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A16 - The Canadian Champion, Fnday, August 5, 2005 Hey Milton - let's go big with some newfesti vals 1 think I've attended just about every event Milton has had thia sommrrer At lcast evcry one 1 could walk lu sx'îîh rmx 'ýranddaoýh- Most ut the time it was tou hot lu stick around for long. Just long enough 10, make sure we got a balloon. My granddaughîer liked the îhing they had aI Victoria Square for kida. 1 forget the name, but they had Clifford the Big Red Dog there and we were both pretly excited about that. And we both got balloons. While Milton does an excellent job of putting on these shows and festivals, and while they're great for families. none of them are putting us on the world stage. Do we need bo be on a bigger stage? Certainly not, but il mighî be fun, s0 I've corne up with some suggestions. Dolly Parton Festival Collingwood has ils Elvis Festival, but 1 bel wed gel more peo- pIe 10 this. 1 know what you're thinking, but il doesn't have 10 be Dolly Parton, juat anybody recognizable. Um, say, Pamela Anderson would work, too. oi Fatso Festival Serioualy, what do they have for fat people? The sions alune would make a killing. And can you imaý petition at the pie-eating conteat? 1 think I'd have ac Balloon and Cartoon Festival My granddaughler likes balloons. T1hat's a goode for me. Plus, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Bob the Builder and Dora the Explurer, ad A! thuse type of rmascut thingies would be a big Renaissance Festival n the Oh yeah, we tried that. But seriously, Jennifer Smith, 1Iee went. id' know where it was, how much it cost, what was tose there, or whether 1 could gel my granddaughter a balloon. Is ta my fault or the fault of the promoters? A littIe of both, 1 gucas. William Hung Festival The most entertaining thing on those Idol competitions is the ter- rible singera that try to qualify at the auditions. People love that efood conces- stuif. A competition for Canada's worst singer would draw big gifle the com- crowds. chance 10 wifl. War Festival l've seen news coverage of this rock-paper-scissors competition. enough reason This would be better. You know how to play war - two carda, high card wins. You could easily gel 10,000 people 10 put up 10 bucks for achance 10 win $100000 on the turn of a card. Speaking of cards, my daughter was in Las Vegas playing poker at the Bellagio. and who walks by and gives her a nod and a smile? None other than Gus Hansen. Cool, eh? Disco Festival Whatever happened 10 disco musie anyway? People still love il, t'm sure. You could pack upward of 50,000 people mbt the fair- grounda for'Miltonstock. Headlinera, if they're still alive, could include Donna Summer, Gloria Gaynor, and Earth Wind and Pire. More at. Mohawk Country Music Star Aaron Pritchett in Concert! Lsten to Aarorfs latest single "Lucky for Me" that has cracked the top 10 yet again, this will be Aaron's 3rd top 10 single off of the "Something Goin on Here album. Hes heme LIVE in concert on Frday August l9th at 9pm, and its FREEI Yuk-Yuk's Comnedy Nights! See the funniest stand-up talent at Mohawks Yuk-Yuks Comedy Nights, FREE ever Thursday in August starting at 9:00 pm! Plus you have a chance to win $500 in cash!* AppeallngthLs summer. August il Pete Zediacher August 18 - David Hemstad August 25 - Fred Priia $50,000 Hole-in-One Challenge! Enter our $50000 Hole-in-One Challenge every Monday and Tuesday night ln August! Visit us online for details. $1995 Buffet Speciail Enjoy a deliclous buffet in the remodeled Terraoe Dining Room! Featuring three entrée items, including chicken, pasta& Chefs feature. Plus Caesar, chef, assorted salads, desserts and a racing program. Live Horse Racingl And dont forget about the live standardbred racing, each Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday until October 8th. New post time: 7:20 pm! MOHAWK RACETRiACK 9430 Guelph Uine, CampbelIle, Ontaro LOP 18BO l-888-675-RACE wwwWoodbineEntertainment.cosyi MOHAWK TRAa( HOuRS - Live Raclrlg Monday, Tuesday Thursday Fnday & Saturday ai 7 20pm RACEBOOK - Open 7 days aweek ftm l am-ilpm SLODT HOURS - Mon-Wed 9am-3am Thurs-Sun 24 Hiouri. Subject tsmhange, MIE PARM 0& ADMISSOt We believe... in helping. wedeîn.JsIdhtyo o e s An d eehe re 10u. w.jDesesign9058631 www.jadeesdesigd.sdm905.876311 associoMcs AIJGUST SUMMER SIIL Cour ct à ffl FO»--Jdup a ,ýc.tIm'O 16 f nS t..E., Nj em moI 10 ICI', .11,100 A