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PAGE 6. THURnDAY,J.ANUARY 3. 1974, WHITBN'FREE PRESS VIEW -J/M OUAI RESOLVE Lucky us, it's that time of the year when we can A sit down and resolve what flot to do for the bright new year coming and then march right out and break most of the resolutions. It's almost a tradition in most homes. The other haif makes a short speech, unaccustomed as she is to public speaking, about the new year and how it would be a good time to resolve to do certain things. Usually by that she means that when you promise to take her out for the neglt it woajt be a trip to the butcher's and back. It semrs they do flot aT'o consider a night at the alley with the bowling league as a proper night out either. So the thing to do is to make sure if you're going to resolve to do or not to do sométhing it should be easy to keep the resolution. Just like the rest of you 1 have flot had any more luck in keeping New Year's resolu. tiens so this year 1 will resolve only to do things I know are possible. For instance 1 resolve flot to curse above 45 dicibles when sorne joker tries te make macaroni out of my front fender in heavy traffic on the Don Valley Parkway. Yelling any louder than that only niakes more adrenalin pump and adrenalin 1 don't need on the world's Iargest parking lot. Luck is what 1 need, or a bulldozer. Another thing 1 resolve is not to take more than 10 minutes in the washroom of a friends house when he or she is having a party. Actually that resolution isn't liard te keep cither because my blood still runs fast at -s WE'VE CHANGED- 110W ABOUT CR00?e NEWS TEN MINUTES SOONER 14 C.HOOý The Briglht and Lîvely Town & Couintry Sound the thought of the last party when 1 took a liesurely hall hour to do my business and three desperate women broke up a heavy wooden table and used one of the legs to batter down the bathroom door. 1 tell you bell'hath no fury like a womnan deprived of the bathroom. 1 also promise to, stay 'on the beaten ski traits in 1974. I resolve flot to embark off into the bush with much gusto and a skin full of wine and make like Daniel Boone. A friend and 1 did that a few years ago at Mont Gabriel and when we finally found a clearing it turned out to be a six lane expressway. Can you imagine our embarassment at having to stand there in full ski gear hitching a ride back to the lodge. 0f course that wasn't as embarassing as skiing out onl to a frozen lake and very unashamnedly yelling HELP! at the top of our lungs. White still on the topic of skiing 1 must also resolve flot to turn around in the chair lift and flirt with the pretty young things in the chair behind me. That resolution is prompted by an incident that led to a lot of aerial acrobaties and a very astonished tow operator when I reached the end of the lift at the top. 1 would have belted him for bis remark but 1 was too busy hold- ing on tight with both hands. Worse stili 1 had to ski half way down the mnountaîn with no poles. I also resolve flot to rake leaves. 1 know I have saîd this iany times before but this timne I will keep my resolution. Let's just say this has a lot to do with the time when 1 rakod my heart out for two days to dlean up each and every leaf and discovered to my horror, three days later, that somne of the neighborhood kids had made a fort in the back yard with ail the 'neat' leaves they found out ini the field. 1 also resolve to go easier on Herman the cat. Herman belongs to some friends of mine up north and the poor cat takes quite a beating. When 1 go for a visit Herman goes into hiding but 1 usually find him and drag him out by the tail to 'have fun'. Rubbing thistles in his furry belly wasn't too bad but the wine in his water dish really got him into trouble. Acutally Herman's a pretty good cat - just a little high strung. 1 aJso have to resolve to keep my cool when 1 vîsit the supermarket and find eut my favorite geodies have tripled in price overnight. 1 guess jumping up on the -T//E Qfi/? -7&i7rF/C, ;eu g qSE,'?7-3,F/7- T//o9lV >ýq4SA/VD96Ë./'11, counter and screaming "Give me cheaper steaks or give. me death!"' was a littie dramatie but as 1 remember the prices made quite a hike that week. No wonder cows are a religious symbol in India. My editor has suggested that 1 should also resolve to stop bilking the public out of their timne and moriey and stop writing this dribble every week. 1 think he has in mirid writing the serial story of the secret sex life of the Australian guppy. Personally 1 think he's a little sore because 1 demnand- ed a new typewriter ribbon. When 1 told' him what 1 needed he snorted, "What another one? We just bought you on back in '72." And people wonder why 1 mumble to myself.. CHERNIEYYSÀ JAN UAE We'II save you a bundie on furniture, appliances, stereo, televisions and. ca- rpeting. Today, you can save below our Everyday Low Sa lecentre. Prices on ail our clearance items. That's right! You con "Save Big" on one of a kind, floor sample and end of the line, Furniture, Applilances, Stereo, Television, and Carpeting. Choose from Brand Names such as McClary, RCA, Armstrong, Inglis, Vilos, Sklar and many, many others. Gentie 'In Store' Terms easily arranged. SHOP NISIITLY TILL- 9:30 P08 CHERNEY'S FURNITURE WORLI) HWY. 2 (opp. Whltby Mail)