Ontario Community Newspapers

Markdale Standard (Markdale, Ont.1880), 4 Nov 1886, p. 3

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 " ?,}»pw strip with Wright's 1? of great strena sene or other oili ision faucet and P Vt also PEERI id Horse Powers. AND RIFT AND VENGEANCE ImONG The Most Fascisatdtg Oceas Robiance Sikce the Dats or COOPEB 4M MAEyATT. THE SPGGLERS. •^i.^ss?^" "Aye, aye, sir!" -g\PTER VII.â€" (CosTixuED.) ipf,kel him in the face, and whQe "â- â-  hanis vera clasped around him, â-  j^ ^linl and the words came out "like and with such alarming volu- "",;erakU l*eing perfectly innocent 'â- freneh language, looked both dis- • ,n,i eoafouuded. •^ • Moc'i"^* ^^^^ ^^^ Marie that '"**1 not speak. French, upon which disastrous attempt to say Tin Enirlish, which was so total a (krald was unaware of w-hat i nan- langtiage she was cognizant, "'/oilier native tongue. to tell him," said Captain ^Mon cher Gerald, we will love ,â€" ail tlie daysâ€" and you will go i iiiii aull go ""•V France and be one bon mari to ma Ir suiil Marie immediately. irl- is what you call arrange â€" settler, " â- ('iptain-Mocquet. â- -: â-  cried Marie. And she settled ,iown on the cabin floor and held â-  j^jr.il in hers and rested her head :.i knee. Ir' verT strange, but at that moment â- ^,ii:lil have almost sworn that a voice i,nii.e" in his car, and then there ;, like ft gentle, fair spirit before his ttw the girl he had left home in the r^vern, on the shoj-es of Cornwall. lias "he not a sister and was that V love with which his h^art was to y-int in the pilgrimage of life i in a state of confusion and in- as to what he ought to say or do, jsiiiklen noise above attracted his at- jn. as well as that of Captain Mocquet li:c (laughter. " juise was the removal of the hatch- vverin" hy order of Captain Dolaa, c mi'lit eoine down and say what he IssavW.t'aptain Mocquet. Ikilan should see Marie and that he i nave in his power such a hostage for |.-iii:iissiou, both of herself and Captain :et, to whatever he might choose in lientitiule of his tyranny to dictate, was .•not to be thought of by Gerald, if it tie avoided, and he sprang to his feet, 1; Marie tenderly at the same time. ^iJe, hiile ' Oh, hide " he whisper- Tliat is Dolan wIm) is coming. " Iv Marie ' My Marie " cried Cap- ii"i.(juet. |5,iih I The berth He will not go in Hush Tell her to go there, sir. LiUiiot iinilerstand me; oh, tell her I" trie loiikeil irvm one to the other con- \,\. Imt a few words from her father let ' mprehend what was meant and she at ditkil past the little sliding panel, l3 shut in what was called the state pontioard the Rift. mU pushed a chair close to the panel, lien, keeping the hatchet close to him, taptain Mocquet, pale and nervous, iy the table, they both awaited the Hce iif the villian Dolan. Man did not descend at once to the Before doing so he becl^ned to Mar- lind while the baleful light was in his Jjgaiu he said Hartin, Martin, when you sent off the lof the Coquette in their boat â€" " IWell, captain " lion were not aware that in the dabin, in (me of the berths of the lugger, ir«".isâ€" :here was â€" " 1%. you don't mean to say, sir, that ptliad brought his little girl with him â- '"rage ?â- ' |i|j he usually " |Se. at limes she has no mother and he f. could bear to have her out of his irten, my dear Martin, you can tell our :!!;pniaTes that they left that daughter fr.'pet s in the cabin to go down with f-'Jttlcd lugger." IkkftheT:"' -.ea-.t of one, the act of all."' liiV" I'ts in law. my dear Martin, we are all F that alike. I might as well say I shuttle the Coquette, because I was |wuallv in her hold at work upon her You see, Martin, so youâ€" youâ€" \m Bowline, and the rest of you, you •-'â- 'i.' drowned Captain Mocquefs little ;ter. Ah:-' p~in Dolan, after making this consol- â- A. slowly descended into the cabin. f^iB passed his hand over his brow and r t^ve a vigorous pull at his hair, as he â-  bonder er now if thafs proper sea law. -; naif like it. I begin to feel rather -^rtable. ITl go and speak to Ben N took good care of himself as he P^o his cabin, for he did not feel- quite V~} attack might not be made upon faitierbyGeraldorby Captain Moc- â- "'rhy both. So he fluig the door *ide, and before he stepped in he perfect to give re- appreci- uoa one answered him, therefore ?p"ito make pm a shrinking If. «^aptain Mocquet " he said. "e-comeâ€" it is not worth while be- â„¢rit. Business is bu my Idea was to m^e » BrtitA « possible. I dare say you would â- " ae the same trick noi*' U y cW ' in JM"^y mattter of money, aaii lofrt, ^ell off to take much heed, «e loss of the Coquette and your he was an appearance, which ^sort of way, keeping tis crew on the deck. fCji goods. ^C^°^°'" said Mocquet, in a lnl^.^°'«*. "you are one robber, »»pj y Coquette was mine^my T°l?f- You had the Rift-th«t 1 min " °°* to«ch yours â€" ^you have ^(ft!""»^ be reasonable 1 lliiiW^ lii m 8** ^»fely off in their boat. ' [kl »attt twenty thoTuand 1xmumM "Ah " '•jOn one condition which isj that I re- store to you your little daughter, whom I took out of your cabin, and have in safety for yon whenever yoo choose me an order for the money in some which I can get it. " The cool effirontery of this speech, after what Mocquet and Gerald knew, was almost more than they could for the moment be- lieve and it was not until Bolan had peated the words that they fuUy ated them. " And, captain," said Mocquet, who spoke better English now under the impulse of his strong emotions than he had done be- fore, " and captain, si, si â€" that is if I shall not say aye to that proposition " Dolan shrugged his shoulders. " I cannot take upon myself to say exact- ly what I w'ill do, but you will never see your daughter again." "Ahr " You consent?" " Non â€" no " cried Mocquet, as he dealt the table a blow that made it start again. " You will " " Nonâ€" no " The baleful look glanced from the eyes of Dolan and he. muttered "Yes you will, and shall now leave you to consider it. Your money or your daughter, that is the question. " "Nonâ€" no!" " Oh, yes, it is. Gerald, you will do well, as you may be some time with this obstinate man, to let him know that I am very apt to be a man of my word. The day will soon wear away and I will come to you again. By the bye, your present quarters will be chajnged an^ I shall then trouble yon ta come on deck, fori shall want my cabin to myself. So see that you quickly decide. Captain Mocquet, for when on deck â€" when on deck, ha in a sudden passion, a moment of rage â€" and I am rather subject to them, if thwarted â€" I'll fling a man into the sea, where you will join your daughter as food for fishes. " " But you said," remarked Gerald, " that you had saved the captain's daughter. " "Eh?" " You said you had her safely and now you talk of her being food for fishes." " And how dared you put your oar in " roared Dolan, as he bent a ferocious grin upon Geral â- . " Look to yourself, boy â€" look to yourself I" " I will." " It is as well that you should for if I had not made up my mind to hang you. I [should perhaps drown you ha ha Look Ito yourself. I have your daughter safe enough, Mocquet â€" a pretty little creature, with large, fine eyes. I have her I have hef Her price is twenty thousand francs â€" twenty thousand, and when you are pre- pared to pay them, she is yours. Think of it â€" I leave you to think of it." " A sail " shouted a voice from the deck. Dolan hesitated a moment or two, as though he either had something to say him- self in addition, or thought Gerald or Cap- tain Mocquet would make him some reply but as they neither of them did, he, with a muttered imprecation, made his way to the deck. "What shall I do?" said Mocquet to Gerald. "What shall I do? He is one grand voleur, and he will go to come, and my Marie .will be discovered." " Hush Oh, look look !?' Through the little cabin window, by which Gerald had plunged into the sea to the rescue of Marie, they could see over the surface of the Channel, and at about a couple of miles distant, there was the schooner .3p]cay making all safl, in evident pursuit oiF the Rift. "We shall be saved yet," said Gerald. " Oh, yes we shall be saved yet. And then, and then; â€" " The boy clasped his hands over his eyes- and sobbed bitterly "Ma foi!" said Captain Mocquet. " What for you {what you call it ?) cry " " That man is my father;" " Non â€" no 1" "Yes! Oh, yes I I cannot deny .himâ€" I cannot defend him and I cannot deny him. Oh heaven, direct me I After all, that man is my father." " I shall not believe. One father and one son shall not be as one north pole (as you call him) and one south pole is far away from the one and the other â€" I mean the difference â€" comprenezvous â€" ^not like to like. It was not to be in the nature. Oh, non No, no â€" ten times no Bah " Monsieur Mocquet had settled this so satisfactorily to himself that he looked quite contented about it and gazed through thie cabin window at the advancing Spray with great interest. CHAPTER Vni. "What cutter ?» " The Sarahâ€" port of Plymouth" "Crane onboard, sir." r- " Aye, aye, sir I" Captain Dofam had had pnuHfee m tbia kind of thin^and having a certificate from the Trinity Honse that liad belonged to a Captain IHiampton, and the r^roUr, peters of a cutter, Sarah, of Plymouth, m reaSmees, he quickly got into the cutter'a boat, aod way by j" Martin and Ben Bowlineâ€" on both of whom I he knew he could depraid, aa regarded the 1 discretion of their acts-rpuUed him over the short distance toward the schooner. "Now, Martin," said Ddan, as they neared the schooner, " don' do things too shipshape " " All right," said Martin, as he purpose- ly slipped his oar from the rowlocks and put the boat out of its course. â-  " CMi, you lubbers " cried Mr. Royle. "I only wish I had you on board a king's ship for a spell. There, that will do. Don't run us down. ' Well, air, who are yon V Dolan stepped on to the deck of the schooner and touched his cap respectfuUy. " Any order sir " " Well, I don't know as to that. Have you your papers " "Yes, sir." " Hem Ah, hem Captain Bamabus Thompson, of the irort of Plymouth. I sup- pose it's all right â€" hem Ah the Sarah " " Yes, sir. " Well. Have you seen a cutter â€" about your size â€" mast raking out of all custom, with a yellow streak ben^th her bulwarks â€" and a very large foresail that she oughtn't to have at all in fact, she is rigged anyhow but sails as if the old 'un himself puffed her along?" "Yes, sir." "Oh!* you have?" ' "Yes, sir. Such a cutter tried to over- haul us, but we got out of her way," or else she gave it up ai^ went off due west about an hour ago." "Due west! We ought to see her. " "So you ought, sir; and there is a sail right hull down that looks like a gull's wing on the water that I should say was the very cutter." "Itmavbe. Thank you." " You §re welcome, sir. Can I be of any use â€" I am going into Falmouth " "No â€" yet stay a moment â€" you can re- port to Sir Thomas Clifford, the port admir- al^-that the Spray is off and 6n, looking out for the Rift, and hopes to bring her in soon." " Yes, sir I hope you may." " Good-day, Mr. Thompson." "Good-day, sir." As cool and calm and collected as it was possible for any human being to be, Dolan got over the side of the schooner and into his boat, and Martin and Bowline pushed off and dipped their oars into the water with long, vigorous strokes. It was at this mo- ment that Mr. Green strolled up from the state-cabin â€" where the Honorable Charles Minto Grey was, as usual, enjoying his meerschaum- â€" and going to the side next the Rift, he said " What is all this about, Mr. Royle?" " Only been trying to get some informa- tion from a stupid captain of a cutter yon- der. The Sarah." " The what " " The Sarah," " But she is not the Sarah." " Oh, yes, sir. I saw her papers and her name is on her stem. Yon will see, sir." " Wellj it looks to me like ' Rocket, South Shields.'" Mr. Royle took up his glass and looked, when to his eyes a very curious phenomen- on, in regard to the name of the cutter, pn-sented itself. There was a strip of something â€" ^wood or leather, he could not make out which â€" or it might be canvas, flapping about just- under the carved wood- work at the stern of the cutter and as this something flapped in one direction, there was on one side of it the name " Sarah, Ply- mouth," and on the other, " Rocket, South Shields." " What do you make of it " said Mr. Green. "Idoo'tlikeitatall." " It'q odd " •" Very. Holloa " " \Viiat now, Mr. Royle " "Some one is fluttering ar handkerchief from her cabin winddw. Why, good gra- THE KEVENITB CUTTER TELLS. MATCIM A SHOT THAT The schoonla' on emerging from the fog, had come at once in sight of the Rift, but the alteration in the trim and general apifeaMnciB orthe cutter completely deceiv- ed l^M^aii^f master of thie Spray, jrho, in the Bift, now saw uqtbilg hnt a strange ^^fa a-^ fiom" which he might poasit^ get P^er It. Business is buainessr^eu ;^^«'nif^rtaBtidii ctoncentfA^ 1^ 8iua§^r. â€" " ^^*-^^^^^it i«a«F«M*"*** ^^^'"Sh the toteyio4ataBiitlie Syny towavd the ' d(ttirt;,i«i in $iih • io**B dm ran all uE^r^m^ in th^'ifew 9 heliagintercepted by stnAe (^t^iNQilit veasd fiiat mij^t lie be- tiAnnOT »ndthe shiwe. ,^ What Dolan now wanted was to shake off the Spray bytoesM, and by aending her on somefitbeiaekin fancied pursoit of the Rift. When,-th«rfH«,-the %ray got witiun at tl^ee-qnartera of a mile of the Rift cious " Whiit no^vr' • "She is altering the" rake of her mast, it seems to me, and setting mote canvas. Un- less I am a Dtatehmon,. I ^lonld say that I can just see the comer of the muzzle of a gun on her deck Half hidden by'some mat- ting and a tarpaillin. I don't like the Sarah, of Plymouth.' " Nor IT. 'Wta.t if, aftjet* all, she^ould turn out to be the Rift?" " By thcHoly, sir, it may be I Cutter, ahoy Hilloa 1 Cutter, ahoy 1 Hilloa Come back, sirâ€" you Captain Thempson â€" we want to speak to you." Dolan had got more than two-thirds of the way to the cutter when this new hail came upon his ears, and he glanced back at the Spray as if irresolute in regard to what he should do. Both Martin and Ben Bow- line saw that look oi Dolan's and the latter said i^t once "No â€" no. It won't do. There is some- thing amiss." "Surely not." Martin ceased rowing for an instant and gazed earnestly at the schooner. Then he said quietly " (Hvewsyt: Bern â€" ^gw« iray.* We aie in for it now. Give way, or all^ia lost I" A shrill whistle from the deck of the gov- ernment schooner caitiie over the 'aar£^ .|i^ the sea and then tiiena irafl a sMadi in^i^' water as her boat was afloat and half a dox en of her cregrmiraafVllio it. i i, "Now, Beni*^^ceMartinâ€" '^Imn a wai " ' Hie oars s^adied in the irater, and in a few seconds DoLuiJUid^Bei) BovUne -and Martin wer« ^2^^^ %L?^ 9't4'^4 '^tk the boat propetfytocD ,t oii^lj^jK v4^| B^ been slowly beatin^atbont the spot, tak 1 Ji^jji â-  HilTl '"" I ' M^.t^ j,i-^ x„i-r .f ^^j^^ ^-S 1 jaa» Miihi Had tiien the sailing master of the Spray and not thn nlighlwli dtihif prH tafa flaoa '^filiBtood ao much oa the digrdty of a kings^a in her-dKuring herhe eU to -tiw. ^J3l ^iHiadnMtatboatai hoard the^ Baft, 1 H^er* waanot mwHtmaietftai ^oSb akarper «ye« than erannum m^t '13Uaii, for well Jwkaefiiitfait ' shouted Martiii. " Down That win do. Here she Channel that in a stem chaae would h^m IfttBHiH^KHfrdautiibiaf craipetiBg wiHtlie Rift. 1. li.-fo ' Tvt The ^cajf waa quite far enough c to Igive his Xfa^el all the.4twt sh^ wanted, and |he knew thKt ' in the Ifrst'ihre miles he 'dionld be able* to -Ab^ tile gOv et airi ttit schooner how futile atpnwuit would be. "Now work on?" he cried. "Show titbni a hit bf Wit qnalitr-^{ciik I donH like the lo^B of Hungs on the deck of the Sjiajf at all.** The' boat tlmt had been launched from the sehooiler had not got above a dozen of' its own lengths from the Spray when she was recalled and tira mm rated with a dis- satisfied look Qn their, oanh-for English sailors have a notibh'that they can board and take anything that swiins and it is by no means a very extravagant one, consider- ing what has been done m that way under a Nelaon and ft Cochrane. " LfDok out with the helm comes " A gun had been hastily prepared m board of the Spray and even as Martin spoke, the reporr followed the flash, and there was a sharp whistle of the shot passing close to the weather-bow of the Rift. "Very good," said Martin. " The fellow now knows what he is about. That will do, I think." This last observation of Martin's arose from liis observation of a very peculiar shaped sail, which had been â€" on tiie moment that speed became a prominent object in the proceedings of the Rift â€" bent to her cordage and mast. It was probably such a sail as cutter never carried before but it had â€" or rather the secret of its shape and use â€" been bequeathed to Dolan by an old buccaneer who had seen it used in the South Seas, and found how wonderfully effective it was, just on a wind. The cutter made one dipping sort of mo- tion, as though it had an intention, like a duck in diving, of gathering the sea over its decks, and then it flew, rather than sail- ed, on its course, north by west. AU further disguise was now useless, so far as the fact 6f the cutter finding it incon- venient to be overhauled by the government vessel â€" although those on board the schooner could, after all, only have a suspicion that it was the Rift they had in chase. Mr. Royle looked fearfully savage at the recollection that he had actually had the captain of the cutter in his hands and had let him go again. With compressed lips and uttering low, growling expletives, such as are not usually-addressed to polite ears â€" he watched the Rift as it sped its way over the sea. But if a stem chase be a long chase for it is one, likewise, that keeps the game long in view. The cutter might sail five feet to the schooner's three, but that only took it at the rate of two feet from the schooner at the given period of time and now the Spray was crowded with all the canvas that could be put upon her, until she was in such a situation that had she been in a more treacherous sea than the English Channel, where sudden squalls, typhoons or cyclones might abound, but little chance of safety would have been left her. As it was, she made good speed. ' " It won't do, Mr. Green," said Royle " it won't do. She'll get away." " Cripple her. It is the only chance." " We will try it. Double charjge the long carronade, you lubbers, and ram weu home! We will hit her or burst, I take it Clear away there Now let me get to it " Ik Royle flung himself at len^h by the breach of the gun and carefully sight^ the chase. As the Rift rose and fell on the seas she was cutting her way through, he watched until the rise and fall of the Spray was*^ coincident with that of the cutter and then, rolling over from the position he had assumed in sighting the gun, he cried "Fire!" Bang went the doubly charged carron- ade and a circle of light blue smoke flew upward, hanging fantestically ' about the sails of the vessel. A gust of the rather fitful breeze that had got up within the last half hour cleared the vapor from before the gan and then Mr, Royle uttered a loud cheer of exultation. "Hitâ€" hit!" he cried. "She's hit! Ready, my lads, to give it him again " Mr. Green looked earnestly at the Rift through a glass, and that there was' confusion on her deck was sufiBciently evident â€" for there lay a heap of white canvas and she visibly altered her course a point or two to the north. The fact was that the shot f rcmi the Spray had doiie the only mischief the Rift had to dread, and that was to bring down some of her gear. For the tinie the new and ex- traordinary sail thiEit ha^ given such speed to the smuggling vessel- had been rendered useless, it ^ving been brought, down by the gun, and that was the white object that Mr. Green saw encumbering her deck. The speed of the Rift was materially checked -and ail was hope and excitement on board, the Spray, that the cutter might, in fact, be the very vessel they were commis- sioned to destroy or capture, and that they were in a fair way of being alongside of her in the course of half an hour. "Now, again " shouted Mr. Royle. And the carronade was once more pointed and fired. But this time the luck was on the ride of the Rift, for the all flew harm- lessly past herâ€" certaiidy in rather too close proximity to tiie man at ib» wheel to be pleasant to him, but as Martin remarked, " A miss is as swod as a mile,, so that^a all right" Bat tiie damage was real^ very aerioos on hoard the Rift, aad Ben Bowline kxdud Captiun Dqlan in the face jm he aud, in hit usDid nnamiable manner* aa re^gards the Quality of his voice r nuiree ra a'uu u Hdhe for,' an^ thondi'lriB can heat him in plun aailkig, he wilTsis^t 'j'xi^ft hi to shore." °'CSntdBBolaataok a-loog iM^abont loiaaa^ timn, in a .inppMagad voice, he iaid: •"Otaehoor inorr dayfirfit.'^- Viniat'aaU.sv." n ".Kafoqnr ken, withaU apeod for a few buIm' fiartoer. How is she as tp Mm^eh " A gfamebat liiiB nkeol tl^inait let Dolan' 'tiuKbh* mi^fc with «AetfM^tMme of dead vm^Jonoj^ apd 1^^ pafi »c- wMM, ao uustiia ea^lffr ,ymt aoon Mrlew poallwu' ' tiit 9KSSt}fg, taoA r MMtfate kng wtaiaaaiam .ioohr gftpg^wkju^man^'AK^^ to 1 IP jiao Bgg Tag t ahooted in aJond vmofi .i " Aib, here, jnea ofiii^ftM^ here, I .. That this portended some important com- munication 1^ them the^en well knew, and they^)Mett.^Qav|;ykottt t|^fi^l4^ hatch- -; *OHt COKTISCED.) The Trae Home. tibuehome ah^aJd be as beantiful a9,d 'j^EMnnf'w^n pb«61e to make' ^ome i u the place for rest and pure enjoyment. It ib the refuge from care, trouble, and all the tumults and tunasila of life. It is the one spot where the heart' purwt affections gamer tiiemsehres, and aeek tiien' chosen restlM-plaoe. It is the woman's Snt duty to nu£e this dwelling^ilace, over which she is the mother-queen, as cheoy, cozy, and lovelv as she can. The first requisite for this desired consummatian is that she her- self be happy, hopeful, pleasant, and con- tentedly agresable. To heccnne this she must live hygienicaUy, she must eat proper food, wear cbmfortable clotiies, and not be oppressed by too many cares and burdens. It she is her own housekeeper, she should study to do her work on the most simple and easy plan, cook but a few dishes at a time, and have each as perfect in itself as pos- sible. Woman has no more important duty than that of making home pleasant. Neatness and cleanliness are indi^ensable to a cheery, coey-looking itoom. A plain room, plainly furnished and scrupulously clean, is fsu* more bright and beautiful than a more pretentious one richly adorned with costly furniture that is soiled, mutilated, and always in dis- order. A few thrifty, nicely kept flowering plants and trailing vines are one of the most enlivening adjuncts to a living-room, and a sheltered, sunny window is far better for them, in moderately cool weather, than the over-heated and often dusty inside position, and they are just as easily seen also. Should there be unsightly objects in the room or recesses that contain hecessafy ad- juncts to comfort and convenience, a bright chintz curtain will screeu them from view, and will of itself make a pleasant resting- place for the eye. Should a bit of plaster- ing fall from the wall, a piece of white mus- lin neatly pasted over the place will hide the defect and save all further scaling off and droppings, of litter. In a thousand ways one can veil the ugly and add to the beauti-. ful, until the humblest little home may be- come a very bower of pleasantness and cheerftdness. The love of the beautiful needs the foster- ing care of every one who would make life pleasant and happy. Whoever creates a a lovely picture, whether on canvas, in a poem, or on the broad broWn bosom of mother earth, or in a cozy, cheerful home, adds to the .world's priceless treasure, and does something toward elevating, refining, and happifying the race. rALLFuir. Sound cdnclusionâ€" A dying echo. Carpenters generally talk plane. A hotel is known by the company it keeps. A woman's beauty is most perfect when it is backed by intelligence. A newspaper bustle is just the thing. When an old maid gets married the groom should ring the chestnut belL There's no joke in marrying an old maid. A coal-stove is a cast-iron paradox. It won't' bum unless you put it up, and then it won't burn unless you shake it down. When the husband slips in a front win- dow and the other fellow slips out a rear window, which is the most proficient slip- per Hotel Proprietor â€" " We don't allow any games.of chance here." Gambler â€" "This isn't.a game of chance. My friend here has no chance." " My daughter," exclaimed a fashionable mother, "is innocence itself. You can't say anything in her presence that will make her blush." According to Professor Procter, "the sun is 1,200,000 times as large as the earth." They must have ^awfm time hunt- ing for the north pole up there. The Phrenological Journal says: "In choosing a wife, be governed by her chin." A man is apt to be governed by the same thing after he gets a wife. Even pious souls are sometimes tempted to lapse into the waQton spirit of the Uttle maiden who prayed " Please, Mr. Goid, I'm tired o' bein' made good â€" won't you kill pa " Wife â€" " What do you suppose is therea-. sou there are no marriages in heaven " Husband â€" "You stupid goQse It is to oet the fact that there is no heaven in marriage." It was pretty nearly half -past eleven o'clock when He began to sing " How can I leave Thee " to his best girl. Pretty soon her papa came down stairs and he fotmd out how easy it was. " So the missus is to be married, eh " said the gardener to the cook. " Yis and in illigant stoyle, too. She's goin' for to have a dhress thray yarruds long, and four pall-bearers to kerry IIl" When the Shower Had Faised By. Pat was one day latdy going along a street, when it came oh a vcunr heavy shower at nin. To keep his coat dry he entered tiie doorway of a stationer's uop, but was inmodiatelypulled up by the shefkeeper asking " What's your boaiaeM thijii my man? Patâ€"" Och, thm, I wasn't wiiOunff to dis- torb yis, bat now that I've sot yer i^ntion, I was waatiiMtaMiig oattaitiM Onld Arm Chair.'" Shopkeeperâ€" " Oh, vea here it is." Patâ€" "Thin I would like ' Annie Laurie. ' " ' Hiopkaeperâ€" " Just at hand hexe, sir." V*^" Thin ' Tha Lm* Roaaof Sdaaner,' and that wiB do." !the shower havins abated, Pat Was mak- ing for thedbor, inieii he n^ reminded that ha had kit: his aanga and that the waa t^rea ahillii^pb:- .-' r"9^. *hin,iMt wtt^oojyi arm efaw' in that eanar, cuid Amu» I«aane in it, art irtibk tte lilt roaTitf'AqBmer hi her hn ai ' and If «fa|i'«H9'(btft Uiauld Weary, tbat^Qoiaald aoi| ,^ tP aQiMjB hiar." ^Jiltaaby a n I,: I â-  i i M ' -â-  iL H. 11 'i !l t A â-  ' II â- ^â- | lit â-  • I •4'IW

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