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VIEW JIM OUAl ARE They are you know. Just take a clos- er look at them some day end you'll see what I mean. Drivers are really funny people. AIl you have to> do is post yourself in some downtown area and sit back and watch. Probably the first kind you'Il see is the,window shopper housc-ewife. Unfortunately she windowN shops from her driver deat. lIve seen the type my- self while driving. She points over my way and yells to her passenger, " Oh Gladys look at that beautiful pant-suit". At this point she makes a left hand turn from the curb lane in an arc Iine direct- ly dissecting both my front fenders. And then there's the ones wvho aren't sure about hitch-hikers. They take a look, and then charge on past until they are approximately seven and a half feet past the hitch-hiker. At thic distance they suddenly realize that the lhe' is a 'she' and they slam on the brakes leav- i n g y o u no choice but to 'drop in'. I sometimes suspect the bodyshops send out beautiful young girl s on rtreets tohitch-hikeandthen pay the girls 10 % off the top. Everybody has seen the driver who has a terrible aversion toyellow lights. They are the kind that go 1ike the blazes ...OO PS! It w ou I d seem that a couple of Engin- eers for Canadian Pacific Railroad m i g h t have a Iittle explanation to give after this engine went completely off the tracks on a spur line at General Motors on Stevenson Road South. The engine, pictured above, went through the barri- cade at the end of the spur 1ine, down an e m b a n k m e n t and through a chainliink f e nce after rupturing the fuel tanks in the drop. There were no injuries but costs could exceed $1000 to repair the damage. FU NY PEOPLE up the street and then slam on the bind- ers for a yellow 1light you expected them to run. And because you expected them to run the yellow 1light you had your foot on the gas instead of the brake. The score now becomes 2 for the bodyshops and O for the drivers. You can't miss the driver who hates parallel parking. In fact they halte it so much they never quite get parked. They do a beautiful series of manoeuvres and windup parking 36" from the cLrb. The husband then gets out and says, " That's ail rightdear, I'llcatcha bus from here to the curb!" Sometimes you get the other kind of parallel parker. They're the kind that c a n t parallel park. . . but nobody has ever told them they can't! JuF watch them in a tight spot, and the way the cars get bigger the spots get tighter al l the time. First they back up. . . . . crunch! Then forward... wham! Then back again. . . tinkle! and then the last lunge forward again. . . munch* ! ! The driver turns to her passenger and says, " Is that all right Gladys ? " Gladys then replies, " Sure you got it right into thecurb, but what's this big funny yel- low thing by the sidewalk?" And the tour ists, don't you l ove them! FROM CANADIAN FEDERATION CF INOEPENDENT BUSINESS This message is placed by the Canadian Federation of Independent Business - a federally incorpo r a ted non - profit organization dedicated to the preservation of the family farm and independent business in Canada. en Srider District Manager, Ontario County. A BIRD'S. EYE DRIVERS 40e Warehouse Sale Childrens Wear Up to 75% off retail price Sale on until everything sold to the bare walls 801/2 SIMCOE ST. N. (rear of Cooks office equipment) EveryWednesday, Thursday, Friday & Saturday llam to 6pm Page 5 They're the ones you see catching heck from a cop for going the wrong way on one-way street and explaining to him, " But officer, I was only going one-way!" Who else but a tourist would have the nerve to pull up to a red light in his camper and get out of the driver's seat and walk to the b'ack and start cooking lunch ?Tourists are easy to spot. They get out of the car with funny looking plates and thumb their noses at the park- ing meter on their way by. Sometimes you can see them backing down a half mile long cloverleaf. Some drivers are very noise consc- ious. If they hear the least little odd noise they whip the car into the nearest garage, It doesn't matter to them that the noise happened to be from driving over a traffic cop's toes. Later on when they go into pick up the car they have t h e n e r v e to complain to the garage manager that the car made a funny noise when they backed it out. The manager says, "Sure it made a funny noise, the mechanic was still on a creeper under- neath fixing it! As a driver myself I still harbour a deep prejudice against pedestrians thou- gh, 1t seems to me they always have the right of way. Just try to nose a fender through the streamof people and they'll kick you right in the headlight every time. I have a Golden Rule for pedestrains. I wontt drive on your sidewalks if you don't walk on my road. What could be fairer ? The real answer is to turn pededtrains loose in traffic. Why not? I think they s houId have to take their chances in traffic just like the rest of us. BUTT RADIO & APPLIANCES "Your Electrohoiue, R.C.A. & Panasonic Dealer" 668-3707 118 BROCK ST.S., WHITBY Support your local Independent Business Man Ho helps YOUR cornrunity grow and prosper!