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as SSS^^SB TSPsM mm I f t JUST m wvm A GooU Yai'ii The thop assistant was trying very hard to make a sale, but the customer waved aside every shirt that was put before him. Wcaiily the assistant showed him the last of the selection. "It's wonderful value, sir," he said earnestly. "Worth double the money. Latest pattern, fast colours, bole-proof, won't shrink, and it's a good yarn." "Yes, and very well told," came the curt reply. Plain But 'Olesome A very pleasant-looking, but not loo beautiful, little lady entered a London store. Noticing a striking poster advertising their beauty scr- yice, she asked the liftman where- abouts in the store the beauty par- lour was situated. The man glanced at her face and noted with satisfaction that she ap- parently did not niakc-up. "Miss, ycf don't want ter go mucking yer face abaht. Why not stay as yer are â€" plain but 'ole- some I" Danger Spot Two dogs were walking down the street; Said Fido, '"Poodles, I declare We ought to have a sign put up, 'Beware of the boy who lives in there'." Not Her Own Mrs. Halt stopped to talk to her friend, and her husband waited a •hort distance away. Presently she rejoined him. "H'm," he said, "and what was Mrs. Brown talking about?" "Business," she replied, off-hand- tdly. "Yes, I know," murmured her kosband, "but whose?" Beaten to It A young woman about to be married decided to test her sweet- heart, and called on a girl friend. "I want you to go for a walk with Jack," she confided, "and at • suitable moment ask liim for a fciss."- Her friend blushed, but consent- td. The following day the bride-lo- fc* called round to see what had happened. "Did you ask Jack to hiss you, dear?" "1 didn't get a chance," was the reply. "He asked me long before I was going to.' Citizenship Champ National Junior Citizenship champ i.«; the title of Daryl Koch, 13, of the Dubuque, la.. Boys' Club, an honor awai:ded him in â-  field of 375 National Boys' Clubs of America for his partici- vation in sports, panel discus- sions on juvenile problems, and junior high srhool scholastic ^t:ltll•lirlg. Her Wasted Life As he was under orders to go abrord, the ardent young soldier begged his girl friend to marry him •t once. Father worried about it, the girl sought advice from the maiden aunt who'd broucht her up. "Tell me what you'd do, aunty," she asked. "I suppose you think it wouldn't be sense to marry bepause I'm so young?" "Well, dear," said her aunt, "1 4unnol If I had my time over •gain, 1 think I'd get married be- fore I was old enough to have tense not to.' Milk a la Tray The mistress was c.Nacting, and she had the new maid fhietcred. One of her ^rdcrs was to bring a glass of milk every evening at seven o'clock. The first evening the maid appeared with the glass of milk in her hand. "Jane," said the mistress sharply, "don't ever do that again. Always bring it on a tray." The following evening Jane ap- pe.nrrd at the door with a worried look on her f.n'c and a tray full of m''k in her hands. "Rxrn^e me, ma'am," she said an- ioii-ily, "but do 1 bring a spoon wilii this, or do you lap it up?" FLAMES HCK SKYWARD OVER TEXAS CITY 'PAYING GUEST' The blatt Emashcd town of Texas City lies in the foreground at right. Crete roads of its 30-acre plant are at left, a mass of fire-blackened de Texas City disaster. In middle, background, are fuel storage tanks. Montanto Chemical's once gleaming styrene towers and the neat con- bris under the smoke of the still burning area on the second day of the many of which exploded into flames. When the French Line freighter Grandcamp put into Texas City, on Galveston Bay, crew members began loading her with ammonium nitrate, badly needed for fertilizer in France. Nitrate is ordinarily stable, but may explode if exposed to intense heat. A few days later a small fire was discovered in the hold of the Grandcamp. In less than an hour the ship exploded and set off a chain of explosions. A City Devastated Within two hours the city was devastated. Continuing explosions collapsed buildings, sent chunks of masonry, steel and flaming timbers hurtling through the air. The Mon- santo plant, adjacent to the docks, became a flaming oven of wreck- age as its chemical supplies ignit- ed. Black smoke veiled the area. Beneath it seeped poisonous fumes released from the chmicals. The explosions continued. \ second nitrate-filled ship exploded, causing new destruction. Observers likened the holocaust to a wartime bombing. Gen. Jonathan M. Wain- wright, hero of Bataan, in the city to proffer Army aid, said: "1 have never seen a greater tragedy in all my experience." About 550 persons were killed; 3,000 were injured. Property damage was estimated at over $125,000,000. The fate of Texas City put other port cities on their guard against similar blasts. Huge stocks of am- munition containing ammonium ni- trate were left at the end of the war. These stocks are beng pro- cessed and reconverted for use as fertilizers. Explosive experts at- tending the meeting of the .Ameri- can Chemical Society at Atlantic City last week pointed out that un- til the processing of the nitrates is completed, the danger of explosions will rwiiain a real one. Mystery Story: "A Falling Mouse" In the heart of New York City, within sight of Radio City, there is a small vacant corner lot. Brick buildings rise on two sides, while the others are bounded by a high wire fence. Peering through the wire wesh, a dozeri men and women watched something taking place inside, re- lates the Philadelphia Inquirer. A cat had discovered a mouse hidden under a mass of wind-blown papers. It would poimce first at one place then at another as it detected the scurrying of the mouse beneath the papers. Finally, the mouse readied the nearest wall and began climb- ing straight upward on the tace of this precipice of brick. While the cat watched below and while the people watched outside, the mouse pulled itself higher and higher. It moved more slowly searching for clawholds, mounting upward brick by brick. It was more than two storeys in the air when it lost its hold. Women screamed as it plunged downward. It struck the ground and, to everyone's open-mouthed amazement, instead of lying there stunned or dead, it scampered off and later made good its escape. * < * At Cornell University, another mouse survived an even more spec- tacular fall. Within a few days of giving birth to a Ktter, a mother mouse fell three storeys to a con- crete walk below. She not only es- caped death but later gave birth to a full litter of uninjured baby mice. The ability of small animals to sustain long falls lies in the relation of their body weight to their ex- ternal surface area. The smaller the animal, the greater Is the propor- tion of surface area to body mass. An ant is buoyed up by the air when it falls from a cliff. A horse is not .... It is too heavy in propor- tion to its surface area to have its fall checked by air pressure. VOICE OF THE PRESS India's irrigation system, the world's largest, wafers over 45,000,- 000 acres. STUFF AND THINGS Tcen-Ager Definition: A teen-aged boy is a person who flops on the sofa on the back of his neck and scatters his legs over half the living room. â€" Stratford Beacon-Herald. This Year! With maple syrup at six or seven dollars a gallon, who now would call the farmer "a poor sap?" He's the "candy kid.' â€"Ottawa Citizen. Long-Awaited Operation Certain types of deafness can now be relieved by chiselling a tiny window through the bone of the in- ner ear. This gives hope that new progress will be made in that long- awaited operation which is design- ed to get a joke into a Scotsman's head. â€" Peterborough Examiner. History-Book Problem We have often noted in Canada that history text books vary beyond recognition according as they are written in English or French, and the problem 'of producng a book that will be even reasonably accept- able to the two main divisions of Canadians has never yet been satis- factorily solved. â€" Halifax Chronicle. Only The Best Jap night spots recently noticed a slump in food business when a report circulated that poisoned meat had been sold on the black market. One place that specialized in "beefsteaks" put up a sign stat- ing: "Absolutely safety guaranteed for our beefsteaks. We are using horsemeat as heretofore." â€" Variety. Better In The Open It may actually be much safer to let the Communists operate in the open in North America. That way, we shall at least have some idea of what they are up to. And there will be less chance of the public grow- ing complacent and imagining that Communism is dead and buried, merely because it has been declared illegal. â€" Edmonton Journal. Or, There Aren't Any As one pessimist remarked, the car you can't get in a model that hasn't been decided on yet is un- available in most colcrs. â€" St. Thomas Times-Journal. Office Boy Not Extinct An M.P. says that "the office boy is as extinct as the dodo." We disagree; they call them "junior executives" now*, and pay them more, but their capacity is just the same. â€" Peterborough Examiner. Why Bother? More men are wearing plain knit ties, we learn from a press report. This brings up the question, why wear ties at all? One of ttie most foolish customs is that of men who bind their necks almost to strang- ling point with various kinds of fabrics. Some of the gaudy ties that one sees are almost as ridiculous as the women's hats that strike your eyes in the Easter parade. Men who laugh at the things women are pleased to call hats nilglit do well to take a second look at their ties. â€" Chatham News. Russia Showing Stereoscopic Movies A new stereoscopic screen for three dimensional films is being built in Russia, Tass, the official Soviet news agency, reported. Moscow's first stereoscopic movie theater rec^tntly opened but only 180 spectators can be accommo- dated. When the new "integral" screen is completed it will be possible to show three dimensional films in large theaters, the Tass agency said. The Soviet Government has pro- vided funds amounting to about $4,000,000 for further research in the field of the stereoscopic movie theater, according to Semen Ivanov, an inventor of the stereoscopic screen. Screen comedian Charles Chaplin is in serious mood as he vehem- ently answerg questions of news- men concerning his alleged leftist leanings and failure to becom'e an AiTiSlican "ritizen. At Nety, ^<p^ interview he declared he is a "pay- ing guest" of U.S. Communism: World Conspiracy Odd the woolly arguments thai are being made against the United States barring Communists from government department'!, rDmmentl the Ottawa Journal. For example, that this is an interference with conscience, aimed at a man's right to think as he pleases. The Government of the United States is not making it a crime for a man to be a Communist. It merely says to such a man: "If you are a Communist, or subscribe to what Communism is today, an attempt to overthrow democratic government, then we can't provide you with facilities for your work. You may think as you please; we are not going to make easier your revolutionary acts." Communists, it is argued, are be- ing made into outlaws. Commun- ists are already outlaws â€" have put themeslves outside the law by their creed that they owe allegiance to no authority outside of Moscow. To speak of Communism today ^ as a party, as an economic creed, is to abuse language. Communism isn't a party, and isn't an economic creed â€" it is simply an international conspiracy. -â- Ks such, strictly speak- J- ing, it can claim no rights. Liberia is the only independent republic on the continent of .Africa. What About the Pork? Farmers throughout this district are being urged to grow more beans for canning purposes this year. What about the pork? Have you noticed they don't even print "Pork" on. the labels of the cans any more.? There was a time when you could find a tiny square of pork among the beans, if you had good eyesight. â€" St. Thomas Times-Journal. First Billionaire Henry Ford, the world's first billionaire, was the King Midas of all time. Compared to Ford, Croesus, the last king of Lydia and from whom we get the phrase "rich as Croesus," was a piker. Ford started life as a $2.50-a- week mechanic and died with a for- tune estimated at more than a billion dollars. His wealh has never been equalled by any ruler or potentate in history. Identify "MR. F. T. WATTS," well - known Canadian Kadio Person- ality. FOR FHI.T, PART1C»:LARS: Tune In CKOC> 1130 on >oiir dial, commtuclni Sunday .May 4th. throuKh to May 10th InclualTe. The Voice of 'Mr. F. T Watta' will be broadcast at varloun timea DAILY ttarouKhout that week along wJb complete iletalls of the Conti-st. Celebrating its 25th Anniversary â€" May 4th to 10th. -you're going to meet a tall, dark handsome man!" POPâ€" Same Old Story By J. MILLAR WATT â- YM -TIED UP AT THE OFFICE ' '-> '4 At 4* m m m 'J* -54 '-*r â-  'J* 'Mr 'M !A 'M % 'â- â- a m m « 11 â- It 'M >«• 'M m â- m tM m f* M m ^ '4 >M % Mi 9*. 1 A •s 5#