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PAGE 14, WHITBY FREE PRESS. wEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER1, 1989 Foster parentil Many types of rewards By Kim Hawley Angela wasn't expected to live through her open-heart surgery. But, somehow, perhaps knowing love surrounded her, the little rl came through like a true 1 iter. Mable and Richard Willetts remember looking over their fos- ter child as she lay hooked up to tubes and machines in the hospi- tal bed. And they remember won- idering if she would be live to share in the joy of Christmas, or the next camping trip, or the next family birthday. "She was sotin so under- weight. We thoug t we were g ingto lose ber," remembers Angela did pull through, with flying colors; and she has been around to enjoy eight Christ- mases, numerous family outings and a rash of birthday parties. Angela's surgury was not the happiest experience the Willetts have lived through, but the Whitby couple do mark it as the most memorable experience in their 18 years as foster parents. In those 18 years, Mabel and Richard have been entrusted to care for more than 30 foster children. Foster families, like the Wil- letts, provide a home for children whose familes are in troubled times, or while the children are awaiting adoption. Many of the children taken, into the Willetts'home have beenL newborns, staying an average of. eight to 10 weeks. However, some children have stayed as long as four or five months. In some incidences, a child has stayed in the home for a year or more. But Angela, along with a young boy, remains in the care of Mable and Richard as long-term foster children. Angela, also plagued with Down Syndrome and who has special needs, is considered no less than one of the family. A special look in ber eyes and a broad genuine smile seem to indicate that Angela, who calls Mabel, Mom, sweetheart, ber friend and a number of other affecationate names, knows she is in a home filled will love and devotion. Mabel and Richard, with six children of their own, looked into becoming foster parents in 1969. Mabel, who has always felt a mother should be at home with her children, says the decision to become foster parents cameh soon after all of their own chil- dren were in school. Richard adds, "When our youngest child started kindergar- den, it got lonely around here. Mabel, who could have opted to work, says she and ber bus- band thought it would be ideal to open thier home to less fortunate children. "Luckily, my husband made enough money working at G.M. (General Motors) that I could stay home." However, Mabel soon dis- covered he had found a job. "Some people must realize that this is a 24-hour job." Although the Children's Aid Society, which sponsors the pro- gram, gives foster fami lies money to supplement the cost of ~food and other supplies in the Foster Parents Purpose: To provide homes for children whose families are experiencing troubled times, or, who are awaiting adption. Membership: 115 foster families in Durham Region - 20 families in Whitby. Funding: sponsored through the Children's Aid Society. Contact: Children's Aid Society - 433-1551. case of infants, the money was no factor in the Willetts' decision to become foster parents. "When we txrst investigated foster parenting, we didn't even know you got paid," says Richard. Foster parents are paid a starting rate of $19 a day per child. Rates for special~ needs children are slightly higher, according to specific needs. In 1970, when the couple took in their first foster child, they recieved $48 per month. "We have found foster parent- ing a rewarding experience," says Mabel. "But it's one that hasn't been without its ups and downs." In their 18 years the Willetts have enjoyed family trips that have taken them to Canada's Maritime provinces, Florida, New Jersey and the Dominican Republic. But in addition to family out- ings, festive seasons, and birth- day parties, the family has also been forced to deal with the many experiences encountered by any family, including sibling rivalry and the dreaded phone calls from schools. "We've had trying times with school problems and things like that," says Richard. "It hasn't always been a bed of roses." But nothing is as difficult to deal with as the task of having to say goodbye to a foster child, especially if the child has been with the family for an extended period of time. "It can be a very emotional experience," says Mabel. Richard and Mabel recently had to say goodbye to a two- year-old girl who was reunited with her moth'er after 18 months. "We shed some tears the day she left," says Mabel, adding there's a "real adjusting period' after a child leaves the home. "It was relieving when the social worker said the mother said we could see her again," says Mabel. (The couple are expecting to see the little girl during the Christmas season.) But the Willetts don't always have the opportunity to stay in contact with the children that leave their homa. "The mothers always say they're going to stay in touch, but of course they never do," explains Mabel. But Richard adds, "We know they all go to good homes. That's a satisfying feeling." Mabel adds, "There are many types of rewards you receive from fostering. Being mostly in- volved with infants, just watch- mg them thrive from your love and nurturing is gratifying. "We have also received some positive comments from our social workers and the agency which is encouraging to us in fostering." Despite the ups and downs of foster parenting, the Willetts say they wouln't change one day in Richard and Mabel Willets have, six children of their own, but their love never ran dry for the more than 30 foster children they have cared for and nutured in their 18 years as foster parents. Free Press photo the past 18 years. They do wish they could change the future though. "I wish we could stop the aging process so we could continuing fostering," says Mabel, adding, "I do beleive the children keep you younger." And of course, Richard and Mabel wish they could see some the children who have been a part of their lives. "Just so we could see what they look like now," says Mabel. The Willetts expect to continue fostering for another five or six years. "I figure we'll do it until my husband retires. It could be several more years, but I'd say about another five yers." Pat Reber, a community rela- tions officer for the Çhildren's Aid Society, decribes the Willetts as an "excellent example" of the foster parents in the Durham Region. 'Lhe Willetts are one of 115 foster families in Durham Region. There are about 20 fam- ilies in Whitby. "The Willetts are tremen- dously caring people," says Reber. He too, remembers the little girl stricken with a heart disease and who wasn't expected to live. "Through some gift of care, that child pulled through and overcame health problems." "We believe that through their (the Willetts) care and encouragement.the child is alive today," adds Reber. The Willetts were among the many other foster parents reco- nized at the Durham Children's Aid Society annual award dinner recently at the Bowmanville Lions Club. The Children's Aid Soceity is always looking for foster parents that have, and are willing, to offer a stable home environement for foster children. "We're looking for families who care and understand about chil- dren, and who have the ability to be therapeutic with kids," says Reber. Because many of the foster children have been abused, foster parents are not allowed to pract- ise any type of corporal punish- ment. Howver, foster parents do need to be consistent, patient, encouraging and have the ability to set limits. And the family setting needs to be consistent with routines, such as regular meal and bed times. "For some kids, that's a new experience," says Reber. People who care about the well being of children and who are considering foster parenting should look at the opportunity with a long-term scope. "We hope the people choose to foster as a career," says Reber. The Children's Aid Society offers foster parent training pro- gramns as well as support pro- gramns. Anyone interested in becoming a foster parent can call 433-1551 and speak to a foster care recrui- ter. Imagine is a national campaign of The Canadian Centre for Philanthropy to increase Canadians' awareness and contribution to all charitable and volunteer organizations. We support their goals and are contributing space for the Imagine ads on this and other pages. To bring the campaign closer to home, the Whitby Free Press is running a series of profiles of the needs and activities of local organizations. Call us if your organization could use a boost. _Y;,, M AWARM FEEING IN YOUR TOES, WE NEED A LOT MORE WARM TOES. The giving begins with you. IL ýj 7