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PAGE 6, WHITBY FREE PRESS, THURSDAY, MAY,,31, 1973 BIRD 'S £ Y£ VIEW by Jim Oumil MOANI... GROANII The odds caught up with me yesteraay ana I have been stricken. All last winter I had the laugh as my fellow workers succumbed to the dreaded flu but guess who just went down for the count?? It wont take you long to guess by the time you þlow your way through this collection of broken thoughts and slaughtered grammar. I'm what you could term a "fair weather writer". If I'm stuck for time it doesn't mean a thing but when I feel rotten my brain goes dead alright, deader than usual, and my fingers to limp at the typewriter keys. Earlier I asker Ron, our advertising executive at the Free Press, if he would look in the obituaries column to see if my namie was there. The way j feel today I TOWN OF WHITBY PROCLAMATION WHITBY MINOR BASEBALL DAY TAKE NOTICE that by resolution of the council of the Town of Whitby, Saturday, June 2 1913 has been proclaimed as Minor Baseball bay, being the officiai opening day of the baseball season in the Town of Whitby. D.G-Newman MAYOR Town of Whitby would not say the reports of my death had been exaggerated. When Ron told Mike, our new editor, why I was late, I could hear Mike in the background mumbling, "best excuse he's had in three weeks for being late!" Being sick not only makes you feel terrible but it's bad for your health as well. Being a miserable bachelor I have to suffer alone in silence. It's only whe n I drag my carcass out of bed and shuffle off to work that I can find and audience to listen to my tale of grief and sickness. And I must say, nobody seems to darned sympathetic. I guess they remember my kidding last winter when I was the picture of health. Well maybe not the picture of health but I didn't look like a candidate for a marble slab. Funny, when I just read over what I had written and muttered out loud, "this doesn't seem to make much sense", some wiseacre replied, "So what else is new??" Everybody's a critic. Anyway the average husband has it pretty good when he is home sick from work.. or should that be home from work, sick?? He lays in bed and moans and groans about how the whole business will fall apart if he's not there to run things and he contemplates phoning the office to leave messages with the secretary. When he finally does phone he discovers that nobody really knew he was missing till he phoned. That's when the moaning and groaning really starts about how if he passed away in his sleep tomorrow nobody would even know he was gone. After that session is over it's time for the, "serve me, I'm sick, and wait on me hand and foot". That's one thing you have to say in favour of the ladies, when they get sick they don't usually put on an Emmy per- formance. They just crawl into bed and want to be left alone to get well or die, what ever the case may be. But the husband is the breadwinner so he needs more attention doesn't he, right? He needs loads of magazines and the television moved into the bedroom even though "he never watches the boob tube" and rather than eating three square meals a day, if he can, he would rather have about twenty smaller meals so he doesn't stretch his stomach out of shape. He usually says, "Don't give me too much, I might not be able to keep it down." Scarcely ten minutes after the empty dishes have been whisked away hubby is calling for another exotic dish of some sort or another. Kids have it pretty good when they're sick too. When a kid gets sick it's hard to tell he's in bed because the bed is covered with the latest comic books. newest games, model airplanes and an assortment of weird foods that would make a well man sick. Some of the things sick kids eat would make my fur-lined fridge look inviting in comparision. The dirtiest deal I ever got was one Christmas time when I got~sick on the first day of the Christmas holidays and I was better on the last day of my holidays. Some- body up ihere definitely had it in for me that year. For weeks I kept thinking, "Frorm Santa Claus I get this for Christmas". Lately, we have been so busy that I don't have time to get sick. The general feeling seems to be, "get sick, moan and groan all you like, but keep on working!" Inflation is getting to eMèrything. It used to be when you got sick you could count on missing three or four days of work but with things the way they are now you're lucky to get a day off. I tell you this Trudeau government is ruining us! I think l'il send him a nice letter telling him how sick I am. The Day They Stopped Advertising CONTINUED FROM LAST WEEK There are just so many times when you· can go to the bathroom. Over in the Place Bonaventure, thousands of members of ACTRA (the actors and actresses) from across Canada gathered to protest the ad- vertising ban. The residuals had stopped com- ing in. Mrs. Fred Davis had to get rid of her dog. Actors and actresses were reduced to con- suming the free products they.had taken home for years after making commercials. Donald Harron was guzzlin Brim Coffee. William Shatn- er had heaps of Loblaw products. Wayne and Shuster were.eating tires. The whole theatrical world of Canada was shaken. Well-known stage personalities like Bill Walker, Tom Kneebone, Dinah Christie, would be missing out on pin-money from com- mercials. Hundreds of young hopefuls who jumped around in beer commercials were left with no place to go, but south. Ben McPeek and Larry Trudell left for Spain because there were no more jingles to be jangled. Continued on page 12 - Whitby Public Utilities Commission Residential Service Rate Schedule Effective with al bills issued on and after August 1, 1973 Telephone 668-5878 WhitbyOntario Dr. J. McKinney, Chairman H. C. Simpson, Manager and Secretary Regular Service 3.2 4 per kilowatt-hour for the first 250 kilowatt-hours per month. 1.2 e per kilowatt-hour for al additional monthly con- sumption. Metered Water Heating A block of 500 kilowatt - hours per month at a special rate of 0.95 c per kilowatt - hour to be made available to all - year customers using an approved electric water heater supplied through the residenti-' service meter after 250 kilowatt - hours per month hai been billed at the foregoing rates. Minimum monthly bill - $4.50 Energy charges for unmetered sentinel lighting service, where applicable, shall be calculated on the basis of 1.1 times the energy charges for street lighting GENERAL SERVICE RATE SCHEDULE Effective wil ail bills issued on and after July 1, 1973 General Service Applicable to loads from 0 - 5,000 kilowatts First 50 kilowatts of billing demand per month - nil Balance at $2.25 per kilowatt of billing demand per month 3.2 4 per kilowatt - hour for the first 250 kilowatt- hours per month 1.7 4 per kilowatt - hour for the next 9.750 kilowatt - hours per month 0.65 e per kilowatt - hour for the next 1,890.000 kilowatt - hours per month 0.4 4 per kilowatt - hour for ail additional monthly consumption COMPARISON OF NET MONTHLY BILLS RESIDENTIAL : For stepdown from subtransmission voltage per kilowatt of billing demand per month - 25 c For stepdown from distribution voltage per kilowatt of billing demand per month - 15 c 1.7 c per kilowatt - hour for energy supplied through a seperate meter as an alternative to the General rate. Applicable to existing installations only. FLAT RATE WATER HEATING SCHEDULE No. 53 (Applicable to existing installations only) Effective with all bills issued for accounts billed monthly accounts billed bi-monthly. 400 - watt element 450 - watt element 500 - watt element 550 - watt element 600 - watt element 650 - watt element 700 - watt element 750 - watt element 800 - watt element 850 - watt element 900 - watt element on and after July 1, 1973 and August 1, 1973 for 1.91 per month 2.14 per month 2.39 per month 2.63 per month 2.86 per month 3.03 per month 3.20 per month 3.38 per month 3.54 per month 3.71 per month 3.89 per month Minimum kWh $4.50 4.50 150 141 250 kwh $ 7.50 8.00 Preferred Rate 500kwh $9.63 10.38 GENERAL SERVICE 10kw 50 kw 100 kw 200 Whitby - Present New $35.50 37.75 200 300 $163.50 $194.50 173.75 206.25 400 $225.50 238.75 200 300 400 $333.00 $395.00 $457.00 300 $1,999.00 351.25 416.25 481.25 2.096.25 Present New 750 kwh $ 11.75 12.75 1000 kwh $ 14.63 15.75 500 kw 5000 kw 400 $22,594.00 24,000.00