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WHITBY FREE PRESSJWEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 6. 1985.PAGE 5 "I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man." - Thomas Jefferson THE CROW'S NEST by Michael Knell I caused a minor stir in the hearts of a few people late last year when I wrote of my concerns, fears and anger over the antics of Jerry Falwell and other t.v. evangelists. Well, to my great surprise, I'm still getting letters and calls about these super salesman of the radical right dressed as Men of the Cloth. Last week, a Hickory St. resident sent me copies of three letters written to him by Rex Humbard, all of which solicited money for the continuation of his television ministry. In these letters, Humbard tells my reader that "the devil, through a certain situation, has declared war on me like you wouldn't believe. He and iis demons would like to silence Rex Humbard forever and they are about to do it." However, the reverend gentleman failed to tell my reader exactly what this situation was or how it arose although he was adamant that if my reader didn't send him $25 right away that the Humbard television ministry was going to sign-off the air forever (which is, by the way, a pleasing, though unlikely, thought). The letters go so far as to include a little prayer asking God to help my reader find the money or, at least, realize that he's got it to spare. He goes on to say that he and his wife, Maude Aimee, "are going to, practically, stay on our knees and stay right here and pray until your answer comes back to us." I imagine that the Humbards must have strong knees, because I don't think my reader has yet to send them the $25. A few days after my reader got this letter, he received a second. Now, in this letter, Humbard says that if the $25 isn't sent, "they (whoever 'they' are) will turn off the light of my life, this ministry." After this, Humbard gives the distinct impression that God literally lef t the heavens to tell him that those who gave him the $25 would still have money. So, our t.v. evangelist told my reader to "please RUSH that $25 in the mail today. Obey God and help stop this emergency crisis. God will bless those who listen to His voice concerning this sacrifice....In your heart, you will have to answer this question between you and Now, if that isn't emotional and spiritual blackmail, I don't know what is. In this letter, Humbard promises that in return for his $25, my reader would receive an electric Jesus night light. "Each time you look at this glowing light it is going to remind you that Jesus is walking back and forth....back and forth beside your bed all night long, watching over you as you sleep. I want you to have this." I don't know about you, but I'm about to throw up. Now, since these haven't worked too well, Humbard sends him yet another letter which compares himself and his ministry to a man wandering outside in a rain storm. My reader is supposed to give him a ride in his nice, warm and dry car. This time, Humbard goes farther and suggests that my reader take the $25 out of his next cheque. What cheque? His pay cheque, perhaps? How about his pension cheque? But once again, Humbard calls on my reader to "please obey the Holy Spirit" Àand send himthe $25. There are sore interesting things about these letters. First of all, they are not written on Humbard's letterhead - that is, if he has one. Secondly, they are photocopies. Thirdly, should my reader decide to send him the $25, he should also return the letter. That, quite frankly, puzzles one. Finally, they seemed to be typed in the "hunt and peck" method. These letters make me angry - they offend my personal ethics. That someone, aven a Man of the Cloth, should be allowed to solicit money in this fashion is beyond reason. I don't know how any man, especially one who claims to be a Man of God, has the gall to write such letters Ill never know. How could he live with himself? What kind of moral lugguage is Humbard carrying around with him? To suggest, as he did, that not to send him $25 would literally be a sin for which my reader would be directly accountable to God is nothing short of emotional and spiritual blackmail. Allow me to admit that I am neither a cleric nor a theologian. My knowledge of the Bible and the inner workings of the church is not all that great. But one thing I do know is that these letters do not seem to be consistent with what I have read and learnt. I've always believed that more than anyone else, ministers of the church tried to live the sort of life Christ lived. I don't know about you, but I can't imagine Him writing letters to residents of Whitby begging for $25, in exchange for which they would receive an electric Rex Hum- bard night light. Like any other organization, the church has to raise money to do its job. I don't object to that but what I do object to is the manner in which people like Rex Humbard literally extort money from the uniformed and the easily scared. My reader was neither of those. Not only did he not sent Humbard the $25 but he turned his letters over to the Attorney General and to the Moderator of the United Church of Canada. My reader wasn't bamboozled but I am afraid that many people are. After eading Humbard's letters, I was left with many serious questions. For instance: Is this what Christianity has come to? Is this what we can expect from the church in the 20th century? I hope not. In fact, I even pray it isn't so. I know tthere are rnany good people who womk every day to show to the rest of the worîd that theMessage of Christ isn't dead. Mother Theresa, Ted Scott and a host of other people are out there proving that the Rex Humbard's of this world don't own the Christian message. But unfortucately, they choose to be true to their beliefs andanot adopt the hardsell, p.r. tactis of the fundamentalist movement. And, in a way, thank iGod forthat. SOLWAY A p hilosophy lesson Aristotle, student of Plato, teacher of Alexander the Great, the inventor of logic, said very clearly for all to hear: "Guys--I have decided that if one thing is true then it's opposite must be false." That quote may not be precise, It may even sound stupid to most 1985 modems. "It is as obvious as the nose on your face that opposites can't both be true." It is not my point to debate what every first year philosophy student knows, that opposites cannot both be true according to what is called "The Aristotelian Square." As a failing first year philosophy student myself, I accepted Aristotle. In spite of the fact that "there are two sides to every story" which, if you stretched the point could suggest that a case could be made for Death Camps. I ramble. Still with me, are you? Still wondering where all this is going? Remind me to remind myself of one of the basic "truths" about journalism and good writing: "Your lead (the opening sentence in a story) should tell your readers exactly what it is you are going to talk about. There are some schools of writing that suggest that in fact your "lead" should tease and arouse interest. I could try that one. How's this: Somewhere a dog barked. There is a point here. Confusion. Helter-skelter. Failure of logic. Stay with me. Here goes. Fact: most of the people in this country believe in free enterprise (at least that's how we voted.) Fact: we are not a nation of business risk takers. Fact: we Canadians have a higher proportion of earnings in savings accounts than any other developed country. (See Chicken Little the sky-is- falling syndrome.) Fact: the stock market took off like a skyrocket last week signalling either a return of confidence from the business community or the cyclical mad- ness of thousands of Canadians. Fact: a lucky family in Brooklin won half-a- million dollars in the lottery which will stimulate (not necessarily in this order) a rush of people in Brooklin, Whitby, Myrtle and maybe even Utica to increase their lottery purchases; encourage a lot of people to be jealous of them; stimulate real estate brokers and car salesmen to stake out their house; perpetuate the fantasy that anyone can be rich. Fact: Peter Pocklington is in hock up to his... and only the Alberta treasury will handle hisI.O.U.'s. This apparently random assembly of facts is not quite as random as it seems. Eureka. (Means "I got it.") The light dawns. You and I can wonder together at what truly strange and willful creatures we all seem to be. Paradox heaped on contradiction. "Common sense" proves again to be the uninfor- med person's answer to knowing what he is doing. The truth about most of us Canadians is that we really are different. The advocates of some kind of union with the United States had better watch out. We just wouldn't mix. They are adventurous to a fault. They can go broke. Be out of work. Be unable to pay hospital bills. Be oppressed by predatory big business and yet they will still "Believe." We Canadians only say we believe. Truth to tell, we do not. We vote conservative because we are conservative, not because we believe in their politics or economics. We would far sooner have a safe job than take a chance on the adventure of business. The world has told us again and again that we lack enterpreneurism. We hate to take reasonable chances, to bet on ourselves. But here's the paradox: We stampede to take foolish chances. We are awash in the lottery ticket business, believing that a buck can make you rich. We are now stampeding in- to the broker's offices. Ablaze with hot tips and in- side information, thousands of otherwise sane people are putting their money into the stock market. Some will make a dollar or two. More will get hurt. I used to be one of the big players in that game. I did very well at it. One day I might even tell you all how much money was made. But I developed a natural suspicion of get-rich-quick dreams. When the stock market is going up everyone is an expert. But I always said that when hairdressers and cab drivers (two of the world's greatest carriers of gossip) were getting into the market, along with assorted housewives, salesclerks and dentists, it was time for the smart guys to get out. The principle is: sell into a rising market. This column is not for the faint-hearted. If you have come this far 1 could leave you with one word that may set the tone for all that passes your way until this time next week: HELP!