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8--The Canadian Champion, Tuesday December 17, 2002 * J/diday Jfooeers 48 L 8auruerAve. 878-2881 Coping without loved one at Christmas -holidays canstil e fllof joy, says local grief counsellor By FANNIE SUNSHINE The Champion iThe hoiday season is a time of giving, shar- mng socializing and surrounding yourself with fiends and loved ones. But to somneone who recently suffered the loas of a special per- son in their lfe, this timne of year can be quste emnotionally trou- blesone. Maggie Waligora, a grief counsellor with north Halton-based the Art of Healthy Living, said she sees an increase tRas terne of year of mndivduals seeking grief counselling. "If the person s grief is fairly new, tRacy tend to isolate themn- selves and think they shouldnt have any joy because they might be betraying a loved one," she said. "The important thing to rememnber is that youre flot betraying and must live in the present." Everyone grieves diffrently Ms Waligora, whos also the founder of Rose Cherrys Home, said those expenencmg grief must try to express their feelings to famnily and frienda. "We al grieve differently. There is no right way or wrong way to gteve. Shock, dishelief, denial, isolation, crying, numbness, al give us timne to face tRae tragedy," she said. "Durmng the holidays there is high expectations to feel joy. Because of those expectationsthUi grieving person might feel a demand is being placed on themn and might tumn to substances (alcohol or drugs). Its important to be aware of that and to deal with grief without the aid of substances." Friends and famnily should take on the supportive role in grief- stricken times but shouldn't force somneone to talk about Ueir pain. "Sonne people juat dont want to talk about it. You just have to accept the way the person grieves. Be preparerd to be the one mak- ting Uic calis and checking in. Listen, encourage, take the person out for dinner. Allow them to cry if they want to cry," she said. "The biggest disservice is flot allowing tRac grieving person to talk about it." Sometimes counselling needed Although denial is a normal part of tRae grieving process, there does corne a time when a peruon should seek professional treat- ment. "Denial is common during tRac early stages of grief. But if youre still in denial two years down the road theres a problem. If they cant go on or dont have anyone to talk to, then I would recom- mend counselling." Thec mout important thing to do around the Rolidays is to realize having fun doesnt mean a loved one is forgotten. "You need to give yourself permission to have joy,' Ms Waligora said. "Know you have pain and do someUing Imeaningful or symbol- ic to remember Uiat person." To contact Ms Waligora, cal (905) 702-7304. COGECO 14 Programming Schedule - Tuesday, December i 7th - Monday. December 23rd, 2002 sm Plugged rn! - s gm Plugged rn! - a Plugged In - Oa lugged rn - Oa, tIa, Pugged rn! - a Plugged rn! - amn Plugged In! - Laie Weelr tdiiiu Chistmars #1 Chrtmas #1 Chrtmass il îîsm Chrstmas #1 Chrstmas #1 Chrismas #2 Keqxuig 5pm, tpan 1l9e r!-Cntms1 lu0dn taO Om Murrtay Re#ay '10:0 m TueudRps o 1:mday Repay Re1yta lusyRpa 1:tpa Sanis & The Kids Nor A Smal Tuer 10:00am Sunday Replsy WWw~.cogeco.ca 51a Pli* ri - p lgdr pa, tpm Plsgged rn! - 5pm, tpm Plugged rn! - & 7:30pm Chrstma #1 Spa, tpm Plugged In! - &7:3pm Chstmass# &00 5.05sUi 730pm Chritast #1 & 7.30p ChistrSs #1 & 7 a0p Chrisms #1 & 730pm Chistmas #11 & 7:30pm Christmas #2 NRHHLOSTDO5:3Qpm Serinas Shuecase 5 30m Kid Cnrecior 5: ap Osier Hu t:00a Milton Sat 5:30pm Faces -Curtisi Laurier Plaza P,4 4 :0m Otms TV aig :0m Sa TaIk (L5te) Currectror ia Pr Sitdek 5 500 Laurier Aeueu (Live> 7:0> Sana & The Kidt Clau PaMradee 6:3Opm Senior Shuecase Mlon, ON L9T 4R3 M - 8-î r0t: H0s it esd Auto Experts (Lise) 7:00pm Oaler Healh 90587&1-530005 &ato Cuul Awec R 9 r0p Milor Saris t:Opa Rrciwotd Chrstmasa Currectilu 958890 oci e 9Caus Prade 1 Parade dLgh t: aP A SmaslTwn