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WHITE3Y FREE PRESS, Thùrsday, March 23, 1972, Page7 Head F«r High Ground! Icanremember as a kid makIng lit tle wooden boats out of anything that happen- ed to be lying around and sending these boats off to sea in water filled dit- ches in the Spring. The w ay things are shaping up this S p ring9, 1lthink the kids are going to need a lot of wood for those boats. They c a n g e t t h e measurernents out of the b ibl1e. You know. -..the section where the whole world. . . especially Whitby..-. gets flooded and somebody has to butIld an ark. Psst! ltIs time. Just look around, welve got snow up toourhip pockets and already the north end of town looks like the I3ering Sea. Àfter seeing a commercial about Volks- wagen and how they float, l'm thinking of trading in the old truck. 1 wouldn't stand a chance in my old haif ton. It w oul1d p ro bably fl1oat for two, maybe t h ree. . . seconds. Hardly even enough time to turn off the radio. I used to think it was great living n e ar Lake Ontario. The lake keeps us a little warmer in the winter and a lit- tlecooler in the summer. Then one day I was looking at one of those maps that s howvvs the el evation of each a,-ea. Do you know th at just about everybody in t h i s whole damn province is on higher ground th an we are? That also rneans that their flood waters are higher than we are, and water has thi s stupi d habit of running downhiîl. Sometimes I' think that alI I the flood waters i n the province corne to Whitby f or a Spriîng c onf erence. 1 f igure the on I y way to beat this trend is to buy a surf board. 1 was mention ing flood wat- Now ___ FROM A IRD'S e r s t o an out-of-town friend who was visiting'me the other day. He happened to g1 a nce down the hall and he spotted my scuba tanks. I guess he figured the situation was even worse than I had told becaus e he blanched a littie and then he toi1 d his wife it was time they were go ing. He muttered about it being late as he went out the door, and I swear I h eard hlm say something about being a poor swimfmer. You know the construction compan- e s c o uld make a good profit by going a round and putting homes up on stilts. I d on'1t know where they wouîId put the furnace though, and ail1 that junk \Ne us- ual ly keep in the basement. And the town c o u I d s ave a lot of money on garbage Sol I e c t i on if things get much worse. Heck, you just wrap your garbage in a plastic garbage bag and throw it out the front door. . and in no time it wiI11 float dlean out into the lake. 1Ihave noticed acouple of raging tor- rents in the north end of town that coul d b e put to good use. The P. U. C. coulId buliIdhydro generating stations on these sites and use the water power to pro- duce electricity. Out about that ark. Let's not waste anytime. Thefirstsunnyday that cornes al1o ng we ar'ý- reall1y going to catch i t! Wha t w ith ail the sex switching these- d ay s, we woul1dn 1t even have to worry a b ou t getting two of everything on the ark. Now that I think about it, Ilm missing out on a good business opportunity. If anybody is interested out there, maybe we coulId get together and start the Whi tby Ark Supply Company. We woul d- n't have to worry about council elther, if wePl ayed it cool - we'd just ask them to our Spring Sal-e. Then we'd adver- EVE tise It in the 'Free Press'. Bet flot one of them would miss it! T h epart that real ly bugs me about s p r ing floods is the attitude of the ln- surance companies. They ail say, "We cannot pay because it is an Act of God."I' Did I ask God -for dli1 this water, now I a s k you ? Weli1 the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, but in the Spring I wish the Lord wouldn't giveth so much! Heard's9 'Taxi 668-3732- Rai quipped & Direct Lie at Arnold "S Market 115 Brock St*. N. Fr Yeur Csomh.o 150 fERRY ST WgKITDy BRECK BASIC TEXTURIZING SHAMPOO WITH PROTEIN èa SUGG. LIST 1.7993 -~ DESERT FLOWER )I>ISERTHAND à BODY LOTION * SPECIAL 8 OZ. SIZE - ~ SPECIAL LIST 3.50 FOR 1.79 9 »JLISTERINE ANTISEPTIC -~ 20 oz. SUGGESTED LIST 1.89 ADORN HAIR SPRAY 4 TYPES 6.3 OZ. - SUGO. LIST 1.98 DESERT FLOWER LADIES'GIFT SET 4 OZ. DUSTING POWDER & 2 OZ. SPRAY COLOGNE SUGO. LUST 6.00 1.19a 119 33 A SET COURTICEAWLN I.D.A.PtARMACY MHORT'S I.D.A. PHARMACY il7 I and St. K. 66813t WHITBY 65 93ldWIR St. 655-3301 BROOKLIN Five year Guaranteed Investment Certificates. Get yours now! *GREY TRUST COMPANY SINCE 18891 Duados t. W0 wi* VIEW J/M OUAI 2, 4e