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Ni*p holiday season, stress in the bud 110W To prevent blowing the budget, remember that relationships aren't made or broken on the strength of a gift-wrapped box. By IRENE GENTLE The Champion For a holiday that started with an emphasis on things Heavenly, FChristmas can sure feel like Hell. Big bills, blown budgets and ballooning expecta- tions cari lead to big-time stress during the Yuletide season. To take a breather from the hustle and bustle, regis- tered social worker and private counsellor in psy- chotherapy Elsyne Tanner recommends focusing on accepsance along with the traditional giving and receiving. "We have to accept ourselves Use way we are, and accept our family for who they are," said Ms Tanner. That means don't think your family will act like something out of a Hatlmark card if they more closety resemble those found on a daytime TV talk show. "If you've neyer gotten along with them before, don't expect this is the time you're ait going to get along perfectly," said Ms Tanner. "And decide how much time can you spend with these people and still stand them." Leave probtems behind T'len don't spend the day srying to air dirty taundry. 'This probably isn't the time to deal with 'ail the issues," advised Ma Tanner. To prevens blowing Use budget, remember that relt- tionships aren't made or broken on the strength of a gift-wrapped box. "Don't be competitive," said Ms Tanner. "If you're going to compete to be the beat sîster or daughser, you're going to be over budget." Also know that overloading offspring with gifts won's heal old wounds. "You're not going to make up for your whole life of borts by making your kida happy at Christmas," said Ms Tanner. "People can still be welt-adjusted and live well without every toy on the block." To keep things simple, keep Use holiday in perspec- tive. That means everything doesn't have to be per- fect. "Don't be competitive. If you're going to compete to be the best sister or daughter, you're going to be over budget." RAYE 1MM Buy dessert instead of making it. Delegate tasks N such aa vacuuming, cooking or gift-buying to some- one else. "Everyone wants to have the Martha Stewart Chriatmaa, but Martha Stewart spenda ber whole life doing just that," said Ma Tanner. 'Ihat's her job. It ian's what shte does afier ber job. Ansd ahe bas a ataff of hundreda." Since moat people don't, it's important to book snme alone lime to relax and rejuvenate. "We often forges to shlow time for ourselves along tse way," said Ms Tanner. "We don't watch our diet, we don't make sure we get enough sleep. We don't make sure we exercise." On the contrary, the holiday season can prompt anme to drink too much, take too many pi s or expend toQ much energy. "Then stress has an essier door to get throughV4 because you're mun down," said Ms Tanner. "You're betser off to take a bubble bath or go for a watk." Keep open-mtnded A fact sheet from the Halton Regional Heatth Department entitted Thinking of the Holidays? Stress!!! offered similar advice. It suggested prioritizing what's vital to make this Christmas a succeas. That means letsing go of old expectations and even old traditions in favour of new choices. Another way to de-stress is to give either time, money or food to someone who really needa it. Ms Tanner suggeats donating to a favounte charity in lieu of a gift to keep the tmue meaning of Christmas alive. "You mighs wans to remember the purpose," she said. .'1f you're going to do this, you mighs want to remember Use charitable part" And reconnecting with a friend or fasnity member who has been out of touch cari also keep spirits soar- Photo by GRAHAM PAINE ing throughout the season. Blowlng th. budget can lead to blg-tlm. stress durlng th. holiday season.