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www.insideHALTON.com | OAKVILLE BEAVER | Thursday, May 2, 2013 | 10 I It beats having the theme to Barney burrowing in your brain ing the Iraq war. Critics said the practice bordered on torture and was ineffectual in that anyone forced to listen to that odious ditty would eventually confess to anything -- short of loving the song -- just to make it stop. Speaking of making things stop. According to The Los Angeles Times: "With all sorts of funding cuts hitting orchestras, there is still one area of classical music that local govern- t recently came to light that music -- speci cally the heavy-metal maelstrom that is Metallica -- has been used by the U.S. military to "soften up" prisoners. It's not the rst time music has been used, misused and abused. Heck, there were reports the same military force employed the theme song from Barney, played loudly and incessantly, to abuse the eardrums of prisoners dur- That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor Fresher come see for yourself ments nd valuable -- the music's unfailing ability to disperse teenagers from public areas. Whether it's Handel piped into New York's Port Authority or Tchaikovsky at a public library in London, the sound of classical music is apparently so repellent to teenagers it sends them scurrying away like frightened mice." Well, that's both enlightening and depressing. While it's good to know how to get the kids out of the basement, it's sad to hear that they have such a reaction to what many music lovers believe to be the universe's most beautiful, emotional and at times soothing sounds. That said, if you reverse this and take the music of youths and crank your speakers up to 11, I'm sure you could clear out an entire retirement home in mere minutes. Speaking of clearing out, I need to clear out my head. In the wake of the Boston Marathon bombings, the Neil Diamond classic Sweet Caroline has made a comeback in my consciousness. OK, the song never really went away. Written in reference to Caroline Kennedy, released in 1969, and later re-released in different mixes in 1972 and 1974, the song has climbed the charts on assorted occasions and has lived more lives than a dozen cats. Since 2002, the song has been a xture at Fenway Park in Boston, played as a sing-along in the middle of the eighth inning of Red Sox games. And there was Neil, in the esh, leading the sing-a-long at Boston's rst home game after the attack on the city. Talk about emotion. Talk about chills up the spine. Talk about tears. Talk about, everybody, sing along: "SWEET CAROLINE, BA, BA, BA!" Sales last week for Sweet Caroline were up by 597 per cent, selling 19,000 copies in seven days. Diamond's donating all royalties to Boston charities. And I'm stuck with this song. In my skull. On repeat. Scientists call this an `earworm', the informal name for a phenomena wherein a song burrows deep into your brain. And then pops to the surface, seemingly at will. At odd times, at inappropriate and embarrassing times (for my kids, that is). "Hey kids, glad you could come over to our house for some pizza. Now, how about a little sing-song? Everybody: SWEET CAROLINE, BA, BA, BA!" Could be worse. I could have a Metallica earworm. Or, heaven help me, the theme from Barney burrowing in my brain. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com, found on Facebook www. facebook.com, or followed on Twitter at www.twitter.com/thesportjesters. Don't HATE your kitchen! DON'T MISS OU HEAVY BERBER CARPET T! $ We have a remodeling option for every budget: 0 .99 $ sq ft & up BRING IN THIS AD AND... 45oz 100% NYLON CARPET ReDoor A unique Do-it-Yourself solution from $ from $ 1500** 4900** Free PLUS ReStyle Update your existing cabinets Start Fresh with new custom cabinets CALL TODAY VISIT US AT ONLINE We will pay the equivalent of the HST for you when you purchase our regular priced, in-stock Flooring only. Valid at the Mississauga West (3050 Vega Blvd) End Of The Roll location only. PAY NO TAX! 0 .99 sq ft & up up to 50 IN-STOCK AREA RUGS % OFF * 905 . 637. 3331 KitchenTuneUp.com Try our Free Design Tool ** from $7900 Hurry in! Offers valid May 2nd ­ 5th LO TH C IS ON ATI LY ON ! 3480 Fairview St., Burlington ON Design Consultation & Estimate Mississauga West | 3050 Vega Blvd (Dundas & Hwy 403) Now offering FREE Shop @ Home call 905.820.7655 *See store for details. In order to receive these offers, you must present this ad at the time of purchase. Cannot be combined with any other offer; expires May 5th, 2013. Valid at the Mississauga West (3050 Vega Blvd) End Of The Roll location only. Every Kitchen Tune-Up franchise is locally owned and operated. **Starting price examples are based on a common 10' x 10', L-shaped kitchen cabinet layout. HARDWOOD LAMINATE CORK VINYL AREA RUGS CARPET