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6-The Canadian Champion, Frtday, November 7, 1997 SOPINION Box 248,IA tHMPO Milton, C (905)8 F Classifi Ian Oliver Neil Oliver David Bos Rob Kelly Karen Huisman Teri Casas Tim Coles 91 Main St. E., The Canadien Champion, published every Taesstay and Saturday st 191 )nt. L9T 4N9 Main St. t., Milton, Ont., L9T 4N9 (Bon 248), as sne of The Metroand Printing, Ptbishing & Distributing Ltd. grsap af oubarban companies which includes: !82341 Ajax / Pickering News Adnertiser; Alliston Herald/Cnarier; Barrie Adnance; 8 -2341 Brampton Guardian; Banlingtan Pane; City Parent; Collingwood / Waaaga ax: 78-364 Cannectian; tant York Mirrar; Etabicake Gaardian; Georgetown lnidependtntj ax:87 -2364 Acton Free Press; Kingston This Week; Lindsay Tthis Week; Markham tcanamiat ed: 875-3300 & Stn; Midland / Penetanguishene Mmiro; Mississauga News; Newmarket / Publisher Aumora Era Banner; Northamberland News; Norths York Mirrar; Gakville Beaver; Onillia Today, Oshawa / Whitby I Clarington IPart Perry This Week, Peterbor- As.aociaie Publsher augh This Week; Richmand Hilt I Thamntrill IVaaghan Liberal; Scarborough General Manager Mirror; Uobridge I Stoottviite Tribune; Todty's Seniors. Editor Advertioing os accepttd on the condition that, in tht event ot a typagraphical Circulauio,î Manager errai, that portion of thre advertising space occupied by thre erroneaus item, Qifiice Manager together with a reasonable allowance for signature, wiii not be charged for, bot Prodc .lionManger the balance afthe advertisement mili be paid for at the applicable rate. Tire pub- Prodctio Manger lisher reserves tht right ta categorize adnertisemento or decline. fI's okay if you're a littie shy Your child doesn't cozy up to visitors. In fact, he avoids them. He doesn't like large groups and doesn't join in activities with other children. As parents, we worry about shyneos, and won- der why our child is so afraid or inhibited. We worry that he or she may be missing out on a lot of friendohipo and experiences. Shyness begins as discomfort in social situa- tions but it can tum into, something more. It can become obsessive behaviour, if children are so afraid of interactîng that they miss out on things. others routinely enjoy. Consequently, it is important to know the dif- ference between shyness that is normal and that which causes unhappiness and could destroy self-esteem. The major component of shyness is self-con- sciousness. Most shy people feel that others are evaluating them. Moreover, they feel that they don't measure up, that they say the wrong things or are unat- tractive. Shy people experience a variety of symptoms. Physical ones include lti blushing, a pounding heart, I Sli shaking hands, nweating. m.eogPize Behavioural symptoms that may be exhibited are flot adisabi avoiding eye contact, reluc- it dme noi tance to interact, inaccurate os and negative perceptions. o Perhaps the lirst sign that shyness is becoming a prob- OR.~ AmIO lem is if a child becomes self-conscious about it. The child may begin to ask things like, "Why can't I think of anything to say?" The child will likely blame himself for the shortcoming. Shy people, as their own worst critico, rate themuelves lower in every sector, from intelligence to, attractiveness. Unfortunately, the shyness makes their symp- toms worse and they often become more socially awkwaad. So, they try and fade into the woodwork, and are then perceived as leso interesting and intelli- gent than they really are. It tumrs others off. It's no surprise that studies have found shy people to be more lonely than their more assertive counterparts. That doesn't mean they Psycho logy don't make fniends, however. They tend to make friends more slowly and lean more on one friend. As a resuit, their expectations can become unrealistic. They put too much weight on a rela- tionship, and are devastated whenever that friend disappoints. It's flot that shy people don't want to interact with others, they just think they can't do it welI. This can be a problem throughout life unless it is deait with early. Shy people tend to _________ restrict their career choices to those requiring few poilanlt to inter-personal skills. uat shiyness is They don't even consid- er areas where they show IIty as long as academic strength if such beome an -careers would require a good deal of social interac- tion. They're also more likely Il COV ~ to refuse promotions, because upward moves tend to increase their responsibilities in terms of dealing with other people. Since shy people are very won-ied about the judgments of others, they wifl avoid putting themselves at risk of criticism. An important series of studies at the University of British Columbia found that while strangers initially found shy people lesa intelli- gent, more timid, anxious and withdrawn, that view was erased once people became better acquainted. It is important to, recognize that shy- ness is flot a disability as long as it does flot become an obsession. Research on spouses of shy people lind that the spouse is attracted to the shy person's positive aspects, including mod- esty, sensitivity, discretion and even temper. Campbeilviiie'a five Scout-Guide groupa converged ln February, 1972 ta participate ln the Thmnking Day parade which wound up Scout-Guide Week acroaa Canada. Repreaenting their groupa were Cub Ailan Marryatt, Brookviiie Brownie Debra Day, Guide Phyllia Freeman, Campbeliviile Brownie Kathy Dennia and Scout Randy Bell. I haven 't got time for e-mail Have you gotten any e-mail lately? I get it but I don't send il. At least, I don't per- sonally send it, but hubby sito me down at the computer and sys 'write.' I ramble away, wrap il up and say, "I'm done, you can send il now." 1 am really digging in my heels where e-mail in concemed - and the internet for that matter, too. I don't even know whether e-mail and the intemnet are separate entities, or whether you need the intemnet to get e-mail. The truthi in I'm afraid. I don't want 10 gel so engrossed in screen watching that 1 lose touch with reality. Am I being over-anxiouo? Is it pos- sible that actually leaming this new technology won't enslave me?ý 1 don't want to spend hours surfing the net and communication by e-mail. I barely have enough time in the day 10 read, est, sleep shop and talk to friendo. Hubby got on board the e-mail express last spring and since our eldeot son han started at uni- versity, the two of them have been e-mai ling one another on a regular basis. The last time 1 recaîl hubby ever writing any- thing of a social nature was in 1 970, when he scripted romantic letters to me and penned a few poems. And here he is today, whipping off e- mail to our son, his aunt in westemn Ontario, my aunt in British Columbia and my cousin in Califomia. Where did ail this verbosity come from? I have always been the one to write letters to everyone, including his mother. AIl he has added are hasty one-liners scribbled at the end. On the Homefront Last weekend he shamed me into e-mailing Our son, whom hubby reckoned would like to hear fromn his mom. Weil, once I got rolling, my missive ended tep being three pages long. la that an acceptable length for e-mail? Or in it too long? I don't know e-mail etiquette, although 1 have heard that there are a few neles. Our son, for instance, chastised hubby once. "Wbat'o been taking you so long to answer your e-mail? Good mail practices include checking e- mail at a bare minimum once per day and answering the mail within a day or two.' So there. It is amazing to receive an e-mail from our son, When he spent lime in Fredericton and Milan, he neyer wmote us. Instead he phoned, an expensive alternative. Since he has embraced e-mail he hasn fot only saved us money -~ we are seeing anew nide of him. The kid in witty and bis teenage surliness, which we suffered through at home on a daily basis, does flot reveal itself. Oh sure, he can be demanding, telling us to send him this and that. On the other hand, hand can also be amusing and revealing. Here's one on food at his university renidence "I have to say the food today (Thursday) mas much better than on Monday. Mood docs influ- ence food somewhat, but the food on Monday was crappy. 1 personally believe that Monday and Friday are the mont important dayn of the week to have good food since no one really remembers the middle of the week, or, especial- ly the weekends." And on life beyond his studies; "I have becs neglecting for the past few weeks to, tell you that I have a girifriend." Looking Back . 0 0