Ontario Community Newspapers

Markdale Standard (Markdale, Ont.1880), 1 Oct 1885, p. 7

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 JT jiJB» ssna. '^tSm ondW BweU pirpl^ â- Â«â€¢!â- â€¢*â-ºâ€¢ ^id malt come and go, â- I »» " She witi 9P0' les •"'» Siii.t"'2 »^ ho glens wh«re gr ?l^mvB^rth»'8face: m1*'"^^„„ "c.rUireDtly press. „^»t^th,fo_a^ness place. 'liUfpr;!,' i?fclB[ilTMGIiDT. ,jf i»:A'5' 0/ "The Flowek c GiBL,' 0. VELT UI"S^ LtSHCRST, ^^aAPlER V.-(Co-TisuED.) â-  k«1 on with dry eyes, but ever- Kt'JaadagonyTn her heart. She •*^ Ttirelv before th« doctor had '.t^ri Sat hU verdict would be; H the head gently b ick on the ih lai fallible " |,jti!» terrible afld uttered the 'dead" it was no anrprias to i.hiiioip"""" Tiir " D.ictw Seymour hree stood g»ziog down numotiona upon the handsome ^ffy"f"t stiffening in the icy sndd-n of life, :tothd.ltHem. " Fearfully I ,^i cut off in the very prime L'Jth K'h briUiant prospects before mm! F,C Braithwaite it wiU be .a sad fi^ â- ' -1 â€" -«• o^o great for Miss wonld be [or her and almost as grea' Ljn,: smith, I think it as f^^oato go to the Hail as quickly luidaiktoseethe butler; he wiU -Jbei^ hoif to break the news. Perhaps Hid be as well for you to say that the fl^iida gerously hurt; they will be Prepared to hear the truth, which will IboTOSoon enough. I will remain here liOT watch in the meantime. .iWrtedon his errand somewhat re- utlr he wished the Doctor had under- tithimBelf.aiJdleft him free to talk iOjIy. Hs had something he wished ialirlytoiay to her, and he might jhive laoh an opportunity. He dared Ltever do otherwise than obey the oodB be had received, and therefore Intoa his mission without delay. llriieahewasout of sight. Djctor Sey- rfflrned to Dolly and laid his hand gen- Ijilierwin. f You can do no good here, my child This Ifeilovis beyond all eaithly care and tletttion, an! yon must think of your- Ijoif, Take my advice and retam home ili:ely before any one arrives from the Yoar presenee here would only give remark! and surmises, which are bast 8, your father doubtless be growing anxious at your absence ibone at this late hour." hUyfUher"ahA repeated, raising one d to her forehead in a confused manner |!k« Dxtor sar again that curious look eyes, while a slight shiver passed i her frame. " Tou are right," she i'a a more natural tone "he will be I, ud since, as you say, I can do no i, I will go no wâ€" only â€" only " And I, before Djctor Seymour could inter- I, or wu even aware of, her intention, ly Sang herselr nptn her knees and Wer ng the dead man's hand with pas- Vie kiiaea. The next moment she had B to her feet, and,' throwing back her liiitli J gesture of defiance, she exclaim- l^sdly, '-They say he would have mar- i'linllainwaring but he loved me â€" i me-Dolly Jirvia, the blacksmith's "titer ' iMBietarned, and, without one bick- wjljiic^, moved i-apidly away. [Jeii, well, lo uc sure 1" muttered the ^y Bo:tor, rubbing hu hands slowly â- " ' md staring after the retreating a little blankly. " Its a strange ri: The gossips were right, after all." «Uiiiig ao grsaip himself, and diScreet • n his pTofession ua Jly are, the tolaDj;* r;i.ver divu'ged to a single "'M! had take ' place after Joe's de- ic, Dolly 8?ed on her way. At F=^ Tilked ijaioklv, her feet keeping »»uht!ietuaralio'f her thoughts, but W) the high nervous tension began *«.Ae exjitsnunt which had borne [P -a m-asure died away, and her J Sg3d wearily. A sort of stupor b«' r*««? over her,- the ahadop^s of the' l/^taiedtheingelvesintofantasticshapes, ji! i"*^^"" distorted fancy like so ^mju dancing round her and gloating "wdered whether her father had "«. whether he would be l»limk """""" uowouia oe very an fiaJ?^"8'Tied where and with whom Iscsivl?" !^"^t-er even he would refuse lno'a •I"""'" house ag!in. Well, it l»u^7ry~i»"liing signitied, now that ' lit 1, .^" â-  '^^^ 'io. i' conid not 5!^ "" **'^^=g together, he I «,„""'« tow much he loved her. iuZ^ struck him from behind. • "*^" 80 sadden, the auattlt and â-¼oioe-HftrT^ jott t. she had h(Um Mmbbuioeto ^^^ Oh, no, no, a tkosswd t^oL lover down most hmy Imoi mZi^!!^^ ear whmmtiie yonng coet faJTbaaTuw ^««.of gettiBg convicted. Sd wMtediorw opportonity to avebae ^. •oU; md yet why had she-DolS%aldit Ah, why, faide«i? What motive conld have influenced her to make her endeavou to shield one whom she wonld natarallv 5!!rt«^«1.^^' " deoounce die could not tell. She was only oonacions of a strange confosioi of ideas, a diead of aha knew not what. When at last she reached home, shestood for a moment half hesitating before she tim- ^^l}^**^^^ ^^ " *»"«* on the door. A brief pause, and then there was a sound of approaching footsteps, the bolts were drawn slowly baoV, and a vo»ce likeâ€" yet so unlikeâ€" her father's asked hoarsely, •« Who is there?" • It is I, father-Dolly. D m't you know me ' the girl said tremulously as the door was opened cautiously, and she crossed the threshold. Adam drew the bolts again and followed Dolly into the kitchen. As the light fell up- on him the girl uttered a little cry of alarm^ Could that old, worn, hagijard-Iookiog man be her father, the jovial blacksmith Surely he never before had that stoop in his should- ers, and his eyesâ€" oh, why did they regard her so coldly, so strangely Had she sinned so deep'y as to have alienated Ids uSeotion end wrought this terrible change in him within a few short hours " Well, girl, what have you to say " Adam questioned sharply. "Oh, father, father," Dolly cried, stretch- ing out both hands towards him, and fUliog upon her knees before him, "don't Icok at me like thatâ€" it will kill me I I have done wrong I should have trusted you and told yon all but, oh, if I have sinned, I hive been bitterly punished 1" "How -how?" asked Adam huskily: and the girl shivered at the sound of that strained unnatural voice. "He is dead " the girl answered briefly, wic'i something like a wail. " Dead " Had Adam spoken, or was it a groan? Dolly raised her head and glanced fearful- ly up at him. He was standing with arms crossed on his brawny chest, his eyes staring straight before himâ€" uncoiuiicoua even of her presence. " Father ' the girl repeated in frighten- ed tones and then her glance fell upon his shirt-front and travelled down to the wrist- banda. What were those dark red spota be- sprinkled here and there Dolly's eyes grew dark and distended, whilst they looked like those of some hunted wild animal. "Fa- ther 1" she gasped, staggering to her feet and taking a stop bsMskwards. " Speak 1 What is tms, horrrible thing It â€" it is not true Great Heaven â€" oh, eay it is not true I was wrongâ€" when I suspected â€" ah, toll me that I am going mad 1" Then Adeun Jairis's strained gaze reltuced and his ey^s, filled with a strange regret and hopdes-ness^met those of his d mghter stead- ily, as he answered slowly imd distinctly â€" " Yon are not goin^ mad, Dolly but I was mad when, in a ht of ungovernable pas- sion, I struck down the man who had dared to wrong my danghtor. ** Soarcely had the words left his lips when, with a cry that rang in Adam s ears until the day of his death, DjUj fell forward senseless at his feet. r^y «ruggle that S»»Unned that followed. She .n^i '^® hskd, after, »ii»trt "•' '"' ^^' face in her ^^Tsk "Slit not witness that terri- Mtkifflw, *u^ " " "« ^««P breath- Jto^ik "iii'tered improcation% '"^l,. 1!°'^^ °f retreating foot- »Wr? ^*" ^*8 silence -a silence ' â-  • "• «»g that she was fain to look •nftli.'"" ^?^ *^*° t^ia* no trace re- fS^J'^^***°*'-»nly the grass •ft«XT *1* ^^^ brambles broken â- Â«b thrJ°°Sht close-great Heaven i« Mge of those huge boulders 'Wir'^*^'***«'^y some force [i*"ithsLl*" ""' «lie^»d crept to "*Jy«ng there still and mo- **»!l,!!i?"^* " lonely walk iha 'W, ,.'!!"«. Thatothar mtirdeterâ€" who CHAPTER VI. Sir Ralph and Lady Brafthwaite were en- tertaining ajarge circle c ' o ests at the Hall. There were some eld frienas of the Baronet, and several young men, his sons' friends, for this was the eve of the twelfth of Au- gust, and the sportsmen were looking for- ward to having a fine time of it on the York- shire moors. But the lords of creation were not to have it all their own way. A number of ladtes had been invited to share their host's hospi- tality, and to keep Lady BraithwA'te and Miiis Maiawaring in countenance, as the lat- ter langamgly protested. It had been decided that there should be dancing every evening â€" not a regular ball, but just a homely aflfair â€" that form of amuse- ment being the most in favour with the young people whilst their elders repaired to the smoking-room, or sought refuge in the smaller drawin ^-room, where cwd tables were set out, for Sir Ralph had a great par- tiality for whist. Garaldine Mainwarlng was in her own room she had been lying down to refresh herself for the coming festivities. Dinner had been delayed half an hour in deference to the expected arrival of more visitors. The first dressing-bell had not yet rung when a knock sounded at MissMainwaring|s door and, in answer to that young lady's " Eu'rez." her maid Celeste came in Geraldine was wearing a pale primrose tea gown. In which she had appeared during the afternoon, and which suited her style of bea'Jty to perfection she had loosened her hair, whioh fell in rich luxuriance below her waist There was a happy light in her dark eyes, although her thonghto were evi- dently wandering, or she must have notice! the unusual perturbation of the Frenchwo- man's manner. But Cele -to needed no encouragement to speak, for hardly had she crossed the thres- hold when she lifted both her hands and shook her|head ina way that was exceedingly *^"*BS,^ademolseUe, this is terrible, neat eepaarahe cried. "Oh, what unhapi^- noMâ€" the beau monsUurâ€"l can hardly be- lieve it I" " BeUeve wh»t?" G«raldine asked sharp ly, leaenting the maid's freedom « "JP??*^ •• ThenlnademoiseUe has not heard I wn the first bring the news w «! I" " Whkt do y«i msMil TeU me .q«c"y I Geraldine cried, a â- *«»8f Jj" "^JlSd Bkit it seemed tiurt Oek^ Mther could nofor would not .p»k l»*dny. «« »»^ '^* srmng her hands, exdaimingâ€" sifteat^/ Mfl«dy.ltfc*o *di^_^j Hm Oeral .. D you nie«i Oapt»iiBMWwj|tt» I W fixed i««ai«*r^iTL^Z£' ys t t gnp. •â-  kvonr to I. r if 'Si'Sir*"!^ " «!• y«« -died JJI^^th. bottom of. «» d*neiS pJJS A low nuMB 1irika from Gsnldiae'a wU^ " Murdered Great Heaven, ft b imnoa. â- ibkl There must hnrnmiTi^T^ l«te; It if ridicniona. Hany-citain Braithwaite could have nTSinifarwho gouldwanttoharmhim!- Shespokeiap- idly, tiy 1,^, a. it were, to coovicM herself '^,^^'^*^olCekmU,'M .tory. yetiUtte wMe eetog vgudy that it^ b. W Crdiate's ill concealed eagerness, yet evi dwt tinu^y to say more, "jou know some- thing furtherâ€" yon have not told me all '" • Pardon, raUady, no but it k cml^ a CTnardâ€" gossip perhapa. J would ratlier not *ay mademosieUe will hear it aotm eaoogh." "I mskton knowing nowâ€" at once," Ger- aldine cned, spnnglog forward and chitoh- ing Celeste's arm in a vice-like though she feared she wonld endc escape. Themaidgavealittie scraam of alarm, and that momeirthearttly wished shehadleft her news to be told by other Ups tiian her own. It was too late however to draw back, she knew her mistress's character too well not to becertab that nothing but the whole truth would aatirfy her now. " TeU me, do you hear ' MssMafaiwar- faig repeated, giving her a shake that made her teeth chattor, partly from fright and partly from the suddenness of the assault. "I -Iâ€" they say that Captahi Braith- waite was pushed over the precifdoe by a girl," Celesce jerked out, "the daughter of a smith who is black. She is very pretty, on dit, and mormeur le CapUaine nsisd noma times to talk to her." Tne woman having found her tongue, went on glibly enough now. "And then it Is supposedâ€" for of course no one can tell for certainâ€" that she had heard monsieur was going to be married and was jealous." At the last word Miss Mainwaring releas- ed C.leste as suddenly as she had seized her. " Th-reâ€" that wiU do " she said, with a harsh laugh, that sounded strange in the circumstances. "I shall not need your services. Celeste so you may go. No"â€" as the girl was about to speakâ€"" I should prefer to be alone." So the maid had no alternative but to obey, though she glanced a little dubiously at her young mistress aa she turned to leave the room. " Majoi, but she shows a strange sang- froid ' Celesto muttered, as she traversed the corridor. " One would hardly believe that she hasjost received the news of her lover's death. And the other girl Ah, I can understand that If he were perfide, what else could she do " The girl shrugged her shoulders, and her black eyes flashed, as if in sympathy with that "other girl." Meanwhile, Miss Mainwaring, left to her- self, dropped no her knees, and stretohing out her arms on the chintz-covered couch, bowed her head upon them in the very acme of despair. It never occurred to her for one moment to doubt thetruth of Celeste's statement. Her cousin was dead. She accepted the fact un- questionlngly but no tears came to relieve her tortured heart. She was stunned, par- alysed, as it were but it was not even Har- ry Brsithwalto's tragiciJ fate that caused that Intolerable anguish. At that moment she felt she could have bom to lose him, had she know he had boon true to her. It was the fact of his having been tiie contrary that was the greatest blow of all. That he was dead seemed to her but a small afiaIr,sinSe he had not loved her -nay, even in her bitter dpspair and degradation, she was almost glad that it was soâ€" glad that he wonld never belong to another wo- man, since she had lost him. It wss a poor satisfaction, after all, and it brought but temporary comfort. The little ormolu clock on the mantelpiece chimed the hour and stfll Geraldine crouched beside the condi, her dark unbound hair falling In wild disorder around her great dark rims encir- cled her eyes, her hands were dry and fever- ish, but still she had not wept. Presently there was a knock at the door. It was not like Celeste's brisk little tap; and, as if in a dream, Geraldine slowly rose and opened it. On the threshold stood Lady Braithwaite white and trembling, with traces of exces- sive gri^ on her pale face and a general air of abandonment to sorrow. " Forgive me, my dear, I could not come before,* she said, entering at once, and cl«sing IM door softly behind her. " You have heard ^â€"" " I know all," Geraldine answered, in a cold hard voice, so strangely unlike her own that Lady Braithwaite glanced at her ner- voosly and shivered. "Whotoldyou?" "Celesto." After that brief question and answer there fell a silence upon the two women which neither of them seemed inclined to brei^. "You will fwgi^e himâ€" oh, Gersloune, you must forgive him " cried the elder lady at last, looking up with eyes swim- ming with tears "I know you are j adging him harshly. You said you knew all but that is not' possibleâ€" nobody knows Yet there may be, tiiere must be some explana- tion for his interview with that wretched girt 1 ' •« No d-ubt he had deceived her, asâ€" as he did me," Miss Mainwaring said tnttorly. with no'softsniiw of her voice, bnt with the hard lines rofnd her month .growing atiU "You are otucIâ€" cruel and unjust!" cried Lady Braithwaite, bursting into a fit of pas- aionate weei^ng. " Oh, my boy, my bon- nie boy " TP A Inc 5iKT!r«U 3aj If tke s^t of her aonf s grief nuxvad hsr, Ocraldiae made no sign. A stotoe of Parian marble ooald no* have besn more diill and oahn and â- wtJonleai. She stood witii har hands looealy dsa|ied in front of hsr, gamg â- teadito^ aad nnseiingly bef ore hsr. l«dy BnithMta'a fit of weeping andad at Iwt- iadsed. tt aoMMd aa if tta fooBt of bar tsax* ^^MKeoteaatad. Shalaybaek inhsrehair BOW io^Jt u motiodteas as Garal^w T ' • Wliara kato ttaf tikan Bioa r* ••X^thalOirsij, h||Rimor«kiikUy! « Yai I laved him OBoa." «ki gill npaat- adalowly. " °â€" lirni ags that aiisms imTl laMdeaharoof hlB^ I bellavai kirn an- 0Blfid^ traakaadnaUa.adiivalfaiNgaBtla- aiM, generaosjutd brava-I battavad him all this and anoli moieâ€" until an koor Mac Now that my idal liaa fallen fnm tta pad- aatal on a^iek I raiaad it, I oaa aaa of what vary ordinary day it waa nnasnnasil An yonanrprisadtttatlamdIaappaintBdt No, •natBeasia; it is beoaoM I lovad yoar aosi aodaadytkatloamotfiadltfa n^ koaxt to forgive hia^â€".** " Stop, stop " broke in Lady BraiAwaite, patting lier hands up to to lier ears. "Ifâ€" u he has wronged yon, remember he is dead 1" ' " Do not tot us talk ahoat it any mon." Geraldine said, with a weacy gesture. "He was your son, and " "And your lover," intermpted Lady Braithwaito agiJn. " S y rather Dolly Jarvis'a," Miss Main- waring rejoined, with a dangerous fliah in her dark eyes. .Lady Bi^thwaito rose from ber chair. Her face looked drawn and ksfoiard the shock Ittd sged har terrioly. Geraldfaie, glancing at her for tiie first time, noticed the change, and a sudden revuUon of feel- ing cime over her. Her'own trouble was great enough, but ,^hardly so great aa ^t of tiie mother who had 'seen her best loved â-  m struck down by a murderous hand wbito yet in the very prime of manhood and strength. Miss Mainwaring moved a step or two forward, and, as her aunt reached the door; she bent forward and kissed her gently. " I am grieved for you, dear aunt," she said softiy. "In thinking of my own wounds, I have overlooked yours. Forgive me if I have s.emed harsh and unf«=eling." L vly Braithwaite only replied itj a pres- sure of the hand, and tne next moment Ger- aldine was left alone once more. All througb the hours of that memorable night the gl fought with her sorrow. Ce- leste came again to ask whether she could do anything for her young lady, but for the second timejiwas summarily dhonissed. When ail was still, m the small hours of the morning, a tall pale figure enveloped In a loose oashmere robe came slowly down the broad oak staircase. In one hand Geraldine carried a shaded lamp, with the other she held up her trailing skirts. Now and sgain she paused and glanced anxiously around, but at length she reached her goal With fintcers thai; trembled a little, she unfasten- ed the library door and entered. In tne centre of the room, on a hastily improvised bier, the outlines of a figure coqld be clearly defined beneath the white covering. Half a dozen wax candles were sending a pale gleim across the chamber, making the shadows in the comers appear more deep by contrast. Geraldine h d closed the door softiy be- hind her, and, now setting down the lamp she slowly drew near that central object. Her hands were clasped tightiy on her bo- som, whioh was heaving tomultuously, her breath came in thick gaspiog sobs, her eyes were fixed and strains" whilst her face in its ghastly pallor was almost as death-like as those other emotionless fea- tures upon which she was presentiy gazing. How calm and peaceful he looked I There was one ugly wound on the left temple, otherwise the face itself was not disfigured, though the hair was in one place elotted with blood, and the left hand was terribly crushed. Death, even inthat cruel form, had not robbed Harry Braithwaite of his good looks he had been considered one of the handsomest men in the county The fidr locks still clustered round his broad white brow but there was a strange expression on his faceâ€" a litUe tender smile was frozen on his lips which the half-open eyes belied in their startled appearance. It seemed almost impossible to believe^ that he was really dead. Only a few hours ago he had ridden forth at Geraldine's side in all the abandonment of youth and good health. How gaily he had laughed and talked, how proud she had been of her handr some lover 1 And now â€" now, at the sight of his inanimate form, a wave of tender mem- ory began to stir the girl's heart. In his presence she forgot all his failings, even that he had been untrue to her she rnnenbered him only at his beat, she recalled the time- when they were children together, and, la- ter, when he had been her boyish slave and admirer â€" ay, even the happy days they had passed in each other's society up to a few hours ago. Dolly Jarvis slipped from her memory altogetiier, or was banished as a hideous nightmare. And, so living over again the past, as she stood there, all Geraldine's cold, proud re- serve gave way, the ice that had b( en en- circling her heart melted siidddenly and her bitter resentment was replaced by the old tender feeling. In an agony of remorse and repentance, Sie flung herself upon her knees beside her cousin's still form and, taking his cold hand in h'^r own feverish palms, she bathed it with tears, kissing it passionately again and again. " Oh, my love, my love," she cried, "for- give me that I ever entertained one hard or cruel tiionj^t against yon I For who am I that I should judge another " And in that hour of bittw anguish Gsral- dipe Mainwaring's wounded self love waa healed. (to be oontinced.) Bill SimpBon'B Darter. Nofiatterhow hard and ugly the troth is, it Is. more pleasing than the affectation of wnat is not real. Exposure is certain to fol- low people who try tog) through life be- hind a mask of false pretonses. We liava littie sympathy foa pai^to like " Bill Simp- son's darter. " A gentiem m traveling from Toronto to New York city 11 " story At Niagara, two ladiea, dressed in the ex- treme of-fashico, entered the car. Th^ mannera indioated great affectation and oon- aeqnoit shallowness. The only unoccupied seat in the car waa diieotiy behind a qUite-lookiBg lady, evi- dentiy from the country. Her dress wm of eaUoo, hsr bosmet of i^ain straw, and hm kar ^0vaa ware of oottoo. Slw conld not- hewever, kava loolmd nu a lia and tka kad a good, kooeat teea. Aa tka faaUonabto ladisa adjostad tksir tku iiauiiwiisil aaat* oaa af HMfcthaoOiar: i Doo't 7«B: Ikiak K «m bad that than I aWOOAW IWAHTAHO iaanil tha U poer ao '•How-fai what way r aakfd psnfcw. *-WkT ksrn wa an oBossdad arttt eh asB S rf paepia, soasa 'f tkamao Lookattiiat psfaaakkfitoatof «a. "Horrfal.iantskar* "PerfaetlydnadfaL" "LookaUkaaooasmon Ubanr. ** How aoBoyiBg to bave to ouna in taet with audi pao^ 1" "Beleags to soma ordfaiary faasily. one could only extdnda oae'a self from paraoBs when tnveltng even abort dia- tanoe! I anppnaa its horrid in ma to aay it, bat I have all my lifehadsnohanpagnanoa to coounon laboring ptoftb. The lady in tlie oalioo dress must hava beard a part of this ooaversatioB, bnt har f aoa waa parfaetiy oomposed. At tiiat BODBsat, an eldarly man in homespun uid home-made garmenta of a farmer, oama down tha aisto- He stopped before tiie ladiaa of f aahkm, doaely aomtiniz- ad thefeatarsaof tha one bavin "aneh a rapognanoa to ccmmon panp'a," and joat aa the train stopped at a station, cried out loud enough to be heard by every person in the oar " Lookea hyar, ain't you old Bill SHmp- aon'a darter But I now yon air 'thont askin' How de do, aoyhow You don t change a speck. Got the same noee yon had when you wor little gU o' twelve or fifteen years, trottin' b'rfoot nnnd my old farm in Podunk county. " Yer mind how I yoast tss give yer two bita a day an' yer dinner for helpia' my yonnguns dig tators 1 Ho ho h " The young lady had dropped her beaded veil, and was nervously biting at her fan, but the farmer went on heedlessly " They's been mighty changes sinoes than. Your pap went out to Coloraday, an' nude a big fortin' thar, an' I hear you live in great style. But Bill Simpson ain't the man to f ergit old hrens. sn' yon tell 'Im that you've saw old Jack Billings,, what youst to give him a-menny a day's work when he was so pora his family had ter wait till tiio hens laid 'fore they could hev any break- fast. You kin remember that yerself, I reckon. An' there wa'n't nobody gladder nor me when yer pap did git rich so sud- dint, for he was a mighly bard-workin' blacksmith, an' always pore 'cause of bad luck. My wife sez that she lost an awful good washer-woman when yer ma moved, an' â€" I git off here. Good-by giod-by " The meekest, most subdued person on that train during the rest of the trip " BUI Shnpson's darter," PIOUS SMILES. A Georgia man has a hen twenty yean old oaring for a large brood of little ohiok- ens of her own hatehing. This would go to show that hens are good for something else besides eating. "Two hundred and forty bones in the ha- man body," ia the way it reads in the books but a short acquaintance with a boardins house mattress will make almost any man (3 spare build bet his last collar buttra tiien hasn't been a fair count. Digby met a friend who is terribly given to fibbing, and accosted him thus "Bmu to ohurchtoHday, Jones?" "No," was the quick response 'I've been on the bed nearly all day," "Just aa I expeoted," ehimed in Dig^ by "you're always lying." A young wife latoly lost her husband, who was seventy years old. "But how did yon happen to marry a man of that age " asked one of her friends. " Why," said the young widow, "yon see I only had the choice be- tween two old men, and, of course, I took the oldest." At a wa" e near Mallow one of the wakers named Horan fell aslasp, and while he waa unconscious a red-hot poker was put down his back. He sprang up, and in his writhing to get the poker aot he only burned his body more. Finally ke rushed out and jumped in- to a pool of water, and now he will probably die. A story is told of the reporter of a Jewish paper who prepared an abstract of his rabbi's sermons, and on one ocoasion read it to the rabbi himself. " Step stop I ' said he, at the occurrence of a certain sentence, "I didn't say that" "I know yon didn't," was the reply "I put that in to make sense." An English clergyman asked an unedu- cated woman whether she liked his written or unwritten sermons the best. After think- ing a few momenta she said% "Why, I loe yo the best without the book, because yo keep saying the same thing over and over again, and that helps me to remember what I hear a good deal better." When a man with two heavy satehela is running to catch a street car and a small boy turns the comer just in time to get all tangled up with his legs, it is not perhapa the most fitting moment to shove a tract in- to his pooket addrened to "the profsno man," bnt it is very apt to strike the mar- ket for which it was manufactured. Two men were discussing material used for bnildfaig purposes, and amc^g tiie rest laths. Commenting on the fact that the {ffice of laths were comparatively high, one of them lemarked '*i don't see what in the world keeps laths'up," when a third party, who never leto a ohanoe go when lie sees it, made the simple reply *-N«ils." A Scotoh minister waa once ordered "beef tea" by his physician. The next day the patient complained that it made him sick. 'Why, minister," said the doctor, "Fll try the tea myaA'" So, putting some in a skillet, he warmed it, and told the minister it was excellent. " Man," said the minister, " is that the way ye sup it " " What itiier way skonld it besuppit? If a excellart, I say, min'ster." " It may be gude thatway, doctor but fry it wi' the cream and sugar, man 1 try it wi' that, and then aee boo ya lik«itl" "GanflamsB are requested not to ahool wbien aa bononbto member is in Una witii the Augnatos P- Collina window.' TUa patiietio iitacriptfon mmcmoe to be fourd in the i^aoe of naMting of a Western Legida- ture. Aogaatus P. Collins had patriotf c^- ly pressBtad ike Senate with a vahisble atafaad-giafliiiiMAir, and Hwaafdt that it would bo â€" w u r Ik y of an aeo nomie Stateto gat It hroksB bf oaaoal nrolvar Lsiiifaitan eoold Aaot aai^ nninliif inafe- p» "" Wf " "• ifM^ .STif'hrsv'i (it ?, -». â-  ' i • t 'i â-º 1 },^.i t "â- : -I 'r^.^^ h t;!' i^tg imtM JSim riiiliHriiiflii

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