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Whtby Free Pros, Wmes~eday, Fobruiy 2, 1004, PopB 7 Hamburger and voice mail The Issue: By the time you read this the govern- ment of Canada will have executed Wendy and-etty. The two young redheads, both immigrants from Britain, have done nothing wrong. Unless, of course being a cow is wrong. The government has insisted that the two innocents must die. We think: Capital pumishment is a lot of bull. When Wendy and Hetty first came te this country in 1987, they undoubtedly were looking for a better life. Green pastures, warm stalis in the wînter, cosy tete-a-tetes with available young bachelor bulîs. But it is not te, be. Monday they were te have been executed, untried, even though the y committed no crime. Well, other than they were brought into this country solely forL their sexual escapades. Which wasn't a crime, exactly. We do not know how well the two Lincoln Rads Ferformed their assigned tasks. Neither was available fran intrvew. We do know that their King Township owner planned te appeal te the courts for a stay of execution. While we have argued in the past against capital unihmetwe admit that the dead don't commit criîts.Orbreed teo well. But in this case, the exction was planned solely on the suspicion aroused when a third cow in Alberta had a rare brain disease two months ago. We do hope Wendy and Hetty won their appeal. Hamburger is not a good condition for anyone te end up in. The Issue: The Information Super-Highway will allow us te tap into the Future. We Think: Voice mail is a wagon-rut leading te the Information Expressway. Let's see how some of this works. The Information Super-Highway will conneet computers with voice mail with electronie mail with .. . lots of other stuff You want te sample life on the leading edge. Okay, let's cail up the direct computer line of the Whitby Free Press. Dial,diaI,clial, dial,dial,dial,dial. (Only of course teday we don't dial, as in rotary dial, but rather punch buttons in a certain sequence. Like punch,punch,punch, punch,button,punch, punck.)1 (Or, better yet use communications software on your computer wbI*ch does ail the dialing for you. Whatever.) Ring, ring, click squeeeeeeeeeleleeeeleeeeleeeee. .. Okay, ha, ha, we got the fax fine. Sorry about that. (Same button punchmng dialing stuf Then: Ring, ring, cick squeeeeeeeeleeeeeeleeeeeleeeee- leeeelee . . Okay, see this Urne we got the computer line. Only you were expecting. a person. Usually, when you phone for a computer line you get a person. Who says things like: «Hello. Whitby Free Press. Hello? Hello?- Mutter, mutter, must be Swan. He's software stuck and can't switch te voice mode. The klutz.-" Click. Let us now visit the Voice-mail sideroad of the Information Super-Highway. Right. That dial-punch- buttons stuff again. Then: "Hello. You have reached Voice Box number» (shift in voices te computer-generated sexy female voice) "tweeentv-three oh oh six ninnnne» (change voices again) "ello. This je Captain Kirk. I'm not on the bridge of the Enterprise riçht now. I'm either talking on my communicater or I1m chasmng a second lieu- tenant around the after-deck. Please leave a message, and lIl get back te you the next Urne we're in your star cluster. If y ou need immediate help, punch zero te contact Star Base. Ready? " Beep. Click. The Issue: Jag Bhaduria, duly elected MP, quits the Liberal caucus. He says he didn't lie about his credentials -- he just didn't tell the truth. W thinkz:-«s reetor anigi si.1 WKITHY AMENA, GLBEKFT AND GREEN gI'REETS 1949 This frame building was constructed in 1889 by William Barnes and George Cormack and enlarged in 1913 by Fred Burns. In 1936, it was purchased by Norman Taylor. It was later operated by the Whitby insmen Club and demolished in 1953. ht mbSpoo 10 YBARS AGO fromn the Wednesday, Februazy 1, 1984 edition of the WHITBY FREE PRESS " Harry Inkpen ie the winner of the Peter Perry Award as Wbitby's outetanding citizen of 1983. " Swimmer Anne Ottenbrite is being considered to receive one of the Seagram's Five Star Awards for amateur sports. "*VWhitby echool trustee John Buchanan wants to halt residential growth until funds are availale to provide needed schoole. " Mayor Bob Atteraley prediets there will b. 2,500 lots available for residential development inWitby thie year. 35 YEAIIS AGO from the Thursday, January 29, 1959 edition of the WHITBY WEEIKLY NEWS *Mail delivery could begin in Whitby in June, as soon as 80 per cent of the town's homes have post boxes or Mail siots. *Nineteen complainte against the Whitby District High Sehool lPoard were lodged by parents at a five-hour meeting of the school board. *Whitby Rotary Club has started rehearsale for its annual instrel show. *Fred Ing, chairman of the Whitby Public Sehool Board, opened the additions te the King Street School on Jan. 21. 125 YEARS AGO from the Thursday, January 28, 1869 edition of the WITBY CHRONICLE *The Chronicle etates that the Ontario County Council of 1869 je made up of the best men since the council of 1856. A grand Masonic Festival will be held at the Mechanice' Institute, with music provided by the band of the 10th Royale, headed by Profeesor Toulman. e Hatch and Brother's hardware store ie advertising blacksmithe' bellowe. e Thirty-three unclaimed letters are advertieed at the Whitby Post Office. Rp 771me IN sejmý