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I One week full of emotional distress, pain and of course Beans to use my elbows, shoulders, neck, or any of the tiny muscles in the chest wall. Why? Well, when our second son sped out of the garage at 5:30 a.m. to get to an exam in Toronto on Storm Day, his otherwise infallible Toyota Yaris sank in the laneway in a foot of wet snow. So I pushed him out. Then he sank again. old daughter. The full-court press to put another hound in our home was officially on. It was a relentless assault. Our daughter is one determined girl. And she wanted Beans. My wife and I certainly didn't want to see Beans end up in the pound. We were also certain we didn't need another dog. Further, we didn't know how long we could stand up to the pressure being exerted upon us by Little Ms. Relentless. And then, we heard from our eldest: a home had unexpectedly been found for Beans. Honestly, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Instead, I decided to "sue." Because that's what Grumpy Old Men do. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@ gmail.com, found on Facebook www.facebook.com, or followed at www.twitter.com/thesportjesters. 7 | Thursday, March 7, 2013 | OAKVILLE BEAVER | www.insideHALTON.com am not saying that it's been a particularly bad week, or that I fear I'm fast becoming what all guys fear they'll inevitably become -- a Grumpy Old Man -- I'm just saying that I'm "suing," in no particular order: our kids, our accountant, Revenue Canada, Toyota, Wiarton Willie, and anyone in anyway associated with a dog called Beans. All apologies to any deserving soul left off the list. As for the lawsuits, they are merely meant to compensate for my abundant and persistent pain and suffering -- not to mention emotional distress. Without further adieu, I offer-up my life as of late. For starters, I find myself under a constant bombardment from our accountant, who has teamed with Revenue Canada on something called "tax time" -- created to line our nation's coffers, and make me miserable. Suffice to say, at the urging of our accountant, I spend most of my time looking for the receipt for the gum I purchased (for work purposes) back in June. Yeah, I'm slightly stressed. But I know what you're thinking: at least spring is coming. Because y'all know how I hate winters that overstay their welcome. Last winter was wonderful, and left in time for me to golf in March. This year, according to the snowdrifts outside my windows, and the long-term forecast, my clubs could collect dust until June. As for Wiarton Willie: I will contend in court that you are a sham. And your prediction for an early spring did nothing but give false hope to the hopeless. Indeed, last week's winter storm left me unable Andy Juniper So I pushed him out. Sensing a pattern? This naturally made me consider that either body parts as old as mine are not designed for single-handedly pushing cars out of snowdrifts, or Toyota owes me big time for pain and suffering. Alas, none of this pain and suffering held a candle to the emotional distress inflicted upon my already fragile psyche. Yes, I'm talking about Beans. It started with a text from our eldest: someone he knew had a Boxer pup that he was unable to keep. And if he didn't soon find a home, the poor pup would find itself in the pound. Well, that got me all emotional. A pup. In the pound. And then our eldest, a master manipulator, pulled some serious heartstrings. He forwarded a picture of a bitty, bodacious Boxer, who would have to be called Beans, because one look told me that this little mischief-maker was full of beans. Did I mention our eldest is a master manipulator? He also sent the photo to his sister, our 17-year- Gliding Shelf Solutions Inc. What's in your cabinets? Convert your existing cabinets with custom pull-out shelves 905-815-9795 1-877-895-9766 www.glidingshelf.ca Call the experts exper ts today for a FREE consultation FREE INSTALLATION POOL SALE ABOVE GROUND POOLS 12' X 24' INGROUND KIDNEY SHAPED POOL INSTALLATION* OR NO PAYMENTS FOR 12 MONTHS (OAC) FREE $ VINYL & FIBERGLASS AVAILABLE 24,995 INSTALLED* 15' ROUND $2299 18' ROUND $2499 12' X 20' OVAL $2299 15' X 25' OVAL $3999 INSTALLED* HOT TUB BLOW-OUT SALE! ALL 2012 MODEL HOT TUBS ON CLEARANCE NO REASONABLE OFFER REFUSED! FACTORY DIRECT VINYL LINER SALE Replace your Old Liner SAVE BIG! 12' x 24' $999 16' x 32' $1299 20' x 40' $1799 14' x 28' $1099 18' x 36' $1499 Visit Our Showroom! 504 IROQUOIS SHORE RD UNIT #1, OAKVILLE, ONTARIO L6H 3K4 905.815.5252 *Restrictions apply chek in-store for details.