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PAGE -12, WEDNESI>AY, -S EPTEMBER 3 1980-YWH]ITBY FREE PRESS Between You and Me çi4p ~J. By RUTH CHAMBERS "Love does flot consist ln gazlng at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. " Antoine de Saint Exupery. Several people, in fact quite a few people, have asked me to write about love. Not an easy task at this point ln lime. Such a personal thing to share with frlends and strangers. "Tell us how it feels to be married agamn after 35 years of being alone!1" Well, first of ail, IPm proud and happy to be Mrs. R.S. Coles for the past month, in fact it's a rnonth ago to-day that we were rnarried. This time a civic marriage which we ail thought was beautiful and very special. Both of us are Anglicans but for some unknown reason we both feit Ibis was what we wanted rather than a religious ceremony. The newMrs. Coles dis cuss es ber mardria ge My35 years alone were happy and productive. 1 felt a great need b brlng my children up alono and realized as I was told at the Umne that thin would be bout for ail concerned. Many of us were caught up ln the turmoils of war and the aftermath. It was ail too much for nmre mon; they just fell apart. now many of them are tired, slck old ment who loat their souls and familles, but enough of that. Much to everyone's amazement 1 stayed single and 1 might add to my own surprise, 1 like men and I loved being married. 1 cannot ever remember being bored or tired of any part of il. From a beautiful home and loving, kind parents to my own husband, our own dear littie home and then a .family kt was a fairy tale corne true. Then the war, shattered drearns and grim realities. However,' one had to face up to being alone and facing fear for the first limne. - Never-the-less, il was a happy lime and a very busy lime, ail those years. Two beautiful bright daughters and then qiany years later two verv fine sone-in-law. The sons I neyer had and the joy of knowing rny daughters were settled and happy. In time six grandchlldren, ail beautiful, brigbt and to my mmnd absolutely perfect. Marriage again for me, yes, almost but not quite. Something always held me back. Why? There was no answer and 1 neyer really looked for one. That in itseif was odd now when I look back. But now I know the answer. Fate, maybe. Are our lives more or less mapped out for us? My parents always brought me Up to feel if one did one's best, and was always true to one's self that In time ail would be weil. A fairy tale? No, flot go. So suddenly an old frlend whose famlly had been my friends for over thirty years asked me to marry him. Ten minutes it took for the question to be asked and ten minutes for the an- swer to be given. Fate? Yes, somehow it.was meant to be. Marry'a frienda husband, neyer. This was how I always feit. A friend I had known for so many years, and then her death. So now I arn married to her husband, my friends husband. It al seems so right and we both feel tbis would please her too, her friend and her husband who nursed her s0 faithfully for well over five years. The family are pleased, both our familles. My eldest daughter is a godmother to rny husband's grandaughter and his eldest daughter is a godmother to one 0f my grandsons, a family affair. Newlyweds, not really. We feel we have been together for ever. I can't remember being atone those few short months ago. Our goals in life are the same, our principles, our outlook on life; we just carry on. No adjustments to make, no getting to know each other; we are old friends, a beautiful love story, but much too personal to write about. Two people who have lived a long lime and finally at the sunset of thier lives have found each other. Who could ask for anything more? A friend in Whitby with a very special sense of hurnor asked me the other day, "'How do Mrs. Chambers and Mrs. Coles get along in the kitchen? Sometirnes two wornen have a bad time under those circumstances. " I assured ber that these two were in total agreement and that ail was well. When a husband looks at you and says, "You look sixteen to me today even though you may be over 60 and a very young grandaughter says, «"Grammy, you may be getting old, but you look awfuliy young 10 me, arnybe about 30", you stop and think. Empty words, no loving, caring words. This is what makes the world go round. Attitudes are changed by love, lives are changed by love. Maybe caring and compassion are the key words to love. Love is blind. Yes, sometirnes. It's hard to hurt sorneone you CONT'D ON PC. 16 *EVENING REG.ISTRATIONE *FOR EXTENSION COURSES DURH1 0,A m m COLLEGE IN OSHAWA O TUESDAY SEPT. 9 0 THURSDAY SEPT. 11 TUESDAY SEPT. 16 * 6:30-9:00 P.M. REMINDE I I I I e e e e e e e e e e e e e e .0