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6. WHiITBY FREE PRESS PAGE 14, WEDNESDAY, Series on adolescents: Many problems beset people between ehildhood, adulthood MONEYTREE ....et $ $t $ BY by BLAKE PURDY Staff Writer When adults reminisce about the "good old days" of double-dating, drive-in movies, disco dancing and the other aspects of their adolescent years, they are forgetting that those were troubled times. And, although today's youngsters may not in any way resemble their counter- parts of the thirties, forties or fifties in their attitudés, activities and appearances, they are faced with the same problerns. Members of the staff of the Whitby Psychiatrie Hospital's adolescent unit discussed some of the problems whicli beset that age group at a recent series of lectures at the Whitby Public Library. Psychologist Dr. Jim Ricks introduced the series with his topic "What teenagers are up against". The big problen which today's adolescents face is identifying their role in society. They are asking thenselves "Who arn ?". Adolescents are caught between being treated like children and wanting to be treated like adults, according to Dr. Ricks. "The whole thing about what it means to be an adult and a child is more ambiguous than in the past", he said. "Kids want to grow up. Kids don't particularly want to be kids. They want to be adults", said Dr. Ricks. He reasoned that this is so because the youngsters of today are exposed to the realities of the adult world like never before, thanks to mass media. "They've become a lot more aware of the world around them. They're almost overkilled with information. They can see things happen on television", said Dr. Ricks. Things like the scars of war on the l1 o'clock news, the breakdown of a family in 'Mary Hartman', the ugliness of bigotry in 'All in the Family'. "Even on the kids' shows, there's a lot more awareness about what's going on in the world", said Dr. Ricks. When youngsters are so immersed in the realities of the adult world, it is difficult for them when they are treat- ed like children, he said. Some examples of ways in which adolescents are treated like children: - Youngsters of today are often asked by their parents to perform menial tasks simply to get them away from the television. The youngstersfrequently question the orders by saying some- thing like "This isn't meaning- ful work. This is make work". "In affluent, well off families, it's possible for kids to feel 'It doesn't really matter what I do', said Dr. Ricks. When youngsters question orders to perform meaningless tasks, parents often attempt to justify their orders by saying something meaningless like "You do it because I said so". In essence, they are saying "Well, I.m an adult and you're a child". - Another classic example of parents treating adolescents like little children is the com- ments made all too often by parents when their youngsters make requests. "He just wants his own way" or "She just wants attention" are simplistic inadequate put downs of their desires, according to Dr. Ricks. As a result, he said, "Kids don't really see theMselves as part of society. They see thernselves as pets. Their sense of belonging, feeling part of the real world is diminished". ur. Ricks suggested that parents, when talking to their adolescents, consider this question: "Would I speak to my husband or wife that way?" By doing this, they are more likely to treat their adolescent children like adults, he said. But, being caught between childhood and adulthood isn't the only dilemma facing today's adolescents. "We're beginning to gel some real different ideas as to what it means to be male and female", said Dr. Ricks,noting that, today, sexual roles are more ambiguous than ever before. . In the past, when boys and girls were asked what careers they were considerini the choices were fairly clea1 cut. "That's changing , said Dr. Ricks. Social worker Marilyn Lay elaborated on the subject of adolescent sexuality lu part two of the series. She began by defining sexuality as the physical, intellectual, emotional, spiri- tual and nsvchological cuali- ties of one's total personnood. qualities which are dictated by gender. The act ofsex is a small part of sexuality. Because sex is such a big part of the lives of today's adolescents, Ms. Lay dealt with that topic. She said that many adolescents have sexual intercourse because of pressure from peers. It's the "in-thing" to do, so to speak. While many can cope with the physical aspects of sex, most can not handle it emotionally. "We've given them all this freedom but we haven't taught them responsibility", -said Ms. Lay. "They're not free and easy. They're concerned about marriage and parenting", she said. "They want some kind of guidelines". The guidelines should come from the parents, said Ms. Lay. However, communications between parents and adoles- cent children is often difficult, especially when it involves topics which are as sensitive as sex. Social worker Carol Klaassen addressed herself to the problem of communi-. cations between parents and adolescents in part three of the series. Mrs. Klaassen continued where Ms. Lay finished, saying that youngsters do indeed want guidelines as to what they can and can not do. These rules should be set down in a democratic fashion with input from the children. However, there are a number of obstacles which often obstruct the communi- t cations which formulate such rules. Many of these obstacles can be labelled "games". Here are some examples illustrating games which are played by both parties - in the first case, the parent (P), and in the second, the adolescent child (C): - C: "Dad, can I use the car on Friday night?" P: "Maybe, we'll see". - C: "Mom, can I go to the dance tomorrow?" P: "No, we would like you to help us pack". C: "Well, I'm going". P: "Why did you ask me?" WHITBY MALL over 30 stores open from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. 6 days a week Thickson Rd. andHwy. 2 !RMRER'