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6-he Canadian Champion, Fniday, January 30,1998, OPINION Looking Back 91 Main St. E.. The Canadien Champion, psbished every Tuesday and Saturday at 191 Main St F Mitron Ont ;9T 41N99 Box 248; is one of The Metrotand Printinq 8- 3 1 AjaxI Pickering News Adverliser. Allston Herald/Courier Barrie dac r8 -2341 Brampton Gaardian, Buringtori Poot: City Parent. Colingwaod / Wasaga ax878-2364 Cannection, East Yorkt Mirror Etebîcoke Guardian. Georgetown lnidependenti ax. Actan Free Press, Kngston Tiis Week: Lindsay Tiis Week, Markham Ecoriomist ied: 875-3300 & Ssn, Mdland / Penetangsisitene Mirror, Mssssauga News, Newmaritet / Publisher Aurora Era Banner, Northumrberland News: North Yonk Mrror. Oakville Beaverý Orilia TOday, Ohtawa / Whity / ClaringtonI Port Perry This Week. Peterbor- Associ ate Publisher ough TBis Week, Rchmond Hill / Thornihit I Vaughtan Liberal. Scaritoroagit Ge,îeral Manager Mirror: UxbridgeI Stouitoîtle Tribune, Todays Seniors. E'ditor Advertising is accepted on tite condition tirat, ontihe enent ai a typographicat Circuation» Manager errar, titat porton ai thre adveriising space occupied iyt he erroneous item. Off-ice Manager logether wth a reasonabte altowance far sgnature, wilt not be charged lot, bt Proucton anaer tite balance nifte advertisement wîtl be paid tor aitte applicable rate Tite pair- Pr<dcru, Manger lsiter reterves thee ngitt te categorize adverisements or declîne. Self employment may fot be the dream many believe it is Many of you dream of self-employment. It would give you freedom 10o pick and choose what you want to do when you want to do it. You wouldn't have îo answer 10 anyone and there's no one you have 1 fliatter. You don't have 10 worry whether someone likes you or thinka you're doing a good job. If you do well, you get ail the glory and ail the profits. Sound good? Well, there ix a down side. People who are self-employed do enjoy their work more, but they are much less satisfied with their family life than people who work in other settingit. U.S. psychologists Saroj Parasuraman and Claire Simmers studied how work and family pressures affect a person's satisfaction with their job and famiùly life. The results were presented at a conference on "Work, stress and health" in Washington, D.C. last faîl. "hi i They evaluated a large " erfe number of self-employed iiiined to dui men and women as well as refledon, us people who worlced for out- side organizations, such as -utdit government agencies, profit- leemes and non-profit groups. The self-employed loved Ifl4or c tlieir independence and their .......... flexibility. Tbey could L rearrange their schedule to deal with any personal or famnily matters that came up. They were in fact much more satisfied with their jobs titan even professionals and managers who worked for outside agencies. interestingly, bowever, they experienced many more démands from their spouses-and children. Their flexibility was mined to the hilt - it was relied on, used frequently - until it eventually became a major source of conflict. They had a very difficult time trying to bal- ance their work and family responsibilities. As a result, the self-employed people had mucb lower satisfaction ratingit when it came to their family lives. The ratings weren't just lower, many were quite unbappy. ~i. Pscology in the '90s - itD. ANOD INCOVE It was a difl'erent picture with people who worked for outside agencies. The work was clear and highly structured. They worked shorter hours than seIf-employed people. They could usually leave their work at the office, rather than taking it home. They didn't carry ail the weight or responsibility for a work exibility was kehult -- itwas sed frequently Leventuafly a source of oolCMM ." .............. project by îbemselves because many people were involved. Due te, the reduced hours, pressures, and flexibility, the person who worked for an outside agency was bet- ter able 10 strike a balance between work and faniily. There were also some rather predictable differ- ences between self- employed men and women. Women felit more commit- ment 10 the home and they were more invoived with their cbildren. Tbey felt ultimately responsible for the home, even if the busband helped out a lot. As a resuit, tbey experienced more stress than the men. I've always tbought that working for yourself ix the ideal way to combine a strong work ethie and a desire to be heavily involved in parenting. Yet, a lot of good, caring people bave tried and found il sadly lacking. The flexibility and autonomy so basic (o self- employment tends to be consumed by either work or family - one at the expense of the other. That doesn't mean it cant be done, but it's clearly flot the idyllic choice that many peo- ple think it ix. Qusen and king of Miltons Winterfest in 1976 were Nancy McKinnon and1 Corradetti, both 17. -That was thenthis is now Compared to dealing with quickly growing-up children. babies and toddlers were a piece of cake. Sure, they were physically demanding. They needed feeding, batbing, diapering, pick- ing up. putting down. But they were predictable. 1 could count on the babies staying where I had lefî them. As for toddlers, well, 1 had 10 watch (hem carefully, but tbey were mostly happy 10 stay close 10 mom, exploring their small world. As these little guys got older, however, they strayed further and further from home until one day we found ourselves with a child/adult study- ing in a city many miles from the nest. Now, here's the dilemma. How much influ- ence, as parents, do we or sbould we have on that offspring? He no longer bas to be told to stay in the yard or wasb the dishes. He bas bis own life to live, but wben, if ever, will he be totally independent from bis mother and father? Especially since he continues to require some financial assistance, does that mean we bave a right 10 set common sense directions for him? And even if we did bave sucb a right, iCs quite possible that he'd neyer give us the opportunity 10, offer our advice. Wbich is exactly what hap- pened recently. Our son, the engineering student, or should 1 say former engineering student, without any warning - goodbye to the predicîability of childhood - announced that, one week mb b is second term of the engineering course, he had quit it and had moved mbt an arts program. And if that wasn't enough of a shocker, he informed us that he hated maths and sciences - LAE N OT fGuFNEs OW - OPEN CUPBc«RPS .I1OAY? On the Homefront the two subjectit he had specialized and excelled in during high school - and that he was now studying languages. With his only foreign language contact heing a smattering of Italian for bis exchange trip to Milan two years ago, he was now undertaking to study the language along with introductory French, Gennan and Spanish. Ironically, 1 studied French, Spanish and Italian at university, but 1 know for a certainty that he is flot trying to follow in bis mother's footsteps. For how long had he been mulling over this drastic change? He presented it to us as fait accompli. Hes a big boy now, but does he know what he is doing? Not one week later, we got a second disturbing phone cal from him. His world, he said, was coming undone. He and his girlfriend had hit an impasse, they were history, and how could he go on' He was distraught. For the second time in a matter of days, that kid caused the blood to drain out of my head as 1 paled at his latest news. Hubhy hopped into his car and went to the res- cue. Three hours later at the doorstep to the resi- dence, our son greeted him, somewhat apologet- ically, and said that he and bis girlfriend were mending fences and they were working on resolving their différences. They were not, how- ever, willing to divulge what cataclysmic event had turned our weekend, and theirs, topsy-turvy. And why, he asked, had we flot taught him about the hazards of relationships? FaiIed again as parents. It was 50 much simpler and more straightfor- ward with babies and toddlers. Then it was pbysically exhausting; now it is emotionally draining. How are we ever going to get through our kidit' adulthoods? I mua Box 248, I millttn ' (905) 8' F Classifv Ian Oliver Neil Oliver David Boas Rob Kelly Karen Iluisman Teri Casaa Tina Coles 0e0.