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6-The Canadian Champion, Friday, July 24, 1998 +---OPINION Bo\ 11) 1 Ma'il in iSIilIrle Crurai(lian CilalIý,haupan tiS iii"V 49 i Md S94f .149 941 1 91 S Milton, Ont. L9T -4N9 Main St E , Miton, Ont., L91 4N9 (Bon 248>, is one oi The Metroiand Printing, Pnbishing & Dtrbtiîng Ltd. group ni suburban companies hincir inctudes: 905)8 8-2341 Aax / Pckering News Adveriser, Allsion HeraidCourier, Barrie Adance, Brampton Guardian, BrlingionaPnt City Parent, Cniingwnnd / Wanaga Fax: 878-4943 Cannectian, tant Yrk Mirrar; Einbicnke Gnardian, Gergetawn Independent/ Actan Free Prens; Kingntan Thin Week; Lindnay Tis Week, Markham Ecnnnmini Classified: 875-3300 & Sun. Midiand / Penetanguishene Mrror; Mininanga News; Newmarket / Ian Oliver Publisher Anînra Era Banner; Nrthamberland Newn, North Yarkr Mirrnr; Oakniiie Beaner; Orliia Tnday: Onhawa I Whitby / Caringian IPart Perry Thin Week; Peterbor- Neil Oliver Assocuiale Pahiinluer nughr Thin Week, Rchmnnd Hill I Tharnirili Vaugiran Liberai; Scarbnrnagh David Bosa Genierai Manager Mrrar; Unbridge I Stesiiniiie Tribune; Tnday'n Seniors. Rob Kelly Eduar Adertiing ns accepied nn the candition tiratin the event f a iypagraphicat Karen Cross Cjrcu1airn Manager- errar, tirai partion f the adneriining apace nccupied by the erraneeus item, Teri Casas OIffice Manager ingether wiii a reananable atiamance fat ignature, iii nat ire ciarged for, but Tim ole PrducionManger the balance aiflire adnertinemeni miii be paid forataitire applicable raie.Tire pub- Tim oles P dar ~ ~cr isaier renernen ire rigiri ta categaruze adnertiements ar decline. Keepn your nose out of it Looking Back . 1 was driving my kids and their friends ta vari- aus activities when a Beatles sang came on the radio. Instantly, rny kids startcd ta moan -- afraid that 1 wauld sing along and cmbarrass tlier in frant ai their friends. Sa, I juet hummcd quietly ta myseli and did my hcad and shoulder dance when no anc was watching. 1 arn amazed at the thinga that may embarrasa a teen. Anything a parent doca can embarrasa a teenager. Don't even try ta gucss why they are embar- Frassed. Dan't try *Za argue that thcy shauldn't be embarrassed. They'rc cntitlcd ta their feelings (and it's hopeless anyway). I arn alsa, surprised, however, at liow many kids have legitimate complaints, camplaints that cannat be attributcd ta adolescent hormonal overload. Many parents rcally arc nosy, pushy and embarrassing. Kenny rcally wanted his mam ta stap bugging him about girls. Her push ta know it ail was becamiùng a prablcm in their rlatianship. He knew lis mam cared a lot about him and that she wanted desperately ta hlp hirn. But she drave hirn crazy witli lier questions, trying ta ind out wliat lie was thinking, wla lie was eye-balling, whetlier lie was interested in sex. Sliejust couldn't wait be lie lis confidante. Instead, she was alienating him. Kenny wouldn't telilier anything about girls no matter what, liecause she was an nosy. She would often ask him, "Do you talk wiUi any girls in your clas? Will Uiere lie any girls et Uic perty? Dues Michael have a girlfriend?" Kenny resented the questions, as if Uere was someUing wrong wiUi him if lie didn't have a girlfriend. He felt this was privete, that she couldn't understand. Morn does need ta back off. Kenny's moment in Uic sun will corne and when it doca, she will know. Psychology in the -90s When a teenager falîs in love for the first time, the whole warld knaws. Kenny will be con- sumed by his new lave every waking moment. He will think that no cisc in Uic world lias ever felt like this. He will think this is the real thing, the anly girl for him, lis truc lave. He will think about nothing else. Tbis is cape- cially true for Kenny, who makes friends very slawly, but is extremely devoted ta the few friends lie does have. He will not have tirne for lis hornework, he'Il start studying for lis dri- ver's licence, and he'll be asking for money or look- ing for a job. He will need lis parents, nat only ta negatiate rides, curfews, and maney, but lie will want ta talk about lier. He won't be able ta keep it inside. Wlien tliey break up, lie will again need someoe ta talk ta. Sa, mom will gel lier opportunities, if she doesn't spoil it now liy leing t00 nosy and mak- ing it an issue Uiat is off limrita in lis mind. When a teenager gives you a signal Uiat Uiey don't want ta say or do something, it's important ta stop and put yourself in ieir position. Ask yourself tie following questions: Could il be humiliating? Are you nagging Uiemn or invading their privacy? Are you giving thern a chance ta prove you wrong? Are you saying anything new? Are you treating them wiUi dignity and listening ta what they have ta say? If your answer ta any of these questions is negative, Uien don't say it. As one swimmer dove into the pool, two others kept track of the number of laps dur- ing a swim-a-thon at the Rotary Park pool in August, 1976. The swimmers expected to eamn more than $800 for their efforts. Have a nice day too, lady "Have a nice day," said the girl after giving me my order. I didn't rcply, which junt campletcly horrilicd one of my daughters. "Da yau knaw how rude that is?" she scoldcd me. I didn't rcply ta her, cither. Later I made rny case that Uic girl didn't mean it whcn she told me ta have a nice day, so why shauld I alsa say samething back that 1 didn't mean? Na checkout persan at any store in Milton, ar anywhere in Narth America, really cares whether yau or I have a nice day. What arn 1 supposcd ta say back ta thcm, any- way? "Thank you, and you have a nice day, tao." Well, they're stuck in that stare working, and 1 dan't know their hours. Obviausly, they're not gaing ta have a nice day white warking and 1 don't knaw what tirne they get off. Maybc there wan't be enaugh time let ta have a nice day. What is a nice day, anyway? Pretty much every day is "nice" as far as 'mr concemned. That means they're just saying 1 shauld have a normal day. I'd like sornething better, say, a fantastic day, or a super-duper day. What I'm really womred about, hawcver, is a terrible day. Maybe they should say, "Here's your order, and please don't have a lied day." I'd appreciate that mare and maybe I could sec tliern even meaning il liecause as little as we care whether anyone has a "nicc day" we surely don't want anyone ta have a "bad day." Maybe after they say, "Have a nice day," I should ask Uiemn if Uey'd like me ta check back with themn at Uic end of it to Ic lietrn know how it went. That would throw thern for a loop, wouldn't it? Not once hes anyliody ever esked me if 1 actually lied Uic nice day Uiey had wislied upon me the day liefore. No, noliody is ever wondering, hoping or caring whetlier 1 have a micc day or not. Loose Store people munt get tired af repeating the same thing over and over again. I even get sick of saying the same thing wlien I go through the dnivc-tliru. The ather day I ordered what 1 want- cd while sitting in my car at the window and then added, "And I'd like that ta go, please." "Have a nice day," she said, without cracking a erile. Always at restaurants and sometimes at faut- food places, the waiter or server will advise this: "Enjoy your dinner." TMis is a good thing ta say because we right forget ta do that otherwisc. I'rn temptcd to say ta thern, "I'd enjay it more if yau didn't say dumb thinga ta me." But, as we should know, anc of life's golden miles is that yau neyer ever give any reason far a person serving you food ta be rnad at you. Personally. those people are my very favourite people in the whole wide world. Okay, Iet's assume they have ta say samething when they hand you whatever it is yau just bought. Why cen't it lie something useful and helpful? For exemple, if 1 ordered a lot of stuf at a fast food place, then the person could say, "Have a nice day, sir, and enjoy the tons of empty calo- ries you'ilI le eating. At your weight, though, may I suggest a salad next trne." Or somethingiven more useful. Thank you for shopping at Bla-BIa's. The forecast for today is 25 degrees this aftemoon, going dawn ta 14 averniglit. There is a 20 per cent chance of rain." Or, "Thank you for shopping at Bla-Bla's. And remember ta have your pets spayed or neutered." My daughtcr works at a grocery store in town. I asked her what she said ta custamers when she was frnishcd checking aut their orders. "Have a nice day,' she said. 0f caursc. Weil, then what do thc custamers say? She actually had an answcr for that. Farty-tive per cent say have a nice day back, 40 percent say thank yau, and 15 percent say nothing. That means anly 15 percent ai us have rcally thauglit this througli. Anyway, enjay the rest ai the newspaper. And have a nice day. "MIany parents really are nosy, pushy and embarrassing." M. AOLDnMOVE