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AS--The Canadian Champion, Wednesday, August 20, 2008 48 aü1rii Am.#'/ COMMUNITy (0)878-2881 www.kuaufln .CM Surrogate mom Woman gives ulimate gift to sise By Stephanie Hounseil CANADIAN CHAMPION STAFF / It was around the saine time thai sistersjoanne Agnew and Sylvia Berrey, just a year apart in age, decided to start their own [amibies. They fully expected to soan be sharmng the joys and challenges of moiherhood, raising children close in age. Alter jusi two months, joanne faund out she was preg- nani. Sylvia and her busband, Wallace, kept trying. And try- ing. Five years later, Miltomian joanne and her husband, Kevin, had given birth ta two children with a third on the way while Sylvia and Wallace remained cbildless. Medicatian and visats ta a fertilhty chii proved futile. Heartbroken and in danger af gwving up, they decided ta adopt and were soan blessed with a little girl fram China they named Lily i ife was good. But they didn't want Lily ta, be an only child. Adoption wasn't an option a second time round. It was too expensive and rules had changed, makîng the process even more difficult. It pained joanne ta see her sister and brother-in-law suf- fer. Thats when the idea struck her. She cauld have a baby for her sister - hecome a surrogate mather. After thoroughly doing her research, she was sure it was what she wanied ta do and called Sylvia lasi summer ta let her know whaî she'd decîded. Fast focward ta îwa weeks ago. Joanne and Sylvýia are siîting on îwo couches in joanne's Milton home, a îiny bahy dressed in blue sitting between them. Little William was bori Augusi 6 at eight pounda, seven ounces. joanne is bath his biological mother and his aunt. And soan, Joanne is going ta have ta do probabiy the masi diffhcult îhîng shes ever had ta, do - say gaadbye. ln a few days, Sylvia and Wallace will he takîng William home ta Nova Scotua, where they'll stant their lives as a four- persan family AndJioanne will do her hest ta cape, knowing shne won'î be a mather ta, the cbild ta whom she gave birth. "It was harder emotianally than 1 tbougbt it wouid be goîng in," she admiîted. She said she was an emational wreck during the pregnan- cy, seeking the beip af a counseilor. He told bier she was like- ly gaievmng in advance, knawing wbat was ta came. Joanne said she feut peaceful right after William'is birth - knowing she'd done the rigbt thing - but feut the sadness creep back in shorîly after. "Now 1 am faced witb having te ay goodbye ta him" sine said, tearing up, "and uts gaing ta be very difficult. 1 feél iike l'm grieving. i'm grieving tihe loss. 1 had a baby, and nowim nat going ta have a baby" M But, she added, she dorA regret having William. "As sad as 1 am, 1 don't regret doîng it... 1 forever will have a special part in bus life. l'Il have a special bond witb bini forever." Joanne said she's nat sure if she wants ta hear aIl about William's firsis. lt migbt be jusi îaa hard. She'il have ta, take it as it cames, she said, day by day The idea ai becoming a surrogate mother for ber sîster was one Joanne said she îoyed with over thse years, but did- n't want ta pursue until she was sure she was fimisbed hav- GRAHAM PAINE / LANAIAN MLM'V." This past year has been a journey for sisters Sylvia Berrey (right) and Joanne Agnew, who had baby William for her sister. ing chiidren of ber own. Wben that rime came, the idea pre- sented itself again. "Once 1 started tbing about it, it was like a baill burtling out of contrai," she said. And Kevin didn't abject. "i have a very kind and wonderfui busband. He was on board from tbe very beginning," joanne said. Kevmn said b&s proud of bis wsfe for doing suris a seifles tbing. "I think its a wonderfui tising shes done. I'm very proud." Sylvia rememnbers wben Joanne first told ber the news. "She jusi called me on tise phone and said 'You need ta sit down."' Sbe had mixed emotions, Sylvia explained, witb pure joy mingled witb concern over ber sister - for emotianal rea- sons as weil as physîcai; afier ail, having a baby at the age of 38 brings witb it higber nisks than for a yaunger waman. Since Sylvia didn't have any eggs and Wallace wasn'î a spermn donor candidate, Joanne used ber own eggs and a donor. Tbe firsi attempt failed, wbiie the second succeeded. The pregnancy and delivery were relativeiy easy, Joanne said thankfully "Tbis was probably tise easiest (out of tbe four). 1 oniy gained 17 pounds. ht was like someane was iooking oui for me, being very kind." Sbe kent ber sister abreast ai every doctor appoîntment Altbougis Sylvia was ecstatic she wouid bave a baby, it wasn't easy seeing ber sister pregnani. "Some aspects were hard, because that sbould have been me havmng tbe baby," sbe said, adding, "Seeing pregnant peo- pie isn't easy for someone wbo can't get pregnant." Knowing there would be emonionai issues, Joanne and Sylvia decided tbey needed ta be completeiy bonesi witb each other tbrougbout the procese, speaking up wben same- tbing was botbering tbem. That banesîy has been extended ta each of ibeir children. Lily is naw four, wbile Kevin and joanne have nine-year-old Ben, seven-year-oid Ethan and Elia, 5. Bath were upiront ta their kida about what was happen- ing, and Sylvia said she'il do the same for William, not bid- ing froma bim thse speciai raie 'auntie Jo" piayed in bis bîrîb. As for Wallace, bes tbnilled about bis new son and canit say eaough about boanne and wbat shes done. -Its amazing bow someane couid do ibis for anoîber persan," he said, caliing ber their miracle. Aitbougb this past year has been a jaumey, its one Joanne said sbes giad she took. "1 juat tbink everyone deserves a baby if tbey wanî one," she said simpiy. Stephanie Hounsell can be reached at sthiessen@miltonciflc- dianchampion.coni. www.cogeco.ca W V~QGECO 4,;. NORTH HALTON STUDIO e co c £exLaurier Plaza Cogeco Cable 500 Laurier Avenue ,JVkQPtMilton, ON L9T 4R3 Channel 14 905-878-9306