ta its door, seeking answers ta their mnany, varied forest di- sease probiems. If anyone is apprehensive of the cast, ta the taxpayers, of this set-up, just reflect that, Ontario's land area measures 363,282 square miles, of which, about haîf is designated as for- est lands. The net values ofi nel cari work together if given production by the forest indus- try, woods operatlons, ipulp and paper, lumber, wood using, and paper using industries tai nex- cess of haîf a billion' dollars annually, and as Dr. White points out-*'The large capital investment that makes this pro- duction possible, and the wel- fare of those dependent upon a continued productio.z of for- est, and forest produciý,T ust be protected thraugh Ce ragres- sive policy designed to- procure maximum utilization under sus- tained yield." Our meeting was informalfI lnteresting, informative, as ut learned of such things as Pale'i, and Roat Coilar Weevil attack- ing aur Christmas trees; the causes of Dutch elm disease;, white pine blister rust, and how to contrai these pests. ba- sides valuable data on tree mrot development, and how the staff will, in future, contrai humid. ity and heat in their newly con- structed green houges, ta withia a few points of natural humid- ity and heat by the ingeniaus use cf water and sun, Because of iimited space, this article does scant justice to the subject, but be assured of one thing-your money is being used wisely by people whase_ sole desire îs ta serve, ta th,- best of their respective abili- ties, in a field that cari have far reaching consequences on a large portion cf our future econamy. Let us wish them con- tinued success. They are an excellent example cf how well federai, and provincial person- Home "Yes, Jimmy," 1 said, smil- ing sa hard I almost loosened my top plate. L "Seven," said Jimmy. "Seven?" "Ducks," said Jimmy. There are times when 1 sert. ously regret having left the aid homestead. Sometimes the thought of a pair of plow han. dies on the back forty seems mighty good. In the pause that foilowed I discarded the dee1re ta burst into a sang waving my arms in rhythm in the hope that everyone would fallow. 1 let it go. "Good." If said. "There were seven ducks. Now let's. . ." "T'aint seven,"l said Joe. 1 took a deep breath. The footsteps in the hall passed my door and tripped sweetiy down the back stairs.,§trength flow-. ed back into,,MY es "Ail right,"1IÀ. "We'll dp Joe's riddle. TeuiLs t again, Joe." Jae did. From the happyp,ý. looks on the faces before me. V I got the impression that 1. was the only one flot in on the a.nswer. I applied algebra with a little plain geometry throwri 'n. "Five," I said. l'Il say this: maybe Skeitort thinks he's good and maybe Benny can stili raillem in the aisles, but they can't hold a candie ta me. When I get iaughs, I get laughs. The guf- faw couid have reached the ears of almost anyone. It was shortly after dismissaI, just while I was scratching the words "Question Period" fro-ri my time table, when a small hand tapped me on the iower part of my back. "Sir," said Joe, In a voice* slightly higher than a whisper. "I thought I'd better tell ya. The answer's three." "Thanks, Joe," I ai&. Men who neyer do ans' more than they gel paid for will -:SUGAR and SPICE:-1 (A school teacher columnist from Trenton whose articles appear regularly in The Tren- tonian.) ASK ME A QUESTION "Now, boys and girls," I said, letting mny spectacles dribble slowly down nîy nase ta cm- phasize the gravity of niy words. "I wvant y ou ta feel free at this time ta ask nie any ques- tion." There wvas a moment's sil- ence, broken anly by th-ee children dropping their rulers on the floor and two boys scrap- ng their heels aiong their desks. "That," 1 said, "is what I'm hcre for. I mean, that's why I'm here." The' silence reverted ta its usuai uproar. The children, sen- ing there was no melodrama in rny statements, relaxed. One hap ini the middle row hooked .15 knee onto his desk top in rder ta be more comfortable. "There 'must be," I continued, patting one of the front-seat boys paternally with the back )f ny hand, '"many, many ques- aons you'd like ta ask me." If there were, it didn't show. ve seen more enthusiasm in he eyes of a non-athletie neighi- )or watching a hockey game on ineighbor's TV. "Just ask me anything," I )rompted, with a side glance dthe condensed encyclopedia1 )n my desk. "Science. Social: tudies, Arithmetic. That's it.j ,et's have a problem." was uttcred and peddied; the mecca for every citizen young and aid, a place ta get advice; hear gossip; make decisions and buy the essentials of life. Let the supermarkets grow bigger and bigger, they can do nathing ta recreate the overaîl enchantment of a vanishing Canadian institution-not even if they blow gusts of synthetic smells down the hospital-clean corridors of the great modern merchandising marts. I wondcr, though, if the lîttle guys who venture into the supcr groccry stores of this era, aren't just as thriiled, just as astonished as I was when the ald-tame general store engulfed me sa many years ago. s r c b ti b a p ai o1 s By Earl Everson cd him in. "'Tve gaI a probiem,"1 he said: "Good. Good. Good," I ap- plauded, tramping deiicately on the toes of some mother's dar- ling who may or may not have been going ta trip me. "Good. ýLet's aIl listen ta Joe's prob- lem.", He took a big breath and :et us have it. "If," he said, "there were two ducks in front of one duck and two ducks behind one duck and one in the middle, how many ducks were there?" I paused. As a malter of fact 1 was sort cf leaning toward other types of problems. I took tbis opportunity ta pick Up' a rubber band from the floor near the seat of a yaungster who stared at it as if it were as unfamiliar as an atom bomb. "That," I tld Joe, "Is a rid- die. I didn't mean riddles. I meant questions." Joe favared me with a grin. "Dad couldn't get it eilher," he said. I pushed my glasses back far- ther onto my nase and after a hurrîed glance at the time, menlally computed that there were 180 seconds left in the three minutes ta go. A measur- ed step in the hall which could have been anyone brought a faint perspiration ta my brow. "I don't say I can't get it,"I 1 told hlm. "I merely said that 1 don't approve of the quest- ion." A hand shot Up from the left Wouldn't il bc fun ta be Santa Claus just for a day and give everyone the gifts they realiy, truly wantcd, re- gardless of cost or incanven- ien ce? What wauld yen do if you had such a Power thrust upon you? Would you heap your favourite people ivith mink coats, Cadillacs and automa- tic dishwashcrs? If you did, Of course, the magie wouldn't Iast, and on Christmas morn- ing, ail the fabulous presents woul<l vanish, just after they'd been unwrappcd. And you'd bc as popular as a sociaiist ln the Senate. Because, yau sec, Ihose aren't the things that people reaily, truly want. And the Santa Claus wand wauîd oniy work for realv, truly gifts, flot just things lhey'd like fon bhe sake of vanity or cam- fort or prestige. 1 know some cf tht pres- ents I'd bestow. To childieso couples who wantcd chiidrcn very badly, I'd give net one, but four of the tatbest, pret- tiest, pinkest, wettest babies you ever saw, two boys and a brace of girls. And I'd throw in a large battît cf tranquillizers and a pair cf straitjackets. To ail childnen, I'd grant iL s2t of parents wha would answer ail their questions pa- ientiy, read stories cvery night aI bedtimc, go sliding on the bilh wilh lbem, play endiess games with lhem, not make them cal anything tbey didn'I like, bug tbem whcn lhey were burt or troubledi, lave them alwaj's, and whale the tan out o them wheni they needed ij Dispensed by Bill Smiley On Christmas mornlng, I'd present ta ail aid people a lhree-menths reprieve from 911 thefr aliments, aches and pains. I'd give themn a good appetite and a rare fine set df new teeth te go wlth it. il give them love and klsses ln large measure from a ver- iiable host of grandchlldren. And I'd throw in a round- trip plane ticket te Florida, Paid-in-advance reservations at a pesh Miami hotel, and a fat cheque te let theni play the races, get married again or do whatever cisc they wanted, while they were spending the wlnter down there. To ail clergymen, wbat- ever the colour of their clath, I'd give a special Christmas present. They'd gel a church packted la the doors with pea- pie who sang lustily, listened attentivcly, prayed humbly, gave bounteously, and con- linued ta do ahl of these in like measune durnig the re- mainder cf the parsan's ten- ure. Ail mothers et large tam- llies weuld get somethlng simple but acceptable for Christmas. I'd previde them with familles whe appreclat- ed ail the work they dld, praised their cooking, told theni once ln a whhle they ooed nice, wiped their feet whcn they came in, dld the dishes frequently and paid theni a littie attention on ather occasions than Moth- er's Day. And I'd throw ln the tull-time services et a cracking good hausekeeper, and pay ber salary for a year. On Christmas Eve, I would £ive ail merchants cash regis- ters se stuffed with eurrericy they cauld net close them. And t ben I'd give them an irresistible impulse to take a big hunk cf their net profit and spend il on somebody who needed il, foreigri mis- sions or retarded hblidren or somebhing. What would I leave under the tree for the farmenu? You guessed it, Caleb. ]Pd grant them a whole year cf exact- ly the kind of westher ther wanted, regardiess et the comtort or convenience cf the rest cf us. 0f course, I'd have te find them somethig ciao te bellyache about, but tbey' ceuld probably fail back on the complaint that ail those tremnendous crops were tait- lnt a lot eut of tht land. AlI amateur goifers would be don atcd one season in which lhey sliccd not, non did thcy book, but piastered every drive 230 yards down the -out. All anglers would be given anc ycar in whiclx they were- smarter than the fish. Ail wcekiy editors would be given one week hI which there were ne mistakes in the paper. Ail wivcs would be given anc year's absence fremn the borlng, Insenultive, calions, stingy, Inattentive cretini thcy are marrîed te. And ail husbands would reccive a, similar parole fram the nai- glnt. complainint, spOftd. thrlft, overbearingr barrida thcy are marricd te. There, I don'l l wL IVve left anybcdy ou .If 1 have, just d rap me a le at the South Pale. I' i sort ot a lcft-banded, or . aouthpole. Santa Claua. Right A round Why Blame It Ail On Labor? Canada 1959 a 1 E,..- PAGE rolm . TIM CANADL4jR STAIMM". BOWNL4NVnljt ONTAMO -rau tsnAx, Dre. lm lm 1